Daylight
by Becca Austen
Summary: Seven years after "Breaking Dawn," Renesmee Cullen's a high school senior. All her life, decisions have been made for her, decisions she never questioned. Until now. On the precipice of adulthood, Nessie must blaze her own path to happiness. Will she succeed?
1. Half Vampire Hang Ups

**- DAYLIGHT -**

**An Unauthorized Sequel to the**_** Twilight**_** Saga by Stephenie Meyer**

**DISCLAIMER****: I do not own **_**Twilight**_** or any of the story's many varied characters.  
>They belong to author Stephenie Meyer. This is simply my own novel-length version of a sequel to the popular series.<br>No copyright infringement is intended. No money is being made.****  
><strong>**(AKA: This is Ms. Meyer's chessgame, and I'm merely moving around the pieces.)**

—**D—**

**Chapter One: Half-Vampire Hang-Ups**

There were days when being a half-vampire had its advantages.

Unfortunately, today wasn't one of them.

I gripped the sides of the podium in front of me and forgot for a second how much stronger I was than the wooden lectern. The slight feel of crunching timber beneath my fingers reminded me. I immediately let go. My nerves, unfortunately, wouldn't do the same.

"Renesmee Cullen," Mr. Gordy said from the back of the room, "you may proceed."

_Uh . . ._ I swallowed, trying to remember all the encouragement my parents and Jacob, my best friend, had lovingly filled me up with just this morning. But, right now, I had a hard time remembering my name. Public speaking wasn't going to be the most difficult thing I'd ever do in my life. Yet, that little fact didn't help my nerves one bit. I looked around at the faces of my fellow students staring expectantly back at me and wondered how each one of them in turn had been able to stomach this. They're physically weaker than me, intellectually too. In fact, I'd understood more by my first month of life than they probably did right this minute.

_Maybe it's their age._ It's possible. Everyone in this room is older than I am. Wonder what they would think if they knew I just celebrated my seventh birthday? They'd probably laugh in disbelief. After all, I certainly don't look like a child. I have long, bronze-colored hair which is currently braided down my back; cocoa eyes; big feet (_It's killer trying to find shoes you like when you wear women's size 11_); am 5' 8" height; and have a somewhat curvy—_although not as curvy as I'd have liked—_figure. No, at seven-years-old, I have the appearance of a teenager or young adult. But then again, I've never looked my age.

With a vampire for a father and a human for a mother, what else could you expect_?_ By the time I was a month old, I looked like a toddler. By age three, I was easily mistaken for a 10-year-old. Now, having celebrated past my last birthday only a month before, I knew the changes in my features would soon become fixed for the rest of my immortal existence. Maybe they already had. At least that's what my paternal grandfather, Papa Carlisle as I called him, had been saying lately. As he was a vampire and scientist who had been measuring and studying my development since I was born, he was undoubtedly somewhat of an authority on the subject.

Within the first few months of my life, my features changed almost hourly. After several more years, however, the acceleration of my maturity had begun to slow. It had slowed so much three years ago that even regular humans were less aware of any changes in me now. Because of this, I'd been allowed to enroll in high school in Castlewood, South Dakota. It was a small, quaint town full of people who preferred to keep to themselves, which for a family like mine was perfect. My first day of school, my father had suggested I use this time to get in as many human experiences as possible. My mother had dryly remarked that human experiences were usually overrated.

Standing in front of the entire class about to make my first-ever public speech, I was inclined to agree with Mom.

I suppose most people would be thrilled at the prospect of youthful immortality, but for me, it has its drawbacks. Even though my father and mother—who is also now a vampire—are as immortal as I am, there are other members of my family far more fragile. My maternal grandfather Charlie, for example, is as human as they come.

_And when he dies, I'll never see him again. Never._ Humans could comfort themselves in the time of death as they knew their own mortality would reunite them with their loved ones, either in Heaven or oblivion. I, unfortunately, have no such consolation. No, I will continue living even as everyone other person in this room dies. _Yeah, that definitely takes the bloom off the rose, or so they say._

"Miss Cullen?"

I closed my eyes, trying to focus on the matter at hand. Death and immortality can always be pondered later. Public speaking is what I needed to concentrate on now. I suppressed a shiver of revulsion. Logically, this assignment shouldn't be a problem for me. No doubt, it wasn't for many people.

_Regrettably, I'm not one of those people._

Opening my eyes, I peered down at the blue index cards laying on the podium in front of me. All I had to do was pick them up and talk. It really wasn't too complicated. _Right?_ I briefly considered all the abilities I was empowered with as a half-vampire. I can run faster than the subway, crush this podium into a pile of toothpicks, have teeth sharper than the blade of the best Samurai sword, and was able to understand complex algorithms and scientific theories by the time I was two-years-old. Most importantly, I can communicate simply by touching someone. Thoughts, images, memories, ideas—all can be transmitted by me through a slight stroke of my fingertip against someone's skin. As great as my powers are to have, not one of them is useful at a time like this.

The irony that I am able to communicate so well nonverbally and yet unable to complete a simple verbal speech is not lost on me—believe me.

Vampires can remember things with lightning speed and accuracy, a skill I also have acquired as a half-vampire. But, public speaking is made up of so much more than just reciting a stack of memorized words. I hated all the eyes on me and the collective listening and judging of every word coming out of my mouth as well as the cadence and tone I used to sound out the syllables. It was enough to give me a headache, and_ I_ can't get headaches.

I tried to pep myself up. _You can do this. A little speech on the rise and fall of the Roman empire should be cake. _A moment went by, and my stomach clenched painfully. I sighed, finally acknowledging the truth. _Nope, I can't do this._

"Miss Cullen, we don't have all day," Mr. Gordy called, his voice ever impatient.

"O.K." I took a deep breath, knowing I didn't have a choice in this. I was going to have to do this speech whether I wanted to or not.

_Just kill me now._ I considered the ridiculousness of that thought for a second. A wry smile cracked the corner of my mouth as another, more ridiculous thought popped in to take its place. Really, it didn't matter what my father said:

_Sometimes, being a human really sucks._


	2. The Winter Formal

**Chapter Two: ****The Winter Formal**

"Nessie! You forgot your coat."

Dropping my book bag into the backseat of the Range Rover my parents bought me last Christmas, I turned to see Derek Martin, the blond quarterback of the football team, president of the senior class, and all around prince charming of Castlewood High School, running up to me carrying the denim jacket I must have accidentally left behind in my last class of the day. (Pre-Calculus. It's the only class Derek and I have together.) I reached out to take it, looking him in the eye as I automatically smiled in gratitude. He stopped midstride, his face breaking into an expression of stunned wonder. _Crap._ I groaned and ducked my head, hoping he'd snap out of it.

"Dazzling," as my mother calls it, is just another vampire power. Because I'm a half-vampire, I have a form of this as well. Mom still likes to tell me stories of the many, many times Dad dazzled her while they were dating. He still does it from time to time—or so she says. For me, dazzling isn't really a power. Rather, it's more a side-effect I can never seem to control. It always happens at the most inconvenient times, usually with humiliating consequences. I still shudder to remember a few years ago when I carelessly smiled at a guy who was driving down the street and caused a three-car pileup. Uncle Emmett, Dad's brother, still loves to kid me about _that_ every chance he gets.

Not looking up, I took the jacket from Derek, mumbled a quick thanks, and turned to get into the car before anything else mortifying could happen. By the time I'd plopped into the front seat and slammed the door behind me, the spell around him apparently broke. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him shake his head a little as if to clear it. He approached the car.

"I wanted to ask you something." Derek gave his own dazzling smile, which only served to irritate me.

_I bet if Derek was a half-vampire, he'd be a master of the dazzle._ I sighed. Too bad all that charm was wasted on me. A dozen girls at Castlewood High School probably went to bed ever night dreaming about him. Strangely, I'd never been one of them. Up until that very moment, I'd never considered that odd. _But, now. . ._

"Nessie?"

"Yes?" I asked as hearing my nickname broke me from my stupor. I took in his crystalline blue eyes, as striking as the ocean in the tropics. His sculpted face was molded to perfection, giving him the appearance of a young Brad Pitt. Yet, even as he smiled at me, I felt absolutely nothing in response. _Weird._ "What did you want to ask me?"

"The Winter Formal is coming up in a few weeks and I wondered if you wanted to go—with me." I could see he was trying to appear cool and reserved, like he was confident I'd say yes. The slight tremors coming from the hand holding his book bag and the racing heart I could hear pounding against his chest, however, gave him away. I stared down at the steering wheel in front of me, trying to find a way to nicely turn him down. No words came. It didn't take me long to realized why. I didn't have any real reason to turn him down. It's not like I have a boyfriend. The only constant male in my life who wasn't a relative is my best friend, Jacob Black. He is, in many ways, an extension of me, almost like there's an invisible thread or cable that keeps us attached. Most people might find that odd. But, as I've never known anything else, I don't. Jacob is just _Jacob_. He's always there. But, he's always been more a mixture of brother, companion, confidant, and rock than anything remotely romantic.

My father's advice about taking advantage of human experiences came back to me. I actually considered the invitation for a moment. I'd never been to a dance before. It could be one of the few things about being a human that I might have a shot at enjoying.

I glanced over to Derek, careful not to smile. "I'd love to go to the dance with you."

He beamed back at me as though I'd told him the Warriors had just won the state championship.

"Great. I'll call you this weekend, and we can work out the details. OK?"

"Sure." I nodded, unsure about this latest decision.

He walked off as though he were dancing on a cloud. I laughed, happy I'd apparently been able to please someone today. The image of Mr. Gordy's disappointed face earlier during my speech flashed in front of me. I ignored it in favor of starting the car and pulling out of the parking lot. I drove home, singing loudly to all the songs on the radio so I wouldn't have to think about that disastrous speech anymore. If I knew my family, I'd be talking about it long before I wanted to.

Turning into my drive, I followed the long, winding road. My family owns roughly fifty acres out here. Not only does it afford us privacy, but it allows us to have the freedom to fully be ourselves while we're at home. Around the last curve, I saw the house coming up. On the outside, my family's home is a large renovated pale yellow farmhouse with slate blue shutters and wide, wrap-around porch. One the inside, it's a two-story modern space with few walls, mostly white furniture, hardwood floors, and lots of light. As I pulled my car into the garage around back, I saw Aunt Rosalie and her mate, Uncle Emmett, working on Emmett's gargantuan Jeep. She occasionally called out for a tool, which my uncle handed over as he finished telling some funny story involving a bear.

As I grabbed my stuff, got out of the car, and approached them, Rosalie slid out from under the Jeep, slapping at the dirt and grease clinging to her clothes. With her thin frame, long blonde hair pulled back in an intricate braid, glowing, pale face, and overall majestically beautiful features, Rosalie looked more like a model than a grease monkey. I, however, never really paid much attention to my aunt's exquisite good looks. After all, my family is mostly made up of vampires and vampires are always beautiful.

"I would hug you, kiddo, but if I get a smear of grease on your new birthday sweater, your Aunt Alice will have my hide," Rosalie said, settling on a swift kiss on the cheek instead.

I smiled. "It would give me reason to toss it." I stared discontentedly down at the pale orange top gliding smoothly over my blue jeans. "I look like a pumpkin."

Emmett laughed. "It's no worse than when Alice got me those lime green polyester pants. Man, the 70's were a crazy time in fashion."

"I would remind you how great you looked in those pants. As I remember it, you wore them until you ripped out the back seam trying to win a disco contest." This came from petite, dark-haired Aunt Alice, who swooped in to give me a quick hug. "And you look gorgeous, Nessie. Not many people can pull off that color. You're lucky."

I rolled my eyes, knowing this particular aunt was always right in matters of fashion. After all, Alice was currently wearing skinny jeans and a sophisticated hunter green top that was probably made by some fabulous designer I've never heard about. Alice's mate, my golden-blond Uncle Jasper, came in right behind her. All this "mate" business would probably seem odd to a human, but in the vampire world, it encompasses the broad range of emotions, duties, and rights included in the joining of two vampires much better than "wife" or "husband" ever could.

"Where are Mom and Dad?"

It was Rosalie who answered my question. "They left with Carlisle and Esme to go hunting this morning, but they promised to be back before dark. Speaking of food, are you hungry? I could make you something or we could hunt."

I shook my head. The subject of food is always a weird one in my family. But, then again, it's bound to be. Vampires, after all, drink blood. Usually human. But, unlike most vampires, my family subsists on the blood of animals, which made all of their eyes turn my favorite color, a shade of buttery gold. Usually, the average vampire has to hunt about every two weeks. So, as my parents have been putting off their trip for the last few days in order to help me with last-minute preparations for today's big speech (_which basically called for calming me down every five seconds as I'd been a nervous wreck_), I wasn't surprised they'd finally had to satisfy their appetites. Actually, I was a little relieved to have them gone. It meant I could postpone talking about my terrible day.

My family's abstention from human blood and—in their eyes, murder—helps them better cope with the kind of creatures they are. After all, they don't want to kill humans. I know plenty of other vampires who have no such qualms, but, as a half-human myself, I admire my family for their restraint and compassion.

While vampires drink blood for nourishment, I, as a half-vampire, am slightly different. I can exist on either regular human food or animal blood. My usual preference is blood (_the taste is divine_), but an occasional hot fudge sundae with nuts is nice, too.

"Not hungry right now, Aunt Rosalie," I answered. My mind returned to the speech again and how bad the whole episode had gone. If that doesn't kill an appetite, I don't know what does. _Nope, I'm not going to think about that now_.

Jasper narrowed his eyes in concern. "Is something wrong, Nessie?" he asked.

I sighed. This particular uncle, in addition to being a vampire, is gifted with a unique talent. In fact, many in my family have unique talents. Jasper's, however, is that he's an empath. Basically, this means he can taste the mood of those around him, even modify it if he wanted. It often comes in handy for diffusing potentially dangerous situations, but I didn't want to feel that kind of counterfeit sense of calm now. It wouldn't last the second I was out of Jasper's sight and I'd only end up feeling worse than I did now. No, it was better to just make myself scarce. "I've got a lot of homework. So, if you all will excuse me—"

"Not so fast," Alice interrupted. "You really don't think you're going to make it inside without telling us how the dreaded speech went, do you?"

My shoulders sagged in disappointment. _Well_, _so much for not thinking about it._


	3. Almost

**Chapter Three: ****Almost. . .**

Getting the _look_ from Alice is never a good sign in an argument. Usually, it means you're about to lose.

Alice, her pale hands perched defiantly on her hips, stood in front of me. As her stature and build were elfin compared to those around her, it was almost a comical sight. _Almost._ Alice's look was hardly a reason for humor of any kind. "The look" in case you're curious, includes a devilish smirk finished off by one, lone eyebrow arched defiantly at you. Believe me, it may not sound like it, but it's pretty formidable.

Alice's talent is that she is a _seer_, or someone who can see into the future. It's a complicated and potentially unreliable skill as someone's future changes quickly depending on the decisions they make. My future was harder for Alice to see because I'm only half-vampire. She's often said my hybrid status means I come in somewhat blurry to her—if she's able to pick me up at all. _(Believe me, it's usually better for me when she can't see my future. Aunt Alice is quite the determined meddler.)_ There are other species of supernaturals—like werewolves for example—that she can't see at all.

In any case, she'd tried to be helpful this morning by predicting the speech would go fine, but something in her tone had signaled to me just how unsure she was. Apparently, she hadn't been able to see what a disaster my speech had been this afternoon. I was grateful for that.

"Uh oh," Rosalie tsked to the group, "Nessie's making the _face_."

I sighed and turned to look at my family. _I hate when they get like this._ It means they'll make me go into detail after agonizing detail of the speech while they overanalyze everything. Finally, they'll collectively decide I'm perfect, and it's the rest of the world that's screwed up. _All to make me feel better._ I'd tremendously enjoyed this experience when I was younger. But, now that I fully understood how biased they are when it comes to me, it doesn't have the same positive result anymore. It only makes me feel worse.

I tried to hold them off. "Don't worry. Everything went fine."

"Yep, that's the _face_ all right. It must have been really bad," Alice commented as though I hadn't spoken.

"Was there killing involved or just a little maiming? You finally drained the irritating Mr. Gordy, right? It's OK. We won't judge," Emmett ribbed, laughing at his own joke.

I grimaced. "The only harm done to anything was to my ego. Can we put the Spanish Inquisition off until Mom and Dad get back? That way I only have to tell it once."

"No," they chorused.

"Yes. Everyone, back off." This brusque order came from a deep voice I know as well as my own.

A scowling Jacob Black stepped off the back porch. He looked tired. _Probably fell asleep on the couch_, I thought. Tufts of short, inky black hair stood at attention all over his head, giving him the appearance of a little boy unexpectedly woken from his nap. Up until yesterday, he'd been in Forks, Washington, where he'd been born and raised and where his family still lived. Jacob had gone to attend the wedding of his sister, Rachel, to an old friend of his. As haggard as he'd looked when he arrived early this morning, I'd expected to find him still sleeping by the time I got home.

He made his way over, stopping only when he was by my side. He smiled down at me. I immediately smiled back. Jacob is tall with broad shoulders and warm, brown eyes. His body is wide, muscled and firm, and his features and skin are dark, attesting to his Native American ancestry. (_He's a full-blooded Quileute Indian and was raised on a reservation just outside of Forks.)_ And, unlike me, he looks every inch his twenty-four years in age.

Rubbing away the remaining traces of sleep in his face, he frowned at the vampires in front of him. "If she doesn't want to talk about it, she doesn't have to talk about it. Leave her alone and pick on someone your own size."

Emmett grinned at the blatant challenge. "Anytime, pup."

Jacob smirked. "None of you could handle me, bloodsucker."

"Oh, really?" Jasper asked, chuckling as he stepped forward.

I rolled my eyes, well used to this kind of bantering, and grabbed the opportunity to escape into the house.

"I could handle you, dog. It's your fleas I'd have a problem with," I heard Rosalie retort before I shut the back door behind me.

In case you missed it, Jacob is a werewolf, which is the natural enemy of all vampires. So I'm well used to all the name-calling. As my family isn't your average run-of-the-mill coven of vampires, they're able to get along with Jacob quite well. In fact, he's been living with us all of my life. It might seem unusual to some that a werewolf would choose to live with vampires, but it's normal for us. Jacob and my father have grown quite close in the years since he's lived with us, almost like brothers. More importantly, Jacob's been best friends with my mom since before I was born. After I came along, I guess that friendship transferred to me because I love having Jacob around and he loves being here. I can tell him anything without fear of reprisal, anger, or issue. He just gets me. Besides, it's nice having someone else around who isn't a full vampire. I suddenly wondered what would happen if he ever decided to leave. An unreasonable panic rose inside of me. Just as quickly, it was gone. _What was that?_ I shrugged it off. Jacob wasn't going anywhere. He might be a fully grown werewolf, but he's still a vital member of this family.

I made it up to my bedroom, dumping my book bag into a corner. Homework could wait. I tossed myself across my brass bed as I considered all the other ways my family was different than the norm—in the human world as well as the vampire one.

Most seniors in my high school live with their parents and siblings. I live in a house with my father, mother, Papa Carlisle and his wife, Mama Esme, two aunts, two uncles, and, of course, Jacob, who lives in an converted apartment over our garage. The only thing that has changed in our family as I was growing up was our main place of residence. For the first year of my life, we'd lived in Forks. This was where my parents had met and married. When it started getting harder to hide from the humans that my family wasn't aging (as well as all the constant changing I was doing), we moved to Brazil for several years so that Carlisle and my father could do some more research on half-vampires.

You see, I'm quite special in the vampire world. Up until Mom found out she was carrying me, none of my family knew that a male vampire could impregnate a human female. Since any kind of intense intimacy with a vampire usually leads to a human's death, why _would_ anyone think this _could_ happen? My parents, apparently, decided to press their luck. Not that I'm not grateful they did. I just try not to think about it too hard.

Still, here I am. My mother, Bella, was made into a vampire right after my birth to save her life (_Note:_ _Carrying a vampire's baby is hazardous to your health_). She'd been planning to be transformed anyway so she could live forever with my father, but I'd hurried along the process quite a bit. This meant I was an only child; not only for my parents, but also for all of the rest of my family. After all, two vampires can't create a child. Female vampires can't carry children at all. In fact, nobody in the family but my parents and Grandpa Charlie are even biologically related to me. Carlisle had been made vampire almost four hundred years ago. He, in turn, had found and converted my father, Edward, who was well over a hundred-years-old. In time, Carlisle had also brought over Esme, Rosalie, and Emmett. Alice and Jasper had been changed by two different people at two separate times. Using her seer ability, Alice had managed to find Jasper as well as the Cullen family, which she innately knew she was supposed to be a member of. Thus, here we all are.

Even though there isn't a biological tie between most of us, I still love every one of them as if there was. More importantly, I love being a member of the Cullen family.

_Not that we'll be the Cullens much longer_, I thought with a frown. Once I graduated from high school in May, it would be time for us to change our last name again. Carlisle and the rest usually did it about every twenty years or so to avoid detection from the humans. Vampires, after all, don't age. Carlisle and Esme looked to be in their mid-to late-twenties while Emmett, Rosalie, Alice, Jasper, and my parents all looked to be in their late teens to early-twenties. This meant we had to concoct quite a story when we'd moved here to explain how we all became a family. Basically, what we told everyone was that Carlisle and Esme, unable to have children of their own, had taken us all in. My father, Alice, and Emmett, because of their similar dark features, were said to be orphaned siblings adopted about five years ago. As Emmett had married Rosalie last year (_although that was really their twenty-eighth wedding ceremony_), they now posed as a newly-married couple unable or unwilling to break away from their close-knit family. My parents as well as Alice and Jasper did pretty much the same. Jacob was touted as a good friend of the family who rented the apartment over the garage.

This left just me. The townspeople believed me to be the orphaned niece of Edward and Bella Cullen, adopted by the young couple because she simply had nowhere else to go. Most even found it cute that I called them "Mom" and "Dad."

Overall, it was a complicated story, but most people bought it because it _was _complicated. Besides, it's obvious we all enjoy being together and we don't cause trouble. _So, what is there to question?_

"Nessie?"

The voice broke through my deep reverie. Jacob was leaning against my door jamb, giving me the lopsided grin that constantly made me smile. This time was no different.

"Come on in, Jake," I invited, sitting up and leaning against my pillows. I patted the empty end of my bed, an invitation for him to sit next to me. He took it.

"I'm not going to ask how the speech went."

I winced. "Thanks," I replied. "How was the wedding?"

He grimaced. "Lots of love, kisses, and tears. You know, the usual. I'm just glad it's all over. Rachel's been driving us all crazy. She wouldn't stop worrying about the details. I swear, she even sent me an email survey to tell her what wedding favors I thought she should have. Like I know a thing about that stuff. I'm just glad to be back." He chuckled.

I laughed with him, knowing he'd been more patient in the face of his clearly nervous sister than he was letting on right now.

"But, it must have been nice to be back home again, to see your father and the pack."

Jacob smiled, a faraway look in his eyes as if he were seeing it all again. I felt a pang in my chest as I considered how difficult it would be to be away from my family. It'd be agony. Luckily, I didn't have to worry about that. But, I knew firsthand how much I missed Charlie and our friends back in Forks. Jake's suffering had to be more acute than that.

"Don't you ever wish you could go back to live on the reservation?" I dared to ask.

He came back to himself. "You wanna get rid of me?" he teased.

I shook my head. "I can just imagine how hard it is to be away from them."

Jake got up from the bed and walked over to look out my window. I heard him mumble something to himself. All I was able to pick up was "…_harder to be away from…"_.

"What was that?" I asked.

"I said my life is here."

"That isn't what it sounded like."

He moved from the window, his crooked smile back in place. "Anything good actually happen today? It couldn't have all been bad, huh?"

As I didn't feel like pushing him, I let the matter drop and answered his question. "I got a B on my English paper." I shuffled through today's memories, looking for any other "good" news I might be able to tell him. Then, I remembered Derek. I laughed. "And I got asked to the Winter Formal."

Jacob's stance stiffened as if he'd been slapped. I instinctively rose from the bed, trying to pick up on the danger there must be around that might have caused his reaction. I used my super-sensitive, half-vampire hearing to listen (_which is not as good as full-vampire hearing, but still better than a human's), _but could only make out regular things. Nothing dangerous. The downstairs television was on. It was a rerun of _Gilligan's Island_. Emmett and Jasper were playing air hockey in the living room and arguing over the outcome of a football game. Upstairs, Rosalie and Alice were going over some new purchases Alice had made on her latest shopping trip.

"The Winter Formal?" Jake reminded me, his voice was gruff, almost angry.

My brow quirked in confusion. _What's going on here? Is he mad at me? Why?_ "Yes," I replied, cautiously. "Derek Martin asked me."

His body turned back to the window, but maintained its rigidity. "And what did you say?"

"I said yes."

I waited for him to say something, anything that would clue me into what was going on here. But, he remained silently staring out my window. Why would he be upset that I was going to a human dance? He'd been in high school once. He knew what they were. No doubt, he'd gone to a few himself. Did he think there was some danger involved? That was the only explanation I could come up with. Me being in danger was the only reason I'd ever seen Jacob act like this.

Finally breaking the silence, I said, "What's the matter?"

He looked over at me, his expression immediately softening. Walking up to me, he rested a hand on my shoulder. With the other, he gently cupped my jaw. Jacob tilted my head up so I was looking right at him. His eyes blazed with emotion, but I had no idea what the emotion was or even where it was coming from. "Do you like this Derek?" he murmured, seeming to search my face.

"He's a good guy, the high school quarterback, really handsome. All the girls at school constantly talk about him."

"But what do you think about him?" he prodded.

His thumb rubbed softly against my chin, and I felt a quiver of mysterious feeling roll across my stomach. Something major was going on here, and I didn't understand any of it. I was afraid to say anything because it seemed like my answer would somehow change everything between us. Unexpectedly, I was bombarded with a fear of that change as well as a rush of welcome that it was coming.

"Nessie?" Jacob leaned into me.

I blinked and instinctively edged nearer to him. _What is this? What are we doing? Jacob is my best friend and it feels like we're about to… But that can't be right, can it?_

I exhaled as another wave of incredible emotion washed over me. I felt drugged—_or, at least, what I imagine humans feel like when they're drugged_. I reached up to cover his hand, which was still cupping my jaw. The heat from him melted into me. My body was pulled by some unseen force closer to him. I didn't have the will to fight it. I wasn't able to think anymore. I was simply going on feel now. "Jacob," I whispered, unsure what his question was anymore or what my answer was.

"Nessie! Your parents are here. Come down and tell us about the speech or we're coming up to get you—Jacob or no Jacob."

Alice's voice was a splash of cold water on us. We jumped back from each other. I couldn't look at him. I was afraid of what I might do if I did. It seemed like my life was abruptly upside down, like I was the character Alice suddenly thrust into Wonderland. I turned from him and bounded to the door. "I'm coming!" I called down.

"Nessie," Jacob said.

I stopped at the door, but couldn't face him. Even the way he said my name was different now. It was like a caress. I covered my face with my hands, confused and scared at the same time. I felt him coming towards me. _If he touches me, I'm going to…_

"Not now, Jacob," I said and all but ran out the door.

I couldn't bring myself to look back.


	4. Avoidance

**Chapter Four: ****Avoidance**

I'm not exactly the best liar in history, but, if lying were a sport, I'd be quite the athlete. Then again, when your father's a telepath, your mother is very perceptive, your uncle can read your emotions, and your aunt can tell the future, you've got to develop serious skills if you want to enjoy any kind of privacy.

"Renesmee? Is something wrong? You look upset," my mother said as I made it down the stairs and into the living room. She was surrounded by the rest of my family, who'd all gathered to hear what had happened during my speech.

I kept my mind calm and Jacob-free because I could feel my father probing around. It's an instinctual thing for him. Mom being the slightest bit worried always sets Dad on the offensive. I guess it's good for her. For me, it tends to suck. The last thing I needed was my father knowing anything about what happened—_almost happened_—upstairs in my room. _Whatever that was._

The art of lying lies in telling as much of the truth as you can, while leaving out a few crucial details while taking what your audience already thinks is true and expanding on it. _(For example, my family already thinks I'm upset about the speech. So, even though I am more freaked out by what happened upstairs, I'm going to focus on the speech and let them think my freak out is about that.) _It's also important to play up the nonverbal cues. Thus, I pushed my hair back, darting what I hoped was a convincing grimace their way. "Other than the fact that I'm pretty sure I'm going to fail public speaking, I'm just great," I sarcastically said, forcing my mind to recall this afternoon's class of torture. _(Yep, my earlier frustration about my speech is going to be very useful to me now.)_

"It couldn't have been that bad," my father said, leaning forward to kiss my temple. Even though I'm full grown and look a lot like him, I'm stuck with Mom's shorter height. My dad is tall and lanky with bronze hair slicked back against his scalp so he can look old enough to be the community college teaching assistant he's supposed to be.

"Let's just put it this way," I retorted. "I started out talking about Julius Caesar and ended up babbling about Caesar salad."

I ignored Emmett's guffaw in favor of a conciliatory hug from my mother. She smiled at me, her topaz eyes boring into mine. They say my brown eyes are exactly like hers used to be when she was human. But, as I've only ever seen her as vampire, I'm going to have to take that one of faith. When she looks at me like that, I want to tell her everything that's troubling me. Today, I held myself back. She'd flip if she knew. Heck, I was flipping out enough as it was.

"I could've sworn I saw you doing well in the speech," Alice grumbled almost to herself, looking confused. "You practiced so hard. Did something happen to change things?"

"Yeah. I got to the front of the room and had to look at everybody. It scared me to death. Can I drop the class? It's not like I need it to graduate. It's an elective." I tried to put as much teenager whine in my voice as I could. My human friend from school, Emma, swears it works with her parents. Honestly, I should have known better than to try it on vampires.

Carlisle spoke up. "Nessie, learning how to speak publically is a good skill to cultivate. Unless you've suddenly decided you don't want to be a lawyer anymore? They have to speak in front of judges and juries all the time, you know."

I frowned. "It's not like I'll be able to be a real lawyer anyway, what with me always looking like a teenager and all."

"You can be whatever you want to be," Esme consoled, walking forward to pat my cheek. "Carlise's managed to have quite a medical career for well over three hundred years. I'm an architect, Rosalie's a master mechanic, Alice is a fashion guru—"

"I prefer the title, _Style Diva_," Alice announced, sending a wink in my direction.

Esme and I smiled at her. "She's also a gifted artist and stock market genius," Esme continued. "Your father teaches history at the local community college, your mother is a kindergarten aide, and even Jasper and Emmett have managed to carve out an interesting career for themselves."

My uncles had put their heads together a few years back and invented an online computer game called _Melon Rebellion_. The game, which had become an overnight sensation, took Jasper's skill for military strategy—honed while he was a Confederate officer during the Civil War as well as those early years after he'd been turned vampire where he'd had to fight to stay alive (_A whole other complicated story you don't want to know about, believe me)—_and combined it with Emmett's love of good, old, bloodthirsty fighting. Basically, the gamer had to fight through the historic Civil War battles, but instead of the North fighting against the South, it was humans against everything. Vampires, grizzly bears, zombies, werewolves, ghosts, dragons, trolls, and even fairies could plague a player on any particular battlefield at any time. The player scored the most points by decapitating their victims and gathering the heads. At the end of any given level, they could use the collected heads as bowling balls to knock over special pins for extra points. Hence the name, _Melon Rebellion_.

I sighed. "I guess so." I pretended to agree. It would end the conversation quicker.

"There will be other speeches. You'll get better with practice," my father promised.

I nodded, letting my family believe I felt better about the whole thing. In reality, I just wanted to get out of here so I could think about the episode with Jake. It was bizarre how something that had almost happened was now responsible for turning my world upside down. It was like the earth had shifted three degrees to the left or something. Nothing made sense anymore.

"Tell us the good news, though," Alice prompted.

"What news?" Rosalie and Esme asked in unison.

"Yeah," I said, puzzled as well. "What news?"

"Well, I might have been wrong about the speech, but I know I got the Winter Formal decision right. I'm so excited. Don't plan anything this weekend. We're flying to New York to get you the best dress ever made!"

"What is she talking about?" Mom asked.

I rolled my eyes. _Trust Aunt Alice to bring this up now._ "I got asked to the Winter Formal by Derek Martin."

"And what was your answer?" This question came from the person I'd been hoping to avoid until tomorrow. Jake stepped off the staircase and came to stand by my mother. His dark eyes focused on mine, almost as if he were daring me to respond. Irritation rose up within me. _Who does he think he is?_

I held his gaze as I answered. "I agreed to go with him."

For some reason, my father found this vastly amusing. He made so much racket laughing that my mother glared and elbowed him in the ribs several times to get him to stop. I watched as she sent concerned glances to Jacob, as if she was afraid he might be offended.

Jake, however, missed it all as he was still concentrating on me. I broke our staring contest first and turned to the rest of my family. "I'm going out for a run and to hunt. I think I just need to clear my head from this crazy day."

"Want me to go with you?" Jacob immediately asked.

"No," I said, knowing being alone with him was not going to help anything. _What is going on? What's changed between me and Jacob?_ I didn't like this, any of it. I needed to be away from everyone so I could think this out. I felt suffocated, unable to process. _I can't believe I almost kiss—_

The second I began to think _that_, I knew it was a mistake. I squelched it, but it was too late. Dad's eyes narrowed as he turned to look from me to Jacob, seeming to miss very little.

"She can go by herself," he declared, his tone so curt that none dared disagree with him. "Jake, you and I need to talk."

"Edward?" Mom called to my father, her eyes darting from him to Jacob, trying to pick up on what she was missing. I didn't care anymore. I just wanted to get away before my father decided he wanted to talk to me as well.

"Be back by ten," Rosalie said. "It's still a school night."

"Don't go too far," my mother warned, tossing me my cell phone. "And be careful."

"I will," I said, taking the chance to leave before someone stopped me. Jacob opened his mouth as though he was going to try, but I sprinted by him before he could utter a word.

"Vigilance," Jasper whispered as I passed him. It was what he usually said to me when I left on my own. It was his gentle reminder that I should always be on my guard while out and about. I'd never needed to be worried about anything attacking me _(in fact, in the woods I'm usually the most dangerous thing around), _but Jasper always said it just the same. I nodded to let him know I'd heard him and shot out the front door.

Within seconds, I was out into the night and racing across the fields at half-vampire super speed. Usually, I wasn't as fast as the rest of my family, but all my bewilderment with Jacob and a desperate need to get away powered me. I didn't care that I was running away from my problems or that what I was doing might be construed as cowardly. I only knew I had to be away from it all. I needed to think. I needed to understand exactly what happened up in my bedroom less than an hour ago and why it had changed everything as I knew it.

_Had Jacob really been trying to kiss me?_ It didn't make sense. He'd always been this platonic rock I could lean on in any situation. Romance never had anything to do with it. I'd always felt safe, comfortable, and confident around him. Nothing more. There'd never been any tension or weird feelings that took you over for no reason and made you want to act in ways you normally wouldn't have. Jake had always been like the stuffed teddy bear on the edge of my bed. Now, it seemed like the teddy bear had tried to make out with me. I didn't know how to feel about that. I groaned as I pushed myself to extremes, running so fast my feet were barely touching the ground anymore.

Suddenly, I could see it all in my mind again like a movie. The image was vivid, and I knew my unique mental gift was allowing me to do this. It felt as if it were really happening. _His face leaned closer, his lips were almost on top of mine. An ache, a longing I couldn't explain, urged me to wrap my arms around his neck and tilt my head back to receive him. My body moved against his as_—I tripped over a rock and unceremoniously splattered to the ground.

Lying there, I couldn't move. I was too clouded by my own wants and feelings to do anything. I didn't need to do an inventory to know I wasn't hurt. (It takes a lot more than a simple fall to damage a half-vampire.) No, after my imaginary walk down memory lane, I wasn't wounded, disturbed, or even angry anymore.

I was stunned. The only thing stranger than being stunned was that I wasn't sure which truth I'd just figured out had shocked me more. The fact that Jacob had indeed tried to kiss me or the fact that I now desperately wished he had.


	5. You Tell Her Or I Will

**Chapter Five: You Tell Her Or I Will**

When I returned home that evening, I noticed the light in the apartment above the garage was glowing. Shadows moved in front of the Jacob's living room window. I knew immediately my parents were in there with him. _What did they know? What's he saying to them?_ Just as quickly as I the questions popped in my head, I pushed them aside. I wasn't ready to deal with this yet. I pulled a Scarlett O'Hara and decided to think about it in the morning. I'd hurried into the house, and after bidding everyone a swift good night, I went to bed and pretended to be asleep anytime anyone came to check on me. After midnight, I managed to sink into a fitful, dreamless doze.

By the next morning when I came downstairs, I found my parents had both gone off to their respective jobs and Jacob was still in his apartment. I took advantage of these unexpected developments and rushed out the door, assuring a startled Rosalie and Esme that I needed to be at school early to review for a test. I counted myself lucky in escaping that easily, especially since I still wasn't sure how to explain what had happened between Jacob and I—even to myself.

Unfortunately, my luck ran out by the time I made it home from school. As I pulled into the garage, I saw the three of them waiting for me. My parents were standing together, and Jacob was off to the right by himself. I got out of the car and grabbed my book bag, trying to act like the sight of them standing there like a judging tribunal wasn't worrying me for a second.

"Tough day at school. I've got a lot of homework," I offered, trying to ease by them.

"Renesmee." My mother said this. Her firm, maternal tone in using my name was enough to stop my flight. She's the only one who ever calls me by my full name. Mom always says it's because my nickname reminds her of the Loch Ness monster. Honestly, it's never really bothered me. I've always believed that since the original Nessie is a unique and mysterious creature, sharing her name meant that perhaps I could one day be considered unique and mysterious as well.

"I'm really not ready to talk about this yet. I don't suppose we could postpone it a little while, could we?" I asked. But, it was like a desperate plea in front of an unforgiving jury.

"It's time you knew the truth." This came from my father. His pale jaw was tight with anger, and his eyes held a fierce determination I didn't fully understand.

"Truth?" I repeated. "What truth are you talking about?" I looked over to Mom, but she wouldn't look at me. I turned to Jacob, whose face I'd been carefully avoiding all this time. "Jake, what is he talking about?"

He frowned at my father. "This doesn't need to be said today. Can't you see she's freaking out, Edward? Telling her now will only make it worse. We should wait."

Dad's tone in his reply was low and deadly. "You should have thought about that _yesterday_."

"Edward." My mother's voice was pleading.

_Whatever this is, it isn't just about whatever happened yesterday in my bedroom_, I told myself.I stopped being confused and skipped right over to worried. "What's going on? Tell me what?" I demanded, taking a few steps closer to them. If I wasn't freaking out before, I definitely was now.

My father wrapped a reassuring arm around my mother's waist, pulling her to him. "It is time, Bella. We should not have kept this from her for this long. The decision has been made." He glared over at Jacob. "You tell her or I will."

I stared at Jake until his eyes at last met mine. I could see apprehension in his expression; apprehension, dread, and a host of other things.

"Nessie," he said, his breath coming out like a harsh growl. "Bella and I were best friends a long time before you were born."

"I already know that. You loved Mom at first, but then you realized she loved Dad more than she could ever love you. So, you put your feelings aside, stayed friends with her, and became friends with Dad. It was a wonderfully selfless thing you did."

He sighed, looking away. "I'm no hero. There's a reason I was able to do that as quickly and easily as I did. It's called imprinting."

"Imprinting? Like baby ducks imprinting on their mother? That kind of imprinting?"

"Similar, but no. Imprinting is the werewolf way of choosing a mate. It's almost like natural selection. It's involuntary and final. Legend has it that the werewolves from my tribe have always imprinted. It's an important way to ensure that the bloodline of the next generation is stronger and more able to survive than the previous one."

"How does it work?"

"All it takes is one look between a werewolf and his chosen mate. Suddenly, it's like the world has no hold over you. You see only the woman at your side. You would do anything for her, _be_ anything for her. You can only exist because she is there." He closed his eyes as if he was fighting against some invisible force. "The tie between the pair goes both ways, but it's felt strongest by the wolf."

This discussion was making me more uncomfortable by the minute. "What does this have to do with Mom and Dad?"

"The day you were born was the day my best friend died. Bella's heart stopped beating right under my hand. It felt like I'd died too. It wasn't long before I couldn't stand to be in the room with her corpse anymore. Edward told me to leave. He never gave up hope on saving Bella. I did, but he didn't."

"Jake," Mom said, reaching out to lay a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

Jacob put his hand on top of hers and gave her a small smile. "It's fine, Bella. I've made my peace with it."

I wasn't sure what he was trying to tell me. I only knew I needed for him to get to the point soon. I couldn't stand much more. "I don't understand—"

He turned to stare me down, and I forgot what I was going to say. All at once, I felt myself sucked into his concentrated gaze, unable to look away. Jacob moved forward, until he was only a hair's breadth from me. I felt heady as his nearness caused a wave of delicious sensation to rush over me.

"I heard you downstairs," he said. "Rosalie was feeding you. Honestly, I went down there with the sole purpose of killing you. I wanted someone to pay for Bella's death. I planned on taking out Blondie too, but I just considered that a bonus."

_He wanted to kill me? My Jake?_ I felt my world tilt again. Nothing made any sense. He'd always been at my side with whatever I needed. My Jacob, my best friend, would never betray me. Yet, he'd wanted to kill me? _But_, I quickly reasoned, _he didn't go through with it._ His grief might have made him want to kill me in the beginning, but the fact that I'm standing here proves he changed his mind. I felt a heavy pull from inside me, urging me to be closer to Jacob. I fought against it, holding my ground.

I kept my eyes locked with his. "You didn't do it, though." I wasn't sure if it was a declaration or a question.

"No. All it took was one look at you to change everything."

The full implication of his statement was not lost on me, but I wasn't ready to accept it. I wanted to back away. But, the draw to be closer to him grew stronger, like there was an invisible cable hooked to me and I was being slowly reeled in.

_No_, I thought. _No, I don't want to know this. It's too much._ I stepped back from him—from all of them—but I couldn't tear my gaze away from his. I also couldn't stop myself from asking the question plaguing my mind. I had to hear the answer. I had to hear him say it even though I couldn't quite believe it was true. "Why, Jake? Why couldn't you kill me?"

"Because I imprinted on you." He took a deep, purposeful breath. "I am yours, Renesmee Carlie Cullen. I'm yours, and you are mine."


	6. On The Run

**Chapter Six: ****On The Run****  
><strong>

I always thought it'd be amazing to be one of those romance novel heroines with the dashing, cocky hero who sweeps you into his arms and proclaims to the world that _you_ belong to _him_. Who wouldn't like that? It's the ultimate female dream. And, honestly, it's a good one.

The reality of that particular situation, however, kind of sucks.

Therefore, when Jake made his little decree of ownership to the world, I'm not embarrassed to admit how I reacted. I did the one thing that I think most people with superhuman abilities would do if they found themselves in my position.

I ran.

Unfortunately, the main problem with this choice is that my family has superhuman abilities as well. In fact, their superhuman abilities are usually far superior to mine. My father, for example, can outrun me without breaking a sweat. _(Note: Vampires never sweat. Still, you get my point.) _Of course, I wasn't really worried about either one of my parents catching me right then. I was more concentrated on getting away from Jake. Now, _him_, I could outrun if I needed to.

And, boy, did I need to.

I made it across the South Dakota border before I could think about slowing down. I was somewhere in the middle of Wyoming before I actually managed to stop my feet. I'm pretty sure I passed over one of the Grand Tetons because I recall seeing a blur of snow on the ground for a little while. Off in the distance behind me, I could see the great, blue mountain range. I ignored it in favor of leaning against a nearby bolder. My breath was coming out in great, heaving gasps, but I didn't focus on that. I could only focus on one thing.

_I am yours, Renesmee Carlie Cullen. I'm yours, and you are mine._

The large amount of emotions Jacob had raised out of me with those two little sentences was scary. I was angry, frightened, frustrated, confused, weirdly happy _(Don't ask me why),_ content _(Yep, not touching the why on that one either_), insecure, betrayed, and—in case you missed it—angry. And, if that wasn't bad enough, the main emotions I'd been overwhelmed with at the time of Jake's little proclamation were desire and lust. Believe it or not, that was not something I was pleased to admit—especially about a guy I used to look at almost like an older brother.

My breathing slowly calmed, and I climbed on top of the bolder, sitting Indian style. I tried to process everything, but it was a jumbled mess. _How could this happen? How could Jake imprint on _me_?_ I'm not a werewolf, much less a member of his tribe. Being a half-vampire, I wasn't even sure I_ could_ bear children. (_It's not like there are a lot of us half-vampires out there to find out.)_ Now, I was supposed to have babies with Jacob? I was supposed to be in love with him? And, he was supposed to be in love with me? Worse, this love didn't result from the usual, old-fashioned, romantic courtship, but because some force of nature just randomly selected us to feel that way?

I recalled the mystifying force of the pull I'd experienced whenever I was near him. Imprinting certainly explained that. _Does he feel it too?_ I replayed all of the words he'd said to me in my mind.

_The tie between the pair goes both ways, but it's felt strongest by the wolf._

He'd experienced our connection so strongly that he hadn't even been able to kill me, the person who he'd believed had murdered his best friend. My anger at him dimmed. Jacob hadn't had a choice in this weird Mother Nature matchmaking session either. I couldn't really be mad at him anymore.

I sighed. None of this was fair. I didn't want to be in love this way. I'd always imagined that, when or if it happened, it would be more along the lines of Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth Bennett from _Pride and Prejudice_ or Anne Shirley and Gilbert Blythe from _Anne of Green Gables_. I'd always loved those relationships because the couples had the witty banter and furious flirtations before their final acceptance of true love. That's certainly what had happened with my parents. I'd hoped to one day feel true love's exhilaration and promise for myself. I'd always imagined I'd meet some handsome stranger while away at college or while working at my first law firm.

Instead, I was suddenly chained for eternity to Jacob Black and I wasn't even out of high school yet. Honestly, I felt like the punch line of a redneck joke.

Not that I thought badly of Jake. He's my best friend. He's kind, generous, funny, and clever. _Not to mention extremely sexy without his shirt on._ That reckless thought flittered across my brain before I could squelch it. This desire thing was getting out of hand. I'd never experienced anything like it before, and it was like the mythical Pandora's Box. Now that it was open, it was causing me all kinds of problems. I needed to get better control over it before I ended up with more trouble.

I shook my head to clear it and pushed myself to ponder Jake's other non-physical attributes. He was fiercely loyal and protective of me. Although, I swiftly deduced, maybe those last two things had more to do with the imprinting connection between the two of us than it did with Jake himself.

There were no two ways about it. This imprinting thing was just a big mess. I wondered if there was a way to sever the connection. I remembered learning about the imprinting of baby ducks with their mother. It was important for the ducklings to see the mama duck because once the babies imprinted, it was a done deal. I groaned and shut my eyes.

_Don't I have any say in this?_ _Don't _I_ get to decide who to love?_ Like blinders had been raised from my eyes, I was now vastly aware of the many decisions in my life that had been made for me. My frustration grew. I was a half-vampire, I was immortal, I had all these powers, and I was pledged to a werewolf, who I was supposed to have children with. I groaned. Was there even anything left for me to choose in my own life or was I just stuck in an eternal prison of someone else's making?

I hopped off the boulder and began to frantically pace in front of it. _No, it can't be this way. This isn't the end. _I'm strong enough to rip a pine tree out of the ground. I'm a master of hand-to-hand combat. (_Thanks, Uncle Jasper!)_ I can outrun humans and werewolves. I can shoot a target from well over 100 paces. (_Thanks, Grandpa Charlie!)_ I have memories starting back from when I was only four-months-old, and I can hold my breath under water for up to fifteen minutes. I can do all of these amazing things. I'm a powerful being. There must be a way I could overpower the imprinting.

How exactly I was supposed to accomplish that, however, completely escaped me.

Suddenly, I tensed. I felt the presence before I saw anyone. My body went automatically into fight mode. The scent gave the person's identity away long before my eyes could register a face. It was a smell I'd always loved more than any other. I immediately relaxed and straightened before the blur came to a stop in front of me.

"Hi, Mom," I said.

Isabella Marie Swan Cullen pushed her long, brown hair back over her shoulder and surveyed me with a mixture of anxiety, relief, and irritation. It was the child-humbling kind of look only your mother can master. "You shouldn't have run off like that," she said. "It took everything I had to get your father and Jake to stay behind while I came to look for you."

"I'm sorry. I needed to be by myself," I explained.

"Are you all right?"

I pulled myself back to sit on the boulder and looked at her. She'd somehow managed to rip the blue cardigan she was wearing over her white t-shirt. Alice wasn't going to be happy about that. Mom's blue jeans and sneakers made her look like a youth fresh out of high school. In fact, everything about her yelled _teenager_. Until you gazed into her eyes, that is. Then, she looked every one of her twenty-six years in age—older even.

"No," I answered, truthfully. "I'm not all right. I'm screwed up. Why didn't you all tell me about this imprinting thing from the beginning?"

If Mom had been human, I swear she'd have been blushing right now. Her expression seemed almost sheepish. "That's my fault."

"How?"

"I wouldn't let anyone tell you. Partly because I was afraid it would mean you'd be forced to grow up too soon. Your father and I wanted you to have a real childhood—or as real as we could give you under the circumstances."

I considered what it would have been like growing up with the knowledge that I belonged to Jacob. How would it have changed me? Would I have always felt as confined as I did right now or would I have just blithely accepted it the way I'd always accepted everything else?

"Plus," Mom continued, "I didn't want to share you—even with Jake. Edward and I only got seven years or so to have you as our little baby, Renesmee. Parents usually get at least eighteen years." She walked over and leaned her body against the bolder and me. "Before I found out I was pregnant, I'd never really considered having a child of my own before. It wasn't part of any future plans I'd ever made. I'd grown up being the parent in my relationship with my mother. I felt like I'd done all the mothering I was supposed to do. But, the first time I felt you move inside me, it changed everything. I wanted you, more than I'd ever wanted anything in this world. I would have given anything, sacrificed everything to keep you with me. And I did." She smiled at me. "You were my little nudger. I loved you right from the start. You were mine, and I wanted to protect you."

I broke away from her golden gaze to stare into the darkening horizon. "I feel trapped. I should be able to choose who I love, shouldn't I? You did. Everyone in our family did. Why can't I?"

She sighed. "Renesmee, I'm not sure how you see love, but I wouldn't exactly call it a _choice_ for anyone. I didn't just meet Edward in class one day and decide to fall in love with him. It wasn't love at first sight for him either."

I knew the story well. My mother's human blood had smelled so delectable to my father the first day they'd met that it had taken every ounce of control he had not to drain her on the spot. In the vampire world, Mom was considered a "singer" for my father because her blood and scent seemed to croon a constant siren's song to him. The fact he'd managed to abstain from killing her that day as well as every day of the approximately two years they were together before she'd been turned vampire was even more amazing to me in that moment that it had ever been. Not only that, but he'd fallen in love with her, married her, and taken her on a real honeymoon—all without ever spilling a drop of her blood.

But, none of this knowledge made me feel any better about my own situation.

"What am I supposed to do now, Mom? Am I just supposed to marry Jacob? Is there no way around it?"

"You don't have to do anything you don't want to do."

"But, this imprinting, it makes me feel things whenever I'm around him. I don't have control over anything. It makes me want—" I stopped before I gave too much away. This was, after all, my _mom_ I was talking to.

"How did you feel about Jake before today?"

I contemplated that. "I thought he was wonderful. He's smart, more so than most people realize. Jacob's taught me so many things. He's always been so considerate, so fun and easy to be around. He makes me laugh when nobody else can. He's always been the best part of my world."

"Do you love him?"

"Yes, b-b-but not like _love_ love him. More like you might love a friend or a cousin." I took a deep breath and plunged ahead with something I'd been too afraid to even think about. "Besides, he loved you before the imprinting. This isn't fair for him either. What if, deep down, he still would rather be with you but he can't because of this weird connection he and I share?"

Mom laughed. I looked at her like she'd grown another head. _She thought this was funny?_

"Renesmee, Jacob and I were never star-crossed lovers," she chided. "I'm not sure how you worked this out in your head, but it wasn't like that. He was there for me at a time when I desperately needed someone. For him, I think I was a crush, a fantasy of what he thought he wanted for the future. He and I were always supposed to be important in each other's lives, of course. That will never change. But, that's the depth of it. Honestly, honey, we're much happier with the way things turned out. I loved Jacob. I did. But, I love your father in a way that far surpasses anything I ever felt for Jake. It's the kind of love that only comes around once. Jacob deserves that, and I could never have given it to him. He knows that."

"But, what about Jacob's feelings for you?"

"You'll have to ask him that question. But, I think you'll be surprised by the answer. After all, he's had seven years to figure this whole thing out."

"Seven years? He imprinted on me when I was a baby. Wasn't he in love from the second he laid eyes on me?"

Mom shook her head. "Jake once explained it to me. He's always been whatever you needed from him at any given time. If you needed a protector, he was a protector. If you needed a friend, he was that friend. If you were down, he was there to pull you up. But, as far as I know, that's as much as this connection has ever gone. His personal feelings for you were of his own making."

"So, he doesn't love me?"

Mom took an unnecessary breath. "There's only one way you're going to know for sure, honey. You know what you have to do, correct?"

I nodded, aware she was right. I hated to admit it, but it was the only way to even begin to get this sordid mess sorted out. The time for running away from my problems was over. I wasn't a child anymore. Besides, I'd never been a coward. How could I start being one now? You'd think that realization would have immediately made me feel better. It didn't, though. However, it also didn't sway me from my resolve to accomplish what I had to do. I hopped off the boulder and asked Mom if she was ready to go home. She smiled at me and nodded. As we ran back to Castlewood, South Dakota, I kept my mind focused on one thing.

It was time for a very private conversation with Jacob Black.


	7. Private Conversations

**Chapter Seven: ****Private Conversations**

As we reached the outskirts of our property, my mother pulled us both to an abrupt stop.

"What?" I asked, instinctively scanning for danger. I inhaled deeply through my nose, but didn't catch the scent of anything unusual.

"Don't come in the house. Go straight to the garage. I'll send Jacob out to you. You two need to talk, but it shouldn't happen here. Take one of the cars and go far enough away so you can have privacy. If I know your father, he won't be able to stop himself from interfering. Not to mention what everyone else will do."

I hadn't even considered my family's reactions. "Are they freaking out about this, too?"

The light from the half moon above us made Mom's face glow in the night. "Everyone accepted the you-and-Jacob-link a long time ago when he first came to live with us. But vampires are infinitely curious creatures. You know this. They also have very sensitive hearing. As much as I love the Cullens, they won't be able to resist being nosy—especially where you're concerned."

I nodded, understanding how right she was. I was grateful that while I'd been considering all the questions I had for Jacob, she was figuring out a way to assure us the privacy we would need for the conversation. And what a conversation it was going to be. I inhaled and straightened my shoulders. Having a clear next step made me feel empowered. I was going to work this crazy situation out, somehow. I could do it. I told her so.

She reached up to caress my cheek. "I know it's a cliché for me to say, but you grew up so fast, little nudger. You're an adult now, and I know you'll always make me and your father proud."

My love for her swelled within me. I threw myself into her arms, hugging her to me as hard as I could. "Love you, Mom," I mumbled against her shoulder. I shivered a little due to the chilly wind blowing around us as well as the fact that my mother's vampire body temperature is cooler in comparison to my own. In this weather, it was almost like hugging a melted popsicle, but I was used to it.

Mom held me, softly rubbing her hand again and again over the cascade of hair down my back. "I love you too, Renesmee. We all do."

She pulled back to look at me, a serious expression on her face. "Remember: You get to decide your future. Not some magical werewolf imprinting."

I nodded as a tear escaped and slid down my cheek. She captured it with her fingertip and stared at the wetness in her hand. "Sometimes, I really miss being able to do that," she said.

Mom slipped back, preparing to take off for the house. She turned to look over her shoulder at me. "Don't be out too late. I know it's a Friday, but your Aunt Alice is serious about wanting to go shopping for that Winter Formal dress. I think I've talked her out of taking you to New York, but you know how she can be."

In a second, she was gone. With the chaos of everything, I'd forgotten about Derek Martin and the dance. I briefly wondered if any of the actions and emotions of the last two days would have happened if I had simply turned down the blond quarterback. Just as quickly, I decided it didn't matter. The imprinting had been in place for over seven years. Sooner or later, something would have set it off. Did I want to go to the dance with Derek anymore? Was going to it even something I could still do? Mom's words came back to me just as quickly.

_You get to decide your future._

_Yeah_, I thought. _And, from now on, that's exactly what I'm going to do–connection or no connection._

I jogged toward the garage, zipping up the jean jacket I still had on from earlier to combat the cold. The lights in the garage flickered on and I knew he was in there. The invisible, emotional thread between the two of us tightened as I got nearer. I stepped inside. Jacob was leaning against the driver's door of his burnt orange '72 Nova, a car he'd bought and rebuilt a few years back. He looked tired and tormented, but still happy to see me. My feet ached to rush toward him. Whether this was because of the connection or because I was just worried about my best friend, I didn't know. I stopped a little distance from him.

"Are you all right?" he asked, his eyes seeming to try to absorb everything about me.

I shuddered as the heavy blast of feelings hit me, but I was more prepared to deal with them this time. "Yes," I answered. "We should go. I don't know how long Mom will be able to keep them from coming out here."

He nodded and stood up like he was going to walk around to open the passenger side door for me. I waved him off and did it myself. When he got in his side of the car, I felt our connection strengthen. It was like an electric cable had just been energized. Hearing the engine roar to life a second later made that image more real for me. I ignored it as best I could and concentrated on looking out the window to what I could see of the inky darkness of the landscape outside.

We both reached down to turn the heater on at the same time. Our fingers brushed and I pulled away first, like I'd been burned. As a werewolf, Jacob's body temperature runs hotter than mine. But, I'd never been more aware of that than at this moment. I said nothing and crossed my hands over my chest, tucking my still-tingling fingers under my arms. Without a word, Jake adjusted the heater dial and drove down the driveway.

We made it out of town before the silence between us was broken.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"We're almost there."

A few minutes later, we pulled up to a wide, white building outside of town called Williams Paint & Body. Jake had been working there ever since we'd moved to Castlewood over two years ago. The self-taught automotive repair skills he'd used in his teens had easily translated into a steady career for him. As our family moved fairly often, this meant he could find work anywhere we went.

He'd dropped out of high school, but had earned his GED and taken some college courses along the way to expand his knowledge in this field. After a few years, his vast mechanical aptitude had naturally spilled over into the area of restoring cars to their former glory. Jake had once told me that he enjoyed the challenge of reviving an old, junk car to mint condition with his own two hands. He said it was almost like uncovering buried treasure. His boss, Mr. Williams, was thrilled to discover a man with Jacob's talents. After all, word had spread of Jake's expertise and people came from all over to have him work on their vehicles. Mr. Williams had more than once threatened to retire and leave the running of the shop completely to Jake. Every time he said that, however, Jacob only rolled his eyes, told him to stop being ridiculous, and went back to work.

I wondered fleetingly if Jacob had ever wanted to stay in one place and have his own shop. He could certainly do it. He'd probably make a lot of money. Was the imprinting preventing him from doing that? I suddenly felt a little guilty. Even though I hadn't been responsible for putting this connection between me and Jake, I was still one of the reasons he wasn't living his own life.

I watched him shut off the engine and slip out of the car. Within a few minutes, he'd unlocked the garage and was raising the first bay door. He returned and drove us inside. The bay area was empty except for an old blue Thunderbird in one of the lifts. After we'd slowly rolled inside, he cut the engine and got out again to close the bay door behind us.

The silence inside the garage was deafening. He walked over to my side of the car and opened the door for me. I got out. The hum between us ratcheted up a notch as I accidentally brushed past his arm. I closed my eyes to gain control of myself. I grew worried about being all alone with Jacob. What if I wasn't able to restrain this feeling and something happened between us? I looked over at my partner in this emotional hurricane, but he seemed calm and unworried. Maybe having seven years experience with this had given him a measure of control that I could learn to harness myself in time. I felt a little better, but moved to put some needed distance between us anyway.

"There's a chair behind you against the wall. If you want it," Jake said, watching me. His expression seemed slightly amused, but I didn't know what to make of that. _How is any of this funny? _I mutely shook my head at his suggestion.

"Are you warm enough? I could turn on the heater," he offered.

I crossed my arms over my chest again. "I'm fine. Let's get this over with."

Jacob's eyebrow arched at my curt tone. He leaned a hip against his car, crossing his own muscled arms over his broad chest. "I've pretty much said everything I need to. But, if I know you—and I do—you have a million questions. So, fire away, Nessie."

I flinched against the onslaught of desire that hit me. His words were a challenge and caress all in one. It made it hard for me to think. I hated my lack of restraint. I looked at him, fighting against this. "Can this imprinting thing be undone?"

His face tightened and I saw the muscles in his shoulders flex under his t-shirt. But, he didn't look away from me. "No."

I suddenly needed that chair behind me desperately. I fumbled for it, waving him off when he stepped forward to help me. I plopped down into it and took several deep breaths. _It can't be undone? I'm stuck like this? There's no choice? Ever? No! _I was freaking out again.

His deep voice echoed throughout the garage. "Nessie, listen to me. It's going to be OK." It's amazing how quickly his words could soothe me. It was like he'd been given Jasper's power or something. Unwillingly, I felt my quickened pulse starting to regulate and the clinched muscles around my neck and shoulders begin to loosen. The calm flowing through me allowed me to think clearly once more.

I looked up at him again. Jacob was less than a foot from me, his expression one of concern and anguish. His hands were outstretched, like he wanted to touch me but was afraid it would only upset me more. He finally allowed them to drop, but they stayed fisted at his sides. I knew instinctively that he'd somehow been feeling the myriad of emotions I'd just been feeling. I sighed. The realization of how unfair this connection was to both of us replayed in my mind. If this was a prison, then Jacob was my cellmate. I felt defeated and unsure of anything anymore.

I took a deep breath and asked the only question I could think to ask. "So, what are we supposed to do now?"


	8. Chemistry

**Chapter Eight: Chemistry**

"What are we supposed to do now?"

My question hung out there between us for a while.

Jacob's eyes softened as he looked at me. His voice was husky and sensual. "Whatever you want to do."

I gasped, unsure of the meaning behind his words. "I-I-I-" I began.

"Relax, Nessie. Nothing is going to happen between us unless you want it to."

I watched him shove his fisted hands into the pockets of his jeans as he turned away from me. I remembered my mother saying that Jake would be whatever I most needed him to be. I suppose this is what she was talking about. As much as I wasn't thrilled with the idea of my love life being decided for me, I hated that Jacob was pretty much forced to be subservient to whatever my wants and needs were. What about his wants and needs? It seemed like he had less of a choice here than I did. _Who came up with this imprinting thing in the first place?_ (They seriously needed their butts kicked.)

"What do _you_ want?" I asked.

"I want you to be happy," he said without looking back at me.

He walked over to his car and quickly pulled himself up to sit on the hood. His large hands were resting on his knees. Even from my chair I could see the scars and calluses on them. I momentarily wondered what it would be like to be caressed by those hands, like a lover. The image came upon me so vividly that I had to close my eyes against the tide of passion it generated.

"Nessie," he groaned. "I'm not sure what you're doing over there, but you should cut it out. My willpower is only so strong."

My eyes popped open. His hands were fisted again and sitting in his lap. I glanced up at his face in shock. "Can you read my mind? Is that how this imprinting works?" The implications of that made the rising heat of a blush blaze in my cheeks._ Oh. My. God. _

"No," he answered with an all-male grin. "But any strong emotions you have, I definitely pick up on those."

My face fell into my hands as my mortification was complete.

"It's OK. You're a grown woman now. It's perfectly natural for you to feel this way."

"Because of the imprinting," I ground out, keeping my head down.

"Partly, but some of it's how you really feel. The imprinting only plants a seed. How the seed matures and blossoms is up to the individual."

This made me look at him. I glared. "If that's so, then why wasn't I lusting after you two days ago?"

He chuckled. "You weren't ready. You hadn't physically or mentally matured enough to handle it yet." He shrugged. "Now you have."

His amusement at my expense only made me angry. "If you don't stop laughing at me, Jacob Black, I'm going to hurl the nearest tool I can find at your big head," I threatened.

Jake held up his hands in mock surrender. "I'm not laughing at you. I'm just happy."

"Happy?" I echoed in confusion.

"Yes. You were so frightened before and confused. I was worried you might be too afraid by all of this to even look at me, much less talk to me. The fact that you're 'lusting' after me is a big step forward in my book."

"Oh, God," I moaned in humiliation, covering my face again with my hands.

"If you keep doing that, we're going to be here all night. Not that I mind, but Edward isn't going to be too pleased about it." I heard him snicker softly to himself. "Of course, he isn't too pleased to begin with."

I jumped to my feet, needing to pace. "Please don't bring Dad into this. I can't think about him right now. It's bad enough as it is."

"How is it bad, Nessie? Does it feel bad between us?"

That stopped me short. "No, it feels weird! You're not just some random cute guy I want to date. You're Jacob. My Jacob! You're my best friend, my confidant, my defender, my . . . my everything."

"Can't that _everything_ include love?"

"Not if it's based on some Mother Nature Vodoo magic. No!" He opened his mouth to speak, but I beat him to it. "And what about Mom?'

His brow quirked at this. "What about Bella?"

"Don't you think you'd still be in love with her if it wasn't for the imprinting? How can I love a guy who secretly wants to be with my mother? How sick is that?"

That propelled him off the hood of his car. He stalked over to me and put his hands on my shoulders. "Renesmee Cullen, listen up. I don't love your mother. Not like that. I will admit there was a time when I wanted her, but that was long ago. She belongs with Edward. Anyone with half a brain can see that."

"But if it wasn't for the imprinting—"

"She still would've been with Edward, and I still would've let her go. Eventually, I would've started over with someone else. _That_ I can promise you."

I sighed, hating how I'd once again taken away his choices. "And, instead, you got me."

He smiled like he didn't seem to mind and stroked my cheek. "Yeah, I got you."

His touch made me feel safe, loved, and content. I didn't trust it for a second. "Are you in love with me?" I looked up at him, trying to gauge his answer. I wanted to know if he was going to lie.

"Yes," he murmured.

My heart swelled at his words, but I tried to disregard it. He wasn't lying. I was positive about that, but I still couldn't let myself completely believe it. "Are you sure it isn't just the imprinting thing talking? How could you have been in love with me when I was a baby? The whole concept is ridiculous."

Jake shook his head and laughed again. "It doesn't work that way. I loved you from the second I saw you, of course, but more in a platonic way. The way I feel now isn't anything like that." He exhaled heavily. "Nessie, I'm desperately in love with you—have been for over a year now."

A woman doesn't hear words like that and not react. I'm no different. Everything inside me softened as I beamed at him. The connection between us became so strong it felt like it was glowing. I ignored it in favor of reaching up to cup Jacob's face in my hands.

In that moment, I didn't care about connections, imprinting, or anything else. When a man tells you something wonderful like what Jacob just told me, there's only one thing a woman can do.

I kissed him.

His surprise lasted about a heartbeat before he took charge of the situation. As I'd never kissed anyone before, this was something for which I was extremely grateful. My hands fell to his thick shoulders as he clasped the back of my neck and angled my head to the side to better receive his kiss. Again and again, his lips rubbed deliciously against mine as his other arm snaked around my waist to pull me closer. Jake deepened the kiss, taking my bottom lip between his own. I whimpered as his tongue lightly traced the edges of my mouth in a warm, wet caress. I pushed my own tongue out gingerly. He opened his mouth and lightly sucked my tongue inside to tango with his.

Way before I was ready, Jacob groaned and pulled us apart. He pushed me arm's length away from him, released me, and started backing towards his car. I blinked for a few minutes, trying to remember my name. All I could process for certain was that I was pretty confident that if the Guinness Book of World Records had an entry for best first kiss, Jacob and I would have taken top prize.

As my head finally cleared of the residual passion and lust, I sat back down in my chair and tried to think. I'd had a problem with all of this imprinting business. It was just going to take me a minute to remember what it was.

"I think we can cross chemistry off our list of potential relationship problems," he huskily said from the hood of his car.

I groaned and let my head fall back against the wall of the garage with a loud _thump_. My earlier issue was slowly resurfacing. "You're in love with me, Jacob. But, I don't know that I'm in love with you."

"Don't you?" he countered, watching me.

"I've spent my whole life thinking of you as one way and then, yesterday, all of that suddenly changes. I'd just decided to go on a date with on Derek Martin and now I'm in a garage kissing my best friend. I think things are going a little too fast for me to be able to figure out anything about my feelings right now."

He smiled. "I'll give you all the time you need."

"But, what if I don't fall in love with you? What if chemistry and imprinting is all we have? What then?"

"Every other imprinted couple I've seen have been blissfully happy together. I don't see why it would be any different between us."

Jacob's self-satisfied grin began to irritate me. He wasn't taking this as seriously as I was. I had a genuine concern here, and he was just blowing it off. Well, I was glad he could be so confident and self-assured about all this, but one of us needed to be the voice of reason. There was a legitimate chance I was not going to fall in love with him, and he needed to recognize and accept that. I tried to think of something to say to gain his full attention in this matter.

"What if I want to date someone else?"

That sure smacked the smile right off his face, believe me.


	9. The Rules of Ownership

**Chapter Nine: The Rules of Ownership**

Note: If an imprinted werewolf declares his love for you one night in a quiet garage, it's a bad idea to introduce the concept of dating other people.

Jacob zoomed off his car and was leaning over my chair in three seconds flat. His speed was pretty remarkable seeing as how he can usually only run super fast when he's in wolf form. But, I didn't think now was a good time to mention that. He looked mad enough as it was.

"What did you say?" he growled.

Since I'd opened this can of worms—as Charlie was apt to say—the only thing I could do was go fishing. Besides, I was glad to have Jacob finally taking my concerns seriously. So, I plowed ahead. "I asked what would happen if I wanted to date someone else."

He stared at me so long, it felt like he was trying to hypnotize me or something. "You won't."

I waited for him to elaborate, but he didn't. "That's it? That's all you're going to say to me?_ I won't_? How do you know?"

"Because you're mine."

Note : If a woman tells you she's not sure about her feelings and suggests possibly seeing other people, claiming ownership of her like you're some kind of caveman is only going to make things worse.

I shot to my feet. He automatically jumped back and starting backing up as I angrily bore down on him. Jake seemed to remember that he was about twice my size then and abruptly stopped retreating. He was actually glaring back at me like _he_ was the injured party. That sent me over the edge.

I thrust my index finger repeatedly into his hard, muscled chest. _(Yes, I noticed how muscled it was. It didn't deflate my anger one bit, though.) _"Listen here, Jacob Black. Just because you imprinted on me two minutes after I was born doesn't mean you own me."

Ignoring my finger, he crossed his arms over his chest. "Yeah, it does."

"No, it doesn't._ I_ get to choose who to love. Me! Not Mother Nature, not my family, and certainly not you!" I took a deep breath and tried to regain a reasonable tone. It was somewhat working. "I know you say you're in love with me, and I don't want to hurt you. But you've had seven years to work out this whole imprinting mess in your head. I've had seven minutes. I'm not just going to roll over and let someone else decide major things in my life. There might have been a time when I would have, but that time has passed."

I thrust the finger at my own chest now. "My life, my choice! I bet, if you thought it through, you'd realize you didn't really love me. You're just following the siren's call of the imprinting. If that's what you want to do, it's your decision. But I can't do that."

Jacob let out a sigh like he had to invoke the patience of a saint. "I fell in love with you because of _you_. You're funny and sweet and honest and loving and smart and beautiful—not to mention one of the most stubborn women I have ever known."

I raised an irritated eyebrow at that last one, but he ignored me.

"Nessie, you tell the truth when others will lie. You ask questions nobody else can think to ask. You're kind and generous—not because you're getting something out of it, but because it's just who you are. You're not afraid to admit when you don't know something or when you're scared. You're devoted to your family and love more fully than anyone I've ever met. Who wouldn't fall for you? And, imprinting or no imprinting, _I'm_ in love with you."

The urge to kiss him hit me again, but I held back this time. I needed to be able to think. "I adore you, Jacob. I always have. You're all those things you just said about me and so much more. But, I've never been in love before and the imprinting is making me feel a host of emotions I don't even know how to begin deal with. It's got me so confused that I can't tell up from down. I don't know which of these feelings are mine and which are the result of the connection between us. "

He opened his mouth to argue, but I placed my hand against his cheek and used my unique gift to show him what I was talking about. Suddenly, he could mentally see all the things I'd seen and felt in the last few days. He could feel everything I'd felt. Not just the big emotions, but all of it. He flinched against the intensity of everything I was pouring into him, but didn't pull away. Within a few minutes, I'd shared it all with him. My hand dropped back down to hang by my waist.

"Jake, I'm going to need some time to figure this out. And, I'm going to need you to understand that, at the end of all this, I might realize I'm not in love with you. I don't want to hurt you. I just want you to be prepared."

He staggered back from me, seeming to try to absorb everything. When he finally looked over at me, I could see the anger in his expression had melted into resigned acceptance. I wondered briefly if he was doing that because he loved me or because of the imprinting.

"How much time do you need?" he asked.

"I'm not sure. I feel like I have to get to know you again. You know," I said, waving a hand between us, "like an adult . . . romantically."

He nodded. "You mean we should date? We can do that."

"OK." Actually, I hadn't meant that. But, now that he'd said it, it sounded like a good plan. After all, that's how regular people fell in love, wasn't it?

"And I'm still going to the Winter Formal with Derek."

His jaw tightened. "And why is that?" he asked, his voice whisper soft.

"Because I already promised him I'd go, and because it's a good opportunity for me to see what dating another guy is like. Before tonight, I'd never even kissed anyone, much less been out on a real date. I'm half-human too, Jacob, and I'm a senior in high school. I'd like to get a little human experience under my belt before I start making major life decisions. That's how it's supposed to be."

He exhaled sharply, but didn't argue. "Fine. But, this can't go on forever, Nessie. Sooner or later, you're going to have to decide what you want."

I took a deep breath and asked a question I'd been fearing the answer to. "What will you do if I can't love you?"

A huge wave of sadness rippled through our connection. _Is that from me or him? Does this whole feeling big emotions deal work both ways?_ One look at Jake was enough to confirm that it was indeed coming from him. I immediately felt lower than the scum of the earth for putting him through all this torture.

"Jake, I—"

He held up a hand to stop me. "You do what you have to do, Nessie. I love you. Nothing will change that. But, if you can't love me back, I will let you go. I swear."

The power of his sorrow and grim resolve overtook me. Tears splashed down my cheeks. He wrapped me in his arms without another word. I clung to him, breathing in his woodsy scent and soaking the front of his t-shirt. He kissed the top of my head and gently rocked me back and forth in his warm embrace. In that second, there was nothing more in this world that I wanted than to be in love with him. _Who wouldn't?_ But, I knew it wasn't going to be that simple. This was going to take time, and I was going to have to give it that time.

"Nessie," he breathed against my hair.

I pulled back from him and looked up. "Yeah, Jake?"

He gently cupped my jaw, running the pad of his thumb over my wet cheek. "You might go out with Derek the quarterback. And, before this is over, I might have to give you up. But you're aware that, in the meantime, I'm going to fight like hell to make you mine, right?"

I smiled at him. "Of course."

He drew me back against his heated body. A few minutes passed before he spoke again. "Also, just so you know. . ."

I'd only begun to relax into his arms when his voice trailed off. I glanced up at him, waiting for him to finish. The cocky grin he had in place should have tipped me off that he was up to no good. In fact, when I had time to reflect on it later, I realized I shouldn't have been surprised by what he ended up saying. This was Jacob, after all. What else did I expect?

"Just so you know," he repeated, angling down to steal a quick, surprise kiss, "me agreeing to play the game doesn't mean I'm going to play by the rules."


	10. Ready?

**Chapter Ten: Ready?**

Waking up early on a Saturday morning is hard enough. Being awakened by my overexcited, pixie-sized Aunt Alice on a Saturday morning is torture.

"Out of bed, sleepyhead!" she sing-songed in that ethereally beautiful voice of hers.

"Go away," I groaned and flipped over. I held a pillow over my head, hoping she'd get the message to leave so I could drift back off to sleep.

The pillow disappeared a second later, replaced with Alice's pale face shining into mine. "Dresses don't buy themselves, Cinderella. And, if you want to be the most beautiful belle at the ball, we've got to hit the road."

I sat up in bed, glaring sleepily at my torturer. Alice was now sitting Indian style across from me, looking joyful and unrepentant.

"Alice, what are you doing?" Mom asked, sticking her head in the room. She'd obviously just been walking down the hall and had probably noticed that my usually closed bedroom door was now open.

"Bella, I've been patient long enough. I let her sleep for five whole hours, didn't I? It was agony, believe me." Alice sounded like a kid who couldn't wait to open presents on Christmas morning.

I rubbed the grit from my eyes and widened my glare to include both Alice and my mother. My plan of going back to sleep was fast becoming a pipe dream. You see, the main problem here is that vampires don't sleep._ Ever._ And, since it's been years since either of the women in front of me have been human enough to enjoy the rewards of a good night's rest, I could tell I was going to get very little sympathy from them on this. Growing up, I'm pretty sure I was the only kid who had to remind her family to let her sleep when it came to bedtime.

"What's going on in here?"

I moaned and fell back into the bed, pulling my other pillow over my face. _Great! Now my father too? _My dream of going back to sleep was officially dashed.

Alice decided to answer her brother's question. "I'm trying to wake up your comatose daughter so we can go dress shopping."

"Dress shopping? For what?" my father asked.

"Her big da-ate," Alice was singing her sentences again. I threw the pillow in her general direction. She easily dodged it and giggled.

I sat up again, pushing snarls of copper curls out of my eyes. "I'm up. Is everybody happy? Now, can you people get out of here so I can get dressed?"

Dad, however, wasn't having it. "What date?" he pressed.

"The Winter Formal," I answered, pushing back my covers and swinging my legs over the side so I could get out of bed. "It's in two weeks."

"It's barely enough time to find something appropriate," Alice chided, like it was _my_ fault I'd been asked to go only two days ago.

"Is Jacob taking you?"

I'd never heard my father sound so annoyed before. I hadn't explained about me and Jacob to anyone yet. After all, it'd been really late when we got back last night and I'd been so beat I went straight to bed. I supposed it would be a good idea to let my family know where everything stood. It made sense. The anger I could feel pouring off my father towards Jacob, however, did not. It's not like Dad wasn't aware of the imprinting or the fact that Jacob was in love with me. Dad could read minds, for Pete's sake. He always knew stuff way before everyone else. Why overreact now? I knew he and I were due for a long, drawn out, father-daughter conversation about this, but I just wasn't up to it yet. So, I settled for something short and sweet.

"Jacob and I are going to start dating, Dad. We're going to try to see where this thing between us is headed. I'm not on board with all the imprinting mumbo jumbo, but I'm willing to wait and discover what my feelings for Jacob really are. Dating will help us get to know each other in that way. I know you probably don't like it, but it's just the way it is. I'm sorry."

The silence in the room said a lot.

He took a deep breath. "So, Jacob is taking you to this Winter Formal thing?"

"No," I answered. "I already told you. Derek Martin is."

Dad and Mom frowned at me. Alice, however, kept smiling. "Derek's really cute, Nessie. Then again, I've always been partial to blonds. Oh, make sure you tell him to rent his tux early. Otherwise, he's going to end up wearing this horrific white suit with tails and a blue cummerbund which will clash with your dress. With all the trouble I'm going to here, I really don't want your Formal pictures messed up."

"You and Jacob are dating, but this Derek guy is taking you to the dance?" My father seemed flabbergasted.

"Yes."

Dad immediately brightened. In fact, he looked . . . amused, which was odd. A small grin widened across his mouth as he asked, "And how does Jacob feel about this?"

I shrugged, confused by his reaction. "Jake's not thrilled, but he understands my reasons. I promised Derek I'd go. Besides, how can I be sure if Jacob is the one for me if he's the only one I've ever been out with? "

My father doubled over laughing. Mom scowled at him and me. "Renesmee, are you _sure_ Jacob's OK with you seeing other people?"

"Yeah," I answered, now more confused. "We talked about it last night."

Dad's guffaws grew louder and louder until my mother grabbed him and began pulling him out the door. "We'll talk to you later, honey," Mom said. "Have fun dress shopping with Alice. Alice, don't be back too late."

I knew she and my father were probably going to talk to Jacob. I hoped they'd stop acting bizarre first. _How is any of this funny? _I turned back to Alice, who was now in my closet selecting an ensemble for me to wear.

"Parents are weird, Aunt Alice," I muttered, plopping down on my bed.

Without a word, she zoomed back over to me, her hands full of a baby pink camisole top, brown slacks and a white cashmere sweater. I looked down at them and then over to her. "How about jeans and a t-shirt?" I countered.

"You wear that every day. Today is special."

"But, I'm a simple girl and—"

"You're too much like your mother. _That's_ what you are. But, since I already know I'm going to get my way on this, you might as well give in. C'mon, Nessie. Hurry up! We've got to find the perfect Winter Formal gown for you," she said, laying the clothes out carefully on the bed before blurring over to the closet to choose a pair of shoes for me. As I had enough people to argue with at the moment, I rolled my eyes and began to get dressed.

"Aunt Alice, since you've seen that I'm going to the dance as well as what my date is wearing, then you already know what dress I'm going to have on. Why don't you save me all of this drama and just go buy it yourself?"

Alice plunked a pair of brown heels on the floor in front of me. "Finding the dress is half the fun, missy," she explained. She took the cashmere sweater off the bed and held it out so I could slip my arms into it. "Seeing what it looks like on you in the future isn't the same as seeing it on you in person."

I nodded as something interesting occurred to me. _Alice can see the future. That means . . ._ "Aunt Alice, who do you see me ending up with in the future? Is it Jacob?"

Alice put her hands on her hips. "I wish I could tell you. But, you know werewolves make everything I see in the future disappear the second they become involved in it. Besides, with you being a half-vampire who is almost constantly around Jacob, you've always been a difficult read for me. I'm pretty sure the only reason I saw you going to the Winter Formal with Derek is because he's human and Jacob isn't anywhere around."

I sighed and sat back down on the bed. She was right. I knew better. I should've known it wasn't going to be that easy. Between my half-vampire condition making her visions of me blurry at best and Jacob's werewolf status making her visions of him non-existent, she wasn't going to be very helpful in aiding me in making future decisions. I took a deep breath. I guess, for better or for worse, this whole thing really _is_ up to me.

I slipped my feet into the brown heels and stood up just as Alice handed me my purse.

"Ready?" she asked.

Her question felt like she wasn't just asking me if I was ready to go out, but also if I was ready for this crazy roller coaster ride my life was no doubt going to be until I got things worked out. _Was I ready? Really? _It only took me a minute to figure out the answer. I smiled at her and took my purse, slinging it over my shoulder.

"Sure," I said. "Let's go."


	11. The Courtship of Renesmee Cullen

**Chapter Eleven: The Courtship of Renesmee Cullen**

My first official date with Jacob took place the following Friday. I was grateful we'd waited a little while because my week had been crazy busy and my father had just been plain crazy.

I suppose a lot of Dad's ire had to do with the age-old "letting your little girl grow up" issue. It certainly made sense. Mom had told me plenty of times that Charlie hadn't exactly been over the moon when she and Dad started seeing each other either.

The situation was made worse because my father could read minds. I'd gotten better at controlling my lustful thoughts whenever Jake was around, but I admit I'd suffered a slip every now and then. (_I _am_ half-human, after all.)_ I could tell whenever my father had picked up on one of my lascivious thoughts, though, because he always flinched like something struck him and then stormed outside to take his frustration out on inanimate objects. _(On the upside: All the brush Esme had been wanting cleared away in the back yard finally got moved)_. The whole thing was embarrassing, but what could I do? It's not like it's possible to control your thoughts every minute of the day.

Then, there was Jacob himself. With all the heated looks he'd been giving me lately, you didn't have to be a telepath to know what _he_ was thinking. He was taking the whole not-playing-by-the-rules concept to a new level. One day while I was supposed to be in my room finishing my history paper on the French and Indian War, he even chopped wood outside my window in nothing but a pair of shorts. _(I'll admit I enjoyed watching him, but Jake still shouldn't have sunk that low). _Thankfully, he stayed gone on some "secret work" later in the week, so the chopping wood scenario wasn't repeated. On top of all this drama, Emmett wouldn't stop sneaking in double entendres about "the wolf's" intentions towards me. _(Honestly, how many Red Riding Hood jokes can one vampire make?)_ It was enough to send Dad nearly careening over the edge of insanity.

Not that I blamed Dad for his anger, really. But, again, what could be done about this? _Nothing._ Mom took things a little better and managed to keep Dad somewhat in line. Jasper was also very helpful on this score. Carlisle, Esme, and Rosalie hadn't had much to say about the matter. Instead, they seemed willing to wait and see how things turned out before offering their opinions on the subject of my love life. _(Something for which I'm extremely grateful)._

In other news, Alice and I did find the perfect gown for Winter Formal. It's the color of crystallized honey and made of satin with a delicate, antique lace overlay. The heart-shaped bodice is strapless—something I wasn't altogether comfortable with. But, since it came with the cutest little matching shrug to wear over it, I couldn't fuss too much. It cinches in around my waist and bells out to the ground. Honestly, I felt like Scarlett O'Hara the second I tried it on. Alice had insisted on purchasing these gold, strappy high heels to match. I was convinced I was going to fall and break my neck in them. Alice assured me she hadn't seen any such thing happen. Still, I decided to hedge my bets by practicing walking in them whenever I could.

Derek was as good as his word. He called me the Sunday after he'd asked me to the dance. He'd gotten my number out of the student directory, and we ended up talking on the phone for almost an hour. I found out he was originally from Chicago, but his father had moved the family here the beginning of the last school year in order to take a plant manager job at the fabric mill in nearby Watertown. I told him about my family as well (_leaving out the fact that we're supernatural beings, of course)_. Our conversation continued at school on Monday, where he presented me with a single red rose, which I found incredibly sweet. By the next day, Derek started joining me at my table for lunch. Emma, the only real friend I'd made at school up until now, had been a little taken back by this development. But, seeing as how Derek sitting with us now meant all the popular kids also ate lunch with us, she didn't seem too upset about it. (Personally, I've never cared about being popular or making a lot of friends. When you have to move around as much as my family does and you have the kind of secrets that we have, it's better to keep friendships with humans to a minimum.)

The good news was that, beneath the athletics and prince charming good looks, I found out that Derek worships the works of Dickens, loves fishing, collects antique trains, and frequently helps out at the local homeless shelter. It's true I wasn't overcome with passion whenever he sat near me or because our fingers accidentally brushed when we both reached for the salt, but he was still a genuinely nice guy. I enjoyed our time together. More importantly, I was excited he was going to be my date for the dance.

And, as I'd managed to both successfully avoid any accidental vampire dazzling towards Derek and scrape by with a C on my wreck of a public speech, I considered it a pretty good week. The fact that I was going out on my first ever date—with Jake or anyone else—was icing on the cake.

For the first time in my life, I actually asked Alice for advice on what I should wear. She and Rosalie closeted me in the bathroom right after I got home from school on Friday. When I finally emerged over two hours later, even I had to admit I looked fabulous.

I was dressed in a pair of black jeans and a lavender top, which was long-sleeved but had a square, attractive neckline. Rosalie had braided my hair down my back, weaving matching lavender ribbons in as she went. Curly wisps of hair framed my face and highlighted the little bit of makeup I'd allowed them to put on me _(When you're a half-vampire, you really don't need much). _The only selection I'd vetoed was the high-heeled black knee boots Alice had tried to talk me into putting on. There was no way I was going to traipsing around in those things all night. Not only would I probably kill myself, but as I wasn't sure where Jacob was taking me _(He refused to tell me)_, I thought it was safer to just wear my sneakers

I was downstairs by the time Jacob came to the door. He made a big deal about ringing the doorbell so I'd know he was taking this as a real, official date. He had to ring it twice more because my Dad and Emmett refused to get up and let him in. (Dad because he's Dad, and Emmett because he thought it was hilarious_). _Finally, Esme took pity on the both of us and opened the door. _(_Mom was too busy reminding Dad about his manners, Rosalie was doing her best to photographically document the occasion for her latest scrapbook about me, Alice and Jasper were watching everything like it was their own personal moviefest, and Carlisle hadn't come out of his study yet.)

Jacob was standing there holding a bouquet of daisies—my favorite flower. I smiled and thanked him, holding the blooms up to my nose to inhale their slight, sweet fragrance. Alice took them from me and promised to put them in water. I hugged and kissed everyone goodbye. (This included Carlisle when he finally came downstairs.) My father stayed furiously mute during the whole process. In fact, his only words to me when I went over to kiss him goodbye was to tell me not to stay out too late and to wear a jacket. I wasn't sure if he was trying to be pleasant because he didn't want to ruin this night for me or if Mom had threatened him with something. But I was too jazzed about my date to really care.

Jacob and I were out the door and in his Nova riding down the driveway within ten minutes. The excitement in the air was as easy to feel as the chilly wind swirling around. Next week was Halloween and the first snowfall was expected not long after that. I hoped that it would stay away long enough for the Winter Formal to still happen—and then immediately felt guilty because I was thinking about one date while I was on another. (_How do humans handle weird situations like this?)_ In any case, we'd made it out of Castlewood proper and were heading out of Hamlin County before I dared to ask again where we were going.

Jacob smiled over to me. "It's a surprise," he said. "You look beautiful tonight, by the way. I wanted to tell you earlier, but it didn't seem to be the right time."

I grimaced. "Yeah, sorry about Dad. I hope he snaps out of his mood soon."

"It's OK. Edward's been through a lot where you're concerned. I suppose I'd be the same way in his shoes."

The reminder that Jacob would have kids one day led to me thinking about how he wanted me to be the mother of these future offspring. "Jake? What if I can't have children? Have you thought about that? I'm half-vampire. It's certainly a possibility."

He took my hand in his, lacing our fingers together in a manner that made my heart slam like a trapped bird against my chest. "Nessie, I honestly don't care if we have kids or not. I just want you. But if you ever want any and we can't get them the old-fashioned way, we can always adopt."

My heart melted a little as I considered the idea. Me and Jacob as parents was a strange concept in the first place. Still, in my mind's eye, an image soon formed of a little boy and girl playing on a swing set with me and Jacob looking on, holding hands much like we were right now. Everything about that moment seemed so perfect to me that I almost felt like crying. With my free hand, I wiped away a stray tear. I pushed all of that emotion away and turned up the radio. Bob Seger was gruffly singing "Still the Same." I hummed along. Jacob was a big fan of classic rock, and as I'd practically been his shadow while I grew up, I knew all of the songs he liked by heart.

We pulled into this abandoned, grassy lot a little while later. It seemed to be some kind of old drive-in theater. The once glorious white movie screen was now ripped and mangled with age. Next to this stood a large brick building, which looked out of place because it had obviously been newly white-washed. From the beam of Jacob's headlights, I could see a dilapidated concession stand missing a door off in the distance. A nearby light pole gave off enough light for me to notice that the grass around the lot looked recently mowed and that the weeds were cleared around the building in front of us as well as a little blue clapboard structure behind us.

"What are we doing here?" I asked, curiosity heightening my excitement.

Jacob grinned at me and winked. "Wait and see."

He got out of the car and entered the blue building. Within a few minutes, a bright light shot out from it and hit the wide wall of the white building. I knew immediately what was happening. Somehow, Jacob had made it to so we had our own private drive-in movie show.

I clapped with glee as he came back to the car. Popping the trunk, he pulled out a basket of supplies and got back in the car. He rolled down his window and attached an old speaker so we had sound to go along with the movie.

"Is this what you've been doing all week?" I asked, shaking my head in amazement.

"What wouldn't I do for the woman I love?" he said, reaching into the basket to pull out bowls of popcorn and cans of soda.

"You've thought of everything."

He winked again. "A woman's first date should be perfect."

"It is." I leaned over to him, sliding my lips gently against his. I kissed him with everything I had. His mouth returned my eagerness with a passion that left me aching for things I didn't fully understand. Feeling my control slipping, I jerked back from him, my breaths coming out in heavy gasps. I was pleased to see he was in much the same condition.

I picked up my soda and popped the top. "So, what are we watching?" I said, ignoring the instinct to put the cold can against my overheated cheeks.

"_Gone with the Wind_."

My mouth fell open in surprise. "That's my favorite."

He grinned again. "I know."

Jacob was really pulling out all the stops. I smiled in return and snuggled up against him on the bench seat in the front of the Nova. He grabbed a blanket he'd obviously stashed in the back and covered us with it. Soon we were toasty warm and watching Scarlett be the belle of the barbecue. Things continued on this way as the story unfolded. We'd finished our popcorn and drinks by the time the Rhett was leaving Scarlett on the road to Tara and held hands throughout the rest of the film.

It was perfect.

By the time Scarlett was begging Rhett to stay and he was giving her his famous exit line, I was paying less attention to the movie and more on Jacob's chest burning against my back. The credits began to roll, but neither of us made a sound or tried to get up. Instead, Jacob's thumb was rubbing delicately against the skin of my wrist. I felt dizzy and exhilarated all at the same time. I didn't think about the imprinting or future decisions. I was simply focused on living in this blissful moment with Jacob. Nothing else mattered.

It seemed perfectly natural for me to look up and for him to kiss me. Our lips met like we'd been kissing a million years. I turned my body and wrapped my arms around his neck as he deepened the kiss. His arms circled my waist as he pulled me closer. My head tilted to the side to give him better access, which he greedily took. I moaned as his tongue broke the seam of my lips to explore the inside of my mouth. My tongue met his and gingerly twirled around it. He groaned and pulled me tighter against him, his mouth harshly taking mine again and again.

He broke away first this time. "Nessie," he said huskily, breathing heavily against my temple.

"I know," I panted, inhaling and exhaling rapidly myself.

He pushed away a stray curl that had fallen into my eye and ran his hand slowly down my cheek. "I love you," he murmured, placing delicate little kisses on my eyes, cheeks, nose, and finally on my mouth.

"I—" I said, unsure of what to say. My instinct was to repeat the words back to him, but I couldn't trust myself right now. No matter how perfect tonight was, no matter how much I'd loved kissing him, I still wasn't sure that I was in love with him. "I think you should take me home."

He tightened his grip on me for a moment longer before finally releasing me. "As the lady wishes," he said, getting out of the car to put away the film projector and lock everything up.

I spent this time clearing away the remnants of our popcorn and sodas as well as the basket. I even folded the blanket and put it in the backseat. _For next time_, I thought, with a little smile. I knew now that I wanted there to be a next time with Jacob. I wanted there to be a lot of next times with him.

He hopped back in the car, and we started for home. I didn't move over to my side of the seat. Instead, I stayed snuggled up close to him. We held hands the whole way, listening to Jim Croce croon about saving "Time in a Bottle." I'd never fully understood the meaning of that song until tonight. But, now I knew that if I could take a snapshot of a time in my life to relive over and over again forever, this night would have been it. I wasn't sure if that meant I was in love with Jacob.

But, I was sure I'd been closer to that emotion tonight than I'd ever been before.


	12. Toast

**Chapter Twelve: Toast**  
>The night of the Winter Formal arrived in a flurry of activity, laughter, and broken China. I went downstairs all decked out in my new finery to await Derek's imminent arrival. Jasper and Emmett were duking it out on the air hockey table in the living room. As I hit the final step on the staircase, they automatically looked up, both of their jaws dropping at the sight of me. Emmett hit the puck so hard he accidentally smashed the front glass of Rosalie's antique China cabinet, taking out the entire top row of dishes.<p>

(I took that as a compliment.)

"Wow, Nessie," Jasper said in awe. "You're all grown up."

I winked. "Can't get anything past you, Uncle Jasper."

"She's my masterpiece," Alice smugly announced, following behind me. "I take full credit."

"I beg to differ with you, Alice," Dad said from his position over by the front door. "I would think the credit for creating this gorgeous creature belongs solely to Bella."

"And you. Let's not forget your contribution, Edward," Mom said, reaching up to plant a passionate kiss on Dad's lips.

I grimaced at the sight of my parents making out. This was the last thing I wanted to see right now. I groaned. "Can you two hold off on the lovey dovey stuff until I'm not in the room?"

Alice laughed at the three of us. "Say what you want, Edward. You and Bella may have made the canvas, but _I'm_ the one who painted the _Mona Lisa_."

"Don't forget me, Alice. I did her hair," Rosalie chimed in before turning her wrath back on Emmett for destroying her prized porcelain.

"You look so lovely, Nessie," Carlisle said from the peach-colored sofa against the far wall.

I blushed under the weight of his compliment. "You're supposed to say that, Papa Carlisle," I admonished. "You're the grandfather."

"Grandparents are allowed to be biased," Esme said, snapping a quick picture of me with her camera. "But, in this case, he's entirely correct. You're stunning."

Emmett, who'd finally finished sweet talking Rosalie into a better mood, recovered his sardonic grin as he gave me a casual once-over. "You're going to cause Castlewood's first ten car pile-up, niece. Total devastation will abound. You're not even going to have to smile this time."

I rolled my eyes. "You've got to let that go, Uncle Emmett. It was an accidental dazzle, I was very young, we were in Brazil at the time, and there were only three cars involved in the wreck. No injuries."

He laughed as if I hadn't said anything. "I actually feel sorry for your date. One look at you and that human's toast."

In retaliation, I stuck my tongue out at him. It just made Emmett laugh harder. Only Rosalie thrusting a broom and dustpan in his direction and ordering him to clean up his mess stopped the loud guffaws of his mirth.

As I'd learned to control my dazzle where Derek was concerned, I didn't let my uncle's prophetic threat bother me. Instead, I found myself relaxing as I basked in the embrace of my family's enormous love for me. They were all here to support me, to watch as I completed another important milestone in my existence. This unfailing support meant the world to me. I felt a twinge of regret in the knowledge that Jacob wasn't here. But, seeing me leaving in the arms of another would be a little too much for any man in love to handle. I understood that, which is why I'd asked him to stay away. I also felt extremely guilty for going with Derek tonight. Logically, I knew I had no reason to feel this way. I'd been upfront and honest with Jacob about my intentions from the get-go. I had to see this through. Still, this determination did little to ease the guilt. So, I did my best to ignore it, shelved the last of my regret, and tried to focus on the happiness of those with me as well as the exciting evening that lay in store.

I remembered seeing myself in the Rosalie's full-length mirror upstairs earlier. The yellow gown, its shine muted with the lace overlay, made my naturally pale skin glow and brought out the gold flecks in my brown eyes. Rosalie had washed, curled and styled my hair with her nimble fingers until it was swept from my face in a loose knot at the back of my head. Only one bundle of reddish-brown ringlets was left to cascade down over my shoulder. Ten minutes of looking in that mirror and I'd concluded I was passably pretty. Two minutes with my family and I felt like the most beautiful woman in the world. I beamed a thank you to all of them, tears threatening to spill at any moment. I did the only thing I could think of to hold off the overwhelming emotion.

"With all this adoration," I said, "I might have to start signing autographs." I affectingly threw my nose in the air for a minute before dissolving into a fit of giggles.

My family collectedly chuckled at my silly antics. The sound of the doorbell, however, silenced everyone.

Dad, of course, answered the door. No doubt that was why he'd been waiting there. The good news was that Mom was still by his side. Derek looked handsome, but was clearly a bundle of nerves. He was dressed in a black tuxedo, his blond hair gelled and slicked back against his head. Mom invited him in, but he just stood at the threshold, casting worried glances at my stone-faced father. Emmett, his sweeping duties complete, walked over to mutely stand behind Dad. He proceeded to cross his arms over his massive chest and joined my father in what I was mentally beginning to call "the stare down." I rolled my eyes again. All that was missing to complete this ridiculous stereotype was the rifles they should be cleaning.

I attributed the odd sense of calm overtaking me to Jasper and moved forward to save Derek from the overbearing males in my family. I looked down at the clear plastic box the poor, nerve-stricken boy was unknowingly crushing in his hand. "Is that for me?" I asked.

Derek finally looked in my direction. I hated to admit it, but Emmett was right. The second my date caught sight of me, his eyes glazed over and he adopted the dopey smile that usually signaled an impending sense of dread. I sighed. Yep, I'd dazzled him, all right. And I hadn't even smiled at him this time.

Emmett laughed. _(I swear I heard him mutter the word "toast.")_

I glared at my uncle and father until they backed off my date. I took Derek by the hand and carefully ushered him inside. He followed me like a toddler being offered a cookie. While I waited for the spell to wear off my incapacitated escort, I took the little container from his fingers. Inside was a corsage made of miniature white roses trimmed in silver ribbon. There was a bit of satin covered elastic sewn into the corsage, allowing it to be worn around the wrist. I handed it to him and held out my hand. "Derek?" I prompted. "Will you put it on me?" _Please don't let him be like this all night_, I thought.

Derek blinked and looked sheepishly around the room like he didn't recognize where he was. Catching an eyeful of Dad and Emmett still staring him down by the door, he turned back to me. He looked relieved to see a friendly face. "Sure," he said. "Y-y-you look really . . ." He darting a quick glance over his shoulder at Dad before he dared to finish. "Nice."

After he'd slipped the corsage over my wrist, I introduced my family to him. In the two weeks we'd spent getting to know each other, I'd told Derek the same story we gave to everyone. Tonight, I was grateful for the lie. As it was, he was having a hard enough time just standing upright. If he knew he was surrounded by vampires, I was sure he'd run out the door screaming bloody murder. I didn't want to think about what he would say if he knew what I was.

The idea of that irritated me on a level I couldn't fully understand. But, I decided now was probably not the best time to dwell on it. Esme, Carlisle, Rosalie, Alice, and my mother's welcoming friendliness swiftly helped to cure my date's initial unease. _(I was pretty sure Jasper had a hand in this as well.) _I slipped my arm through Derek's, allowed Esme and Rosalie to take about a zillion snapshots, and got us out the door as quickly as I could. The cold night air seemed to revive him as we made our way to the car waiting outside.

He looked embarrassed. "Sorry about that. You're uncle is a little intimidating."

"Which one?" I asked, secretly plotting how I was going to dispatch two certain vampires when I got home.

"The tall, lanky one who answered the door. The one who adopted you? He's intense."

"Dad's a little overprotective," I explained as Derek opened the passenger door of his parent's Lincoln Towncar for me.

"Isn't it weird for you to call him Dad when he really isn't your father?"

I decided to be as honest as I could be. "He's the only father I've ever really known." (_Well, that much is true.)_

Derek shut my door and hurried around to get in on his side. "Are you warm enough? I noticed your hand was cold when I put the corsage on. I can turn up the heat if you like."

I blushed. I'd forgotten that I would feel a bit cooler compared to his slightly warmer human skin. "Thanks."

We rode through downtown in a companionable silence. We made our turn onto Harry Street and pulled into the parking lot of the high school gymnasium. The large brick building already had a steady column of sharply dressed couples streaming in. Since Castlewood High School has a total of 103 students, only 23 of which are seniors, the annual Winter Formal includes students from several other high schools throughout our own Hamlin County as well as neighboring Codington County. The dance takes place at a different school every year and is open to only juniors and seniors. This year was our school's turn to host. Castlewood High School would have its very own prom in the spring that was smaller, more intimate, and open only to seniors, but it was the Winter Formal that everyone always talked about. Once more, I was thankful Derek had asked me to go with him. I would have missed all of the pageantry of this very human rite of passage, otherwise. (After all, I hadn't had any interest in going last year.)

We were out of the car and joining the line of students within a few minutes.

Derek took me by the hand, and I smiled as we waited to get inside. The scent of adrenaline heavily perfuming the air shouldn't have caught me off guard, but it did. I knew I was the only one who could smell it, but I was mortified to discover that it made the constant ache of thirst in the back of my throat suddenly roar to greater life. (_This is a normal part of being me. Quick fact: Vampires are always thirsty. Human blood is the only thing that comes close to quenching this thirst. Animal blood can keep vampires strong, but it doesn't completely satiate them. Thus, vampires suffer from an incessant and irritating burn in the back of their throats. But, you get used to it. As a half-vampire who sometimes eats human food, my own suffering isn't as acute as that of my family. But, tonight was the first time in my life that it felt like it was.)_

I was scared. Instinctively, I held my breath. Of all the things I'd worried about tonight, this was not a problem I'd expected to encounter. I'd never really been a danger to humans before. Not even a little. My family never worried about me on this score—and they worried about everything where I was concerned. But, even as a baby, I'd never considered hurting anyone.

Jasper had the biggest problem being around humans. I'd never actually seen him kill a human before, but I knew the stories of other towns my family had lived in before I was born. Accidents had occurred. Lies had to be told, evidence destroyed. They'd had to move away quickly. No matter when it happened or who had been the weak one to give into temptation, my family wasn't judgmental of the fallen member. Instead, they pulled together, covered it all up, and started again someplace else. This is the reality of being a blood-sucking predator. It's not all fun and games.

I don't think I'd fully understood the truth of that concept until tonight.

My mind scrambled, trying to figure out what I should do. Was I a danger to these mortals? _Should I leave?_ Jasper always said he knew he was in trouble when he started visualizing how to kill someone, when he could all but taste the human's hot blood gushing into his mouth. As I wasn't doing that, I began to relax. The ache slowly eased in my throat. I admonished myself for not feeding before tonight. No doubt that was why this was happening. I'd been too nervous to eat over the last two days or so. I inhaled tentatively through my nose, testing myself. The burning sensation in my throat surged a bit, but remained something I could handle. I frowned. I'd have to be more careful about things like this in the future.

"You OK?" Derek asked, looking around for a reason for my obvious distress.

I wiped the frown off my face. "Just nerves," I said, with a flippant wave. There was no way I was going to explain any of this to him. How would I even begin?

He gripped my hand tighter in his and gave me his own version of a dazzling smile. "Don't worry. I won't let anything bad happen. I forbid it. Tonight's going to be perfect."

I smiled feebly back at him, desperately hoping he was correct.


	13. Dancing in the Snow

**Chapter Thirteen: Dancing in the Snow**

There has never been a time in my life where I've been afraid of what I am. Tonight was the exception.

By the time we made it inside the gymnasium, the burn in my throat had become a blazing inferno. Indoors, the smell of humans was intensified and over stimulated every one of my senses. The racing heartbeats, the heat from the crush of bodies, the warm, delicious blood pumping everywhere I looked—all of it called to me, tempted me as I'd never been tempted before. I jerked my hand away from Derek's and flicked my eyes toward the door, planning to run, needing to get away from here.

The door was blocked with more appetizing bodies pouring in from outside. To get out, I'd have to push past them with their tender flesh only inches from my sharp teeth. I'd be able to see their pulses throbbing deliciously at their throats. It would be so easy for me to . . . I took a step closer before I could think to stop myself. I shut my eyes and clamped my body down, fighting this urge with everything I had. I would not hurt these people. This wasn't me. I had to find a way to overcome this.

"Nessie? Are you OK?"

I held my breath again. The bloodthirsty haze around me cleared enough so that I managed to stay where I was. I had to do something to get a hold of myself. But, as I'd never been faced with this problem before, I wasn't sure what to do.

"Nessie?" Derek prompted, holding me by my shoulders. He bent down to look me full in the face. "Are you having some kind of panic attack? My aunt has those whenever she gets claustrophobic. Is it all the people in here? Are you claustrophobic?"

_No_, the vampire part of my brain shot back, _I'm hungry._ My human part made me bite my lip and mutely shake my head. I could imagine the wild, terrified look in my eyes because it was reflected in Derek's expression. He didn't seem to believe me about the claustrophobia. With me acting as I was, I wasn't surprised. I supposed it was better for him to believe that than to know the truth.

In the end, this development turned out to be a good thing. His reaction distracted me from my thirst. I felt myself calming down a little, but not enough to consider the danger truly gone. But, at least I could think better now.

Derek took my hand and dragged me through the crowd of students. I followed him, continuing to hold my breath. I knew sooner or later that I would have to inhale again. That worried me. _(Unlike vampires, I need to breathe—just not as much as humans.) _Derek pushed past the press of students on the dance floor and out into the sparsely populated perimeter. We got to the edge of the room and turned the corner down a narrow hallway. Two seconds later, we stopped in front of the restrooms. Of course, there was a line outside the girls' bathroom. I waited, finding myself curious what Derek could be up to. _(Curiosity is a positive sign when you're with a vampire. It means the first thing on their minds isn't draining you dry, and that's always a good thing.)_ Before I had time to question him, he pulled me into the men's bathroom.

I let out a peep of surprise as he got me inside and shut the door behind us. There were two boys in black tuxedos combing their hair in the mirror. They gaped at the sight of us.

"Out."

Derek's voice brooked no argument. The boys glanced at each other for a fleeting moment before scrambling out of there. My date locked the door behind them and pushed me over toward the row of sinks. He took a folded paper towel, dampened it and started patting my heated cheeks. I was touched by his compassion and kindness. The concerned frown on his face somehow reminded me of Alice. It was the look she usually had whenever she'd had a vision she wasn't able to quite figure out.

And, just like that, I knew everything was going to be all right.

If I was a danger to these humans, Alice would have seen it. I knew that as certainly as I knew my name. How many times had she told me how much she'd seen of my night with Derek? Her excitement hadn't been just about picking out the perfect dress for me, it was also because she knew what a good time I'd have tonight. More importantly, she hadn't seen me slaughtering half the students in two counties. Almost immediately, the blaze in my throat dimmed into its usual slow, muted burn.

"Feeling better?" Derek asked, using a dry paper towel to blot away the moisture he'd just swabbed onto my face.

I nodded.

" Breathe, Nessie. In and out," he ordered gently. He started inhaling and exhaling himself and gestured for me to follow his lead.

I took a tentative breath, afraid of a relapse. But, I was fine. I released the breath and took in another, feeling my shoulders sag in relief. _Alice would have seen it_, I chanted to myself. _She wouldn't let me hurt anyone._ My fear vanished, taking along with it the sense of alarm.

Derek smiled as he saw my stiffened form began to loosen. I smiled back. He passed the wet towel over my forehead and around the back of my neck. He even used it to wipe down my arms and hands. His steady concentration never broke. As he worked, I looked at him, really looked at him. Derek was a good, honorable boy. One day, he'd be a truly wonderful man. I could see it all in my mind's eye. Him in twenty years. His thin, wiry frame filled out with age. His consideration for others transformed into a career he was passionate about. His gray eyes twinkling with mirth as he played with his children. Among our many conversations, he'd told me of how he wanted to be a veterinarian. His dream was to live in a rural setting, have his own clinic, and be married with a parcel of kids of his own. At the time, I'd thought it was nothing more than what all the other students I knew were telling everyone now. Every senior in high school has big, elaborate plans for their grown up lives. Even I did. But, now I could see how much Derek's dream wasn't just a dream. It was his future. Moreover, I could see how much he belonged in that future.

As well as how much I didn't.

A human and a vampire falling in love is a tricky and dangerous endeavor at best. In the vampire world, there aren't many options for a couple like this. The main one chosen _(when the human doesn't accidentally become dinner)_ is for the human to be turned immortal. This was the case with my mother—even though my father wasn't originally too keen on the idea. _(That story is a whole other book unto itself, believe me.)_

Not only does the vampire-transformation option allow the couple to remain together for the length of their existences, but it also protects the vampire world from outsiders. Humans knowing the truth about vampires is not condoned in our world. The ramifications of this would be . . . _(Well, I'm sure I don't have to spell it out. Let's just say it would be catastrophic.) _

The main authority in the vampire world is known as the Volturi, an elite band of ruthless, powerful vampires who should never be underestimated and who have never been overthrown. They are known to destroy any perceived threat to the vampire way of life without stopping to ask questions first.

There have been very few exceptions.

The point to all of this rambling is that turning Derek into a vampire would be a selfish act on my part. It would be akin to burning down the Sistine Chapel just to have a weenie roast. He is perfectly content as a human and would do infinitely more good in his world than he could ever do in mine. Besides, I don't love him. That revelation didn't even surprise me. I could never love Derek Martin. As sweet and as wonderful as he was, he didn't stir anything within me. Never had and, I realized now, never would. I'd been around my family too long not to understand that being with someone _forever _would be difficult indeed without true love and lots of emotional, physical, and intellectual stimulation. With Derek, the sharpest feeling I could summon was friendship. I knew now that friendship was all I'd ever feel where he was concerned.

Subconsciously, I guess I've always been aware of that fact because I'd never once felt guilty about not telling him the whole truth about me. I knew, if I'd loved him, I would have been desperate to keep him with me. I would have wanted him to know me—_the real me_.

"Ready to rejoin the dance or do you want me to take you home?" Derek asked, touching my cheek. I could see he still wasn't sure if I was back to normal.

I smiled at him once more. I didn't love Derek, but that didn't mean I was ready to go home. I'd come here to dance and enjoy a truly human experience. Now that I was confident I wasn't a danger to those around me, I was again ready to savor my evening.

"I want to dance," I replied.

He took my hand in his, and I followed him out the door. The second time I entered the big ballroom, I was awestruck by the beauty of everything. The pounding of the music blaring from the DJ booth set up on the stage, the boys handsome in their black tuxes, and the girls resplendent in gowns of varying colors and styles. Most of all, I was charmed by the decorations. The theme for this year's Formal was winter wonderland. Fake snowmen were peppered about here and there throughout the room. A dry ice machine put out a constant, low glide of wispy smoke along the floor, giving it the appearance of being covered in snow. Glistening, silver snowflakes of every size were hung from the ceiling. A large, shiny disco ball twirling overhead caused light to bounce off the snowflakes so much that it almost appeared to be snowing on the dancers below.

Almost.

I laughed in delight. Derek grinned at my enthusiasm and squeezed my hand in his. We made it to the dance floor just as the melody changed to a slow love song I hadn't heard before. Derek's hands slipped around my waist as I placed mine onto each of his shoulders. The measured beat of the music pulsed through us as we swayed back and forth. This dance seemed perfect. The song, my date, our bodies moving in unison. Once more, I was grateful that I'd agreed to go tonight. I would keep the memory of this magnificent human experience forever.

Derek and I danced throughout the night. We took breaks from time to time to drink fruity, green punch in delicate glass cups, to talk to Emma (who looked especially pretty in her off the shoulder midnight blue gown), and to sit and visit with those students we knew as well as some we didn't. I even encouraged Derek to dance with Emma, who'd come alone. She had looked at me like I'd lost my mind to give up my date for even a second, but I'd just laughed and waved her and Derek toward to dance floor. She smiled from the second he took her by the hand and practically glowed the rest of the night.

When it was time for us to have our pictures made, I had one done with just Derek and me as well as another with both of my friends. I wanted to remember this night as one of happiness and friendship, an enduring keepsake of this night. Emma and Derek at my side had made it so special. I wanted to be able to see them as they were right now, forever.

When it was time to go and Derek and I was tucked back into his parent's Town Car, he grinned over at me. "Well," he said, "it started off a little bumpy, but we certainly managed to smooth things out."

I smiled in return. "Indeed. Thank you for tonight. You'll never know what it meant to me."

His expression softened as he leaned in. His lips slid over mine in a light, tender kiss. He lingered for a moment, waiting for my permission to continue. I put a hand up against his shoulder to push him back. His mouth on mine had been pleasant, but I wasn't going to let him be hurt later by any false impression he might get now.

"I like you, Nessie," he breathed against my cheek.

"I like you too, Derek."

"Is there someone else?"

My first thought was Jacob. He was someone else. He was. . . I didn't want to think about what he was to me right now. I reached up to cup Derek's chin in my hand. "You're a wonderful friend, but—"

"But, that's all I'll ever be," he murmured regretfully as he settled back onto his side of the car.

My hand fell uselessly into my lap. "I don't want to hurt you."

He looked down at the steering wheel for a few minutes, as though he was gauging his feelings. Finally, he turned back to me. "We'll be friends?"

I smiled again. "I'd like that, if it's OK."

"Very few people in this town really know me, Nessie. They just see the stereotypical good looking jock who grew up in the big city and seems to have it all together. I haven't talked about myself in a long time the way I have with you and Emma at lunch every day these last two weeks. I'd hate to lose that."

I reached over to pat his hand. "You won't have to. Emma and I will still be there."

He nodded, almost to himself, before turning the key in the ignition. "Let's get you home. The temperature's dropping too fast out there for my liking."

The ride home was pleasant. We chatted about everything that had happened at the dance, about the upcoming football game Castlewood was having on Friday, and about the history midterm we'd both be taking on Tuesday. When we finally made it all the way up my driveway, he made a move to get out of the car.

"Derek, you don't have to walk me to the door. It's cold out there. Plus, since we're just friends now, you shouldn't have to deal with my dad again. He's _intense_."

He seemed to shudder involuntarily at the memory, but still managed to grin at me. "Thanks."

We laughed and made plans to see each other at lunch on Monday. I got out of the car and waved as he pulled back down the drive. When his headlights had faded away, I became aware of the freezing temperatures. I pulled my long-sleeved shrug tight against my body and took a step towards the house.

Suddenly, I felt the connection that had been lightly buzzing in the back of my mind all night thrum louder. I turned just in time to see him come out of the garage.

_Jacob._

He was dressed in jeans and a thin t-shirt, but I knew the cold barely bothered him. My first instinct was to apologize for this evening, but I bit my tongue. I had nothing to be sorry about. I'd been honest and, honestly, I'd had a good time tonight. I didn't belong to Jacob. Not yet. And, until I was sure, I wasn't going to start acting like it.

I'd expected him to be angry, but he surprised me by smiling.

"You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen," he said, taking me effortlessly into his arms.

He breathed in the scent of my hair and placed a soft kiss against my forehead. Without thought, I sagged into his embrace. His strong arms roped themselves around my waist as his hands began running caresses up and down my back. I wasn't sure if he was trying to arouse me or warm me, and I didn't care.

My head fell against his chest, and I snuggled into him like a trusting child getting ready for bed. I wanted to tell him about how scared I'd been, how great Derek had been, how much fun I'd had, and how beautiful the whole night was. But there was no place for words between us right now. Our bodies swayed back and forth together for a while before I realized we were dancing. It took me a little longer to become aware of the snow that had begun falling all around us. I looked up in surprise as little white flakes hit my face. Jacob chuckled at my excitement and pulled me closer. We continued to dance. The stars shined overhead, the beat of our intermingled hearts became our music, and the snow lightly sprinkled us.

It was magical.

I'd thought my dance with Derek had seemed perfect. But, now I understood the truth. _This_, this dance right here with Jacob, was perfection. I didn't want to decipher what that meant, sort through my feelings, battle with the bond of emotion flowing heavily between us, or even open my mouth. I just wanted to dance with Jacob. So, for once in my life, I simply put aside everything and did what I wanted to do.

I danced with Jacob in the snow.


	14. Soul Mates And Alien Parasites

**Chapter Fourteen: Soul Mates and Alien Parasites**

Just when you think you're running your life, life's quick to prove that it's really running you.

Such was the case of the connection between Jacob and me in the weeks following the Winter Formal. Our night in the snow changed a lot of things between us. In some ways, it settled issues we were having. _(OK. Issues _I_ was having). _I'd stopped being afraid of the heavy and varied sentiment I felt whenever I was in his presence and grew adept at building little, mental levies to handle the overflow. However, learning how to manage the strength of the surge of feelings didn't mean I was able control which emotions were pouring in. Or, more to the point, it didn't mean I was able to decipher what was in my own heart versus what the connection was forcing me to feel. I was also extremely resentful of the lack of choice I had in the whole matter.

I know the concept of whether or not I love Jacob seems like something I should be able to decide fairly easily, but, honestly, it's not. Everything is more intense, more complicated because of the connection. In fact, sometimes it feels like I've been taken over by some kind of weird alien parasite that wields my thoughts and emotions like a joystick on a gaming system. I'd learned to grudgingly accept the idea that the parasite was there, but this didn't mean I'd ever willingly submit to its presence or authority over me. Thus, my mind and heart became the location of a constant, exhaustive, epic inner battle.

I'd wondered more than once how my cellmate in this proverbial prison was handling it all. One night, when Jacob took me out to dinner in nearby Watertown, I carefully observed him, trying to discover for myself. He was the epitome of calm, very relaxed and content with us being together. He smiled often. Everything seemed to feel very natural to him. Worse, there were times when I could have sworn he was relishing the bond between us, like it fed his soul on some strange level. That frightened me most of all. Had he just let the alien parasite take him over? When I asked him about it, Jake found my horror greatly amusing.

"_Alien parasite_?" he repeated with a barking laugh. "You have the most interesting way of looking at things. Freaky as all get out, but still interesting."

"You're too blithely happy all the time, Jake. It's not normal."

He rolled his eyes. "You belong with me, Nessie. How could I not be happy when I'm with you?"

"But, don't you feel controlled? Doesn't it scare you that the contentment and bliss you're feeling could be a pretense generated by the imprinting in order to keep us together?"

He shook his head in dismay. "How many times do I have to tell you? _I _love you, Nessie. The imprinting doesn't generate feelings for us. It simply locates the seed."

"Locates the seed? You said imprinting planted the seed before. What's the difference?"

He took my hand in his, and I flinched as a wave of desire hit me. I was able to push it aside and keep my head in the conversation.

"I once asked the tribal elders about this. From what I understand, the 'seed' is already in your soul when you're born. Everyone has one. It contains the very core essence of what you are and everything you will ever be in your life; good, bad, and ugly. Imprinting is simply nature's way of finding and binding two seeds that are the most compatible in order to better ensure the next generation's overall adaptability and survival. You could say it recognizes soul mates when it sees them and automatically puts them together."

"What?" I asked, a little miffed. "Like it's playing a cosmic game of Memory or something?"

"That's as good a way to look at it as any, I suppose," he answered with a shrug. "Putting the matches together is what I mean by planting the seed."

"But, what if I didn't want my seed planted?"

Realizing how dirty that sounded the second the words left my mouth, I blushed. Jacob laughed and leered at me, enjoying my embarrassment. I frowned in return. "You know what I mean."

He flashed a grin. "Imprinting doesn't make you feel anything you wouldn't have already ended up feeling on your own. If there was no such thing as imprinting, you and I would have still been soul mates. We still could have found each other, fallen in love, and been together forever. Establishing the connection early on just means the imprinting was hedging its bets, you could say, to make _sure_ we ended up together."

It took me days to digest all that. _Jacob and I are soul mates now? Really?_ I didn't know that I believed in all that. Worse, I hated how, just when I'd felt like I was closer to figuring some of this mess out, a new issue popped up.

I tried talking to my mother about it _(Figuring she'd understand about soul mates, if anyone could)_. Unfortunately, she was about as much help as a vampire at a blood drive.

"What does your heart tell you?"

"Mom, I asked what you thought about soul mates. I didn't come here to talk about my feelings for Jake." _(That'll take years of serious, professional therapy for me to figure out. At least, that's what it feels like.)_

She gave me the martyred look that told me she was patiently trying to guide me to some kind of magical epiphany and I was being a stubborn butt-head. "I do believe in soul mates. I don't know that I'd have necessarily thought so before I met your father, but I was quite ignorant of a lot of things back then. Now, as to what I was saying before: What does your heart tell you about Jacob? That's the only way you're going to be able to know if he's your soul mate."

"What does your heart say about Dad?"

"It's like my heart sends out an electronic pulse and his . . . answers it."

"You mean like sonar?"

She considered this for a minute before nodding. "Yes. Just like that."

I'd closed my eyes, trying to feel if anything was pinging between me and Jacob. Instead, I got bombarded with joy, anger, passion, frustration, lust, satisfaction, and a hefty dose of confusion. _Needle in a haystack_, I thought to myself, and shuffled despondently back to my bedroom.

In the end, my better understanding on the subject came from quite an unlikely source. It all started out innocently enough. I was in my room, trying to uncover some finishing details for my history paper on the Civil War. _(My teacher, Mr. Sheehan, is kind of a war junkie. And, if you can discover something about a war that the average paper might not have in it, you get bonus points.)_ I'd managed to snag my own personal reference in Jasper to help me out in this endeavor. It had taken some persuading, but, in the end, none of my family has ever been able to deny me something I needed.

"After I was made major," Jasper said, his eyes looking far away as though he was seeing it all in front of him _(which he probably was),_ "I had command of a small garrison of men. One of the bravest and most dependable was a corporal named Adam Parker. Of course, his real name was Adahy."

"Adahy?"

"Yeah, it's a Cherokee name meaning 'lives in the woods.'"

"Cherokee? As in Native American? There were Indians fighting in the Civil War?"

"Of course," Jasper replied, smiling at my surprise. "Some battles were fought within Indian territory. Most tribes felt they had to choose a side or risk forfeiting their lands and freedoms, especially if the 'wrong' side ended up the victor. The Cherokee Nation gave its allegiance to the Confederacy."

I scribbled furiously in my notepad, trying to figure out how I could weave this bonus information into my paper. In my haste, I broke the tip of my pencil and got up from the bed to use the electronic sharpener at my desk. As I passed by my window, I saw movement outside. The connection's energy immediately got sharper, and I knew it was Jacob even before I looked out the window. Jacob was helping Esme construct the greenhouse she'd been set on building in the back now that the brush in the backyard was finally cleared away.

I watched the play of muscles along his back and arms as he lifted another glass partition so that Esme could attach it to the one already in place. Seeing him only made my constant storm of emotions grow stronger.

"You gonna moon over the puppy all day?" Jasper teased, coming to stand beside me. I felt a calm peace settled over me like a warm blanket. Usually, I would have been irritated by my uncle's interference, but, today, I was thankful. Even a minute free of all that cluttered muddle of emotion was a welcome respite.

"Do you believe in soul mates, Uncle Jasper?"

He seemed taken aback by my query. "Of course," he said.

I turned to look at him. "Why?"

"Well, it kind of goes along with destiny and fate and all that."

"I never figured you as a believer of that stuff."

One honey blond eyebrow arched. "You do realize I'm mated to your Aunt Alice, right? She's the queen of _that stuff_."

"She also devoted to shopping and fashion, but I don't see you choosing outfits with her."

He laughed. "No, but my point is that you're forgetting how she and I got together in the first place. I walked into a diner one day in Pennsylvania to get out of the rain, and there she was, this strange, gorgeous creature telling me how she'd been waiting for me for a long time. _Me._ Me! Then, she proceeds to tell me about this family that we need to go find because we belong with them. Believe me, you either believe in soul mates and fate at that moment or you got a big problem."

I thought on this for quite a while before I offered any reply. I'd never considered how much faith Jasper would have had to have in order to not walk away from Alice like she was some crazy person. They'd just always been Aunt Alice and Uncle Jasper. Anyone seeing them around each other could tell how much they belonged together. They were like two pieces of the same cloth.

"What did you think when Aunt Alice told you all that? Didn't you think she was nuts?"

He smiled, getting that far off look in his eyes again. "I thought she was the most beautiful woman I'd ever beheld. Her spirit and personality were so light and lively. It was almost like I was a magnet and she was a sheet of metal. Maybe I went with her because I'm an empath and I could feel that she really believed what she was telling me. But, the main thing I remember was how much hope I felt just being in her presence. I knew if even half of what she said was true, I'd be a lucky man indeed."

"But didn't you want to have some say in the matter?"

"I did have a say in it. I chose to believe her. I chose to go with her. I chose to trust in her."

I shook my head, still not satisfied by his answer. He couldn't understand. He didn't feel this overwhelming tide of emotion whenever Alice was in the room, threatening to drown him at any time.

"I can feel what you're feeling, Nessie. You have to trust Jacob as well as yourself. In any relationship, you don't get to pick and choose how everything is going to go. Sometimes, you just have to surrender control and roll with the flow. I believe in fate—thanks to your Aunt Alice—and I believe that if I she didn't have her gift of seeing the future, she and I still would have managed to find each other sooner or later. She's my soul mate, and she belongs with me. I didn't pick her out like a new shirt or anything like that, but I'm still the happiest I've ever been in my existence just because I get to spend forever with her.

"Sometimes, it isn't about choice," he said, putting a hand on my shoulder, "it's about trusting that everything'll work out as it ought to. You just got to be willing to see it through."

I nodded, and we both turned to stare out the window. We stood there in the silence, watching Jake and Esme work below us. And while I wasn't any closer to discovering the real depth of my feelings for Jacob, I somehow still managed to feel less resentful toward the whole process. I wasn't exactly thrilled to be imprinted, but I was now at least more invested in seeing this whole thing through to its rightful conclusion. I smiled to myself, feeling a bit of contentment in regards to my life for the first time in months. I could handle this.

Of course, that was about the time life decided to remind me who's _really_ in charge.


	15. The Announcement

**Chapter Fifteen: The Announcement**

"They're coming."

Jasper and I looked at each other the second we heard her. Alice was downstairs in the living room, but her words still reached our sensitive ears. It wasn't so much what she said which had both of us alarmed. No, it was the fact that her normally angelic voice now sounded monotone and flat. We'd heard that particular tone too many times not to know what it meant.

Alice was having a vision.

Jasper immediately raced from my room. "Who's coming?" I could hear him ask Alice only seconds later when he reached her side.

I was only a minute behind him. My eyes searched her blank face, almost as if I could spot the danger myself, which I couldn't. "What did you see?" I demanded.

As if a bucket of ice water had suddenly been thrown on her, Alice's unfocused gaze cleared, signaling that she'd returned to being herself. "Charlie and Sue are coming," she replied, giving Jasper and I a brief _don't-worry-about-me_ smile.

"We already knew that," I said, trying to calm my still-thundering heartbeat. She'd really scared me for a minute there. "They're supposed to come for Christmas."

Spending Christmas with my grandfather and his wife was a tradition which began the year I was born. The only thing which changed each year was the location of our festivities. Usually, he'd come to wherever we happened to be living. There were a few times when we'd both traveled to a neutral location. _(My favorite of these was the Christmas we spent in Colorado. Charlie, Carlisle, and Emmett fell in love with ice fishing, and Dad taught me and Mom how to ski.)_ Last year, we'd surprised Charlie by coming _en masse_ to Forks. _(This is always tricky because my family is so well known there, and, as I look so much like my parents, explaining my presence is always problematic. Thus, we have to be really careful not to be seen. But, it'd been worth it because Jake got to see his family for the holidays and we got to see Charlie and Sue get married.)_ This year, it had been decided that the newlyweds would come to Castlewood.

"Not Christmas," Alice explained. "Charlie and Sue are coming for Thanksgiving. They'll be here by the end of the week."

"Why?" Carlisle asked, coming in from his latest shift at the hospital in Watertown. "Not that we won't welcome them, but it's odd to have Charlie visit so soon when we already have plans to see him in December."

It was a good question. Usually, we don't celebrate Thanksgiving (_at least not the way humans do). _With 75 percent of my family's main diet consisting of blood, it seems a ridiculous waste to cook a table full of food which only two people can consume. _(One, actually. Jacob loves all the feasting, but I'm not a big fan of turkey, stuffing, or sweet potatoes. Green bean casserole, however, is quite tasty.) _Not that Alice and Esme let the lack of diners stand in the way of their cooking an entire traditional Thanksgiving feast about five years ago—complete with authentic cornucopia centerpiece. _(This is what you get when you have an overly creative aunt who doesn't need sleep.)_

The massive amount of leftovers we'd had to deal with for the next two weeks, however, convinced them to scale back future Thanksgiving plans. Presently, the entire family spends the day together hunting in the woods _(FYI: Jacob is quite the skilled hunter in wolf form. We usually have a competition between the two of us to see who can bring down their prey faster. I kicked his butt last year.)_ Later, we all come back to the house, engorged and sated. The guys pile in front of the television to watch football and the women usually play cards at the dining room table. _(See? We're not that different from the average American family, huh?)_

"Yeah, why are they coming at Thanksgiving? Is something wrong?" I said.

"They have an announcement. I'm not sure if I should say anything though," Alice responded, biting her bottom lip in indecision.

"What's going on?" Jacob said, coming in from the kitchen downing a large glass of lemonade. He'd been sweating and overheated from his labors outside, and I was proud of myself for ignoring the little beads of water seductively sliding from his chin down his well sculpted throat and. . . _Huh? What's going on? Oh yeah! _Anyway, I stayed completely unaffected and filled Jacob in on the current happenings. _(Well, it's mostly true.)_ It was only when I felt a jolt of uneasiness from Jacob that I became concerned. I looked at him, inquiringly.

He sighed like the weight of the world was on his shoulders and finished off his drink. "It's Seth," he finally said, not really meeting my gaze.

My worry grew. In addition to being a werewolf, Jacob is the head of his own pack. At last count, this included his childhood friends, Quil and Embry; Sue's daughter, Leah; and Seth, Sue's son. Besides Jake, Seth is my favorite werewolf. His humor, playfulness, and eternally happy-go-lucky personality make him popular wherever he goes. That he readily accepts my vampire family as equals, when the other werewolves have remained cautious and begrudging in their presence, garners him a great deal of esteem and respect in the Cullen family. He's currently attending a local community college pursuing a degree in criminal justice. _(His dream is to one day be a cop—like Grandpa Charlie.)_ When Charlie married Sue last year, we'd all been thrilled because this meant Seth had become related to us through marriage. As he was now officially my mother's step brother, I'd even began to jokingly refer to him as Uncle Seth, which irritated him because he said it made him feel old. _(As he'd made the mistake of grumbling about this while Emmett was in the room, Emmett now constantly refers to him as Uncle Seth, too.)_

"What's wrong with Seth?" I zoomed to Jacob's side.

It was pretty obvious he didn't want to tell me. His jaw hardened as he'd begun an intense study of the floor.

"Jake!" I said, grabbing his shoulder. "What is it? Is he hurt?" But, even as I asked the question, I knew that couldn't be it. If Seth was hurt, Charlie and Sue would have simply called us. It wouldn't have been a surprise they'd have taken the time to drive all the way to South Dakota to impart.

"He isn't hurt. Seth's fine," Alice said. "They're all coming to give us good news."

"Seth's coming too?" Carlisle asked.

I ignored this, keeping my eyes focused on Jake, watching him, waiting for him to look at me. There was a reason he was reticent to tell me what was really going on here. I could feel emotions pouring off him. Anger, indecision, regret, and . . ._fear?_ _What is he afraid to tell me?_ The longer he remained mute, the more uneasy I became. I knew he wasn't going to be able to avoid me forever. He knew it as well. For the first time ever, I was thankful to have this connection between us. He knew what I wanted, what I needed from him. The connection would see to it that I'd get it. Jacob wouldn't be able to deny me.

"Yes, Charlie, Sue, Seth, and . . ." Alice's voice trailed off.

Jacob's eyes caught Alice's, and I knew she'd gone silent to see if he was going to tell me himself. His exhaled heavily and finally met my gaze. "It only just happened. I wasn't sure how to tell you. You're still so touchy about everything, and I didn't want to upset you further," he said, taking my hands in his.

I said nothing, waiting on him to finish. I knew that, as the Alpha, he could mentally communicate with his pack anytime he and they were in wolf form. He did this to not only keep up with the latest happenings in and around the reservation where he grew up, but also because he was duty bound as the pack leader to do so. There was another pack of werewolves on the reservation, led by a man named Sam. Jake had once been a member of this pack, but he'd broken away from them shortly before my birth. Seth and Leah had gone with him. Later, Quil and Embry did as well. When my family decided it was time to move away from Forks, Jake had tried to get his pack to reunite with Sam, but they had refused. So, Jacob kept up with his Alpha responsibilities and stayed in constant contact with them. If the pack ever needed him, he went back. Fortunately, those instances had been few and far between.

The pack's collective mental communication was similar to my father's telepathy. However, instead of just being able to read each other's minds, they could also send messages to each other. The fact that this could be accomplished while the parties involved were such a great distance from each other was something which astounded Carlisle and my father. Dad, as he could hear the werewolves' minds, had often remarked that this unique and vital power gave the werewolves the ability to fight more skillfully, organize faster, and think in a singular, unified manner which Dad referred to as the "pack plural."

The point to all of this was that Jake, in keeping contact with his pack, knew firsthand what had happened to Seth. He knew, and, whatever it was, he'd been keeping it from me. My concern was now mixed with anger.

"What happened? Who's coming with them? Just tell me, Jake," I urged.

I felt the last of his resistance melt away under the power of my unwavering gaze.

"Seth's getting married," he said. "He met a girl at school a few days ago named Anna. They're planning a wedding in the spring."

This confused me. _What is the big deal? _So, Seth was getting married. He was a little young, barely knew this girl, and seemed to be rushing into things, but I could still be happy for him. _Why is this something Jacob's afraid for me to know?_ None of it made any sense. I bombarded him with my questions. He swallowed heavily before blurting out an answer. The second the words flew from his mouth, everything fell instantly into place. Jacob gripped my hands in his, almost as if he were worried I was going to run away. I didn't, though. I was too surprised to do anything but continue to stare back at him.

"Nessie, Seth and Anna are imprinted."


	16. The Irritating Side Of Imprinting

**Chapter Sixteen: The Irritating Side of Imprinting**

As a rule, having humans in the house always complicates things. This latest visit from Charlie more than proved that. It also proved that humans can be irritating creatures. _(Yeah, yeah. I know I'm half-human. It doesn't mean I'm not right about this.)_

In the time before they arrived, my mind was filled with a riot of thoughts and emotions. Anger dominated everything. I was angry at Jacob for keeping Seth's imprinting from me. I was angry at Mother Nature for once again meddling in people's love lives. And, when our visitors finally showed up a few days later, I was angry at Seth and Anna because they looked so blissfully happy together.

It was this last item that sent me into a full rage. No doubt everyone else looked at them and saw a couple deeply in love. I saw two young, helpless kids heavily under the influence of imprinting. My fierce, independent streak instantly flared in response. That Seth and Anna didn't seem inclined or even able to fight the connection only made it worse. I wondered briefly if I would have been able to fight my own imprinting if I was born full human. The complex, vampire portion of my brain can think faster and more comprehensively than a human's ever could. _Maybe this is what kept the flood-like strength of the imprinting from drowning me whole?_ No doubt the fact that I'd been a baby when the bond was initially forged had also given Jake some needed time to deal with the connection on his own terms.

Intermixed with all my anger was a faint undercurrent of something else. Strangely enough, it felt like envy. _(And, honestly, it took me a little while to notice it because I was so mad.) _I couldn't begin to understand why seeing those two brainwashed kids with each other would bring out that particular emotion in me. It wasn't like I secretly wanted to be with Seth or anything. The mere concept of that is ridiculous. So what was there to envy?

To the naked eye, seeing the couple in person together was an awe-inspiring sight. They were a perfect symphony of movement and emotion. Whatever one seemed to require, the other immediately gave. Whatever one seemed to lack, the other had. If one leaned to the right, the other automatically adjusted as well. They were like one creature inhabiting two bodies. They were blatantly overjoyed to be with each other and their bliss easily permeated everything and everyone in the house.

Except me. _Me_, it scared the crap out of.

No doubt, many people probably think I'm crazy to feel this way. But, in seeing Seth and Anna together, I caught a vivid glimpse of what my own future with Jacob could be if I gave into this persistent, all consuming connection we shared. The image was bleak at best. We would exist as two creatures solely reliant on each other for everything. There was no choice, no independent thought, no individuality at all. Worse, we were both constantly controlled and manipulated by some outside power that was all but forcing us to procreate. It was like being in prison and then having your soul sucked from you at the same time. _(I don't care how much Jacob thinks my alien parasite analogy is nuts, this whole thing still sounds like the premise of a weird science-fiction movie to me.)_

Suddenly, I was reminded of a scene from the epic Greek poem _The Odyssey_ when the main hero, Odysseus, and his sailors had their ship driven off course by terrible storms. After finally making it to dry land, they'd foolishly eaten the fruit of the Lotus-Eaters. This fruit had caused them to forget everything they'd once wanted, planned, and worked for. Instead, they'd become senseless, laughing, lethargic hulks who cared nothing for anything but eating more fruit. It had nearly been the ending of them all. Everything I had in me rebelled against the idea of ever becoming that influenced by anything or anyone. Even though I cared deeply for Jacob—and I now had to admit exactly how firmly defined and entrenched those feelings were really getting—I'd never again be the kind of person who could just sit back and let things happen to me.

_My life, my choice._

That little mantra hadn't left me in the months since I'd learned of the imprinting. I couldn't lose my grip on it, not unless I wanted to lose the grip on myself as well. Just the idea of that left me shuddering in disgust and fear.

Still, as angry as I was with everything else, it was so good to see Charlie again. When he came in the door, I threw myself into his arms and squeezed him tight. "Grandpa!" He hugged me back for a moment before begging me to loosen my hold on him. _(Sometimes I forget my own strength.)_ I immediately pulled back.

He took my face in his callused hands—the way he always did when he first saw me—and studied everything about me, his human eyes trying to take in all the changes that had happened since we'd last seen each other. Usually, there were quite a lot to document. This year, I knew there'd be fewer noticeable ones than ever before. I wondered idly if next year there would be any at all.

What my grandfather didn't know was that, as he was trying to discern all of the changes in my features, I was doing the same to him. He's not even fifty yet, but I could see deeper wrinkles setting in around his eyes, the gray hairs on his head and mustache currently outnumbering the black. _(This comes from a regular human trying to live in a supernatural world. Believe me. it can take its toll.)_ The brackets framing his mouth now stayed whether he was smiling or not. His tall frame seemed frailer than last year, but I knew that was probably my own fears causing me to think that. Charlie was so conspicuously human to me. I was reminded of how little time he'd have on the earth as a mortal while, at the same time, never more aware of how much endless time I would have as an immortal.

His examination complete, he kissed me on the forehead. "Still the most beautiful girl I've ever seen," he murmured, giving my cheek an affectionate pinch.

As he turned to take my waiting mother into his embrace, I moved to hug Sue. My new grandmother's long, black and gray hair was drawn back in a simple ponytail. Her brown eyes were alight and showed how genuinely happy she was to see me. I kept my grip lose this time and pulled back to grin at her. She was one of those women whose eyes had absorbed so much of her life. She'd married and had two children, suffered the loss of her beloved husband, dealt with the stress of having her children develop into werewolves, taken on the tough job of being an elder in her tribe, and had managed to find love again in the arms of the man who had once been her husband's best friend. On top of all this, she knew and accepted that vampires, who were still considered a main enemy of her tribe, were now a valued part of her family. This last item hadn't been easy for her, but she'd still done it. Yes, I considered, looking up at her, even though her olive-toned face was winsome and youthful, you could tell that she had lived two lifetimes just from her eyes.

"You are looking well, little one," she said to me.

"Marriage seems to suit you as well," I replied, reaching up to kiss her cheek.

"Are you going to just ignore me, Monster?"

I looked over Sue's shoulder and laughed out loud. "Uncle Seth!" I couldn't help myself as I hurried over to hug the tall, massive man-boy lurking at our front door.

He pulled me with a good-natured frown. "You know better than to call me that."

I shrugged, still smiling. "You started it by calling me monster."

"Hey, is it my fault your mom named you after a Scottish lake demon? I'm just calling it like I see it." He grinned.

I punched him in the arm.

"I heard that, Seth," Mom said, coming over to embrace him.

Seth's grin widened as he hugged her back. "I meant you to, Bella."

He turned back to me. "How the surfing 'round here?"

I rolled my eyes at his attempt at humor. "Just because you live next to a beach doesn't mean we all want to."

"You're dying of envy and you know it," he retorted with a laugh. "Bring your butt back to the reservation, and I might be persuaded to show you a few new moves I learned from Anna. She's quite the surfing phenom."

"Did someone mention surfing?" Alice called out, coming our way to hug Seth. "I'm up for that."

"Of course, Alice," he replied. "Sometimes I forget that the treaty is kaput now that Jake's imprinted on Nessie. You know you're welcome at LaPush anytime. All of you are."

Next to Seth's towering frame, a petite, red-haired girl who looked about my age stood trying to take everything in. Her porcelain skin was dotted with freckles across the bridge of her pert nose. Her lollipop green eyes were almost too large for her face and a wide, bottom lip was currently caught between her teeth as her nerves clearly got the better of her. _(As she was entering a house full of werewolves and vampires, I didn't blame her.)_

"Hi," I said, smiling to let her know she was welcome and completely safe. "I'm Nessie Cullen." I held out a hand for her to shake.

She returned my smile and shook my hand. "I'm Anna McMurray."

"Soon to be Anna Clearwater." Seth put an arm around his fiancee's waist, stealing a swift kiss which left the girl blushing. "Isn't she great, Nessie? I'm the luckiest guy alive."

Anna gazed up to Seth with an expression of pure felicity and wonder. They continued to stare at each other for a long minute, seeming to forget everything else around them.

Things went downhill from there.

Jacob came over to my side, sliding his arm around my waist. I stared up at him, instantly aware that the look he was giving me was eerily similar to the one shared between Seth and his ladylove. I broke away from him and grabbed Anna's hand.

"C'mon, Anna. You're sleeping in my room. Let's go upstairs so we can get to know each other," I said.

It took a few minutes and some serious hand waving in their faces, but I finally managed to pop the couple's loveswept bubble. _(This was good as their gooey, sappy love stuff was making bile rise in my throat. I'm pretty sure I even heard Anna call Seth "Honey Bun." I sincerely hoped Emmett hadn't heard that or Seth was never going to live it down.)_

"Huh?" Anna asked, blinking a little as she looked at me. "Yes, that's sounds great."

I tugged her hand to get her to follow me upstairs while everyone else went about doing other things. Mom, Alice, and Grandpa were sitting on the couch chatting away like magpies. Carlisle was telling Dad, Emmett, and Jasper to follow him outside to get the luggage while Esme and Rosalie explained to Sue where everyone would be sleeping while they were here. It had already been decided that Charlie and Sue would sleep in Carlisle and Esme's room, especially as Carlisle would be working the night shift during the holidays, and, again, vampires don't have to sleep—ever._ (I know. It's weird.)_ Seth would be bunking in with Jake in his apartment, and Anna, of course, was staying with me. _(Charlie and Sue were a little old-fashioned about Seth and Anna sharing a room, and Carlisle and Esme were simply trying to abide by their wishes.) _

I ignored Jacob, who, even as he was talking to Seth, kept stealing glances at me. _Him I'll deal with later,_ I told myself.

When Anna and I had made it up to my room, I showed her the small cot which had been set up directly across from my bed. _(We'd moved my desk into the garage in order to accommodate it.)_ "If it's not comfortable, let me know. I'll be glad to switch with you."

"No, I'm sure it'll be fine," Anna replied, trying to take in my room. Her eyes ran over the various posters on my walls. I had everything from the Black-Eyed Peas to a framed playbill from the _Hamlet_ production my father had taken me to see in New York one year. She moved on to my collection of CDs lined up on a tall, vertical shelf running up one wall. "You like Cody Nichols?" she asked, seeming surprised that I would have a CD by so well known a teen hearthrob.

"Sure. What girl doesn't?"

"I know, but I thought—" Her words broke off as her cheeks went crimson again.

"You thought . . . ?" I pressed, genuinely intrigued by what had brought that reaction on.

Anna bit her lip again. "With you being . . . _what you are_ . . . I just . . ." She shrugged and fell silent, seemingly too embarrassed to go on.

It took me a second to follow her, but I finally understood. "You mean, with me being a half-vampire you thought I would only like music like, what? Marilyn Manson or Rob Zombie?"

She looked down in mortification. "I guess it sounds stupid. I'm sorry."

I gave a dismissive wave of my hand. "It's fine. I guess I would have thought the same thing if I was in your shoes. If it helps, I have an Alice Cooper CD around here somewhere. I think my Uncle Emmett borrowed it the last time he and Aunt Rosalie went mud-bogging in his jeep. But, truthfully, some of my favorite music is either classical or classic rock. I grew up listening to a lot of both."

Anna nodded and sat down on the cot, pulling her legs up underneath her."I like pop mostly myself. Seth's trying to get me into country, but I'm not sure he's going to succeed in that. Still, if it's what he wants." She gave a little shrug.

That made me uneasy as it brought up all my feelings about the imprinting. I had wanted to talk to Anna about this, but I'd been willing to wait until we got to know each other a little better. But, right now, I just had to know. "Are you aware of the imprinting between you and Seth?"

"Of course, he told me the day we met. I thought he was insane at first, but, by the next day, I could feel that he was right."

"How does the imprinting feel to you?"

She looked confused. "Aren't you and Jake imprinted? Seth said you were."

It was my turn to blush. I knew that, since Anna had become the object of Seth's imprint, she'd been told the complete backstory of his life _(as well as the inclusion of vampires in that story_), but it was the first time anyone had ever said that to me besides Jake. "Yes," I hurriedly said. "We are."

"Then, don't you already know how it feels?"

"I guess I just wanted to see if it felt different for someone else."

She inclined her head in understanding. "Well, for me, it's the best of everything. I was an orphan from the time I was eleven. My mom died from a drug overdose, and I never knew my dad. I grew up in a group home and was lucky enough to snag a scholarship to the local community college because I'm pretty good at softball."

"And surfing too, I hear," I put in.

"Yes, but not as good as Seth likes to claim." She smiled. "I've never been what you might call an extrovert, but I'd made some friends my first semester. Still, I didn't feel like I really belonged anywhere, you know?"

I nodded. I'd had times when I grasped that particular concept all too well.

"Then, I met Seth and everything changed. It's a relief to finally have a place I belong, with a real family and everything."

"It doesn't freak you out?"

"No," she quickly answered. "Well, maybe the vampire and werewolf part. I never imagined something like that could really exist outside of books and movies, but Seth assured me you are all his family and you won't hurt me. He wouldn't lie to me, and he'll always keep me safe." She smiled to herself for a minute before something seemed to occur to her. "And, I would never tell anyone. You don't have to worry about me putting your family in danger."

I knew that already. We all did. Between the Quileute tribe and the imprinting, we were confident she wouldn't betray our family. "But," I prodded, "you've known Seth for only a few weeks. Right?"

She sighed gleefully. "Twelve days," she said, more to herself than anyone else. "We've been together for twelve, wonderful days."

"Yes, and it doesn't strike you as odd that you suddenly want to spend the rest of your life with someone you've known for twelve days?"

She frowned. "Don't you like Seth? He said you and he were close."

"We are close, but—"

"Then is it me you don't like? I'm a good person, and I'll treat Seth like a king. Nobody can make him happier than me! I promise."

The tears gathering in her green eyes told me to cool it with the questioning. I zipped over to the cot, intent on reassuring her that she was indeed a fine person capable of making Seth deliriously happy. Of course, I forgot to make my trip at human speed and ended up upsetting her even more.

It took half a box of tissues, three songs on the new Cody Nichols album, and Seth showing up in person to get Anna to calm down. Actually, I was pretty sure Seth's presence alone was what had mopped up the redhead's tears, but I was too irritated to care at that point. Three seconds in the room and the couple were back in lovey dovey mode. _(Note: If this is what imprinting turns you into, I'm joining a convent.)_

Obviously trying to talk to Anna about this was a mistake. I briefly considered discussing it with Seth, but was worried I might get a similar reaction. _(Although, it might be worth it to see Seth burst into tears. He'd never live that one down, believe me.)_ Still, who knew when I'd be able to get him away from Anna? I sighed and grumbled to myself. The young lovers didn't seem to notice as they were doing the stare-soulfully-into-each-other's-eyes crap again.

I was thankful when Emmett interrupted everything to announce that dinner was ready for the humans. Even though I wasn't the least bit hungry, I got up and went downstairs. Seth and Anna followed behind me, arm in arm. I should have thought it was odd that Emmett stood grinning at the door jamb as I passed by, but I didn't. I didn't care about anything except getting away from Romeo and Juliet. Still, in the end, I was glad my uncle did what he did because it certainly lightened my mood. And, right then, I needed that more than anything.

"Thanks for letting us know, Emmett," Seth said as he passed him by.

Emmett's grin widened into a smirk. "Sure thing, honey bun."


	17. Constantine

**Chapter Seventeen: Constantine**

After spending a full day with the lovey dovey twins _(as I was starting to refer to them)_, I was ready to hurl myself off the nearest bridge just to get away.

The good news: I wasn't the only one who felt this way. Emmett, Rosalie, Alice, and Jasper insisted on going to pick up the groceries we'd need for the coming Thanksgiving feast, even though the task clearly didn't require that many people. _(They also came back six hours later without a turkey. Then, they all fell over themselves volunteering to go get one.)_ Jacob took to hiding out in the garage whenever the couple were in his apartment. If they were in the house, he was usually hiding in his apartment. Even Mom and Dad, who being so in love themselves should have had a soft spot for Seth and Anna, took Charlie and Sue on an all-day ice fishing expedition on Lake Poinsett to get away from the syrupy lovebirds.

The bad news: All this hiding and fleeing from my family meant that Carlisle, Esme, and I were left to deal with Antony and Cleopatra. _(Actually this ended up just being Esme and I because Carlisle "mysteriously" picked up an extra shift at the hospital.)_

The worse news: By the next day, Anna had heard from Seth _(who I was going to cheerfully strangle as soon as I could)_ that I wasn't blithely accepting my imprinting. This, along with the details she'd put together from our initial chat, made her a zealot in her determination to get me to change my mind.

"How can you say no to this wonderful gift God has given you? Jacob is your other half! He's your destiny! How can you deny your destiny?"

_Where is that bridge when you need it?_

I'd tried ignoring her by turning up the volume on the television while she talked. She'd finally unplugged the unit from the wall, plopped down next to me on the couch, and began her tirade again.

"You should see the way he looks at you. Jacob loves you so much, Nessie. I know you love him too. Just admit it. You'll feel so much better."

I tried debating her theories logically.

"He completes you, Nessie."

"You know that's a line from a movie, right?"

"Jacob's just a boy, standing in front of a girl, asking her to love him."

"That's a line, too."

"Love means never having to say you're sorry!"

"That's a line that doesn't even make sense in this scenario!"

I even tried locking myself in my room. That's when Anna clearly lost her mind because she thought it was a good idea to start reading romantic poetry through the door to "soften my heart to the call of love." By the time she'd pulled out John Keats, I was escaping out my bedroom window.

"Finally had enough, huh?" Jacob said, as I landed on the ground. He was in the garage changing the oil in his Nova.

"If you get her to leave me alone, I'll marry you," I said, dusting off my pants as I approached him.

"Really?" Jacob asked, seeming so flabbergasted by the mere thought of matrimony that he dropped his wrench.

"No," I said with a laugh. "But it's good to know you're not in any hurry to do that either."

He sighed. "Nessie, you know we need to talk."

I held up my hands. "I've had enough of that for today. Tomorrow's Thanksgiving Jacob. Let's talk after that. Right now, I just need to get away from everything so I can think."

Jake frowned. "It's not a good idea for you to take off by yourself. Let me wash my hands, and I'll go with you."

"How can I think about you if you're right beside me? No, Jacob. I'll be fine. I won't be gone long, and I won't go far."

"But your parents—"

"Know that I'm an adult know. I can make my own decisions, and I've decided that I don't need a babysitter. Besides, they went fishing again with Charlie. I'll be back before they are." I leaned over to give Jacob a brief, consolatory smooch. He became putty in my hands. I grinned, enjoying my newfound power. "I promise. We'll talk tomorrow."

"Are you trying to bribe me with a kiss?" he grumbled as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Maybe," I whispered against his mouth. "Is it working?"

He growled low in his throat. "Don't be gone too long," he said, pulling me urgently against his body to deepen the kiss, "or I'll come after you myself."

The kiss lasted a little longer than I'd planned because I lost my head. And, with that, I became the putty. Before I knew it, my body was wrapped around his. The truly humiliating part of it all was that Jacob actually had to break away first. His smug smirk as he watched me try to get a hold of myself was annoying, but I was too happy to be free of everything for a while to hang on to that for long.

The wind flying in my face was exhilarating. I ran, initially planning to travel to my usual spot in the woods which was nestled next to a small creek. At the last minute, I changed course, heading for a meadow I'd been to only once or twice. When I got there, I was tired, but it was worth it. The field was now a majestic, snow-covered wonderland. I made it to the very middle before I sat down. Flopping onto my back, I made a snow angel before allowing myself to just lay there for a while, enjoying the sun on my face.

My mind was full of Jacob, the imprinting, my family and everything else, which is why I didn't notice anything was off at first. The lack of noise around me would have clued me in if I'd been paying attention. I knew better than to ever let down my guard. The lesson had been drilled into me practically since birth, but my instincts were off today. In fact, by the time I was aware of any threat, it was too late to do anything about it.

He was already there.

Catching a movement out of the corner of my eye, I automatically jumped to my feet to face the danger. I caught his scent as he left the woods to fully enter the meadow. I recognized him as vampire even though I knew I'd never seen him before. The sweet odor all vampires have is unmistakable. The intruder was lanky, like my father, but a great deal shorter. He even looked to be shorter than me. His coal black hair and pale skin shined in the afternoon sun. _(Did I mention that a vampire's skin glitters like a thousand diamonds in the sun? Yeah, I know. Sparkly vampires. Who would have thought it? __Still, when presented in this particular manner, I'm willing to admit it's a terrifying sight.)_

In the time it took for me to blink, he was standing less than three feet in front of me.

"Hello, little girl," the vampire said, narrowing his eyes to carefully look me over. His hair was pulled back from his face in a low pony tail. A little, gold earring looped around the lobe of one ear. "Don't you know it's dangerous to be out alone like this?"

I made no reply. I was too busy trying to figure out the best way to get out of here. My uncles' training was playing over and over in my mind. _Retreat is always your safest option_, I heard Jasper say. My eyes darted past the one in front of me, trying to calculate how I could get around him without him getting me. I turned my head slightly to see what was behind me. _No, that's no good either_, I thought.

"You aren't thinking of leaving so soon, are you?" he crooned, his voice bearing an accent I couldn't place. All I knew for certain was that he wasn't just going to let me slip away.

_OK_,_ p__lan B_. I curled my body into a defensive position, my hands becoming claws out in front of me. I rocked slightly back and forth on the balls of my feet, my eyes never leaving his.

His head cocked to the side as he recognized my instinctive crouch as one a vampire would use. "You smell human and I can hear your heart fluttering in your chest, but I'd bet twenty guineas you're more than that." He closed his eyes a moment to inhale deeply as if he were deciphering the bouquet of a fine wine. When he opened them again, his red irises blazed at me. He smiled as he took a step closer. "What _are_ you, little one? Come now, you can tell Constantine."

I backed up, too scared now to say anything. I was mentally flipping through every fighting attack that Emmett and Jasper had drilled into me, trying to think of one that might let me escape here with my life. Going up against a hungry vampire intent on my death would be a first for me. I was pretty sure there wasn't a way I could beat him in hand-to-hand combat. He'd be too quick, too strong. My only chance was to stun him enough to run away. This was what Jasper and Emmett had always told me. I think I'd been too smug in my own fighting prowess to believe them until now.

Constantine held out a hand, beckoning me with his fingers. "Come here, and I will end this quickly for you. I'm thirsty and in no mood for foolish games. There's no escape. Surely you can see that."

When he edged nearer, I took off in a flash, getting by him only because he hadn't expected me to be that fast. My feet pounded against the snow as I closed in on the edge of the forest, where I hoped to be able to lose him.

I didn't make it.

He had me in his grip before a full minute elapsed, one arm wrapped around my waist and the other holding my neck to the side. He glared down at me, his sharp teeth poised to strike at my jugular. "You run like a vampire, but not," he said. He let go of my neck to run his fingers lightly along my cheek. "Your skin is soft, but not like a human's. What are you?"

Even though fear permeated every pore of my being, anger and a fierce survival instinct took over. I wasn't going to let this vampire just kill me—at least not without one hell of a fight. My breath was coming out in great gasps, but I still managed to answer him. "Me?" I replied as haughtily as I could muster. "I'm the girl who's going to kick your ass."

And with that, I shoved back at him and did the one thing Charlie had assured me would hurt any male the world over. With all I had, I wrenched my knee into the vampire's groin. Constantine collapsed on his knees to the ground. Taking advantage of this, I slammed the heel of my hand against his jaw, sending him sprawling in the grass. I didn't wait to see how incapacitated he was, I took off as fast of my legs would carry me. I knew at most I'd just dazed him and a head start was the one shot I had at making it home alive. It was only a few minutes before I felt him chasing after me again. I threw myself forward, sending a silent prayer to God to let Alice have seen some of this. She'd tell my father, Jacob, someone, and I might have a chance at being saved. I knew, if Constantine caught me again, he wouldn't hesitate to kill me a second time.

I felt the stone arm grab me as I was tackled from behind. My murderer flipped me over, his red gaze now gleaming with blood lust. "I want to see your face when I kill you," he hissed.

I closed my eyes, knowing my death was imminent. Even as I struggled against his granite grip, I knew there was nothing more I could do to ensure my survival. I fleetingly wondered what would happen to my family when they found me. _Would they find me? What would happen to Jake? What—? _As suddenly as Constantine had held me down, I was released. I looked up, trying to figure out what had happened. Just as quickly, I saw my rescuer ripping Constantine's neck from his shoulders. The rest of his body soon became a strewn mass of pieces.

Before I could raise myself off the ground, a fire was started and the vampire pieces were thrown in to begin burning. _(Note: This is the only true way to make sure a vampire is dead for good.) _The sickly-sweet smell of roasting Constantine filled the air, but I didn't look at the blaze. No, my eyes were locked on the one who'd saved my life. Of all the people who I thought might come to help me, he was the last one I'd expected.

It wasn't Jacob, my father, Carlisle, one of my uncles, or even Seth who smiled back at me now. But, he wasn't a stranger either. No, I'd seen him before, long ago when I was a small child. Yet, even though I'd been less than a year old when the two of us had last met, I clearly remembered his name. I also knew I was safe in his presence. I returned his smile.

"Hello, Nahuel."


	18. The Naked Truth

**Chapter Eighteen: The Naked Truth**

Once it became apparent I wasn't going to die, my body decided it was time for a nervous breakdown.

My knees gave way first, causing me to drop with a loud _thunk_ to the ground. I sat there, kneeling in the snow, my breath coming out in a series of shallow, gasping pants. My usually fast-paced heart was knocking so rapidly against my chest I couldn't tell where one beat ended and the other began. Like a hummingbird trying to feed from a garden of flowers, my brain raced from one thought to the next. _I nearly died. Oh my God. Constantine was going to kill me. I tried to fight him off, but I wasn't strong enough and he almost_—_OhmyGod OhmyGod OhmyGod._

Nahuel put his mocha-tinted hands comfortingly on either side of my shoulders. "You are safe now, Renesmee. We are the same, you and I. Do not fear. I would never harm you."

Everything inside of me knew this already, but having him say it distracted me from my breakdown. I looked up into his teak-colored eyes. "You're a half-vampire too, right? I remember you, from before."

He never got to answer. The sound of a piercing snarl and a blur of reddish-brown fur were the only warnings I got before he was violently ripped away from me.

Nahuel was slammed into the ground a few feet from me, pinned into place by a massive, snarling wolf, whose razor-sharp teeth repeatedly tried to snap his throat. _Jacob._ The half-vampire was holding him off. I got up and rushed toward them, needing to get Jake to understand what was going on before anyone was hurt. As there was no time for words, I held my hand against the wolf's flank and pushed every memory I had of the attack and my rescue into him. I felt him flinch in response. _Good. He heard me._ Before I could do anything else, I was snatched away by steel-like arms, which immediately shoved my face against a hard chest.

"Nessie."

"Renesmee!"

_OK. Make that two hard chests._

"Mom, Dad," I said, struggling against their joined embrace. The sounds of fighting had stopped, but, as I could feel Jacob's rage and hostility pouring to me through our connection, I knew he was still a threat to Nahuel's safety. "Don't let Jake hurt him."

"He saved her, Jake. Let him go," Dad ordered, _not_ letting me go. I knew he'd already read the flash of memory I'd sent to Jake, and, for the first time ever, I was thrilled my father was a telepath. I was too exhausted and overwhelmed to have explained anything verbally at this point.

I allowed my parent's protective hold for a few more minutes before I began to feel more suffocated than comforted. My complaints on this score soon got them to release me, but they still flanked my sides. Nahuel had regained his feet. He appeared to be unharmed except for a wide rip down the front of his shirt and a claw-like, bloody wound on his chest that was—before our eyes—starting to heal. _(This was a little bit of a shock to me because I've never actually bled before. My skin is tough and usually impenetrable. Ordinary bumps and falls do not cause me to bleed or bruise in any way. Thus, I had no clue I could even be hurt like that or that I could heal so quickly.)_ I resolved to talk to Nahuel about this matter as soon as I could get him alone. I planned to insist on bringing him back to the house with us. After all, how often was I going to get an opportunity to see, speak to, and learn from someone just like me? My excitement knew no bounds. It was like what I imagine the ugly duckling felt when he at last got around the beautiful swans _(except without those pesky, self-esteem issues)._

I smiled at my rescuer. His gaze stayed on the russet wolf to his right, who still looked ready to pounce at any moment. Nahuel rolled back on the balls of his feet, as though trying to find his balance. Jake uttered a low, menacing growl in response.

My patience began to thin. _Now's not the time for male posturing._ "Jake," I clipped, "cut it out. He's the good guy. You want to growl at something, go growl at the pile of ashes over there who tried to kill me." I pointed to the now-smoking embers. _(Note: Vampire bodies are _very_ flammable. Once they blaze out though, the fire ebbs quickly.)_

"Do we know who that was?" This came from Carlisle, who I hadn't even realized was there.

I looked around me. All of my vampire family was here, including Emmett, who looked put out because he hadn't been able to kill anything and Jasper, who seemed to be checking the perimeter to make sure no other dangers were lurking nearby.

"Nahuel?" Alice said. "What are you doing out here? Where's Huilen?"

I remembered Huilen was Nahuel's aunt and a vampire. She'd been with him the last time I'd seen him. As I recalled, they were rarely out of each other company.

Nahuel finally broke his attention from Jacob. "I was visiting my youngest sister, Jennifer, as I do from time to time. Huilen did not wish to accompany me. As she rarely desires to leave our home, I decided to travel alone this time." He gave a small shrug. "It is easier for me to blend into the human world without her anyway, and I do not plan to be gone too long."

"But, how did you come to be in South Dakota? Does Jennifer live near here?" Carlisle asked. "The last I heard, Joham was set on keeping her with him."

I knew the Joham they were talking about was Nahuel and Jennifer's father, a vampire scientist whose interest seemed to lie in creating his own race of half-vampires. At last count, he had three daughters and Nahuel. Unfortunately, his interest in his offspring lay more in scientific pursuits than any kind of paternal affection or duty.

"Joham is dead," Nahuel said.

"How?" Dad demanded.

"The Volturi."

Before anyone could ask anything further on this score, Jacob let out the howl to end all howls. Obviously, he had something to say. My father, able to read his thoughts, immediately replied, "Of course, her safety is a priority for me. But, you're right." He turned to the rest of us. "Jake had indicated a desire for us to move this conversation back to the safety of our compound in Castlewood."

As it was getting darker, the temperatures were dropping, and we still weren't sure if Constantine was the only threat around right then, we all agreed. As we ran, my family slowed their gaits in order to flank me on all sides. My parents ran to my right, Jacob to my left, Carlisle, Jasper, and Alice took the lead and all else brought up the rear with Nahuel. The hard expressions on all their faces made me groan. They were in super protective mode. I knew it was going to take me forever to calm them down in regards to what had almost happened today. I considered that for a moment. It was going to take me a little while to calm myself down as well. No doubt, I had earned their concern as well as the resulting overbearing reactions I was going to be facing when we got back. You could take away many things from the Cullen family, but if you threatened me, you'd have a cutthroat mob of bloodthirsty vampires knocking down your door in no time. It was as absolute as human death and taxes. I felt their love for me in their every action. Still, that didn't mean my life in the next few weeks was going to be a picnic. If I had any doubts on that score, they were ended by my father's words to me as soon as we collectively stopped near the garage.

"Nessie?"

"Yes, Dad?"

"You know, of course, you're grounded for the next month."

I didn't even try to argue. I'd broken the first rule of being allowed out on my own: Always remain vigilant for dangers. This mistake had nearly cost me my life. I had to be punished.

Jasper immediately added to my sentence. "You're going to start training with me again. Every day. Apparently, what you already know isn't enough."

"Uncle Jasper, I did the jaw cracking maneuver you taught me and—"

As if I hadn't spoken, Emmett jumped in. "We'll have to show her how to fight against groups as well. God knows, there might be more than one of them next time."

I turned to my mother to see if she would intervene. The fire in her eyes stopped the words forming in my mouth. "She's not allowed out alone. Hunting, running, any of that. Unless you're at school, Renesmee, you have to have at least two of us with you at all times. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Mom." I swallowed the irritation bubbling inside of me and bowed my head. I'd earned all of this, no matter how unfair it felt right now.

Esme hugged me to her and planted a kiss against my temple. "She is safe now. Let's go inside so we can assure Charlie and the others that all is well. I'm certain our abrupt departure was very upsetting and confusing to them."

"Yes," Carlisle agreed. "We can talk about this as a family tomorrow after everyone has calmed down. Nahuel? Will you accompany us inside? We can offer you some food and fresh clothing, and you can tell us of Joham and the Volturi."

"Thank you," Nahuel said, looking around at all of us as though he didn't quite know what to make of everything.

Everyone started heading toward the house, including me. However, a large wolf soon impeded my progress.

"Get out of the way, Jake. I'm cold and tired and would like to go inside."

He held his ground in front of me and let out a low, threatening growl. I could feel his condemnation and anger through our connection. It was too much. In that instant, what little bit patience I'd been exercising vanished. I had almost been killed because of my lack of attention _(so I was angry with myself for being thoughtless and stupid)._ My family had decided to do one of their group punishments for my screw up _(which was embarrassing and humbling—especially as it had taken place in front of Nahuel)._ And, to add insult to serious injury, now Jake thought he was going to keep me in the cold so he could bark at me? _Who does he think he is? I might have to put up with this out of the rest of them, but not him!_

I put my hands on my hips and glared at him for all he was worth. "I've already been punished enough. Besides, you're not the boss of me, wolfboy. Now move out of the way!"

Later, I realized that was my second major screw up of the day.

Before anyone could say or do anything, Jake changed from snarling werewolf to enraged man in about five seconds. Before I could even think of protesting, I was slung over one of his muscled shoulders and carried up the stairs to his apartment.

"Nessie and I are going to talk. If anyone tries to follow us, we're going to be minus a few bloodsuckers in this family." His tone left no doubt to his seriousness.

I was too angry to care. I began to struggle against him and beat at his back. When this did nothing to stop him, I decided to scream my head off. "Are you insane? What are you doing? Let me go, Jacob!"

I saw my father start toward us, but Mom's hand on his chest halted him. Everyone else just watched as we made it to the top of the stairs. Emmett and Jasper couldn't stop laughing, and Nahuel was gaping in shock.

"I mean it," I said, heaving another fist into my kidnapper's back.

He didn't even flinch as we made it into his apartment. Slamming the front door, he unceremoniously dumped me onto his couch. Before I could even right myself, Jacob had an arm bracketed on either side of my head, holding me in place much the same way he'd been holding Nahuel in wolf form. A standing lamp in the corner illuminated the room enough for me to see the anger contorting his face. I'd never seen him this way. Personally, I was becoming alarmed because I wasn't sure who this cave man masquerading as Jacob really was. In the silence of the living room, two things became very apparent to me. One, Jacob was the maddest I had ever seen him and two, he—

"You almost died, Nessie! How could you do something so reckless and stupid? You know you have to be alert when you go out. I should never have let you go anywhere without me." He pushed away from the couch and started pacing in front of it. He ranted and raved through a laundry list of my mistakes and sins from today. Actually, I wasn't sure what he was saying because it was too hard to pay attention. I couldn't stop watching him jerk back and forth, especially his—

"Are you listening to me? You'd better be listening. These are some harsh truths, but you need to hear them."

My eyes jolted to his face just as he resumed his lecture. At times, I wasn't sure if he was yelling at me or himself. However, that didn't mean I didn't take exception to the few words that managed to sink into my otherwise absorbed brain. _(Especially when he made some crack about me being selfish.)_

"How am I selfish? I—"

"Did I say you could speak?" he snarled at me before resuming his massive reprimand.

_OK_. Apparently, I wasn't allowed to have an opinion about this. Fuming, I settled against the couch and crossed my arms over my chest to wait for him to wind down. _I can't believe he's talking to me this way_, I told myself. _More importantly,_ _I can't believe he doesn't realize he's_—

"Do you have any questions?" Jacob asked, finally getting off his self righteous soap box.

I nodded, trying to keep my eyes locked on his. It was difficult, _very difficult_ considering the fact that he was so near now.

"Well?" he demanded. "Spit it out. What question do you have?"

I decided to start with the most obvious one. After all, I wasn't the only person here who needed to hear some harsh truths.

"Do you know you're naked?"


	19. Overwhelmed And Under Control

**Chapter Nineteen: Overwhelmed and Under Control**

"You're completely missing the point."

It took everything I had not to look down. After all, Jacob was standing before me completely naked. Whatever else I had done wrong today, I'd had certainly not missed the "point."

I bit my lip so I wouldn't laugh at my own mental joke. Humor was definitely _not_ going to help this situation. The man before me was more furious than I'd ever seen, his massive chest heaving mere centimeters from my mouth. The waves of desire I'd always felt in his presence ratcheted up to a major typhoon of lust. I wasn't sure if it was in reaction to his nudity or if I'd somehow come to like this caveman act of his. Whatever it was stirred something primal in my blood. It took all I had to resist the urge to reach out and touch him. _(He's exquisite. Adonis in the flesh. Oh. My. God. His body is brown and muscled _everywhere_, especially his—)_

I tried desperately to gain some measure of control over myself. Every instinct I had was begging me to kiss him, to take him as my own. I wanted him. I needed him. What was left of my willpower valiantly fought back. _No, this is getting out of hand. I should be mad at him for yelling at me like this. Who does he think he is? Focus somewhere else. Eyebrows. Yes, look at those! Eyebrows are in no way sexy._ My eyes centered on the curves of hair above his eyes. They were black, a little bushy, with one currently arched at me as if I'd lost my mind. Up close, it was really sensuous, that eyebrow. _Who would have thought—_

"Jesus," Jacob cried out hoarsely, seeming to finally pick up on my inability to focus on anything but his lack of clothing. Whether it was from my actions or the undiluted desire he was no doubt picking up through our connection, I wasn't sure. He snatched a throw from the couch and wrapped it around his torso.

I tried to battle back the majority of my feelings. I closed my eyes and laid my head against the couch, taking deep, calming breaths. I felt the heat of Jacob's hand softly graze from my cheek down my neck. My eyes shot open to stare up at him. _Does he not understand how close I am to losing it?_ His pupils were wild and dilated. He was gasping, too. His gaze was fierce and feral, like he wanted to devour me. _Yes_, I thought, _he understands perfectly._

He wasn't angry anymore. Jake was where I was, lost in a torrent of emotion. With the last of my strength, I jerked away from him. Pulling up my legs against my chest and wrapping my arms around them, I burrowed my head against my knees and tried to list reasons why giving in to my hunger for Jacob would be bad.

Unfortunately, I couldn't come up with a single one. The image of his body, the tangible passion in his expression wouldn't leave me alone long enough to think at all.

"Nessie." His voice was haggard like he was balancing Saturn on his shoulder.

I popped my head up to see Jacob stagger back from me across the room. We looked at each other. There was no looking away this time. I said nothing, just waited for him. I had no control here anymore. If he moved toward me again, if he took me in his arms right now, I would do whatever he wanted. I would be whatever he wanted. I knew that. It scared the heck out of me, but I accepted it. This wasn't about just me anymore. This was about him, about us, about something I couldn't even name.

The imprinting had me in its firm grasp, and I could do nothing but yearn and wait for Jacob. I was mindless with want, need, and so much more. I wanted him to hold me, to love me, to make the world go away. He could do that. I needed to do the same for him. Touching him was like air in my lungs, and I desperately needed to breathe. He only had to take one step. One, little step and my will would be lost forever.

Our connection was like a spigot turned wide open. The emotions poured freely in both directions. I could feel his anger, his fear for my safety, his determination that I must be kept from harm, his savage desire for me, and his overwhelming love. Just as much, I knew he could feel my earlier irritation with his highhandedness, my hopeless fervor for him, my wants, my loss of self-control, and my fear.

"Close your eyes," he groaned. "Do it now!"

I followed his command, letting his voice wash over me.

"I need you to think with me, Nessie. I can feel your fear. Can you feel it?"

It was so miniscule in comparison to everything else. My desire for him was a raging beast while my fear was a mere insect. But, I could still make it out. "Yes," I answered.

"Concentrate on that. Hang on to it or all is lost. You don't want this right now. Not really. Hang on to your fear."

I knew what he meant. That little drop of fear was all I had left of any decision in this. If I let it go, there would be no going back. Jake was trying to help me hang on. He was giving me a choice. I clutched at my fear, like a life preserver in a hurricane, and hung on for dear life.

Minutes, hours went by. I couldn't tell. Then, I heard him again. More than that, I felt him, the glowing warmth of something new emanating from him. I could feel him pushing it to me with all he was worth.

"Do you feel that?" he asked.

"Yes," I croaked.

"Grab hold of it. Don't let go. We're almost there. I've almost got this."

I could see it all behind my shuddered eyelids. The glowing rope of our connection, the rush of Jacob's golden energy surging toward me, filling me with hope, peace, and calm. I sighed as it wrapped around me.

"Take it, Nessie. Take it inside of you. It's the only way."

I did as he said. I enveloped the feeling until it became as much a part of me as my skin, my heart, and my soul. And, just like that, the spell overtaking me was broken. I felt everything that was me returning. The irritation I'd had before, the amusement, the shock of his nakedness, all of it. I was me again. I had control of this.

I opened my eyes. He was on the floor in the middle of the room. He'd fallen to his knees and was breathing like he'd run a million miles. I jumped off the couch to run toward him. "Jake! Are you OK?"

He held up a hand. "Stay back, Nessie," he said, keeping his eyes shut. "I need a few more minutes."

I closed my eyes again, trying to get a sense of what he was feeling. I wanted to help him as he had helped me, but I didn't know how. I could sense the rage of desire for me was ebbing in him, but, though it was becoming dormant, it was still there. Within a few more moments, he slumped against his legs, depleted. I ran to his side, falling to my knees so I could be with him.

"Are you—What was _that_?" I reached out to take his face in mine, to make him look at me so I could see for myself that he was all right.

Even though his eyes were still closed, he blocked my hands from touching him like he knew what I was going to do before I did it. I said nothing, waiting for him to act. I was scared, scared of the sheer enormity of what had just happened, scared because of what he'd just done to make it all go away. How had he done it? What had he done? What exactly had happened here?

His breathing slowed and, finally, his eyes opened. We stared at each other for a long while. I could feel my worry, my confusion intermingling with his exhaustion and, lightly seasoning everything, an overbearing sadness I couldn't understand. _Is that my sadness or his?_ I pondered that for a little bit before the answer became clear. _I__t's his._

"What was that?" I repeated.

"_That_ was the imprinting, Nessie. You—me—both of our actions tonight opened it."

"Wasn't it already open?"

"No, the connection was put in place the night of your birth. It was awakened on your side that day … in your bedroom."

I knew he was talking about the first day when he'd almost kissed me. "But it was always awake on your side?" I asked, trying to understand.

He nodded. "But, tonight, the connection was opened."

I stared at him in disbelief. "What does that even mean? How is it different from awakening?"

"It means that not only will I sense all the large emotions that you feel, but you will likewise be able to do so with me."

"I could already do that before."

"Sometimes you could. Now, you _always_ will."

I didn't like hearing that, but I could tell there was more. "What else?"

"It means I'll always know where you are now, just as you will always innately know where I am. It means—" He flinched, as though he didn't want to finish his sentence.

"It means. . .?" I pressed, needing to know. I could feel his fear like it was my own, his dread at telling me. "Jacob, say it, please!" I grabbed at his shoulders.

He sighed, knowing he had no choice in the matter. "It means you and I are one step closer to being one, Nessie, whether you like it or not."


	20. The Choice

**Chapter Twenty: The Choice**

My world, as I knew it, was over.

Everything holding me upright collapsed. My butt smacked against the carpeted floor as my legs lay curled uselessly around me. I wanted to scream a denial at Jacob, to hit him, to somehow force him to recant his statement. But, it was useless. He was telling me the truth. I didn't even need our connection to know that.

"It'll be all right, darlin'," he soothed, reaching for me.

I jerked back. I couldn't let him touch me. Things go crazy when he touches me. He dropped his hands and sat down, crossing his legs under the blanket sarong he was wearing. It seemed like a million years ago when he'd been nakedly pacing as he ranted and raved at me. So much had happened since. But, as quickly as I realized that, I realized nothing had really changed at all.

"I never had a choice in this, did I?"

My pain and hopelessness was so reflected in his eyes that it was as though I was looking into a mirror. He gave a harsh sigh. "There's always a choice, Nessie. Sometimes it's like choosing between the devil and deep blue sea, but you still get to decide."

I shook my head in disdain. "I was damned from the moment you first looked at me."

A faint grin tugged at the corner of his mouth. "I used to think the same thing about you."

"What?" I asked, a little taken aback.

"I know it's easy to believe I accepted this imprinting from day one, but it's not true. Even if I hadn't wanted to kill you that first night, my ideal future would not have been spent around the woman I used to want, her husband, and their screwball family of bloodsuckers. I resisted our connection at every turn. Then, you'd walk up to me, with your sweet face, your endless questions about anything and everything, and the immense . . ." He paused. "Jubilation. Yep, that's the right word. The immense jubilation you've always had that came from just living. One minute around you and I'd be grinning like an idiot for no reason. And, then you'd ask me to play a game or beg me to tell you one of the stories from my tribe or demand I teach you something and I'd find myself doing it, simply so I could see you smile. The joy I had from just being in the same room with you was too hard to resist. So, yes, Nessie. More than once, I've thought myself damned to follow you for eternity like a lapdog—merely to make you happy."

I opened my mouth to say something. I wasn't sure if I was going to apologize for the imprinting or berate him for trying to imply this was my fault. He held up a hand to stop my words.

"In the beginning, Nessie, I resented you—not just the imprinting. You. My father, my sisters, my werewolf brothers, and my pack will all live and die natural lives. Yet, because I imprinted on a half-vampire, I'm immortal. As long as I stay around vampires, I'll always feel the instinct to change into a werewolf. As long as I continue to shift on a regular basis, I'll never age, never die. I didn't want that. I never wanted it. But, still there you were, beckoning me to follow you into forever with a little crook of your finger and laughter lighting your eyes. And, resentment or not, I did it. It didn't take me long to figure out I'd do anything for you. I had to accept the concept pretty quickly. But, it doesn't mean it wasn't a tough pill to swallow."

His words sliced through me. I was glad he was telling me this, but the truth of it was still painful. I hated that he was practically a slave to my wants and needs, had always been one.

"Why didn't you leave?"

"I tried to, many times. Once, I even got away for three whole days. But, inevitably, my thoughts returned to you and I would come back. Did you need something? Would you miss me? Who would be there to protect you, to make you laugh, to con you into drinking animal blood over human? You needed me, and I needed you to need me."

I grinned at the memory of him conning me into drinking animal blood. After my birth, I'd been fed human donor blood Carlisle'd gotten from a blood bank. But that couldn't last. So, my family had tried to coax me into switching to animal blood or human food. I hadn't really liked either. (Think having to eat tofu when you've always had filet mignon.) I accepted the concept that I shouldn't bite humans pretty easily. But, even as a small child, I didn't understand why they couldn't just keep giving me the donor blood. This led to many lengthy debates between me and my father and between me, my father, and Carlisle. Jake changed everything by taking me on hunting trips in the woods. He would turn these trips into great contests of sport. Who can bring down their prey the fastest? (Something we still enjoy doing from time to time.) His games helped me learn to cope. (He also usually let me win when I was younger. Now, I regularly trounce him all on my own.)

"So, the connection forced you to come back, huh?" I asked, hating the imprinting more than ever before.

"No," Jacob countered. "I mean, I felt you inside me. You were always so cheerful, so jubilant. It was like a drug to me, your happiness. Yet, it was also more than that. It fed something inside me, something I hadn't known existed. It was hard not to be around you. But, that's not the reason I stayed. If it was just that, I could have found the will to walk away sooner or later."

"Then, why did you stay?"

"When you were around two-years-old, we'd just moved to Brazil. I hated it. It was so different from everything I was used to. I had a hard time fitting in, not just because of the newness of everything and the different climate, but also because of the language barrier and the fact that I was constantly surrounded by vampires. Even though I didn't hate the Cullens or want to hurt them, it didn't change the fact that I was a werewolf and they're vampires. Natural mortal enemies isn't something that just goes away, you know.

"So, I was sitting in my room, trying to study for my GED exam because Edward wouldn't stop hounding me about the importance of education. In case you're curious, you get quite a bit of your stubbornness from him as well as your mom."

I laughed at the beleaguered expression on his face and leaned back on my hands, unable to believe I was so relaxed now.

"Anyway, I was working from this practice booklet, and I was frustrated because I'd gotten the right answer to this math problem, but Carlisle and Edward wouldn't give me full credit if I didn't show my work. I couldn't show my work because I didn't understand the equations, I just instinctively knew the answer. I also didn't want to admit that to anyone. So, I was pretty much cussing a blue streak in the room by myself when you walked in. You were little, looked like you were about six or seven, and you came up to me, taking my big hand in yours. 'What's wrong with my Jacob?' you asked. Before I could even stop myself, I told you I felt like an idiot because I couldn't understand the math problems. You immediately got angry. You chewed me out for a solid ten minutes, telling me I wasn't an idiot, and abruptly left the room, taking my booklet with you. I wasn't sure what to make of that. I just kind of sat there, stunned. You'd never talked like that to anyone. I didn't know what to think.

"Thirty minutes later, you came back. You pulled yourself into my lap, took my pencil and started showing me how to solve the problems. You took me through things, again and again, step by step. At first, I was in shock. How had you picked it up so fast? I assume it had to do with the vampire side of you, but, you wouldn't let me think about it long. You wanted me to learn. And, unlike the times that Edward or Carlisle had worked with me, you taught differently. You broke the problem down into its base components and showed me how to put them all together, like a car. Everything suddenly clicked in my head. When you were confident I understood, you jumped down from my lap and left the room."

I remembered what he was talking about. "You were unhappy and confused. I'd never seen you that way, and I was scared. I knew Dad and Papa Carlisle wouldn't be able to help you. So, I took the booklet into my room and taught myself how to do the equations. Dad and the rest had already started teaching me so many things already, it didn't take me long to figure it out. I knew you so well. I guess that's how I knew how to teach you."

He nodded. "Exactly. You just instinctively understood what I needed."

"But that could have been the imprinting at work."

He shook his head. "I told you before. The connection was made that first night, but it wasn't awakened on your side until the day we were talking about Derek in your bedroom. There's no way you picked up on what I was feeling about math or what I needed then through our connection. You knew what to do because you knew me. You knew me. You saw my need and you filled it. End of story."

"But, Jake—"

He interrupted me. "Over the next few weeks you did it again and again. You pulled me more and more into family happenings. You'd stage game nights and have all of us laughing over Monopoly and Sorry. You got Alice to sneak clothes into my closet so I'd feel more like part of the family. You got Jasper to teach me Spanish and Emmett to come to me about a dent he accidentally put in Rosalie's car. And, you did a million other things. Slowly but surely, Renesmee Cullen, you made a home for a lonely werewolf in a nest of vampires. It was a miracle. You were a miracle. Not the imprinting. You."

I looked down at the carpet at my feet, embarrassed because I knew the truth. I couldn't let him go on thinking I was so perfect when I wasn't. "It wasn't like that. You were unhappy, and I didn't want to lose you. I didn't do it for you, Jacob. I did it for me because I was selfish and I wanted to keep you. You were mine. I wasn't going to give you up."

"Well, I certainly know that feeling."

My eyes slammed back to his. He grinned at me and shrugged unapologetically. "The point to all of this is, from that moment on, I wasn't going anywhere. Whatever else was happening, you and I belonged together. There was no denying it. I had faith that, whatever problems we would face in the future, whatever sacrifices I had to make, we'd work it out. I didn't love you then, not like I do now. Not like a man loves a woman. But, I liked you. I liked everything about you. You were such fun to be around. Just watching you experience new things, your spunky little determination when you took on a challenge, and the way you just accepted everyone and everything around you with open arms—these aren't easy traits to find. I told myself I was just going to be here as long as it took for you to grow up and then I would just see what happened. Then, about a year ago, I realized I was in love with you."

"What changed? Was it a flash? Did I do something?"

"I'm not sure if it was anything anyone did. Maybe I'd already been coming to that conclusion for a while. I don't know. All I remember is one day I was waiting for you to grow up and the next I found myself deeply in love with you. It wasn't a lightning bolt or a thunder clap. I guess you could say it was more like stepping slowly into a warm bath. It was safe and soothing and just. . . right. I was meant to love you, Renesmee Cullen. I was born to love you. It's not the stuff of soap operas or romance novels, but it's still the truth."

I looked away as tears welled in my eyes. _What can you say to that?_ I wished I could have thrown myself into his arms, told him I loved him too, and kissed him. But, he was right, this isn't a novel or a movie. This is my life. And, as much truth as Jacob had given, he deserved no less from me. I wouldn't proclaim feelings I wasn't sure about simply to make him feel better.

Yet, with as much as I knew he did love me and wanted me to love him back, his actions tonight did beg one, big question. I turned back to him. "Why didn't you let it happen?"

"Let what happen?"

"The imprinting took control over me tonight. If you'd just stepped forward, I would have been yours for the taking, Jacob. There wouldn't have been any going back. I could feel it. You could've had everything you wanted." A tear spilled over the rim of my eyelid to run down my cheek.

"I don't want you like that." He lifted a hand to brush my tear away. "No, when you become mine fully, it'll be your decision. I'll do everything in my power to see to that. I can't undo the imprinting and I can't leave you, but I can give you as much of a choice in this as it's possible for me to give."

"How much choice is there even left for me to have? How much longer is it going to be before the imprinting takes us over again? I can't control the feelings it forces on me, or my actions."

Jake took my face in my hands. "You're one hard-headed woman. You don't listen. I've told you the imprinting doesn't make us feel anything we don't already feel."

"How can you say that after tonight? What was that if it wasn't the imprinting pushing feelings on us?"

He leaned forward and lightly kissed me. "I want you, Nessie," he whispered against my mouth. "I crave you, all the time. If I had a nickel for every fantasy I've had about you, I'd have about a billion nickels by now. It never leaves me. The feeling would be there anyway, even without the imprinting." His mouth grazed the side of my cheek and eased downward.

My eyes closed as I melted into him, tilting my head to give him better access. He brushed his lips against my collar bone and back up my neck. The swirl of emotion in my belly was making me dizzy and fearful at the same time. The fear made me stiffen. "But, I don't want this," I said with all the strength I had left.

"Liar," Jake murmured with a low chuckle. He planted a series of warm kisses along my jaw line, until he'd nipped my earlobe gently between his teeth. I moaned softly in response. "You want me too. You burn for me."

He released me and pulled back. Instinctively, I moved with him before remembering what a bad idea that was. (Didn't I learn anything from before?) My concern of the imprinting taking me over again kept me firmly on my side of the carpet. Jake watched me, his dark eyes seeming pleased he'd proven his point. I flushed under his scrutiny. Suddenly, I felt like the naked one. I shook my head to regain my senses. The connection was humming between us, but it was still controllable. I aimed to keep it that way.

"Believe me, darlin', your desire for me is something I'm pretty happy about most days. But, tonight, it made everything a little more complicated."

"How?" I demanded. I needed some answers here. None of this made sense. One minute I'd been my usual self and the next I was a mindless, wanton zombie willing to do whatever he wanted. _(That certainly wasn't my doing!)_ "If the imprinting didn't make us feel that way, then what exactly happened tonight?"

"I'm not sure. As far as I can understand it, the imprinting likes to give us exactly what we both desperately want."

"I didn't want that."

He narrowed his eyes at me. "Didn't you? You're telling me you weren't ogling me the whole time I was giving you hell and pacing in front of you without a stitch on?"

Every drop of blood in my body was suddenly in my face. "You'd been naked for several minutes, buddy. I had control of everything. The connection had other ideas."

He laughed. "No, Nessie. I was too angry at you for risking your life—Don't think we're done discussing that yet, either— to notice my lack of clothing or to be aware of your desire for me. By the time I was aware, it was almost too late."

"What do you mean?"

"I wanted you, and you wanted me. We both wanted what almost happened here tonight. We wanted it more than anything else in that moment. That's what I mean."

"You're talking in circles now. Are you trying to say we did that?"

He nodded. "That's exactly what I'm saying. The connection between us opened tonight because we were both feeling the same intense emotion at the same time. By opening, it caused all the desire I was feeling for you to spill into you and all the desire you had for me to spill into me. That is why you felt so overwhelmed. You were feeling my feelings and yours at the same time. I was doing the same thing."

"But how were you able to stop it? What did you do?"

"I knew the only way to stop it was to get us thinking about other things. I got you focused on your fear of giving into the bond. Then, I set about gathering up every bit of calm I could muster while shoving away everything else. It nearly killed me, but I did it."

"Is that the energy you sent to me? How did you do that? How did you even know how to do it?"

Jake considered this for a moment. "I'm not sure. As far as I know, the others who've imprinted haven't encountered this problem before."

I knew he could see what his pack brothers had felt in their own imprintings because he was inside their heads when they all communicated. No doubt, this was how Seth knew so much about what was going on between Jacob and I._ (I'm still going to kill him for siccing Anna on me, though.)_

"Our imprinting, Nessie, is so different from what they've experienced, different even from what the tribal elders know." He watched me carefully, as though he was gauging my reaction. "I think we're embarking on uncharted territory here."

"Great," I muttered. _(I'm stuck with Imprinting 2.0 and no user manual.) _

"Of course," Jake continued, "it probably has something to do with you being a half-vampire. I'm not sure how that's affecting all of this. I just knew you didn't want to give in to me tonight. I wanted you to have a choice. So, I pushed my calm at you to stop the desire that was holding you captive."

"And you gave me a choice." I waited for his answer, knowing innately it going to change my world forever. Again.

"Yes," he replied, solemnly. "As long as I live, Nessie, you'll always have a choice. This I swear."

And, with that, I fell hopelessly in love with Jacob Black.


	21. Blessings

**Chapter Twenty-One: The Blessing**

_I'm in love with Jacob Black._

Even thinking it was too much. I felt like I'd been walking miles on some kind of epic journey, only to open my eyes and find I'd been on a treadmill the whole time. Maybe I'd always been in love with Jacob, maybe I'd merely been too blind to see it before, maybe I wasn't mature enough to see it until now, maybe I wasn't mature enough to fully grasp Jacob's feelings for me until now. All I knew for certain was that the minute he vowed to move heaven and earth to make sure I had a choice in this crazy conundrum we were in, I knew he really understood me, really saw me, really loved _me_. He was a strong, kind, loving man. He was _my_ strong, kind, loving man. He was everything I could ever want, ever need.

It was like his heart sent out an electronic pulse and mine answered it. _(Yep, just like Mom said, but much more complex and simple at the same time.)_ It was like finally coming home after being away for years. It was fate and destiny and so much more wrapped up into one.

It was weird to admit it, but Jacob was right. Falling in love isn't always a thunderclap or a jolt of lightning. Sometimes, love just slowly ushers its way into your heart, softly and tenderly. That was what it was like to love Jacob. Loving him was a relief, a comfort, a blessing, and a wonder, all in one. Honestly, I'd never been happier in my life.

I'd also never been more frightened.

Yep, even staring down death at the hands of Constantine wasn't as scary as right now was. _(Note: True love ain't for sissies.)_

"Are you all right?" Jacob asked, reaching out to touch my shoulder.

I shrugged him off as I shot to my feet. Just because I acknowledged my feelings didn't mean I was ready to confess them. I was in love with Jacob. I_ really_ loved him, but couldn't say it out loud yet. Once those three, little words left my mouth, there'd be no going back. I'd be fully into this, my future would be decided, and the imprinting would own me. I wasn't ready to surrender to any of that because I wasn't sure what I'd be losing in the process. My dreams? My identity? My free will? Even though I knew Jake would fight tooth and nail to make sure I had a choice, I wasn't sure if my giving in to all of this would somehow change that. After all, the imprinting would rule both of us completely. _Wouldn't it?_ I knew Jacob had said it didn't control us, but I also remembered how my desire had completely taken me over. That felt like control, and it was the imprinting's fault. I knew it. It had to be. _Right?_

I wasn't sure anymore. I needed to figure this out on my own. I needed time to come to terms with it.

"I should go back to the house," I said, not meeting Jake's gaze. _(If I look him in the eye, he's going to know I love him and I'm toast.) _I walked toward the front door before turning back toward him. "The family will be out here to check on us soon. I'm surprised they even let me come up with you."

As he stood, I noticed that the blanket around his waist was riding dangerously low on his hips. I began an intense study of my shoes. Now was not the time for distractions.

"They know we belong together. They've always known it. They're respecting our privacy, darlin'."

I ignored the shiver of pleasure his new endearment gave me. "Jacob, you just threw me over your shoulder and carried me to your apartment. . . naked. Even in this family, there's only going to be so long before they interrupt. The only reason they haven't come up here yet is they've probably been outside listening to the whole thing." The mere idea of that made me blanch. _Nope, not thinking about that_, I told myself. I had enough to deal with.

"Nessie, what's wrong? I can feel your fear. You were fine a few minutes ago and now you're freaking out over something. What is it?"

_Dang you, connection!_ This imprinting thing was becoming more irritating by the hour. Pretty soon, privacy was going to be an unattainable dream. _(With my family, it's already pretty hard to come by.) _

"I'm fine," I assured him as I opened the door. "I'll just run inside to let everyone know I'm OK." I stepped outside and began to pull the door closed behind me.

"I'll go with you," he said, walking toward me.

I stopped, my eyes finally shooting up to meet his. "No." It came out a little more abrupt than I intended.

He looked at me, hurt and annoyed. "And why is that?" He edged closer.

I needed to get away from him. _Now._ I was two seconds from blurting everything out, kissing him, and forgetting all about the consequences and the imprinting_. _So,I went for the obvious just to shut him up. "You're still naked, remember?"

Before he could reply, I pulled the door closed behind me and scurried down the stairs. I'd deal with Jacob later, after I got this impossible situation resolved. _If it's even possible to resolve._ Right now, everything seemed hopeless and unbearable.

The yard was empty. Even from the garage, I could hear the din of voices coming from my family inside the house. There was a football game on. I could hear Emmett groan in response to some team scoring a point. I could smell roast beef, mashed potatoes, green beans, and—unless I missed my guess—Rosalie's homemade honey butter biscuits.

Esme, Rosalie, and Alice appreciated having humans here as it meant they could utilize their underused culinary skills. Rosalie and Esme had greatly enjoyed cooking when they'd been human and loved how modern kitchen inventions now made once difficult or time-consuming tasks easier.Alice, on the other hand, was the type who couldn't resist the fun of a good challenge. The mission of making food mouthwatering for someone when you couldn't taste it yourself was tricky enough to tempt her. _(Think about how much you need to taste food as you are cooking it and you'll get what I'm talking about.)_

As I usually prefer to ingest blood over eating food, they don't do much cooking for me. _(But, they've still taught me a couple of culinary tricks of the trade. For example, I can make a mean chocolate croissant.)_ Charlie's visits usually became a catalyst for an epic cook-off where the three women tried to outdo each other to see who could make the most delectable dish. Charlie, as the head judge in this endeavor, always complained that he gained twenty pounds by the end of every visit, but it was easy to see that he still loved every minute of it. I could already imagine the copious banquet that was going to be on our table tomorrow for Thanksgiving.

I walked closer to the front porch, trying to prepare myself for when I saw everyone. To mask my fear of the imprinting, I concentrated on the near-death attack earlier. The last thing I needed was Jasper, Dad, or any of the rest of them picking up on my feelings for Jacob and my issues with our connection right now. I didn't want to talk about this with any of them. I wanted to come to terms with it myself.

"Nessie."

My body tightened. I softly cursed my screwed up instincts for failing me once again. How could I not have sensed him sitting there on the porch swing? How could I not have considered that he would be waiting for me? The outside lights on the roof of the house had blinded me slightly, casting the porch completely in shadow. But, still, I should have known he was there.

"Hi, Dad," I said, stepping up onto the porch.

I could see him easily now. His lanky body was indolently resting on the wide wooden swing suspended by chains on our porch. He got up in one, smooth motion, hardly disturbing the swing at all. I'd always been amazed and envious at his effortless grace. It was a vampiric attribute I didn't share.

"I've been waiting for you."

"Thanks for letting me and Jake talk uninterrupted. We needed to iron some things out. I know it couldn't have been easy for you—especially with Jake tossing me over his shoulder like that." _(I figured it was better not to mention the nakedness.)_

He stared out over the white porch railing and out into the night. "You're right, but, as your mother has reminded me a lot over these last few months, I would have done much the same thing once upon a time. Men in love aren't the most rational of beings."

"Yes." I didn't know what else to say. I wasn't sure where this was going.

"Of course," he said, letting out a heavy breath, "women in love aren't much better."

My eyes caught his. _He knows._ I shouldn't have been surprised, but I was. "Dad—"

"It's OK. We don't have to talk about it right now. I know you still have a lot you need to work out in your head. I just wanted you to know that I accept it. I accept him. Jacob's always been a good man, even when he was vying for your mother I had to acknowledge that. It's always been obvious to anyone with eyes how much he adores you. Now, that adoration has become everything I could ever dream of having for my daughter. Jacob deserves you, and I won't try to interfere anymore. I wanted you to know that."

I was overwhelmed. Dad was trying to help by giving me this blessing, but it was only making things worse. My feelings for Jacob were as much a part of me as my legs or skin, but I'd still managed to keep the pull of the imprinting at bay. My father's words were causing me to lose ground on that score rapidly. I felt like I was being catapulted into my destiny whether I wanted to go or not. Panic abounded.

Dad walked over to me, taking me in his arms. Lightly kissing my forehead, he swayed us slightly back and forth, almost like we were dancing. I slipped my arms around his waist, buried my face in his chest, and held on for dear life. Everything I'd been holding inside let go. All the fear, the worry, the panic—all of it. Tears came. I let them. Dad said nothing as he held me. He just rubbed his hand reassuringly against my back.

I wept until there were no more tears left. I cried because I'd almost died; I cried because I had such a wonderful, understanding family who would die for me in an instant's notice; I cried because I had the love of a man I, most times, wasn't worthy of; I cried because I was surrounded by people who patiently let me figure things out on my own; I cried because I loved Jacob, but I was too much of a coward to tell him; I cried because a stupid imprinting was making my life a living hell; and I cried because there was nothing I could do about it right now _but_ cry.

Dad remained silent as I soaked his shirt in tears. When I was done, I kept my wet face against his chest, so tired I could sleep for weeks. The scent of him, so pleasantly sweet, was an innate comfort to me. His arms around me, the slight rocking of our bodies, his hand patting my hair, all were things I desperately needed.

I sighed. Strangely enough, no matter my exhaustion, my abundance of emotions, or the flood of tears, I began to feel better. Everything suddenly seemed less threatening, less overwhelming. I was strengthened, rejuvenated, and reassured. My problems were still there, waiting for me to step away from my father. But, right here, right now, they couldn't touch me.

We stood there for a long time before I finally pulled away, using the back of my hands to wipe away the traces of my tears.

"We should go inside," I said.

He nodded, not moving toward the door. He watched me dry my face, his eyes never leaving mine. His expression was intense and firm. "You're going to have to tell Jacob the truth, Nessie. He's the only one who can truly help you with the imprinting. But, you have to tell him you love him first. He deserves to know."

I opened my mouth to argue with him, to explain all my reasons why holding off was a better option, but I couldn't make myself form the words. Dad was right. I knew it. Jacob deserved to know.

"I will tell him," I finally answered. "Soon."

And I would.

Soon.


	22. Food For Thought

**Chapter Twenty-Two: Food for Thought**

"Soon" turned into "a lot later" the minute we opened the front door.

There was a thick, almost tangible air of tension inside the house. Mom, Rosalie, and Alice appeared at our sides as Dad and I entered the living room. Not a one of them wore a smile. Jasper and Emmett weren't watching the game on the television. Instead, they were watching us.

Something was definitely wrong.

"There's food at the table, Nessie," Mom said, her eyes only on Dad. "Go eat some."

Her firm, maternal tone brooked no argument. It wouldn't have mattered if I had wanted to protest anyway. Rosalie immediately began tugging me into the dining room where Charlie, Sue, Seth, and Anna were finishing up their dinner. _(FYI: I was right about the honey butter biscuits.) _

I got there just in time to see Esme bring out a long baking dish full of steaming peach cobbler with a golden brown crust. Conversations in the room ceased long enough for the humans to admire the dessert as it was placed in the middle of the table.

I wasn't certain where Carlisle and Nahuel were, which made me wonder whether the source of the evening's tension was connected to the other half-vampire in residence. _(I briefly considered it might have to do with the attack on me earlier, but the fact that my human family didn't appear as strained as my vampire one told me this had to do with something else entirely.)_ As I remembered Nahuel mentioning his father's death as well as how the Volturi were somehow involved, I became positive the Cullen family freak-out was due to him.

Normally, the Cullens rarely panic over anything. With more than a thousand years of living between them, they've pretty much seen it all. The only exception to the no-panic rule: The Volturi Coven. Not only is the Volturi the main governing force of all vampires, but there was also a time when the entire reigning coven descended upon our family with the intentions of doing one thing:

Destroying me.

When I was born, nobody was quite sure what to make of me. It's not like anyone in my family knew anything about half-vampires. At what rate would I grow and mature? What vampire abilities did I have versus human ones? How could I drink blood and yet still have a heartbeat? Would I age? What would my lifespan be like? Was I mortal or immortal? No one knew the answers to these questions—not even Carlisle, who's been alive almost four hundred years, had this knowledge.

One day, a vampire named Irina took one look at me from a distance and believed she'd seen an immortal child, which is a human child who's been transformed into a vampire. The primary issue with these beings is that they don't mentally mature as they age. Thus, if a child is two-years-old when he's changed, he acts like a two-year-old for eternity. _(Imagine how homicidal a toddler's temper tantrum could be if you added vampire powers and a thirst for blood to the mix.)_ As the first rule of our world is that secrecy must be maintained at all costs, one could easily understand why the Volturi could not allow immortal children to remain in existence. It would also be easy to understand how one could look at a younger me, with my pale complexion and superhuman abilities, and instantly think "child vampire."

And so—long story short—Irina told the Volturi, who soon showed up _en masse_ in Forks. There were other, more political factors at stake for the Volturi as well. The Cullen's expanding coven of vampires with unparalleled powers was the chief among these. In addition to Jasper, my father, and Alice having unique gifts, my mother is also what is known as a shield. Basically, this means she can block those with mental powers from harming her or those around her. My father can't even read her mind unless she allows him to. _(The only one she can't mentally keep out is me. But, seeing as how I can only show her images or memories in her mind, I don't count myself as special or anything.)_

As a whole, our family was viewed as a threat to the Volturi's absolute control over vampires. A standoff between all parties ensued, which included every werewolf from Jacob's tribe. But, in the end, Alice and Jasper had managed to find Nahuel and his aunt and bring them as witness to the Volturi that half-vampires would in no way lift the veil of secrecy shrouding the vampire world from humans. Nahuel had stood in testament to the fact that I would be an immortal. _(As he was over one hundred and fifty at the time.)_ He also explained that I would grow and mature like a human, but at a much faster rate _(until I reached about seven, when I would stop changing completely.) _Thus, the Volturi had no choice but to spare my family and I. _(They're also a bunch of bullies who rely on their guards various mental abilities to do the bulk of their dirty work for them. With someone like Mom on our side, they were left pretty much running scared after that.)_

While I was thinking about Nahuel, I made a note to get him away from the others for a little private chat before he left us. _(After all, when am I ever going to get another shot to pick the brain of someone just like me? I still have a million questions about half-vampires.) _

In any case, being spared didn't mean my family relaxed where the Volturi were concerned. In fact, it's the major reason I was taught to defend myself from the time I was a small child. This was also the reason I knew those once biweekly lessons were going to become a daily torturous occurrence starting tomorrow. _(I saw the look in Jasper's eyes. He's going to be relentless and go overboard in my training this time. My muscles are already aching just thinking about it.)_

Yes, whatever was wrong here had everything to do with the Volturi, I'd bet my immortal existence on it.

"Nessie!" Charlie said, getting up from his chair to bear hug me as I entered the dining room. "Are you all right? I heard about you being attacked. Were you hurt? Bells said you weren't and I've always assumed you were pretty near unbreakable, but I still—What took you so long to get inside?"

"Grandpa, I'm fine," I said wearily as I allowed myself to be smushed against his chest. "I'm unharmed and hungry. Can we postpone the interrogation until I eat?" I wasn't really hungry, but eating was better than dealing with incessant questions about the attack. Besides, it seemed like it happened a million years ago in light of what was happening right now. Charlie reluctantly let me go so I could take a seat, the determined set of his jaw telling me our discussion on the matter wasn't canceled, merely postponed.

Esme dished up some food and placed it in front of me. I murmured a hasty thanks and started cutting into the roast beef, ignoring the inquiring eyes of my fellow dinner companions. Rosalie set a glass of lemonade beside my plate and gave me a quick kiss on the top of my head before fluttering off to pull more biscuits out of the oven. After a few minutes of silence, talk slowly resumed all around. Charlie and Sue had a low, heated discourse at one end of the table about the possibility of me coming to stay at the reservation for a while to ensure my safety. _(I could kick myself for not paying attention to my surroundings. Now, Charlie's going overboard about the attack, too! Ugh! I'm going to have a time talking him out of that idea later.)_

Meanwhile, Seth and Anna resumed a debate they were having about plans for their upcoming nuptials in March. _(Dressing a bunch of Native American werewolves in kilts for the wedding is a bad idea. But, as I didn't want to see Anna start crying again, I kept this opinion firmly to myself. Besides, Seth's going to cave anyway. As Jacob is supposed to be Seth's best man, the image of my werewolf dressed in a knee-length, pleated skirt is hilarious. I only hoped to be in the room when Seth finally gives Jake the "good news.")_

Since I figured keeping my concentration firmly directed on dinner would prevent me from being pulled into either of these conversations, I did just that. I'd taken my third bite by the time I felt Jacob enter the house. _(It's weird I can do that now.) _It took him a while to come into the dining room. I figured it was because my parents were cluing him in on whatever was going on here. Irritation flared and was added to the anxiety already gripping my abdomen. Someone needed to give me the details_. Fast. Now._ I stiffened and looked over when Jake sat down next to me.

He said nothing as he filled his plate. He'd exchanged his blanket sarong for some blue jeans and a black, vintage Aerosmith t-shirt. My love for Jacob flared at just the sight of him and the heat of his thigh next to mine was a comfort to me. I ignored both of these feelings in favor of being nosy. Leaning in close, I whispered, "Jake, what's going on?"

"Soon," he said, digging into his mashed potatoes.

I plowed through my food, finishing the roast beef and the lemonade before pushing the plate away to declare myself done. I declined dessert and rose from the table, intent on cornering my parents to find out for myself what had happened. Jacob's hand shot out to grab my arm.

"Stay here," he gruffly ordered, the expression on his face not one I wanted to cross. I probably would have taken offense to his highhanded manner had I not been able to feel the anger rolling off of him as well as fear and . . . _jealousy?_ That last one made no sense to me.

I plopped back into my seat, confusion now added to the list of emotions I was feeling. Rosalie cleared away my plate, refilled my glass, and set a bowl of cobbler in front of me. I stared at it, wishing I was the kind of person who could eat my problems away. Unfortunately, I wasn't. Even a pint of fresh human blood couldn't make me feel better right now.

Ten minutes later, the rest of my family filed into the dining room led by Carlisle and Nahuel. I thought I'd feel better just seeing them, but I didn't. The tight, drawn faces of my parents, Carlisle, Alice, and my uncles fueled my worry to gargantuan proportions. Even Charlie and the rest seemed to finally catch on to the sense that something was _very_ wrong here.

"Carlisle," Charlie said, his brown eyes widening. "What's going on?"

"There's something the whole family should know about. Everyone, sit down," Carlisle calmly replied, taking his place at the head of the table.

Even though our family didn't eat meals the way human families do, the dining room table was still big enough to accommodate everyone and then some._ (This had always been important in the past-especially when we'd play larger-than-life, week-long games of Monopoly and Phase 10.)_

Once everyone was seated. Carlisle turned the floor over to Nahuel, who had remained standing at the head of the table.

The half-vampire's light brown skin shown in brilliance under the soft glow of the dining room lights, and his impossibly black hair was long and wound into a thick braid that coiled down his back. As we waited, Nahuel's eyes roved over the table and its occupants, seeming to try to absorb everything and everyone all at once. His gaze roosted for a bit on Mom before coming to rest on me. I felt Jacob's jealousy spike and reached under the table to take his warm hand in mine. I was sure he was overreacting. Nahuel was no doubt as curious about me as I was about him. After all, we were the same rare species. It was natural to be curious.

"As some of you may or may not know," Nahuel began, at last taking his eyes off me, "I'm half-vampire. My mother was a human named Pire. My father was a vampire named Joham. Joham was a scientist with an insatiable thirst for knowledge. When he discovered it was possible for him to impregnate human females to produce a human-vampire hybrid, he set about conducting experiments to see what else he could learn. Before long, his main focus became trying to develop what he alleged to be a new master race."

"Master race?" Emmett echoed. "How can half-vampires ever be considered a master race? They're not as strong or as fast as vampires."

I, too, wondered about this. Beside me, Jacob pulled our laced hands onto his knee and squeezed tight.

Nahuel continued as though Emmett hadn't spoken. "Through Joham's experiments, my three sisters and I were created. Our births killed our delicate human mothers, of course, but Joham thought little of this. These women were nothing but a means to an end for him, even though each one of the women believed themselves in love. Over time, he tried to get other male vampires to follow his example so he could study how two non-genetically linked hybrids would react with each other. He wished to know if they would be able to mate and produce offspring, what this offspring would be like, and many other things of that nature.

"Unfortunately for Joham, the other vampires he persuaded to go along with his plans did not have the required patience or stamina to see the deed done without killing their partners. One by one, the vampires grew frustrated by their failures and refused to cooperate any further. This did not stop Joham from continuing his own line of hybrids. The youngest of these, my sister Jennifer, was born some twenty years ago. Unlike the others, he kept Jennifer mostly at his side. She was regarded as special because her mother was a singer for him."

Every one of us grew more on edge. My mother's blood had, after all, sang for my father. Consequently, she had been considered a singer for him.

"Why would mating with a singer make a difference?" Jasper asked.

"Because Joham learned that a singer became pregnant faster and produced an overall stronger child."

"Stronger in what way?" This question came from my father.

"The child would be like the other hybrids in terms of looks, aging, and overall abilities. But, unlike the others, a singer's offspring would only grow in strength and dexterity as he/she aged. For example, I am faster and more physically powerful now than I was even ten years ago. Joham theorized that, in time, I will one day grow more physically powerful even than vampires. I am nearly there now."

"That's how you were able to kill Constantine by yourself," I said.

Nahuel's eyes met mine. "Yes."

Suddenly, Joham's master race idea was starting to make complete sense. The tension in the room swelled so much that I knew I wasn't the only one coming to this conclusion.  
>Nahuel took a deep breath and continued. "My mother was a naive girl who was born into the Mapuche over one hundred and fifty years ago, and was known for her incredible beauty. When she met Joham, she fell instantly in love. Her blood sang for him, but he was able to maintain control long enough to get her with child. Then, he left, planning to send his eldest daughter, Serena, to raise me after I was born just as she had raised Joham's second daughter, Maysun.<p>

"Meanwhile, Pire told her sister she was pregnant, and the two ran away because they both knew their people, even their own parents, would kill both mother and child. Pire, not knowing Joham had abandoned her, searched for him, but to no avail. As her pregnancy progressed and she grew weaker, Huilen hunted for her and Pire drank the blood of the animals her sister caught in order to stay alive.  
>"My birth destroyed my mother. Humans' bodies are, after all, too weak. There was no way to help them survive such a thing—Or so I thought for a long time," he said, flashing a regretful glance to my mother. "Pire, in her last moments, named me Nahuel, after the jungle cat, and begged Huilen to raise me as her own. Huilen agreed to do so, and my mother died. Unaware of what I was doing as a newborn, I bit Huilen. As male half-vampires are venomous, I turned her into a vampire. My aunt waited painfully for death while I crawled over and slept next to her. Once her transformation was complete, she raised me as she'd promised her sister, teaching me to respect and value humans. It is because of this woman that I am the man who stands before you today. She did not let me forget that, even though I am vampire, I am human as well. For this, I owe her everything.<br>"It was not until I was fully matured that I met Joham for the first time. He had sent Serena to find me shortly after my birth, but Huilen chased her off. When Joham found out about this—as well as the fact that he had at last fathered a son—he came to find me himself. Our reunion was not a happy one. It instantly became clear that he saw me as nothing more than the product of one of his experiments. He viewed the humanity Huilen had instilled in me as a flaw. He wished for me to accompany him and leave my aunt behind, but I refused, having no desire to be a part of anything he was concocting. I did not see him again until I learned of his latest child, Jennifer. I knew she would be like me, the child of a singer, and I wanted to show her there was another way to live beyond Joham's plans. I have continued to see her from time to time over these last few years. But, this year was different."

Nahuel's face twisted into a tormented grimace. "Joham purchased a large, secluded estate and settled in Ontario with his daughters so that he could study Jennifer in a stable setting. Somehow, she thrived in this environment. Serena nurtured Jennifer, and Maysun visited them quite often. I, too, tried to visit at least once a year, and Jennifer and I developed an easy affection beyond that which I shared with my older sisters. This year, I delayed my trip because I had hoped to convince Huilen to accompany me. As Huilen still despises Joham for what he did to my mother, it was an impossible task. Realizing I could put it off no longer, I traveled on my own. Once I reached Joham's home, it was soon apparent something had gone terribly wrong."

The room became impossibly quiet as we waited for him to finish his tale. Every muscle in my body was rigid and strained as my apprehension mushroomed inside me. As bad as Nahuel's story was bound to end, I knew there had to be more to him telling it than merely relaying what had happened to his family. Somehow, this horror he was about to unfurl before us was going to affect mine as well. Even Jacob's thumb lightly stroking against my knuckles couldn't calm me down.

"Once I got inside the grounds, I saw everything. Joham was nothing more than burning ash left on the lawn, but I could tell it was him by the smell. Serena and Jennifer were also dead, their pale bodies broken and left lying on the ground in front of the house. Only my middle sister, Maysun, remained behind untouched, though her terror from the events has damaged her mind beyond repair."

"Tell them what Maysun saw," Carlisle said, his face still an impassive mask.

"The Volturi arrived at twilight with no warning."

Jasper spoke up. "All of them? Aro, Markus, and Caius too?"

Aro, Markus, and Caius were the three main powers leading the Volturi coven. Even though they rule as a tribunal, it's Aro who ultimately acts as the chief voice for the group. It was usual for the three brothers to remain in their lair in a little town in Italy while sending their smaller _(but very deadly)_ guard to mete out punishment as needed. _(This guard is headed by a diminutive vampire named Jane who can torture you simply by looking at you. It's her unique talent. I'm told the pain is so bad the victim is wishing for death.)_ So, for the entire Volturi Coven to all come to see Joham meant there was much more going on here than a simple trial and conviction.

"Yes, all of them were there." Nahuel closed his eyes, sounding tired. He took a deep breath, opened his eyes, and resumed his story. "Aro questioned Joham about the experiments. Joham tried to defend himself, but it mattered little. Aro touched him, and after a few minutes, declared him guilty of high treason. He said Joham's plan of a master race threatened the very existence of vampires, and, as such, his life was forfeit. Without another word, Joham was ripped apart and burned before my sisters' eyes."

I remembered Aro having a unique talent very similar to my father's telepathy. The essential differences were that Aro needed to have physical contact with someone before he could read them and, once he got inside a mind, he could access every thought and memory a person had throughout his/her lifetime. Therefore, one touch would, in a second, tell him everything Joham had ever done, said, thought, and devised when it came to half-vampires.

"Aro then turned on Serena," Nahuel continued, "He demanded to know her involvement in what he called the 'treasonous plot.' It took even less time for him to order her death for helping my father with his plans. His guards quickly dispensed with her."

I shivered, imagining myself at the hands of the Volturi. The irony that I could be killed so easily when I'd bemoaned my immortality more times than I could count was too much. Jacob's hand gripped mine tighter, and I clung to him for support.

"Why did they kill Jennifer?" Charlie said.

The adam's apple in Nahuel's throat bobbed up and down a little before he could answer. "They said her strength needed to be tested. So, they had her battle with one of the guard, a fighter named Felix, to see how she would manage. Felix made quick work of killing her. She was only twenty-years-old, after all. Strong, but not yet a match for a vampire. They claimed her death was an accident, but I know the truth. They saw her as merely a threat to be eliminated."

His jaw clenched as he tried to suppress his grief. He was hurting so much that I just wanted to hug him. Nobody said anything, giving him the time he needed to pull himself together. Nahuel finally blinked a few times, cleared his throat, and said, "They explained to Maysun that they left her alive because she was innocent of any wrongdoing, Also she would provide witness to the principles of their justice. Those who had done nothing wrong had nothing to fear. Then, without another word, they left as fast as they came."

The silence in the room became deafening. Strangely enough, the sounds of the television in the other room and the grandfather clock tick-tocking in the hallway were almost drowned out by all the quiet in here.

Nahuel cleared his throat again. "Once I buried my family and got Maysun to Huilen for care, I knew what I had to do. I am no fool. I cannot fight the Volturi. They are too powerful, and I would only succeed in gaining the deaths of those I have left as well as myself. My only recourse is to save what lives I can. So, I decided to find the Cullen family for two main purposes."

"And what are those purposes?" my father asked.

"The first is to warn you. If the Volturi saw Jennifer as a threat, they will also view your daughter as one-as they do me. We both are the children of singers. Our strength and abilities will only continue to grow with age. However, I don't think the Volturi will openly attack you. They'll plot it all out carefully as yours was the only coven to ever successfully hold them off."

Jasper's mouth drew into a thin, hard line. "They'll want revenge for that as well."

"The Volturi don't usually enter battles they cannot win," Carlisle said. "Aro knows our strengths. He'll want to gather more information on our weaknesses before he even attempts to plan anything. He's methodical that way."

"I also wouldn't put it past him to do some kind of pre-emptive strike to test our defenses," Jasper added.

"Maybe he already has," Jacob said.

Every head in the room turned to look at him.

"I would have seen something like that. I—" Alice began.

"Why do you think that? I would have—" my father interrupted.

Jacob held up his hands to hush everyone. "I've been considering a lot of things while everyone was talking. If the Volturi know our strengths, then they know Alice will be watching for them to make a decision about coming after us. Knowing when they're coming means we'd be able to prepare. It would give us the advantage. Wouldn't it be logical then for them to find a way around that in order to gather information on us? Maybe get someone else who doesn't know us, who doesn't know Nessie to come here and maybe report back?"

"I would have seen that decision as well," Alice pointed out.

"But," Jacob countered, "what if they found a way around it? What if they got someone to come here who's unconnected with them and maybe didn't know about us? What if they somehow got this person to travel here under some other pretense, to see if he could get Nessie alone or to see if she was left unguarded? If he didn't know half-vampires existed, wouldn't he think she was human? Wouldn't he just attack her and kill her?"

"That's a lot of what ifs," Esme said. "Is it even possible?"

"It's not just possible," Jasper said. "It's probable. Whether we killed the one they sent, he took down Nessie, or if he was able to somehow get back to the Volturi with information, it would be a win-win for them. The one they sent wouldn't matter. He'd just be collateral damage, a test of our defenses."

"But, what you're saying is . . ." My mother's horror was so great she wasn't able to finish her sentence. Her hand flew up to cover her mouth.

I already knew where this was going. In the back of my mind, I'd been considering much the same thing. As the room had gone silent once more, I decided to say the majority of us were probably already thinking.

"Constantine was sent here to kill me."


	23. Cobblered

**Chapter Twenty-Three: Cobblered**

About three seconds after I made my little announcement, pandemonium set in.

Everyone started talking at once. Charlie, Sue, and Seth and Anna-the last two like one, cohesive unit—began demanding Carlisle and Esme tell them who this Constantine was as well as the full details of the attack on me. Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie had Nahuel cornered, picking his brain for any other nuggets of information he might have. My parents and Jacob talked furiously amongst themselves, debating the merits of Jake's theory as well as trying to devise a strategy of what must be done to protect me.

In the middle of all this chaos, I remained seated, trying to wrap my mind around everything. The Volturi wanted me dead. They'd already sent someone to try to get to me. They would send another or, next time, even come themselves to finish the job properly. And, if I somehow managed to survive all of that, I would one day be a faster and stronger being than vampires.

_Huh?_

All of it seemed too fantastical to believe. _How could I ever be regarded as a danger to vampires? _I certainly hadn't been able to fight Constantine off _(Though I'd put every ounce of my strength behind it)_, and I couldn't fathom how I'd ever be able to do more than stun a vampire—no matter how thorough Jasper and Emmett's new training regime would be. My superhuman abilities had been the sole things that hadn't changed about me as I'd grown. How could they start changing now? _Would_ they start changing now? How soon would I be able to notice a difference? How powerful would I end up being? I recalled the image of Nahuel fighting Constantine, imagining myself in Nahuel's place ripping a vampire's head from his body.

_I'm going to be able to do that? Really?_

Worse, I was acutely aware of how the mere threat of my impending powers could equal the death of my family. The Volturi wouldn't leave me alive this time. Each of the Cullens as well as Jacob would willingly die trying to defend me. I didn't want their deaths. I couldn't even conceive of it. Suddenly, I wasn't just pondering the crazy idea that I might one day be stronger and faster than a vampire, I wanted the extra muscle and speed right now. Then,_ I_ could protect everyone.

Once my fear for my own death transferred to fearing for my family's safety, the emotions overwhelming me lessened and a stubborn determination took over. _No, my family would not die. I wouldn't allow it._ I utilized every bit of mental willpower I had been using to keep the emotions from the imprinting at bay to simply shut every feeling I had down. Just like that, a switch seemed to flick on and I tapped into some unknown section of my brain. Various plans and avenues in dealing with the Volturi became readily available to me. I was a completely logical and practical being in that instant. It was amazing.

Taking the rationality and melding it with my unique gift of mental visualization, I could clearly run several scenarios at once, abandoning ones with impossible obstacles or those which were dead ends. I thought of everything I knew about the Volturi, about us. I considered the strengths of each coven, every weakness. My eyes flicked over to where Anna was chewing Carlisle out for not giving her the full details of the attack on me, as equally angry and worried as Seth about me and the family. A plan—more a hypothesis really—began to take shape. I was fairly confident it would work, but there was still a lot more testing to be done before I could be sure. Still, it was an idea that, if successful, would keep every member of my family alive. That was all I cared about.

I continued to labor furiously in my mind. It was like trying to put together a large puzzle with small pieces on a deadline. I studied the pieces one by one and basically fit them in where they belonged. I worked furiously and efficiently until an overall picture became clearer in my mind's eye. One piece was missing which I'd have to ask Nahuel about, but I could still plainly make out the newly devised plan. It was brilliant in its simplicity—if it worked. I'd almost finished formulating when my father's voice penetrated my concentration.

"We'll have to send her away."

"Yeah, that's good. They won't be expecting that."

"The reservation could work. They're not likely to want to wage a full-out war with werewolves."

I looked over to see my parents and Jacob calmly discussing my future as though I wasn't within hearing distance. "You want to know what I think?" I blithely commented, trying to not get annoyed so I wouldn't lose my new rational nature.

"If she's considered a threat to the Volturi, they'll attack wherever she's at. Instead of sending her away, we should find a way to hide her here. Then, we can work on fortifying ourselves against an assault." Jasper added his two cents now that everyone was focusing on my parents' conversation.

Of course, no one paid any attention to me.

"I'm on board with that. We should end the damn Volturi once and for all, alleviate the danger for good," Emmett said.

Rosalie nodded her assent to this ridiculous plan as did Seth and Anna.

"And how many of our own will we lose in the process?" I debated, standing up so they'd _have_ to notice me this time.

Mom talked over me, "Jane's all mine. Taking her out first will severely weaken them overall."

"I get Felix," Emmett declared.

Frustration was battering at my rational mental wall. I rolled my eyes.

"Nessie will need to be locked down so she can't get into trouble."

That little comment from Jacob sent all rationality flying right out the window. The principle reason for this was, because of our connection, I could feel he meant every word of his idiotic statement. _What, does everyone think I'm a child? _

Jacob continued. "Who can babysit Nessie while we're fighting?"

_Yep,_ I realized, _they do._ Since I was already being treated like a child, I decided to act like one. I picked up my bowl of cobbler, stood on my chair, and calmly poured it over Jacob's head (shaking the bowl until I'd dislodged the last peach slice and watched it glide slowly down Jake's cheek.)

_ That _got me noticed. Everybody started yelling my name in varying degrees of surprise and outrage, but I kept my eyes on Jacob, pushing every ounce of irritation and anger through our connection so he'd get the message I was sending loud and clear.

Surprisingly, he didn't get angry in return. Instead, he calmly wiped pastry crust and peach goop from his eyes and said, "You had something to add, Nessie?"

I jumped down from the chair and set my bowl back on the table. "Yes," I said. "First of all, I'm not a child and you will all stop treating me as such. Second—"

"Nessie." The tenor of my father's voice did not bode well for me.

I'm not sure who was more shocked that I talked right over him, me or him. But, I still did it. They all needed to understand how serious I was about this. "I have the floor now. You've all had plenty of time to talk. My turn. Anyone who interrupts me from this moment forward is going to end up as cobblered as Jake."

Again, not sure who was more surprised at my words, me or the family. _Well_, I thought, _in for a penny, in for a pound_. "Second, hiding me is a bad idea. Not only would the Volturi suspect you're going to do that already, but separating our family in any way will only weaken _us_ overall. If we're going to take a stand, we should do so together. Third—"

"So, you have a better plan?" Emmett smirked as he said this.

I picked up the serving spoon in the cobbler dish and pointed at him with it, eyeing him with an arched eyebrow. "You're the one who taught me not to make idle threats, Uncle Emmett. One more word, and you're cobblered."

He chuckled at my sheer audacity, but didn't say anything else.

"Third," I began again, staring down the room, daring anyone to interrupt.

They're expressions were an eclectic blend of irritation, humor, curiosity, dismay, and dumbfounded shock. Charlie actually appeared torn between pride at my impudence and fear for all of our lives. Nahuel was the oddest one to see. He looked like he couldn't seem to grasp fully what was going on. He kept casting his eyes back between the cobbler-covered Jacob to me wielding the serving spoon like a weapon. He swept his gaze over the rest of the family, almost as if he was hoping one of them was going to talk some sense into me soon.

That made me angrier. I'd had enough of this we-know-what's-best-for-Nessie crap. "Third, if we attack the Volturi, there'll be lives lost on both sides. Even with a well-thought out plan there's no way our family will escape complete or unscathed. That simply isn't acceptable. No one dies for me."

I was happy to see everyone appeared to be waiting for me to finish. _About time._ I crossed my arms over my chest, serving spoon and all. "Lastly, I have a plan that—if successful—can mean everyone walks away from this alive. It's delicate and will probably sound a little convoluted, but I still think it can work. But, before I can tell any of you about it, I need Nahuel to answer a question. The curiosity is killing me."

He nodded, waiting for me to continue, almost as if he'd been expecting me to ask him for a while now.

"Nahuel, you said there were two main purposes for your tracking us down. The first was to warn us. What was the second?"

His gaze on mine was heated as he answered. "I came for you, Renesmee," he replied. "I've always meant to come back for you."

_OK, _that_ I wasn't expecting._


	24. Later Comes Sooner

**Chapter Twenty-Four: Later Comes Sooner**

_I've always meant to come back for you._

My first thought was Jacob's earlier feelings of jealousy suddenly didn't seem so out of line. My second thought—_and desperate hope_—was that maybe Nahuel hadn't intended to imply anything romantic. After all, his words could be interpreted a variety of ways. Maybe he'd meant he always planned to come back and check in on me—the way he'd checked in on Jennifer. Maybe he'd always meant to come back and tell me about the whole "master race" thing. Maybe he'd just wanted to say "Hi." _(OK. That last one was reaching, but it's the best I could come up with on short notice. I'm thinking on my feet here.)_

Jacob, however, wasn't thinking at all. He went right into overreaction mode. _(I guess I can't blame him, but it's annoying.)_ He shoved me behind his back and glared at Nahuel. Even covered in cobbler, Jacob was still quite menacing. "Nessie's mine."

I decided to intervene before a full battle erupted. I came from behind Jake and placed myself between the two men, holding my hands up to keep the peace. "Let's all calm down," I said. My back was to Jacob as I looked straight at Nahuel. "What did you mean when you said you always meant to come back for me?"

A slow smile creased the half-vampire's mouth as he clasped the hand I'd had out in front of him. We all watched, transfixed, as he brushed a quick kiss over my knuckles. "I have come to claim you as my own, Renesmee Cullen. You and I are the same. It is meant to be." He said this calmly, not seeming at all concerned that the massive werewolf at my back was going to rip his head off at any second or that my entire family was staring at him in varying degrees of disbelief. _(Or, in Emmett's case, laughing like a hyena.)_

Jacob's raging emotions ran me over like a herd of stampeding cattle. I wanted to shut them off, as I had done before, but I was too physically and mentally exhausted from everything that was happening and had happened in the last few hours to have any kind of control anymore. So, I didn't speak for a while. I was too busy trying to process it all.

Jacob, however, had no such problem. He carefully took my hand out of Nahuel's grip and held it in his own as he moved to stand at my side. "She's mine. Consider her claimed."

Nahuel seemed to have a death wish (or maybe he was just really confident in his supreme strength). In either case, he said, "I have no wish to fight you, werewolf, but it is not your decision to make." He nodded in my direction. "It's hers. And, as much as you may have claimed her, _she_ has not claimed _you_."

The truth of Nahuel's words sliced through Jake like a hot knife in butter. The overwhelming jealousy, possessiveness, and fury Jake had been feeling before became tinged with an overlaying coating of sadness and despair. It reminded me of the sadness I'd felt in him at other times. The main difference was that I finally grasped the true reason behind it.

I was ashamed of myself. All the while I'd been fighting against the imprinting and my feelings for Jacob and showing how independent I was, I'd been hurting him in unimaginable ways. I'd rejected him, over and over again, and all the while, he'd continued to love me unconditionally. He'd moved heaven and earth to make sure I had a choice in this, even though he died a little death each time to do it. But, still, he persevered in waiting for me, in giving me everything I needed and taking nothing for himself. He loved me that much.

I was humbled as never before. I loved him, but I really didn't deserve him. I knew the truth of that statement more in this moment than ever before. Jacob was too good for me. I'd have to spend the rest of my existence making everything up to him. And I would. Starting now. I took a deep breath. No matter what else was going on, no matter if the Volturi came banging on our door right now, I wasn't going to let Jacob carry this burden of sadness any longer.

I faced him. It took me a minute to get Jacob to stop glaring at Nahuel enough to look at me. I placed my hands on either side of his face so he wouldn't be able to focus on anyone else but me.

"I'm in love with you, Jacob Black. I love _you_. I choose _you_. _I_ claim _you_."

He was stunned. Before he could react, before I could remember there were others around us, I pulled him close and laid the mother of all kisses on him. It took him a little bit, but his arms at last flew around my waist and his lips began moving urgently in tandem against mine.

I was hauled against his chest. My arms went around his neck. He deepened our kiss, fisting one hand in my hair to keep me close. I wasn't going anywhere. I opened my mouth. He growled low in his throat. Our tongues slid deliciously over each other. I tasted passion and cobbler and happiness and love.

The connection between us slammed open full blast, and I knew there would be no going back now. I wasn't sure what that meant in terms of the imprinting, and I didn't care. Surprisingly, I also wasn't afraid. It was like I could see and feel everything in Jacob's mind, as though it were my own. All his worry, pain, the feeling of rejection, and the sadness melted away as our lips met over and over again. I could feel him inside my mind as well, filling me with his joy, his devotion, and one, overriding concept: _Mine. Mine. She's finally mine._ I smiled against his mouth and sent my own back to him: _As you are mine. _

We kissed, broke away, laughed, and kissed again. I'm not sure how long this went on before we became aware of our audience. I think it was Emmett's whistling and catcalling that at last broke through our little bubble. All the clapping from the others only embarrassed me further. _(Seth's howling only made things worse.) _Jacob anchored me to his side. I glanced around the room, feeling the blush heating my cheeks. I'd just made out with my boyfriend in front of my entire family. _Awkward._ But, as everyone seemed genuinely happy for us, the feeling didn't last. In fact, taking in the devilish gleam in Emmett's eyes, I knew I wouldn't be living this one down for a while.

Of course, the only one in the room who didn't appear pleased for us was Nahuel.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I know you came all this way and you warned us about the Volturi, but—"

"Please,' Nahuel interrupted, holding up a hand to halt my words. "You need say nothing more on the subject. You have chosen. I will honor your choice." He inclined his head in respect to Jacob. "Now, I think it is best if we forgo speaking any more about the Volturi this evening. This should be a time of celebration for you all."

"Indeed, I couldn't agree more," Carlisle said, coming over to hug Jacob and I. "I'm happy for you both."

Esme was next. "Does this mean I can at last claim you as my grandson?" she asked Jacob.

"Mama Esme," I admonished as I grew mortified all over again. "It's not like we got engaged. I'm still in high school."

She shrugged. "Minor details," she said, demanding Jacob lean down so she could kiss his cheek properly.

Jake chuckled as he accommodated his new, petite, vampire grandmother. "Does this mean I can call you granny?"

"How about you call me Mama Esme and I don't break your jaw?" she pertly answered, laughing too.

"Deal," he agreed.

I rolled my eyes at their antics.

The rest of my family enthusiastically took part in the well wishes until it felt like we'd been hugged and kissed a million times. Emmett was particularly thrilled because he'd won a bet against Jasper _(Apparently, they bet on whether or not I'd declare my feelings for Jacob in public or private the first time. Jasper had been counting on my fear of public speaking to help him win this.)_ I was too blissed out to be irritated. Besides, I knew I'd find a way to get even with them later.

Seth and Anna, of course, were over the moon and the most difficult to tolerate. Anna kept not-so-casually mentioning the words "double wedding," but we all ignored her. Jacob and I weren't ready for that. Besides, I was still shuddering at the image of those kilts she had planned for the groomsmen in her wedding. _(Note: I should probably warn Jake about this later.)_ Seth repeatedly ribbed Jacob about taking so long to "bring me around." This ended the second Jacob threatened to order the other members of their pack to start calling him "Uncle Seth" if he didn't shut up about it.

Charlie and Sue congratulated us next. Grandpa looked like he had a lot to say to me, but held his tongue. I knew, whatever it was, he'd get it said sooner or later. He hugged Jake and clapped him on the back. Then, he hugged me, holding on a long time without saying anything. I knew he was still worried about the Volturi. So was I, but I didn't want thoughts of that intruding right now. Therefore, I just squeezed him back until Sue demanded we step apart so she could have a turn.

After the well wishes were complete, Nahuel said, "If you all will excuse me, I am tired and wish to find a place to rest for the evening."

"We have bedrooms upstairs you're welcome to use," Esme invited.

"Yes," Carlisle insisted, "you have come all this way and done so much for our family. Please allow us to make you as comfortable as possible."

"Thank you for your kindness, but I am most comfortable in nature. It is what I am used to. So, if you do not mind, I will take to the woods surrounding your lovely home to sleep. I will see everyone in the morning."

"Would you like something to eat?" I asked, feeling the need to do something for him.

"No thank you." He eyed a bit of pastry stuck in Jake's hair with the hint of a grin. "Even though the cobbler looks quite appetizing, I am not hungry. But, I will be back in the morning. Carlisle was telling me earlier about this holiday called 'Thanksgiving.' I am not familiar with this particular human custom myself, but I look forward to experiencing it firsthand tomorrow."

"Absolutely," Carlisle approved, "we wouldn't have it any other way."

Emmett and Jasper followed Nahuel outside, bickering over which were the most comfortable spots in the woods. Charlie and Sue asked to talk to my parents and Carlisle privately about something. Carlisle ushered them all upstairs to his office. I paid them little mind as I figured whatever he was talking about with them probably had to do with what he wanted to say to me. I'd deal with it later. Rosalie, Esme, and Alice went into the kitchen, fussing about Thanksgiving preparations yet to be completed. Anna and Seth gave us another round of hugs before heading out of the house, stating their intent to snag some alone time in Jake's apartment.

Throughout all this, Jacob and I stayed, where we were, his arm wrapped around my waist. Once the room cleared, he pulled me fully into his embrace. "So you love me, huh?" he asked, looking more arrogant than I knew he'd ever felt.

I played along with his game. "Maybe." I shrugged, sliding my hands up his arms until they came to rest on his wide shoulders.

He smirked and insisted, "You love me."

Jake wanted the words again. I knew he needed to hear them. I smiled back, deciding to tease him a little before I gave in. "I love the way you change the oil in my car," I offered.

"You love me," he countered, arching an eyebrow.

"I love how you chop wood in front of my bedroom window without a shirt on." I paused and pretended to consider the matter thoroughly. "Actually, I love you doing anything shirtless, period."

He laughed. "You love me."

I laughed with him, having too much fun at this new game. "I love how you get all bossy and domineering and I have to keep you in line using baked desserts."

He changed tactics. "I love you," he said, all traces of humor now gone from his face. His hand came up to gently caress my cheek. His eyes roved over my face like I was a priceless treasure he'd just uncovered.

I was toast from that moment forward. _Who wouldn't be?_

The game was over. He'd won. I knew it. So did he.

"And I love you," I finally said, leaning up to kiss him.

_OK_, I mentally amended, _we both win._


	25. Second Thoughts

**Chapter Twenty-Five: Second Thoughts**

Anna snores.

You really wouldn't expect it to look at her, but that tiny redhead can saw logs louder than a lumberjack. She also makes this mewling sound in her throat every now and then like a car just backed over a cat or something. So, all in all, no sleep for me.

I sat up in bed and glared over at my tormentor asleep in the cot across the way, even though I knew she wasn't even aware I was in the room. I groaned as my head fell in my hands in frustration. It wasn't as though I'd had a real shot at sleeping anyway. All the worry from today had already seen to that. There was also the fact that I wasn't as confident in my plan to get rid of the Volturi as I had been earlier this evening.

It's not that I didn't think it would work. It was more like the plan was still in the theory stage and needed testing to be verified. So, until I could be positive it would be successful, I'd decided it was best to keep the plan to myself. The last thing I needed was added pressure from my family right now.

My head popped up as Anna turned over and sighed Seth's name. _And that's my cue to leave. _Goodness knows what she'd do, say, or moan next. I wasn't up for that. I slipped out of bed and tip-toed over to the door, intent on not waking her. As it was, she'd kept me up for hours listing her qualms about the Volturi and our family. It was sweet of her to be concerned, but her fear was so palatable that it only intensified my own. There had even been a moment when she'd offered for her and Seth to join the fight with us or to have Seth stay without her. _(_Both scenarios freaked her out greatly, but I still appreciated the sentiment.)But, once I assured her it wasn't necessary, she finally calmed down enough to sink into her present, noisy coma.

I slipped downstairs and into the living room, unsure exactly where I was going. I only knew I needed to be somewhere I could be alone and think. The house was quiet. Charlie and Sue were asleep in Carlisle and Esme's room. Carlisle was working the late shift at the hospital. Jake and Seth had headed off to his apartment to crash nearly two hours ago. Most everyone else was in their bedrooms doing things I was absolutely sure I didn't want to know about. _(My family is passionate on many levels. You learn to ignore it. Enough said.)_

"Nessie?"

I'd caught Esme's scent before I actually saw her sitting by herself in the darkened dining room. She'd apparently heard me coming down the stairs.

"Yes?"

"What are you doing up?" she asked, swiveling in her chair to look at me. Moonlight shone through the large window in there, spotlighting the overly congenial expression she'd pasted on her face.

"Couldn't sleep," I murmured, leaning against the archway. "Are you all right?"

"I couldn't sleep either."

We both smiled at her little joke.

"There are times when I miss the oblivion sleep offers," she declared, staring back out the window into the night. "There is something to be said for being able to switch your brain off for a bit—especially at times like this."

My heart ached in response to the strain I could see tightening the corners of her mouth. I put every ounce of confidence I didn't feel into my words. "It'll be all right, Mama Esme."

Her eyes flicked back to me. "You're right. Our family is strong, intelligent, and resourceful. We'll come out of this."

"If you believe that, then why are you sitting here in the dark by yourself?"

She smiled again. "Someday, you'll be a mother and you'll understand. You never stop thinking about your children—even if they are full grown."

I walked forward and placed a gentle kiss against her forehead. "If I ever do have kids, I hope I'll be as good a mother as you've been."

She hugged me close to her briefly before pulling back. "What's keeping you up?"

I shrugged. "Just not sleepy, I guess. I think I'll go outside and sit on the swing for a little while. Maybe look at the stars."

We stared at each other for the longest time. We were both lying here, each frantically trying to conceal the depth of our true fear from the other, but failing miserably. I waited for her to call my bluff. Part of me wished she would. I was sure she was waiting for much the same thing. The silence stretched on for what seemed like an eternity.

At last, she nodded. "Take the blanket from the back of the couch. It's chilly out there. And promise me you won't leave the porch."

I agreed and did as she'd asked, stealing outside before she could say anything else. I immediately made my way over to the swing and climbed aboard, folding my legs up under me as I covered myself with the quilt. The night was still. It was also cold, so cold every breath you took felt like a chore. The snow on the ground would no doubt have hardened into an ice sheet by morning. I glimpsed left, checking to see if the light in Jacob's apartment was on. It wasn't. I hoped he was getting the sleep I was missing. I closed my eyes, trying to feel him.

I could sense he was up there, but nothing else. I prayed that meant he was asleep. I knew he was thrilled about me professing my feelings before. I'd been happy too. I was still happy, but the joy was slowly being overcome by fear. I hoped he'd been better at escaping that particular problem tonight. No need for more people worrying right now.

I leaned back against the wooden support of swing, letting myself be bombarded by questions I hadn't previously allowed myself to consider. What if I was wrong about this plan? What if I'd missed something? Over calculated? What if it just didn't work? What if the Volturi showed up and we all died anyway?

I bit my lip and shuffled in my seat, trying to control the rising panic. The crunch of a foot pushing through snow brought me out of my reverie. I was instantly alert, jumping up from my position to find the source of the danger I was sure was approaching. _Have they come already?_

"Do not be alarmed. It is only me, Renesmee," Nahuel said, slipping out from behind the newly constructed greenhouse in the back yard.

My eyes stayed trained on him, my stance never relaxing until he'd made it up the porch steps and was standing only a foot away from me. The clothes he had on didn't fit him. I wondered if these were the same ones he'd been wearing earlier. Honestly, I hadn't noticed. The jeans were too long on him, bunching up onto his sneakers. The gray Dallas Cowboys hoodie nearly swallowed him whole as did the burly jacket he was wearing. Even the gloves on his hands looked too big.

"Whose clothes are those?" I was sure I'd seen Uncle Emmett wearing that hoodie before.

"Your uncles were nice enough to allow me to use some of their clothing. My own attire was inadequate in this weather. I'm used to a warmer climate."

His excitement at this discovery made me smile. "Why not sleep inside?"

He looked out into the woods just beyond our backyard. "I belong out here," he explained. "I've never slept in a bed. I wouldn't even know where to begin. And to be in an enclosed room while I rest? I couldn't abide that."

"You've never slept in a bed? How is that even possible?"

He smiled at my questions. "I was raised in the forests of Argentina, Renesmee, and by a vampire at that. We moved around a lot for a variety of reasons. Safety, necessity, boredom. My bed has always been wherever I made it for the evening. Believe it or not, there is a certain freedom in that, an independence I think few could completely comprehend."

This threw me. I struggled to even imagine the concept. I supposed me and my family were doing much the same thing, but only a very different scale. After all, we did change cities and houses fairly often. "But don't you ever wish you could have a home? A place to call your own? Some security, if only for a little while?"

"The forest is my home. The trees I call my own. The sounds of the wilderness around me is my security. Do you not feel more at ease in nature as well? Is that not why you were out in the meadow earlier today?"

I gave a little nod. After all, he'd made a good point. I moved back onto the swing. "Would you like to sit next to me? I'd like to ask you some more questions if you wouldn't mind answering them."

"I do not mind," he said, settling himself next to me.

It was awkward in the beginning. (He's still pretty much a stranger to me, after all.) But, soon my curiosity won out. I'll admit I started with a few stupid questions at first.

"Have you ever watched television? Or been to a McDonald's?"

He laughed. "Yes, to both. I do not like the drinks there—I prefer blood or water—but the french fries are a delight."

I stared at him in shock.

His grin never wavered as he shrugged. "I do enter the human world from time to time, Renesmee. I'm naturally a curious creature."

"But not curious enough to sleep in a bed?"

He shook his head. "You are also forgetting I am over a hundred and fifty years old. Your concept of a bed is fairly modern. In my aunt and mother's tribe, it was common practice to sleep on a rolled mat."

I nodded, deciding to drop the whole bed issue and move on to more important things. "When did you start to realize you were growing stronger? That you were different from regular half-vampires?"

He leaned against the swing. "After Joham showed up for our first meeting, he returned from time to time, always trying to convince me to leave Huilen and follow him. He wished to study my development to see if there were any differences between me and my sisters. He was already fascinated by the fact that I was venomous while his daughters were not. Each time he came, though, I refused. He blamed Huilen's influence. As I continued to deny him, his anger and frustration grew. It was probably on his fifth or sixth visit—I was nearly eighty at the time—when he lost his temper and charged my aunt. I put myself in between them and held him off. At first, he didn't think much of my abilities. But, when he had a difficult time throwing me aside, he stopped trying to attack.

"He ordered me to come at him with everything I had. As I had little sentiment for Joham, I did so, and took immense satisfaction knocking him flat on his backside."

"So you were stronger than a vampire by eighty?"

Nahuel looked over at me. "I honestly don't know. All vampires do not have equal strength. Your Uncle Emmett, for example, is clearly stronger than the others in your family. I am told a new vampire's strength is quite a force to be reckoned with as well. I am not sure how I would hold up against them. I only know that my strength, speed, dexterity, and senses have grown and enhanced as I've aged."

"Senses? Do you mean you can see farther than a vampire?"

"Yes, I also have better hearing and can track a scent from miles away. I am not sure how these skills measure up against the typical vampire as I would never allow Joham to conduct any of his experiments on me." He sighed. "I am somewhat sorry for that in light of current events."

"But, do you have any idea when the strength and other skills start taking effect?"

"Joham was constantly testing Jennifer. By the time she was ten-years-old, she was growing stronger than our other sisters. Her overall abilities were slightly more heightened than theirs. Joham had a theory that my and Jennifer's powers multiplied approximately every five years. By fifteen, Sirena and Maysun weren't able to keep up with her. By twenty, Jennifer managed to catch Joham in a foot race. But, only once."

I let all this sink in. My powers wouldn't begin to really grow for another three years? I exhaled heavily, wishing it worked faster than that. The promise of all the strength in the world wasn't very helpful if you didn't have it when you needed it.

Nahuel stared down at his hands. "As strong as she was, Jennifer was no match for Felix," he said, almost to himself.

"Did she know how to fight? Strength is great, but it will only get you so far." I recited that sentence from memory. It was a concept drilled into me from an early age by Emmett.

"No, we never considered she would need skills like that. Jennifer lived a very sedate, comfortable existence. She had a bed and a bedroom, for example." He paused to smile over at me briefly. "Besides, it wasn't in her nature to fight. She was a sweet creature who found pleasure listening to music and tending to her flower garden. Her patience and skill in horticulture will never be equaled."

Silence filled the space between us. I reached out and laid my hand lightly on top of his gloved one, trying to let him know he wasn't as alone as his expression betrayed that he felt he was. I wasn't sure how much consoling he would let me do. He gripped my hand in his and turned to stare hard at me. "I won't let that happen to you, Renesmee. When the Volturi come, I will avenge my sister's death and fight by your side to keep you safe."

"If my plan works, I hope nobody will have to fight at all."

His eyes narrowed. "You don't wish to harm the Volturi?"

"I don't see how battling with them can mean anything but death for at least a few of us. I know you're grieving for your lost sister, and I'm sorry for what happened to her, but I'm not willing to lose a member of my family in order to settle a score. Violence is never the answer to violence. It only leads to more violence, more deaths. I couldn't stand it. So, if that's why you're here—"

He watched me for the longest while, his expression closed. I wasn't sure if he was mad, sad, or something in between.

"So, what is your plan? You surely do not think you will be able to persuade the Volturi to merely leave you be?" he asked, his voice flippant.

I decided to ignore his sarcasm. "Something like that. I'd really rather not say right now. I'm still working the kinks out. But, I will tell you this. If I'm right, the Volturi will have more to fear from me than added strength and some sharpened senses. I'll have a weapon they won't even begin to know how to deal with."

He looked out into the backyard. I could almost hear his mind whirring as he tried to figure everything out. But, I knew he couldn't fully understand yet. Heck, I'd nearly overlooked the answer myself.

"Can I ask you a question?" he finally said.

"Of course."

"You seemed surprised before when you asked my second reason for coming to see you. What were you expecting me to say?"

I felt a flush heat my cheeks. I really didn't want to admit that, but, with all the ridiculous questions I'd made him answer, it seemed only fair. "I'd hoped you were coming to tell me we had some kind of super power. You know, like we could fly or shoot laser beams out of our eyes or something like that." I blushed again at my own ignorance and foolish hopes. "It made sense at the time. I wasn't really sure how you'd been able to find me in the meadow. I was miles away from home. Even if you'd managed to track us down here, I was sure you must have some other super power which helped you get to me so fast."

He bit back a grin. "I told you, I can smell for miles. And, once I've smelled something, I always remember it. I recalled your scent from the last time I was here. I'd made it to the edge of your property when I caught the smell of you heading the north. I followed." He looked slightly abashed. "I told you I was a curious creature. I'd planned only to observe you. I worried I might frighten you away if I tried to approached you while you were alone. Later, I was going to discreetly follow you back to your home and introduce myself to your family properly. But, when I caught the scent of the unknown vampire, all those plans faded away. I was almost too late in getting to you, Renesmee. I apologize for that."

"I should have been paying better attention myself. It's like Uncle Jasper always says. Vigilance."

"You were holding your own quite well when I got there. Your uncles' training skills must be great indeed."

I turned to look Nahuel full in the face. "If you hadn't gotten there when you did, Constantine would have killed me. The only reason he hadn't finished me already was he couldn't figure out what I was."

"I doubt that was the only reason. I saw you stun him. You were clever and didn't panic where others would have. With some age, you will be quite the formidable opponent."

I smiled grimly to myself. "Here's hoping I live that long."


	26. Vampire Games

**Chapter Twenty-Six: Vampire Games**

Turkey, cranberry sauce, and mashed potatoes are all a part of a traditional Thanksgiving feast. Bouillabaisse, sloppy joes, and slow-roasted barbecue ribs are not.

But, this is what you get when Rosalie and Esme divide all the traditional foods between themselves and leave Alice to come up with her own offerings. Alice, of course, took this as some kind of epic challenge and went overboard.

She also won their little cooking contest because Charlie's always been a sucker for ribs. (Rosalie accused Alice of using her seer abilities to turn the tide in her favor—something Alice vehemently denied. As she denied it with a huge smile on her face, very few of us were willing to believe her.)

And so, our family gorged on a banquet of eclectic dishes. For the afternoon at least, the threat of the Volturi was banished from our collective minds. Vampire, half-vampire, werewolf, and human alike sat around the dining room table. And even though some could not partake of the food, all took part in the lively conversation and family time.

The main source of entertainment was Nahuel. Alice especially delighted in daring him to taste various selections. It was quite comical to see his brown face puckered up whenever he came across something he didn't like. (Prime example: Esme's pickled beets.) Like Charlie, he declared the ribs his favorite and only attempted to eat the fake cornucopia centerpiece once. (Emmett got smacked on the back of the head by Esme for suggesting Nahuel try it in the first place.)

After the feasting was done, the men drifted into the living room to watch football. Charlie introduced Nahuel to what he called the official drink of Thanksgiving: Beer. This, Nahuel liked. And, after the rules of football were fully explained to him, it didn't take long before we heard a certain half-vampire cheering and groaning at the television along with everyone else. _(Which just goes to show you that, deep down, men—no matter the age, ethnicity, or species—are all the same.)_

With all the women pitching in _(aided by a healthy dose of vampire speed),_ it took little time to put away the leftovers and load the dishwasher. Afterward, Alice, Rosalie, Esme, Sue, and Anna took over the dining room table, discussing samples and giving their opinions on arrangements for Anna and Seth's upcoming nuptials. _(Anna made the mistake of asking my aunts and Mama Esme for advice and has now lost control of her own wedding. Upshot: The kilt idea for the groomsmen is officially vetoed. Hooray!) _

I watched it all unfold from the kitchen, thinking how strange it was that only a few days ago Anna had been a scared, unsure, naive girl walking into a den of vampires. With all the stereotypes and the fears she must have been filled with, her bravery in coming here was staggering. And now, she's sitting at a table happily debating the merits of chocolate cake over lemon chiffon.

_Freaking unbelievable. _I shook my head and laughed to myself.

"What?" Mom asked, coming to stand next to me in the doorway between the kitchen and the dining room.

I kept my voice low so I wouldn't be overheard by the humans. "Anna is the most annoying, vapid, hardheaded girl in the world. You should see all the noises that come out of her when she sleeps. It's scary. Seth is going to have his hands full with that one, let me tell you. On top of all that, she's done nothing but drive me insane since she arrived here."

Mom looked confused. "And this is funny to you?"

I shook my head again. "She's also courageous, bluntly honest, infinitely determined, and unafraid to love with her whole heart. Being around Seth and the other werewolves would be enough to frighten away an ordinary human, but for her to willingly agree to stay here—with us—she's proven herself to be a gutsy person. And, the funny part is, no matter how absurd that girl can be sometimes, I've realized there's a lot I could stand to learn from her."

"You're maturing fast, little nudger." Mom smiled and slung an arm over my shoulder. "If it makes you feel better, I'd say you and Anna are learning from each other. I saw her expression after you poured the cobbler on Jake. She was shocked, yes, but I'd also say you put a few ideas in her head. It wouldn't surprise me if, the next time Seth's being a butt-head, she takes a page out of your book."

The mere image of that had both of us snickering. Mom because it was amusing and me because I couldn't see Anna doing that to her perfect, beloved "honey bun." _(Yes, Emmett still torments Seth about that.)_ "Ridiculous," I said, sputtering with laughter. "They're never even mad at each other."

Mom rolled her eyes. "Honey, give it time. Seth and Anna are young and haven't been together that long. Once things settle down, they'll love, fight, and make up just like everyone else. Even your father and I don't always agree and we're desperately in love."

"But you never dumped food on Dad's head."

She shrugged. "Maybe I have a few things to learn from you as well."

We laughed until the rest of the women demanded to know the source of our humor. Instead of confessing, Mom suggested we play cards. We were on our second game of _Rummy_ before the men rejoined us and Emmett challenged everyone to play _Bullshit_.

Now, it is important to understand how games are played in our home. With Alice's and my father's extra abilities, it is difficult to find a game where there's a truly level playing field, so to speak. Jacob and I being involved usually helps with Alice as our mere presence messes with her gift. However, my father has no problem reading Jacob or anyone else's mind as he sees fit. (My mother is the obvious exception to this as she has her shielding talent.) Therefore, to make things fair, Mom shields everyone except Dad. This means he's not able to read anyone. _(Emmett especially likes this as he's always contended that Dad only wins games as much as he does because of the telepathy.) _

The most hilarious aspect of this game to me is watching the more cultured and demure members of our family (like Esme and Carlisle) be forced to shriek this crude expletive at the top of their lungs. (Carlisle says cussing is the result of failing to properly expand one's vocabulary. Esme says it isn't ladylike.) In order to get around this required impropriety, my vampire grandparents have tried many times to change the name of the game to something less offensive like "bluff" or "B.S.," but, unfortunately for them, the proposed names have never stuck.)

Everyone took their seats and the rules were hastily described to Nahuel, who appeared fascinated that the family would want to take part in a contest where the point is to be the best liar. Still, he was excited to play. Two decks of cards were shuffled and dealt to all. Carlisle officially began the game by pulling two cards out of the fan in his hands, slapping them face down, and sliding them to the middle of the table.

"Two twos," he said, all but daring those around him to call his bluff. No one did. (Carlisle never directly lies if he can help it. We all know this and exploit it during _Bullshit_. Thankfully, he's never caught on that we know this.)

Esme tossed down a single card. "One three."

Play quickly made it around the table until Mom declared, "One ten."

"Bullshit," Dad calmly called out.

Mom stared at him, aghast. "Is my shield not holding up?"

"Of course it is," he replied with a smirk. "I just always know when you're lying."

Mom rolled her eyes, grumbled to herself, and raked in her pile of cards. Play resumed with Dad, who put down three jacks. I went next with two queens followed by Jacob with a king. Nahuel's turn was up. He took one card out of his deck and placed it on top of the growing stack in the middle of the table.

"One four," he proudly said, before instantly correcting himself. "I mean one ace!"

"Bullshit," I said, with a laugh.

Nahuel flushed, knowing he was caught due to his own blunder. "So, I have to take these cards now?" he asked.

The pile was slid in front of him, and the game recommenced. Rosalie and Emmett took their turns and Carlisle was about to take his when Nahuel shouted, "Bullshit!"

Everyone looked at Emmett, whose three was being called into question. My burly uncle grinned as he flipped the card over and revealed that he'd been telling the truth. "Take it," he said, pushing his and Rosalie's cards at Nahuel to add to the others he'd already received.

"No," Nahuel countered, holding up the ones in his hand. "I am talking about these cards. I see no queens and only one jack. Nessie and Edward have been clearly less than honest. I call 'Bullshit' on them."

He looked confused when we all started laughing.

"I did something wrong?" he inquired.

Alice took pity on him. "You can only call 'Bullshit' on someone right after they put their card down. Once another player has a turn, they're safe."

Nahuel nodded, absorbing this new information intently. He narrowed his eyes as he moved the cards around in his hands. He seemed determined to understand and play this game with all he had. I admired his tenacity.

Once the game got around to me, I put my cards down and announced, "Two aces!"

"Bullshit!" Jacob declared.

I looked over at him in surprise. I'd been sure I would get away with this one. I flipped the cards over to reveal an ace and a seven. "How did you know?"

He smiled and waggled his eyebrows at me seductively. "I'll never tell, darlin'." He gleefully dragged the mass of cards over to me. "I gotta do something to keep the upper hand in this relationship."

"I'm pretty sure that went out the window the second she poured cobbler on your head," Seth remarked, earning another round of laughter from everyone.

Jacob tossed the empty card box at his fellow werewolf's head before slapping down what he claimed was a pair of twos. Play continued until it got back around to Carlisle, who carefully laid down a card. "One six," he said, keeping his eyes firmly trained on his hand.

"Bullshit," everyone yelled.

_(Honestly, it's like shooting fish in a barrel with Carlisle.)_

If vampires could blush, Carlisle would have done so. He hurriedly scooped up the cards and even mumbled an apology. _(Papa Carlisle is a truly genteel vampire. It's too precious!) _The game continued another ten minutes or so. Nahuel held his own with only a few more stumbles. (At one point, he got confused about what number he was on and tossed down two fours when he was supposed to be on fives). Later, when the entire table shouted a united "Bullshit" at Carlisle before he'd even gotten his card fully placed down, he began to eye everyone suspiciously. _(Note to the family: I think he's catching on, guys!)_

Jacob and Seth ended up devolving in some kind of mini-battle as they just started yelling "Bullshit" every time the other's turn came up. Dad caught Mom's bluffs nearly every time, and Esme jubilantly managed to catch Dad more than once. _(I bit my lip to keep from laughing when Esme winced and closed her eyes before screaming "Bullshit!")_

Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, Alice and Esme got down to two cards apiece, but Carlisle saw to it that they were unable to get rid of them. (Ironically, even though he was horrifically bad at lying, he's usually good at uncovering the lack of veracity coming from his wife and children.) Even Charlie, Sue, and I were playing as hard as we could without seeing much progress. Everyone seemed to have it out for someone else at the table. With such a battle of wills, I wondered how long this game could possibly stretch on.

As it turned out, the answer was thirty seconds.

Anna placed down a card and coyly said, "One queen." A hint of alarm raced through the room as several of us noticed her hands were now strangely empty.

"Bullshit," Charlie said, knowing the last card anyone played was immediately questioned.

Smiling widely, the redhead tipped her card over to show off a crowned lady. "I win," she said, very pleased with herself.

Around the table, mouths fell open in equal shock. It was probably a comical sight, but no one noticed. They were too busy trying to figure out how Anna had defeated them. Nobody could remember calling her bluff even once. She'd flown under the radar the whole time. _Freaking unbelievable._

I burst into laughter and started clapping. "Way to go, Anna!" I exclaimed, so amused that tears ran down my cheeks. "You outplayed eight vampires, two half-vampires, two werewolves, and two intelligent human adults. Well done!"

It wasn't long before the rest of my family joined me in offering their own congratulations. Seth's chest puffed up with pride, and he laid a kiss on his fiancée worthy of a fairy tale. Anna beamed under all the attention. Rosalie begged her for tips on how she got over on all of us, and even Emmett got up to shake her hand.

It didn't take long before the congratulations melted into trash talk and a rematch challenge was issued and accepted. The cards were gathered together, shuffled, and dealt to the various participants. But, this round, everyone kept their eyes on the little human, refusing to underestimate her again. As I organized the cards in my hand, I smiled to myself.

Looks like I wasn't the only one with a few things to learn from Anna.


	27. Putting A Foot Down

**Chapter Twenty-Seven: Putting A Foot Down**

Those who said I inherited my stubborn nature from my mom or dad were proven wrong in the days following Thanksgiving. Nope, it appears I received the bulk of my legendary obstinacy from one chief source.

Charlie.

The impending threat of the Volturi had spurred my human grandfather into action. (I found out later that this was what he'd wanted to speak privately about with my parents and Carlisle the night of Constantine's attack.) At first, Charlie was determined that we should all return with him to the reservation permanently. (Now that he's retired from his job as police chief of Forks, he lives full-time on the reservation with Sue.) His reasoning was simple: Having the packs align with us against the Volturi was the key to keeping us all safe. One look at the werewolves, he insisted, and the coven would be quaking in their boots. They'd have to leave.

Dad, Mom, and Carlisle had debated the logic of this, explaining that the packs' presence would not deter the Volturi once they'd decided to descend upon us. As the coven was already aware of the packs' existence and allegiance to us from the last time, they would not see them as any kind of real obstacle in taking us out.

As much as Charlie had been unable to persuade my parents and Carlisle to agree to his plan, he was not discouraged from his self-appointed task. His next move had him bringing his idea before the entire family after dinner on Saturday. He knew if everyone voted to come to the reservation, Carlisle, Mom, and Dad would have no choice but to go along. (Dad and Carlisle were irritated by his highhandedness, but still let him speak.) Charlie explained his position, pacing in front of all of us like he was a baseball coach rousing his players before the last game of the World Series.

"Not only would we have home field advantage—so to speak—but the werewolves being there would put us in a better position overall. We'd have better numbers, which is bound to intimidate anyone, even those Volturi people. It could mean they wouldn't want to fight at all," Charlie maintained, his face a mottled red. "They'd have to go home and leave you all alone."

From the other end of the dining room table, Carlisle shook his head. "Aro is a careful strategist, Charlie. He does not take on any type of conflict unless he is assured to emerge victorious. His ego and position in our world demands it. Before the decision is made to come here, he will have tactics in place to combat the werewolves as well as those in our family with unique talents. We were very lucky last time, but only because we had aces up our collective sleeves that he had no way of knowing about."

My father concurred. "He won't make that mistake again. Aro will cover every possible scenario before he strikes this time. He cannot afford to allow us to walk away unscathed twice. It will be considered weak and leave the Volturi open to attacks from others of our kind. There are already many vampires who have begun to question the need for their rule anyway."

Charlie continued to argue for another hour. In the end, however, it didn't matter how well Charlie made his point, the family unanimously voted not to accompany him to the reservation. We would remain here and handle the matter ourselves. (I still wasn't ready to explain my plan to everyone, and I could tell their patience was running thin. But, with the holiday and everyone always around, there simply hadn't been enough private time for me to work the holes out.)

The vote against him did little to dissuade my grandfather from his purpose. Sunday evening, he came into my room. I was sitting on my bed with my laptop, trying to finish up my Civil War paper for Mr. Sheehan. (It seemed silly to work on mundane things like homework when my very existence was in jeopardy. But, at the same time, it was nice to have something else to occupy my brain with than plans and fear.)

"Can I talk to you, short stack?"

I was surprised to hear him calling me that particular nickname as it hadn't been used for years.

"Sure," I said, setting my laptop aside and patting a spot on the mattress next to me.

He sat on the edge of my bed. Even if I hadn't already suspected what he was up to, the rigid expression on his face was a tell-tale sign. I took a deep breath and waited. He was set on doing this, and I was going to have to hear him out. It would be disrespectful otherwise. Although, I wasn't sure how he thought I'd be able to convince my family to come with him at this point, or even that I'd want to. (I had voted no on the whole us coming with him debate, after all.)

Charlie looked straight at me and took my hand in his. "Nessie, you're my only grandchild, and I love you. I can't lose you. I'm not sure I could take something like that, not when there's something I could do to prevent it."

I nodded and waited for him to continue.

"Now, I know I haven't been around all this supernatural stuff as long as the rest of you, and I'm sure there are plenty of things I don't fully understand. But, a threat against a man's family is a threat against a man's family no matter the circumstances. You can't ignore it."

"We're not ignoring it, Grandpa. We're—"

He squeezed my hand to stop my words. "I know you say you have a plan and all and you believe it will save everyone, but you're just a kid. I know you look and act like an adult, but you've still only been around seven years. There's a lot you don't know about life . . . and death. I watched my parents die of long illnesses. I also had an older brother once. I bet you didn't know that, did you?"

"No, Mom never said anything about it."

"I'm not sure she even knows. I don't like to bring him up. His name was Joseph, and he was about two years older than me. Anyway, when he was twelve and I was about ten, we were out riding bikes about a mile from our house. It was late summer and school hadn't started yet. We'd been out all day and were riding home as fast as we could because we knew our mother would have our hides if we were late for dinner. The road we took home was real curvy, which is what we loved best about it. We'd decided to race home and Joseph, being older, was beating the pants off me. I saw him go around the bend of the curve and pushed myself to keep up. I'd just rounded the bend when I saw it."

"What?" I asked, caught up in the story.

"A truck. It had hit him. My brother was laying on the ground, his body so still and his bike a crumpled up mess next to him. The driver had been about to get out of the truck when he caught sight of me. Before I could even make it over there, the man got back into his vehicle and sped away. I didn't know what to do. I ran to Joseph and knelt down beside him. He was pretty scraped up and had a nasty bruise on his head, but he looked OK otherwise. He opened his eyes as I got closer. He took in a couple of ragged breaths, but didn't speak. I just sat there watching him and crying. I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to leave him, but I didn't know what to do to help him either. So, in the end, I did nothing and he died." He let out a long sigh. "I'll never forgive myself for that."

"Grandpa, you were a kid. What could you have done?"

"I should've gone for help. He must've had internal injuries. I should've known—"

It was my turn to squeeze his hand now. "How could you have known that? You were ten-years-old. The driver's the one at fault here. He shouldn't have left you all there. You did the right thing. You stayed with your brother. You comforted him when he was dying. If you'd left, he would have died all alone. Would that have been better?"

A lone tear cut its way down Charlie's haggard cheek. "I told myself I'd never feel so helpless again. I didn't want anyone to ever feel that way if I could do something to prevent it."

"And that's why you became a police chief, isn't it?"

He glanced up at me in surprise. I wondered if he'd even realized it himself. "Yeah," he finally said with a half-hearted chuckle. "I guess so."

"Did they ever find the driver?"

Charlie nodded. "About a month later, he turned himself in. The guilt was killing him."

I reached up to touch Charlie's whiskered jaw. "I understand what you are trying to do here, Grandpa. But, these are completely different circumstances."

"Death is still death. I won't lose my girls, short stack. I just won't. Not when I can do something to stop it. If the Cullens won't come to the reservation, I can't make 'em. But, there's no reason you can't come by yourself—or even you and Jake together. The Volturi would never find you there."

I sighed. "The Volturi have Demetri, who is the best tracker in the world. He can find anyone, and he will find me. We'd be sitting ducks there. Plus, you're forgetting the others on the reservation, Grandpa. The Volturi won't stop with just killing me or anyone who stands against them. They'll wipe out the entire tribe. They'd probably see it as some kind of pest extermination or something. Think of all those innocent people you'd be condemning."

He looked away. I hoped this meant that I'd at long last gotten through to him. He turned back to me, his expression impassive. "Then, we'll stay here and fight with you."

I shook my head. "As much of a fighter as you are, you're still human. You'd only be a liability to us. It's better if you, Sue, Seth, and Anna get back to the reservation as soon as possible. Each day you stay here, you put yourself more and more in danger. I know I'm only seven-years-old, but I assure you I'm an adult. My brain can process, think, and plan faster than a fully-grown human. I have a plan that will see to it that everyone makes it out alive. You just have to have faith in your only grandchild. I might surprise you." I smiled at him, trying to get him to smile back.

He didn't. But, he also didn't argue anymore. By Monday afternoon, we were watching them all pile into Sue's SUV to make the trip back to Washington. I hugged him to me, unsure if I'd ever see him again. (My "brilliant" plan was still in the theory stage, after all. I couldn't be absolutely sure until I tested it. It was very possible that we could all die.) Charlie hugged me just as hard.

Pulling back, he stared at me firmly, as if trying to memorize my features. I did much the same. It was our old game, and I gratefully accepted the comfort it gave me. Finished with his inspection, my grandfather kissed me swiftly on the forehead and hugged me again.

"I love you, short stack."

"I love you, too." Tears welled in my eyes. My heart was breaking and I couldn't do a thing to stop it. _If my plan was wrong_. . . No, I wasn't going to allow myself to even consider that.

He let go of me and hugged Mom next.

"Love you, kiddo," he said.

"Love you, too, Dad," she said.

I made my goodbyes to Sue and Anna and received a bear hug from Seth. "If you all need me," he said against my ear. "I'll come. You only have to say the word."

I nodded against his neck, unable to speak.

As the goodbyes were completed and we were watching them roll down the driveway, the tears that had been threatening finally spilled over. Jake stayed by my side, his arm wrapped around my waist. As the rest of my family migrated into the house, we were left alone for the first time in days. I fell into his arms, soaking his jean jacket with my sorrow and every worry I'd been holding in.

"What if I don't see him again?"

"You will," Jacob soothed, running his hand up and down my back. "We're going to be fine. You've got it all figured out, remember? I have faith in you."

My tears slowed, but he never stopped holding me. At last, I backed away, wiping my cheeks dry with the back of my hands. Jacob leaned over to give me a soft, quick kiss.

"Nessie, it's time for you to give the details about this plan of yours. Charlie is gone and Thanksgiving is over. We'll need all the time we can to ready ourselves for the Volturi."

"I know." I took a deep breath. Without a word, I stepped away from him and walked towards the garage.

"Where are you going?" he asked. "We need to go inside and talk to the family about the Volturi."

"Not yet," I replied.

I heard him sigh in frustration. "Nessie, now is not the time for procrastinating. I know you don't like to be told what to do, but I'm putting my foot down on this one. Get your butt in the house before I toss you over my shoulder again."

I smiled to myself, knowing I had no intentions of allowing that to happen. There would be time to talk to my family later. Right now, I needed to get a few other things in order (in my own mind if nothing else). I was not going to be swayed on this. I was right. I knew it. I just needed to prove it. I climbed the stairway to his apartment and opened the door before I looked over my shoulder. "Come on, Jake. You and I are finally alone, and I have a few things to show you."

He stared at me for the longest time. Then, he blinked and arched an eyebrow, unsure if I meant what he was hoping I meant. Smiling mischievously, I gave him a saucy, enigmatic wink and hurried inside his apartment, silently laughing to myself. Of course, that was all it took to get him to follow after me.

_Ha!_ _Putting his foot down, indeed. _


	28. The Plan

**Chapter Twenty-Eight: The Plan**

_(__Note to self: Never tempt a werewolf.)_

I'd barely sat down on Jake's couch when I heard the door slam and he thumped down next to me. I couldn't even manage a squeak of objection before I was hauled onto his lap. His arms wrapped around my waist as his mouth captured mine. The deep kiss consumed me as he claimed my lips over and over again in a passion-induced frenzy. His tongue invaded my mouth, coaxing my own tongue out for a session of play. My arms went around his neck, one hand running up his nape so my fingers could lose themselves in his dark hair. His hands roamed upward, caressing as they went until they brushed lightly at the undersides of my breasts.

I gasped in surprise and automatically pulled away from him. _(It's not like I'm used to someone doing that_.) Jake grinned and dragged me back in for another kiss.

"Jake," I said in a muffled whimper as he broke away from my lips and began kissing his way down my neck. "This is not what I meant when I said I wanted to show you something."

"You're all mine now, Nessie," he said into the vee between my neck and shoulders.

His hands reached up to blatantly cup and stroke my breasts though my sweater. This time, I found myself moaning in response. Jake lightly nipped my collarbone and moved along jawline, placing hot, wet kisses as his went. I shivered and arched my neck to give him better access. _(He's so good at this.)_

I dizzily tried to recall the point I'd been trying to make. It was hard to concentrate on things beyond what his mouth was doing. _The plan._ _I'm going to tell him about my plan._ His lips moved over mine again just as I was about to protest, and I lost track of time for a bit. Jake also somehow lost his shirt._ (I'm pretty sure I'm the one to blame for that, but things are happening a bit too fast for me to know for sure.) _However, when his hands slipped down under the bottom of my sweater and started shoving the fabric upward, I remembered my purpose. His loud groan as I took the lobe of his ear in my mouth and gently bit also reminded me that somewhere nearby there were a lot of vampires with super sensitive hearing who I did not want knowing about this.

I broke away from him and pushed myself off his lap. "We can't do this now."

His eyes blazed with passion as he instinctively reached for me. "And why is that? You love me. I love you. We're both adults, and we're finally alone." He smiled seductively at me. "I don't see a problem."

"We're not alone."

He looked around the empty living room. "I don't see anyone here."

"Are you forgetting everyone else in our family can hear us, even from inside the house?"

He paused for only a moment before shrugging. "Emmett's probably got a game blaring on the television. They won't hear a thing." And with that, he pressed me down onto the couch and continued his assault on my neck.

I bit back a moan and tried to prevent myself from falling under his spell again. _(It's harder to do than you might think.)_ "What about Dad, who can read minds from up to three miles away?"

This made Jake pause. As much as my father had given us his blessing, I was fairly confident he would not react well to his little girl getting it on right under his nose. Edward Cullen is, after all, over a hundred-years-old. He can be quite old-fashioned when it comes to things like this. No doubt, he'll probably want us married first. But, as I was still in high school and we're not rednecks living in Appalachia, I wasn't in any hurry to be married. Jacob and I are immortal. What's the rush? _(Of course, the Volturi are threatening to end this immortality, but that is beside the point.)_

Jacob's face was resting silently against my neck. I could feel his frustration. It matched my own.

"We could go to the paint and body shop," he suggested, pulling back to leer at me. "It's closed today."

I arched an eyebrow at him. "You want our first time to happen in a garage? Not very romantic there, Romeo. Besides, it's a bad idea for the family to be separated for too long right now. It's important to stand united if the Volturi show up. And, you're forgetting I'm still grounded. Even if we didn't have the Volturi breathing down our necks, Dad wouldn't let me go anywhere for another three weeks."

Jacob growled and fell back against the couch, apparently conceding that I was right. I sighed and sat up, hating just how right I was. We stayed on the couch, side by side, trying to slow our heavy breathing.

"I actually didn't get you up here for this, you know," I announced after a while.

He took my hand in his, rubbing his thumb up and down my palm. "You want this as much as I do, Nessie." He stared me down, daring me to disagree.

I blushed and looked away. "That's irrelevant."

His index finger lightly traced my wrist, and I trembled involuntarily. "Doesn't feel irrelevant," he murmured.

My brain scrambled for some safer topic. Otherwise, I was going to throw caution to the wind, Jacob to the floor, and my inhibitions out the window. _What is the reason I brought him up here? _His fingers wove themselves into mine as he brought our intertwined hands up to his lips and placed a delicate kiss against my knuckles. My heartbeat sped up. I could feel the passion overtaking him again as our woven hands came down from his face and he leaned over to kiss me.

There was a reason I needed to stop this. I knew there was. His mouth was a millimeter from mine when I blurted out, "The plan!"

He paused and looked at me like I'd lost my mind.

I put my free hand on his chest holding him back. "I need to tell you about my plan," I explained. _(Wow, his chest muscles are really defined. I wonder if I touched—What am I _doing_? We don't have time for this!)_ I dropped my hand and began sliding away from him.

The lust clouding his eyes began to fade. "The plan." He nodded, almost to himself, and resumed his place on the couch. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Yes, you need to tell all of us about that. We should head inside."

"I'm not ready to tell everyone else because I haven't worked out all the kinks yet. And, there's still quite a bit to be tested."

"Tested? What are you talking about? What does this plan of yours involve exactly?"

"Us. You and me, Jake."

His eyebrows raised up towards his hairline. "'Us'? Us how?"

"Essentially, I mean the imprinting. I think that's the key to all of this."

He dropped my hand from his. I didn't take it personally as I was sure he only did it so he could concentrate on what I was saying. He inclined forward to rest his arms on his knees and waited for me to continue. I began to talk fast, wanting to get the explanation over with so we could move on to the testing.

"Basically, the Volturi are nothing but a bunch of bullies. The only reason they see our family as a threat at all is because they're afraid we might grow more powerful than they are and ultimately decide to overthrow them. Their viewing me as a threat pretty much falls under the same category. So, what's the best way to deal with a bully? Confront them with brute strength and scare them away."

"How does the imprinting fit into this?"

"The imprinting is our secret weapon. With it, you and I can feel each other's emotions, right?"

He shrugged again. "Yeah, the big ones."

"But, that's not all. We can also send things to each other through our connection."

I could see he was remembering our other time in this living room, when the desire had almost overtaken us and he'd sent me all of his calm. "How will calming you down help us defeat the Volturi?"

"What if sending emotions isn't all we can do? What if we can transfer other things through the bond as well?"

"Like what?"

"Like strength. What if I could send you my half-vampire strength when you really needed it? What if I could share the other skills I have, like my speed or advanced eyesight? These abilities, combined with what you already possess would make you quite the formidable opponent, wouldn't it?"

"If it works, yes. But what would happen to you in the meantime? Wouldn't it leave you weaker?"

"I don't believe so. I think we'll be able to collectively share what we both possess. When you sent me the calm that time, did it take anything away from you?"

Again, he was reliving the memory in front of me. At last, he shook his head. "It left me exhausted. But, no, I still felt calm."

"I think the exhaustion was because you were fighting against what we both wanted at the time. But, even if the transfer of power leaves us drained, we can practice and train ourselves until we get strong enough to withstand it."

"But you're assuming a lot here, Nessie. Just because we can transmit emotion to each other doesn't mean we'll be able to send anything else."

I sighed, hating that he was admitting the biggest hole in my plan. "I know. That's why we need to test ourselves. But, I still think it'll work. When Nahuel was telling us his story that night in the dining room, I was watching Seth and Anna. The second Seth got angry about the Volturi trying to come after me, she did too. It was like they were one person in that moment. I think our imprinting will work pretty much the same way, but on a bigger scale. You and I are already able to do things other imprinted members of your tribe can't do, remember?"

He nodded, still looking unsure. "But, even if this crazy theory of yours works, how do you think this is going to defeat the Volturi? Having you and I sharing our strength makes us more powerful, but it won't make them back off."

"We're going to use their fears against them. If they were scared enough of Jennifer to put her to death for simply being the child of a singer, how do you think they're going to view the two of us? A werewolf and a half-vampire child of a singer who are imprinted and can share their abilities? Add to this all the other powers our family has, and the Volturi would be extremely foolish to come after us. We just have to get them to realize that. A little demonstration might be in order, but I think it will be successful. Aro is many things, but he isn't stupid, and I don't believe he wants to die."

"What about what Edward said about Aro planning carefully for all outcomes before he gets here, and his position not allowing him to leave us untouched if he challenges us a second time? Your dad's right about that, you know."

"Yes, he's correct. I'm sure Aro will be gathering as much information as he can about us before he steps one foot in our direction. In fact, I'm counting on it. We just need to make sure that the next person he sends here is able to take a message back to him."

"A message?"

"Yes," I said. "The kind of message which states loud and clear exactly how quickly the Volturi will be destroyed if they dare come after us. The kind of message that will show how undefeatable we can be. They already fear we're powerful. Let's feed into that fear. If we can do that, they'll have no choice but to leave us alone."

Silence filled the room as he thought over everything I said. I waited, feeling less confident with each passing minute. _What if I'm wrong? What if we can't share our abilities? What if the Volturi just show up unannounced tomorrow? What if we all die anyway? Am I foolish to think I could stop them?_

Jacob settled back against the couch and enveloped my hand back into his own. "Well," he declared, "it's definitely a unique plan."

I could feel the pride emanating from him as he said this. He was proud of me. I smiled at him, feeling my confidence starting to return. "You think it'll work?" I asked him.

"There's only one way we're going to find out. And, since we're alone up here, this is as good a time as any." He got to his feet, pulling me up with him. "All right, Nessie. Let's see what we can do."

I stood on my toes to deliver a quick kiss. Even if I was dead wrong about this, his support was worth the world.

"OK," I said. I inhaled and swallowed a healthy dose of fear. It was time to take the leap I'd been dreading for a long time. "But there's something else I have to do first."

Jacob's brow furrowed. "What is that?"

"I need to fully accept the imprinting."


	29. Strengths And Weaknesses

**Chapter Twenty-Nine: Strengths and Weaknesses**

"I, Renesmee Cullen, do hereby accept my imprinting to Jacob Black."

I squeezed my eyes shut, clenched my hands into fists, and waited. A few seconds of silence elapsed before Jake spoke.

"What in the world are you doing?"

I opened one eye, annoyed to see him grinning at me. I ignored him and snapped my eye closed again. "To whom it may concern, I accept the imprinting!"

Jacob's bark of laughter rang out throughout the living room. "Yeah," he said. "I think we all got the memo."

When I realized nothing was going to happen, I opened my eyes and slumped back over to collapse on the couch. Jake stayed standing in the middle of the room, his grin now more of a smirk than anything else. I propped my chin on my hand and glared at the love of my life, wondering how funny he would think it was if I threw a couch pillow at his head.

"Darlin', what exactly was that all about?"

I shrugged and looked away.

He walked over and squatted down in front of me. "C'mon. Spill it. I can feel how embarrassed and disappointed you are. What did you think was going to happen?"

I sighed, knowing I was going to have to tell him. "I guess I figured there'd be golden lights, angels singing, fairy dust, or something like that. Before, every time you and I got closer, it seemed almost magical. With me fully accepting the imprinting, I figured there'd be some big production." I frowned as I saw his smile begin to widen again. "It's not like it's unreasonable for me to think it could happen, you know," I grumbled. _(Yes, I get how ridiculous it sounded the second it left my mouth, but it's still what I thought would happen. Ugh!)_

"Being with you is always a magical experience for me, Nessie. I'm the luckiest man alive. However, I'm relatively sure that the second you told me you loved me, the imprinting was accepted," he said, running the back of his hand softly down my cheek. "Of course, if you want, we can go into the bedroom, take things to a new level of closeness, and see if that makes a difference. I could promise you a good amount of angels singing and at least a sprinkle of fairy dust." He waggled his eyebrows for effect.

I rolled my eyes at his foolishness, but still managed to laugh. He gave me a swift kiss before pulling back. "So, you want to test this plan of yours out or what?"

I nodded and got up off the couch. We moved into the middle of the living room again. Standing a few feet apart, I considered what we should attempt to pass to each other first.

"How about speed? You're not very fast in your human form, are you?"

"No," he answered. "Go ahead and send it."

I closed my eyes, concentrating on my speed. It was a heavy, slippery, shapeless mass within me. When I thought I had a grasp, I grunted, mentally shoving it in his direction. It wouldn't go. It was an awkward task at best. My mental "hands" couldn't find purchase enough to get it to move. It felt like I was attempting to telekinetically move a skyscraper.

"Are you sending it?" he asked.

"I'm trying," I croaked.

"I'm not feeling anything."

Nothing was happening. I groaned in frustration and dropped everything. "I know you can't," I panted, trying to catch my breath. "I'm an idiot. There's no way this can work. What was I thinking?"

"Don't give up so easily," he said. "What were you just thinking about?"

In an irritated tone, I clipped, "I was thinking about sending you my speed. What else?"

He walked forward and placed his hands on either side of my shoulders. I automatically looked up at him. "The night you poured cobbler on me. Do you remember how you sent me your frustration and anger then?"

I nodded, waiting on him to finish his explanation.

"How did you do that? What were you thinking about?"

I considered this carefully. "I'm not sure. I felt it and wanted you to feel it. I didn't really think about anything. I just did it."

"That's pretty much what I did when I sent you the calm. You were in trouble and I wanted you to have it. The fact that you were open to receiving it also probably helped."

"Then you do it. Send me your strength. I'll make myself open to receive it."

He walked back across the room, an expression of determination fixed on his face. "Close your eyes and concentrate on nothing but what I tell you," he said.

I did as ordered, clearing my mind and waiting for further instructions. For a long while, there was nothing. I began to grow impatient and was about to open my eyes when the bond between us fluttered slightly. The fierceness of his resolve to do this was the first thing to make it through. It wasn't his strength, but it was something. I got excited and waited for more.

Slowly, like a gentle hum, the connection between us began to vibrate. The vibration became more pronounced. A well of energy was pushing its way toward me. I heard Jake grunt as he heaved it in my direction. Fear of the unknown was bearing down on me, but I ignored it. This is what we wanted. I continued to keep myself open, feeling the energy edge its way nearer to me. I could feel the heat of it as it got nearer. As it started to touch me, the vibration between us caused my body to tremble. Before I could take another breath, the bulk of strength Jake was sending settled over me like a warm, heavy suit of armor. I felt clumsy and immensely powerful at the same time. I wasn't sure if I could move or where my body began and the energy ended.

"Do you got it?" Jake's voice was hoarse.

"Yes," I wheezed, not sure what I was supposed to do now that I had it.

"Open your eyes."

I complied, seeing him staring at me from his place across the room. His face was twisted as if he were in pain. I probed our bond, trying to get a sense of what he was feeling. This was painful for him, a burning kind of pain screaming in his muscles. Without thinking, I broke concentration and released him from this torture. As quick as that, the energy between us dissipated.

Jacob fell to his knees. "Damn it, Nessie," he said, taking great, heaving breaths. "We almost had it. What happened?"

"You were in pain. I don't like you in pain."

He looked up at me, rolling his eyes. "I'm going to be a lot worse pain than that if you don't hold your concentration better. We can't afford for you to do that when the Volturi get here."

"Do you think it's even worth it? It's so hard for us to do this, and there's no guarantee it will hold when we need it to."

"We'll keep practicing and we'll get the rest of the family to help. Jasper and Emmett are set on making you train more as it is. We'll add this to your regular workout sessions. With time, it'll be second nature to us."

I wasn't as confident as he was. Thinking of this plan in logical terms was one thing. Making it work in the real world was another. _What if this is just too hard? How can I keep up the kind of concentration needed to make this work and face down the Volturi at the same time? What if we had to fight? How will that even work?_

I wanted to cry, but I was simply too tired to do so.

Jake got to his feet and took me into his arms. I knew he'd felt my despair and pessimism. I hated how much of a whiney baby I was being. This was, after all, my idea._ How can I lose confidence so soon? Am I so weak?_

"No one said this was going to be a walk in the park," he murmured into my hair. "But, the fact that I was able to send you my strength and you were able to accept it is a big step forward. It means your plan can succeed. Can't you see that?"

I nodded against his chest. "We're weak as newborn kittens right now, though. That's not going to be a big help if the Volturi show up tomorrow."

"Alice will tell us with enough advanced notice when they decide to come. We have time to train. It's like you said before. We can build up our endurance. Don't worry. You can do this, Nessie, and so can I. Don't you see what this means? We can save our family. You just have to stay confident and focused."

Jacob's reminder about the family was enough to spur me on. I couldn't afford for this plan not to work. Lives were depending on the success of it. I inhaled swiftly, slid my hands up his still-naked chest, and looped them around his neck. I pulled him down and delivered a soul-shattering kiss. (I'd picked up quite a few tricks in our times together.)

When we were done, he was breathing harder than he'd been when trying to send me his strength. _(Is it wrong how much I love having this kind of effect on him?) _I could feel the self-satisfied smirk overtaking my face.

He looked down at me. "What was that for?"

"For being you. I love you very much."

It was his turn to smirk. He shrugged, arrogantly. "Of course you do," he said. "Who wouldn't? I'm quite the catch."

I laughed at his overabundance of ego and leaned over to kiss him again.

When we finished, he said, "We have to go talk to the family about this. They'll be able to help us."

I nodded again, acknowledging the truth of his words. But, I didn't move. Instead, I snuggled deeper into his embrace, laying my face against his heated chest. There would be time for talking to the family later. For now, I was content to remain right here with him, satisfied to rest forever in his arms.


	30. Training Day

**Chapter Thirty: Training Day**

The last time our family went up against the Volturi, we'd called in every vampire we knew to act as witnesses to the fact that I was not an immortal child. Our focus had been not on fighting, but on seeking a way to amicably resolve the issue before a conflict occurred.

This time, however, was very different.

After I explained my plan, all agreed that training for me and Jacob would commence every day for at least two hours until further notice. I wanted to protest, but even I knew that we had no idea when the Volturi would decide to head our way. We had to be ready.

The new powers granted to Jacob and I through the imprinting were only part of the family's overall strategy. It seems while I working out the kinks in my plan, those I love were coming up with their own schemes for dealing with the Volturi. In the end, we kind of melded everyone's ideas into what I'd started calling the "Mega Plan."

In addition to daily workouts for Jacob and me, others would have specific training to strengthen the use of their individual talents. Mom was at the top of this list. Her shielding abilities would be a priority asset in helping to defend us against the Volturi's assorted mental powers. (She'd gotten better at employing this skill throughout the last seven years, but Dad and Carlisle wanted her to be able to shield individuals like a second skin. As the main Achilles' heel with Mom's power was that she could not stop someone from physically penetrating her field of protection, having her shield encase us all so closely would greatly solve this problem.)

In addition, Alice would be focusing her energies on watching for Volturi decisions. Not just ones involving us, but anything she could see. Carlisle had developed a specialized type of training for her which would expand her powers further than she'd ever managed before. (As Jacob was involved heavily in our plans, Alice wouldn't be able to see events transpiring after the Volturi arrived. So, it was important that we knew as much about their plans before they actually got here as we could.)

At the helm of it all, my father, Jasper, and Carlisle were three generals on a mission. Jasper's skills in battle, Carlisle's history with the Volturi, and Dad's insight into how their minds worked helped them operate like a well-oiled machine. They were intent that, if Aro was going to come here primed for all outcomes, we'd have just as much planned for them.

Of course, Carlisle incessantly stressed that, even though we were working hard to cover our bases with the Mega Plan, our primary goal was to find a way to peacefully settle all of this. But, like in the game of _Bullshit_, everyone knew the truth.

The Cullens were going to war.

Alice, with her artistic talents, and Jasper and Emmett, utilizing their computer software design skills, worked together to devise a comprehensive database of knowledge about the Volturi. This included a drawing of each of the coven members as well as details of their powers, strengths, weaknesses and any other significant information we knew about them or could gather. This information would be used to put together a program which would outline the various scenarios which could happen with the Volturi as well as aid us in discovering the best pathways to victory.

Nahuel was given the choice to go home to his family, but none were surprised when he declared his intention to stand with us. He offered himself as a training dummy of sorts. This became a win-win for all. Not only would this gauge the full volume of his expertise in fighting, but, his more intensified powers made him the perfect training adversary for Dad, Jasper, and Emmett, whose fighting abilities were, by far, the most advanced.

As part of the preparation, new rules were laid down. No one was allowed to be off in the woods by themselves. When hunting was necessary, three had to go at a time. (Two to hunt and one to provide watch.) I was also not permitted to drive myself to school anymore. (Mom and Dad wanted to take me out completely, but I refused because I only have a few more months to go before graduation. _I'm not letting the Volturi take that human experience away from me._) Therefore, it was decided that two people would drive me to school every day and another two would be there to pick me up when I came out after the final bell. I was also required to have my cell phone on me at all times in case of emergency while I was inside Castlewood High.

There had been some talk of one or more family members being enrolled in school with me. Thankfully, after I pointed out that the family was known around this town as being too old for high school, this idea was scrapped. (_The image of Mom and Dad flanking me down the hallway as we went to class every day still gives me the shudders!_)

All this battle planning freaked me out as I became more and more convinced that someone I loved was going to die. The high concentration of tension in the house growing hourly told me I wasn't the only one concerned about this possibility. But, no one verbalized any of this. Everyone kept to the training schedule or went about their appointed tasks, smiling smiles at each other that never quite made it all the way up to their eyes.

My first day back at school after the long holiday break was a quiet one. Emma and Derek jabbered on through lunch about their respective Thanksgiving holiday experiences, but I just nodded, picked at my ham sandwich, and worried about the impending arrival of the Volturi (or Coven of Doom as I was secretly calling them in my head). As my first bout of training with Jacob was scheduled to commence later in the afternoon, I worried about that as well.

After Jake got home from work and I finished the Shakespeare paper which wasn't technically due for another two weeks (I was trying to put the training off as long as possible), I was marched out into a small clearing located behind the greenhouse. The entire family (and Nahuel) was in attendance as all wanted to see for themselves how the ability sharing between Jacob and I would work in reality versus theory. (_Now you understand why I was procrastinating.)_

I was on one end of the field while Jacob was strategically placed on the other.

"You want to send or receive?" he asked.

Since I'd messed up so abysmally in the sending department last time and everyone was watching, I opted for receiving. Jake agreed, told me to close my eyes, and, without any further ado, started pushing his strength in my direction. Everything happened faster this time. I could feel the tell-tale vibration of our connection and the heat of the incoming gift heading my way. Soon, the warm armor of this added strength was sliding over me. I was better prepared for it this time, but still felt awkward and diffident with it encapsulating me.

"Open your eyes, Nessie!" Jake ordered, his voice harsh from the strain he was under.

I consented. The first thing I saw was his face, reddened from the stress of his exertions. I opened my mouth to ask him if he was OK, but he seemed to feel my concern and answered me before I could even form the question.

"I'm fine. Don't break concentration!"

I nodded, trying to balance my body under the weight of this new, heavy energy. It was like wearing what I imagined a real suit of armor would have been like. I stumbled forward a little, unsure what to do.

"Now, Jasper!" Jacob yelled.

I had enough time to wonder what Jake was talking about before Jasper zipped in front of me and began to attack. His fist flew at my face. Out of reflex, I caught it. My uncle and I had sparred many times, but this was different. Usually, he only came at me at half-strength. Now, he was assaulting me with everything he had. He tried to free his captured wrist, but I held firm. His other fist swung at me, but I caught that one as well. He jerked within my hold, but couldn't remove himself from the prison of my iron grip. _(I know. I'm freaking too.)_ We stared at each other, me confused and him looking shocked.

A feral roar sounded across the field. Emmett had attacked Jake. There was a blur of movement and then the sight of Emmett's gargantuan body flying backward. He landed with a grunt in the middle of the clearing, scattering gobs of dirt as he went. Without thought, I dropped everything and rushed toward Jake. I didn't make it two steps before I was sent sprawling into the dirt on the flat of my back. Jasper stood over me, his booted foot propped across my neck.

"Never break concentration in a battle, niece," he dictated, staring down at me. "And never turn your back on an opponent."

I struggled to remove the boot keeping me confined, but my armor from Jake was gone. My half-vampire strength was no match against Jasper. I kicked out with my feet to trip Jasper up as I'd been taught before, but my uncle was waiting for that. In the end, I just had to lie there, panting, until he decided to set me free. _(Humiliation, thy name is Nessie.)_

"Let her go, Jasper," Jake said.

Jasper ignored him and kept his foot firmly where it was. "Do you understand, Nessie?"

He wasn't going to let me go until I'd showed him I'd learned my lesson._ (It's Jasper's way. Besides, he made his point. I won't ever do that again.)_

"Yes," I grunted. "Never break concentration. Never turn your back on an opponent."

He nodded and removed his foot. I held up a hand and he pulled me to my feet, brushing clumps of black soil off my shoulders and back. His face was wreathed in pride.

"Good," Jasper said, rubbing his wrists as though they ached. (_Which, after his little tripping stunt on me, I hope they did.)_ "You had quite a hold on me. Excellent job, Nessie. Of course, next time I'm going to use more than my fists on you. I'll go all out. Still, great effort for your first time."

I didn't comment. I hurried over to Jake, trying to take stock of him. (He'd gone up against the strongest of us, after all. He had to be injured.)

"Are you hurt?" I asked, running my eyes over him to take in any broken bones, blood, or bruises. I didn't see anything, but kept looking. In fact, it wasn't until I caught his expression that I realized just how unhurt he was.

Jake was grinning like an idiot. He picked me up and twirled me around until I demanded to be put down. Before I could ask him how he thought any of this was funny, he kissed me soundly.

"We did it!" he shouted, squeezing me so hard I wondered if one of my ribs had cracked. "We not only transferred strength; we shared it! Isn't that great?"

"Yeah," I said with a frown. "But you forgot to let me in on the part of the plan where people start attacking us."

He laughed. "We wanted to check your reflexes."

"You're treating me like a kid again." I narrowed my eyes at him. "Do I need to go find some cobbler?"

He didn't look the least bit cowed as he continued to hold me in his arms. "It's not like the Volturi are going to ask permission before they come after you, darlin'. You needed to be on your guard."

I said nothing and told him to release me. He refused. "C'mon, Nessie. You know I'm right about this. Admit it. If it makes you feel better, I didn't know Emmett was going to come after me."

"That was my idea," Jasper happily supplied.

"Jasper," we heard Emmett wheeze from behind us as he staggered back to the sidelines, "remind me to kill you later."

Jasper chuckled at the empty threat.

"Hey, Emmett," Jake called out. "How about a rematch on arm wrestling? With Nessie's help, I bet I could take you."

Emmett held up a hand to wave him off. "No way," he said.

Everyone laughed. Jasper ordered me and Jacob back into position. He wanted us to try it again, this time with me doing the sending. I bit back a groan of dread as I walked over to my spot. "How about we try it with Jake in wolf form?" I suggested. "We can't be sure how the bond will react when he's like that. And, since that's how he'll be when the Volturi comes, it makes sense—"

"Stop stalling, Nessie," Mom called from the sidelines. "Just do your best, and you'll be fine."

_It sucks how well my family knows me._ I muttered a few choice obscenities under my breath to make myself feel better. Twin waves of calm and confidence crested over me and I almost relaxed. Then, I realized where these newfound feelings came from and lost what was left of my temper.

"Jake, Uncle Jasper, cut it out. I don't need that kind of help!"

Jasper, at least, had the sense to look abashed. Jake, however, had no sense at all. He just smiled at me and winked. That wink of his made me shiver involuntarily. _(I hate how he can do that! OK., not really, but right at that moment we'll just say I wasn't loving it.) _Looking down at the ground, I tried to ignore everyone staring at me long enough to scrounge together my own version of calm. _(Have I mentioned how much I hate being the center of attention?)_

_Ignore them and focus on the task at hand._ Closing my eyes, I groped around for my strength like I was in a strange, dark room looking for a light switch. I was pretty sure I'd located it. I took it in my hands. Hefting it up, I shoved it at our connection with all of my might.

It wouldn't go. Every time I would attempt to heave it in Jake's direction, it would slip from my grasp like water through a sieve. I grunted, grabbed the jellied mass of my strength, and started again. And, once more, it refused to go. I tried again and again until I lost my balance.

When I fell back on my butt, I gave up. Opening my eyes, I frowned at my family, daring any one of them to offer me sympathy. Jake tromped over.

Squatting down beside me, he said, "Are you all right?"

"Besides a battered ego?" I asked, sarcastically. "Just peachy."

"What's the problem?"

"I don't know. I can't move my strength into the connection. Every time I pick it up, it slides through my fingers. How are you doing it?"

He shrugged, his eyes holding that far away look as he tried to remember. "I focus on it, lift it up, and hurl it at you. It's as heavy a boulder, but I try not to think about it. I just concentrate on getting it to you."

_Well, isn't that just great_, I thought. If we weren't under the threat of extinction from the Volturi, I probably would have laughed at the ridiculous irony of it all.  
>Jake's strength was a boulder. Mine was Jello.<br>Still sitting on the ground, I shook my head in dismay. _If the outcome of this fight ever ends up depending on me,_ w_e're so screwed._


	31. Can't Win For Losing

**Chapter Thirty-One: Can't Win For Losing**

If someone was keeping a scorecard of the wins and losses for our family over the next few weeks, it probably would have looked something like this.

**Wins****:**

Mom could project her shield as a second skin covering us all. She'd even gotten to the point where she could throw out mini, separate shields at once. (It was so impressive in training that Emmett had nicknamed her "Spider Lady"). She was still working on her speed in doing this, but Dad assured her and everyone else she'd have it down in no time.

The Volturi database was finished and the battle-scenario programming was nearing its completion. Jasper and Emmett had even managed to run a few successful demos with the software. (They also came up with some very cool ideas for _Melon Rebellion II: Rise of the Gourd _before Dad stepped in to remind them of their primary purpose.)

Alice worked feverishly in her training, which incorporated a mixture of meditation and hypnosis techniques which Carlisle had been studying lately. As Alice hadn't uncovered anything decision-wise from the Volturi as of yet, we weren't sure how much these techniques were helping. But, as they kept Alice relaxed and happy, we counted it as a victory.

Jacob could now send me his strength almost at will. Whether in human or wolf form, all he needed to do was concentrate for the barest of moments and his armor would slip over me. It was still a strain on him, but he was getting better at enduring it for longer periods of time. In return, I'd gotten better at wielding this added power.

Our joint training had been expanded to include all-out sparring sessions with Jasper and Emmett. The first day Emmett came after me full-on was enough to make my hair turn gray. (If such a thing could ever happen to me, which it can't.) The hardest part of it all was maintaining my concentration while dodging Jasper's flying fists of fury. (As Jasper is a huge fan of Bruce Lee and alliteration, he took this as a compliment.)

I was aware how vital maintaining concentration between Jake and I was. Without it, the armor wouldn't hold for either of us and we'd be sitting ducks in an attack. Thus far, it was easily the hardest thing I've ever had to do as it's a trial of mental stamina and fortitude. As my half-vampire mind allowed me to think of different things on many levels at once, this should logically have been less difficult for me than Jake. In my bed each night, I wondered how he, with his human brain, was coping. (Not only was he coping. He was a master in comparison to me. Whenever the concentration got broken, it was _always_ because of me. _Ugh!)_

In our training sessions, we'd learned something interesting. Jake's werewolf shifting talent couldn't be shared with me. (This was actually a relief as I didn't know how I'd handle the whole turning-into-a hairy-dog thing.) Carlisle theorized this was because Jacob's shifting was a genetic link to his tribal ancestry. My grandfather further speculated that I probably wouldn't be able to share my own one-touch visual communication skill. (But, as we haven't been able to test this yet, we're not positive.)

**Losses****:**

I still haven't been able to send _anything_ to Jake.

_ Nothing, nada, zilch, zero._

Worse, I was the sole loser on the family team. I've tried everything I can think of to remedy this and I always end up right where I start: Frustrated, tired, and defeated.

Adding to this is the fact that my boyfriend—and, by extension, my family—continued to treat me like a kid. He and my uncles got together for secret strategy sessions after I went to bed, devising the best way to utilize our pooled power to fight the Volturi. When I found out they'd deliberately left me out, I wanted to throw heavy, breakable objects at them. But, I didn't. I acted like an adult and discussed my issues in a calm, dignified manner. I figured they'd have no choice but to take me seriously and agree with my logical, yet amazingly persuasive argument. _Right?_

_Wrong!_ Instead of listening to a word I said, Jake gave me a quick kiss _(on the forehead!)_,patted my hand_,_ and advised me to focus on working out my "sending" problem. (It was all I could do not to slap him upside his head. That my two uncles just sat there nodding in agreement didn't help.)

I tried to not lose my temper. I reasoned that Jacob—however idiotic—was just being practical. I did need to concentrate on working out whatever obstacle was keeping me from sending him things. But, inside, I was riled at the mere thought of being excluded. My anger became a slow burn refusing to be extinguished. Piling fuel on this fire was the fact that my family had decided to toss aside my plan of bullying the Volturi into leaving us alone. The majority opinion was that it was one of those ideas which would work better in theory than in reality.

"Nessie," my father concluded, "Aro is intelligent, methodical, and calculating. In his mind, you are a threat to the Volturi's absolute power, and, therefore, must be destroyed at all costs. Once he decides on a plan of attack—_and he will_—there will be no backing down. To do so would mean losing face. They know we will not stand aside and watch you die, so they will come at us with everything they have. Our only hope for survival is to outwit him and have a better battle plan in place before he gets here. We must think offensively instead of defensively. It is the only way to eliminate them, once and for all."

And, with that, I was promptly excluded from any further tactical sessions with the family. It didn't matter how heatedly I debated, how many solid points I made, how many of my other "theories" had been right. Their minds were made up, and my protests were for naught. I'd have screamed my head off if I thought it would do any good.

Instead of incessantly arguing with me, my loved ones came up with ways of keeping me busy under the belief that, if I was occupied, I wouldn't notice all the things they were planning behind my back.

Jasper, Emmett, and Jacob trained me every day until I nearly dropped from exhaustion. Carlisle insisted on prepping me for my advanced physics midterm, which was coming up in a week—even though I have an A in the subject and haven't needed help in the past. (He's my grandfather. He knows I can't say no.).

Alice had me up to my elbows in various patterns for prom dresses. When I mentioned that prom wasn't until April, she waved her hand dismissively and told me it was never too early to prepare. She was set on designing my gown herself with Rosalie and Esme assisting her with the sewing. (That I hadn't made any plans to attend prom as of yet didn't seem to matter to anyone.)

Rosalie needed help catching up on her scrapbooking. I, of course, was volunteered by Esme to aid her in this. (Another grandparent I can't say "no" to.) In any spare moments left over, my father had me filling out college applications and writing essays until my head was swimming with reasons why I was an ideal candidate to attend So-and-so University. (I had applied for my top three schools over a few months ago, but he kept exclaiming how one could never be too careful.)

I seethed until I thought steam might start venting out of my ears. Mom slipped into my room every night after I went to bed, rubbed my overheated forehead with her cool fingers, and told me over and over again how I shouldn't worry about all of this. Things were well under control. I would understand why they were doing this one day.

_Whatever. _Honestly, if I was treated anymore like a baby, they'd be changing my diapers.

And, with each day this behavior continued, the flame of my anger burned brighter. I tried again and again to talk to them, some one-on-one, some as a group, but, in the end, it didn't matter. No one was budging.

On one of our few nights alone together in Jake's apartment, I made a final attempt to reason with him. I knew if I could convince him, the others would fall like dominoes. Thanks to the connection, I knew he had to be aware of my feelings already. At the same time, I could feel his fear for my safety and the iron determination to see this through.

We were sitting on his couch watching an _I Love Lucy _rerun and holding hands like an old married couple or something. _( It's pathetic. He doesn't even try to make out with me anymore.)_ I'm not sure if I'm more frustrated by this turn of events or offended.

"Jake, we need to discuss these plans you all have for the Volturi."

"Hmm?" he said, not turning his eyes from the television.

The second I heard Ricky tell Lucy she had some "'splainin' to do," I began again. "I don't like how everyone's not including me in the planning. I'm not a kid. I've got ideas that could help us. It's ridiculous to openly attack the Volturi when they come. People would die. Our loved ones will die. There's no way all of us could survive. Wouldn't it be better to come up with a solution where we'd all live?"

He rubbed his thumb over my fingers. "It's fine, Nessie. Don't worry. We're working it all out."

Again, he was watching the television instead of me. I snatched my hand away from his, but he didn't seem to notice. Like the night of the cobbler incident, I felt something hard snap inside me. I refused to be treated like a kid for one more minute. I was a fully grown woman, damn it. It was time he noticed.

My attention briefly bounced to the television where Lucy was kissing her way back into Ricky's good graces. I grinned to myself as an ingenious idea hit. (Ingenious and stupid at the same time—I'll admit. But, at the moment, I was too angry and frustrated to care.) I wasn't going to hit Jake this time—with a fist or pastry. Nope, I was going to drive my point home in a completely new way he wouldn't soon forget.

Moving my hands up to the pink button down shirt I was wearing, I quickly pushed buttons through button holes as Jake flipped through channels looking for something else to help him ignore me. I pulled the shirt off, leaving me in nothing but a little cotton camisole and a bra. All the rustling movement caused his gaze to shift to me.

"What are you doing?" he asked in surprise. "Are you hot or something?"

I tossed the shirt aside and stood up. "Yep," I answered, "I can honestly say I'm feeling very . . . heated . . . at the moment." I reached down to snatch the remote control out of his hands. Turning off the television, I put the remote on the coffee table and flipped back around to him. Without any further ado, I hoisted the cammy over my head. I casually flipped it over my shoulder, slipped out of my sneakers, and tried to pretend I wasn't nervous to be standing in front of him in nothing but a scrap of white lace, a pair of jeans, and some socks.

"Nessie!" he gasped, his jaw falling open.

I took advantage of his surprise to straddle his lap. Snaking my arms around his neck, I smiled because, _finally_, I had his full attention (Actually, my bra did, but as he was still looking at me, I took this as progress.) I curled an index finger under his chin, forcing his eyes up to meet mine.

"Hi there," I said. "Are you listening now?"

"Nessie, what do you think you're doing? This is crazy, and I—"

"Guess not," I murmured and covered his mouth with my own, kissing him into silence. He kissed me back. (I wanted to laugh in devilish glee, but I figured it would only spoil the mood.) His arms gripped my hips tightly before sliding up my waist and back. Weaving his fingers into my hair, he cupped the back of my head and angled it to better receive his mouth. Just as he was really getting into it (and I was about to lose control), I broke away.

His expression was of someone heavily drugged with his face flushed, his eyelids droopy, and his pupils dilated. He tried to pull me back down for another kiss. I yanked back against him, refusing his advances.

"What are you doing?" he asked, nearly breathless.

I smiled. "Getting your attention. Do I have it?"

He returned my smile warily. "Yes." He captured my jaw in his hand and tried to coax me down for another kiss. Again, I refused.

"I want to talk to you first," I said by way of explanation.

His hand ran down my neck and over my naked shoulder. I shivered involuntarily, reminded of how unclothed I was, sitting on his lap.

"About what?" he inquired absently.

As his eyes had drifted down to study my chest again, I decided to be direct. "Do you think I'm a child?"

His gaze darted up to meet mine. He looked confused, lustful, and mildly suspicious. The overriding sentiment coming from his end of our connection was the lust. "Nessie, what are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about being a woman versus being a child. Which do you see me as?"

His hands gripped my waist almost painfully. "A woman, of course."

I ran my hands lightly over his sweater, tracing little, invisible patterns with my fingers which I knew would drive him wild. "An _adult_ woman?" I pressed.

Groaning, Jake leaned up to pepper little kisses along my shoulder and collar bone. He worked his way down to the swells of my breasts. I forgot how to breathe.

"Huh?" he mumbled as he made it to the valley between my breasts. He placed a delicate kiss there and then a languid, hot, wet lick.

_Oh. My. God._

"I s-s-said do you see . . . me . . . as . . . an a-a-adult?" My brain was short circuiting from his oral ministrations. I jerked my body away from his mouth, holding him back against the couch by his shoulders. "Well?" I prompted.

""You're an adult. Otherwise, I wouldn't be doing _this_." He grabbed the back of my head and yanked me down for an intense, seductive kiss. Jake pulled out all the stops. His lips slanted over mine again and again. His tongue explored and tickled the roof of my mouth. His warm hands caressed me from shoulders to hips. I was overwhelmed with his passion as well as my own. That's when I realized exactly how bad an idea this was.

I was getting sucked under. Just as he was adjusting our bodies to lay me down on the sofa, I used my half-vampire speed to propel myself across the room.

He blinked, took a minute, and then found me. "What are you doing over there?"

"This isn't working." I muttered, more to myself than him.

"What?" he asked, rubbing a hand over his face.

"I was trying to talk to you."

His lust evaporated. One eyebrow arched in defiance. "Was that before or after you stripped?"

I crossed my arms over my semi-naked chest. "I needed your attention."

"And you thought teasing me was the best way to accomplish that?"

I shrugged and looked away, embarrassed. I could bluntly see the foolishness of this plan now. _What was I thinking?_

"What were you thinking?" he demanded. "How did you see this ending? You were going to kiss me into agreeing with you? Seduce me into doing whatever you say?"

That he was right on the mark didn't help things one bit. It's one thing for you to condemn yourself for doing something stupid. But, when someone else does it—no matter how much you might secretly agree with them—you won't admit it. Nope. You will defend your actions past all points of logic.

I'm no different.

"If it meant you'd actually pay attention to me? Yes," I declared.

"I do pay attention to you. We spend hours together every day."

"Yeah," I grumbled, "training."

He narrowed his eyes, letting me know he'd heard me. "You're all I think about. Taking up every thought in my brain isn't good enough for you?"

"You don't think about me. You think about what's best for me, like I'm a child. I'm an adult, Jacob, who has feelings, ideas, and deserves to be included in the life-and-death decisions this family is making. I'm an adult!"

"Yes," he agreed, sarcastically waving a hand in my direction, "your actions tonight have more than illustrated that point for you."

I gasped in surprise, hurt, and anger. I zipped over to my camisole and tugged it on. "What should I have done instead? Trying to talk to you gets me nowhere."

"Nessie, you don't want to talk to people. You want them to agree with you. When they don't, you want to keep talking until they do. That's not a conversation. It's Chinese water torture."

My body jerked as though he'd struck me. I found my shirt and shoved my arms into the sleeves. "The fact that this family is wrong means nothing then?" I pulled my shoes back on. "I'm just supposed to shut up and let people die?"

"No." He exhaled as he rose from the couch. "You're supposed to trust us to figure out the right solution."

He walked towards me as though he were going to take me into his arms and offer comfort. _(Like I was a kid he'd just punished.)_

I blurred back to the door and hit him where it hurt. "Put one paw on me, wolf boy, and you're going to draw back a nub."

His face was awash in pain and anger. _Good_, I thought. _Now he knows how I feel._

Jake took a deep breath and leveled me with a heated stare. "I don't want to fight with you," he finally said.

I grabbed the knob of the door and twisted. With a quick look over my shoulder, I replied, "Too late."

And with that, I flew out the door and back into the house. Jacob was smart enough not to follow me. As I made it past my stunned family and up to my room, my mind could only register one thought:

_If I'm such an adult, why am I crying like a baby?_


	32. Wars, Peace, And Payback

**Chapter Thirty-Two: Wars, Peace, and Payback**

The Cullens were at war with the Volturi. I was at war with Jacob.

By the next morning, I was a perfect model of righteous indignation. _Who does Jake think he is? I'm not in the wrong here._ _It might not have been the most intelligent of plans, but I was backed into a corner. He's the one who's been ignoring me to the point of insanity. What else could I do to get his attention? _

_ And Chinese water torture?_ _Really?_ _How dare he say such things to me! _

That our argument seemed to be playing on some type of infinite mental loop in my brain only made it worse. _(It's also amazing how many good comebacks come to mind the minute I'm not face to face with Jake.)_

Fortunately, my more logical side raised its weary head by lunchtime while I was sitting at my usual table in the cafeteria listening to Emma and Derek debate topics for the big speech coming up in public speaking class. (They weren't in my period, but they still had the same class and teacher.)

By then, I was finally calm enough to realize how wrong I'd been to pull my little maneuver on Jake and how right he'd been to call me on it. _(That's not to say I'm now OK with everyone treating me like a kid, but I at least better understand why it's happening as well as my portion of the blame for it.)_

The main question was how to call a cease-fire between me and Jake. The battle lines had been clearly drawn this morning. As Jake was scheduled to be one of ones taking me to school, I'd flounced into the kitchen ready to torment him with a large helping of attitude with a splash of cold shoulder.

Except, he wasn't there.

No, my errant boyfriend had turned the tormenting tables on me by leaving for work early and asking Emmett to take his place in my carpool. This news was a hot knife in my stomach. Bitterly raising my chin, I gave Emmett a stiff nod as he finished his explanation. Without a word, I climbed into the backseat of my dad's Volvo, crossed my arms over my chest, and tried to convince myself I didn't care.

The ride to school was a silent one. It was obvious Jake and I were fighting, but no one dared ask me about it. (This is the good thing about my family. When a couple is at odds—which doesn't happen too often—we have a strict rule that everyone else must stay out of it. As Jake and I were now officially a couple, we fell under this protection. I could tell holding back his questions was proving difficult for my father as he and Emmett rode with me to school, but he still didn't say anything. (As my thoughts were bouncing back and forth from how much I wanted to curl up in my bed and never come out again to how much I wanted to throw heavy objects at Jacob's head, I gave Dad full credit for not breaking the rule.)

My anger lasted all the way through English and U.S. history. (Studying about Benedict Arnold didn't help this.) I finally started to calm down as I conjugated verbs in French class. And, by the time I was walking with Emma and Derek to lunch, the realization of what a massive bonehead I'd been the night before was slowly starting to sink in.

"What's with the frown, Nessie?" Derek asked, breaking in to my reverie. "You worried about the speech?"

I looked up from the spaghetti I'd been absentmindedly winding and unwinding around my fork. "Huh?"

"The process speech due in January. You know, what we've been talking about for the last twenty minutes?"

I shrugged. "Haven't given it much thought." (More like my plan was to ignore it as long as possible.)

"How'd you do on the informative one from a few weeks ago?"

The memory alone was enough to make me grimace.

Emma took pity on me and explained. "Nessie isn't big fan of public speaking."

"Nobody _loves _public speaking," Derek said. "The best thing to do is just forget there's a crowd in front of you and pretend you're having a conversation with friends."

I wanted to roll my eyes. I'd heard this advice before, not to mention the tip on picturing your audience naked. Neither had ever worked. "I'm a train wreck no matter what. Last time, I tried to talk about the Roman Empire and ended up discussing salad recipes."

Derek looked confused and intrigued at the same time. "Sounds like a fascinating story. Do tell."

I held up a hand so he'd know how little interest I had in sharing that particular humiliation. "Not gonna happen," I said, smiling to ease the sting of my curt tone. "What's your chosen topic for the process speech?"

"Well, since it's supposed to be about telling the audience how to do something, I was considering doing a 'how to' on trout fishing. Emma says it's too boring. What do you think?"

I considered this for a moment. "I guess it depends on how you convey it. Any speech can be boring with the wrong delivery."

Derek beamed at me. "Exactly what I said!"

Emma's mouth twisted as she pushed some of her shoulder-length brown hair behind one ear. "I just thought he should take into account his audience, which, in this case, happens to be mostly female. There are so many better topics out there."

"We can't all regale the world with our supreme culinary skills, Emma," he chided.

"You can bake?" I asked her. This was news to me.

She shrugged. "A little."

"A_ little_?" Derek repeated. "She's the best. She made me a chocolate soufflé one time that I still fantasize about."

Emma pinkened prettily from the compliments and presented Derek with a shy smile. Derek grinned and winked at her in return. One thing suddenly became clear. While I'd been so focused on my personal issues, my friends were focusing on each other. My attention swung back and forth between the two of them, wondering how far along this little love affair was.

"When did you make a chocolate soufflé, Emma, and how did I miss out?" I playfully pouted.

Her gray eyes darted bashfully down to her empty drink can. "Derek and I have Spanish IV and study together sometimes. I was making a bunch of soufflés for this church youth group social thing we had coming up, and he got to eat a leftover one I had. It's no big deal."

"Believe me," Derek said, "it's a big deal." He reached out as if to pat Emma's hand but seemed to abruptly think better of it. He brought the hand up to smooth his blond hair instead and turned to Greg Truman, who was seated nearby, to talk football.

For the next few minutes, I watched Emma watch Derek talk to his friends. Her earnest yearning for him was so palpable it made my own heart reverberate with a pang of longing for Jacob. I wondered idly what he was doing right then. I briefly considered sending out a probe through our connection to see if I could pick up on his emotions, but Emma recaptured my attention by getting to her feet. She gave a half-hearted excuse about needing something from her locker before the next class. I decided to go with her, and we bid Derek goodbye. He smiled and waved before returning to his conversation.

Emma and I barely made it out of the cafeteria before I confronted her. "So, how long have you had a thing for Derek?"

Her pink cheeks bloomed to a rosy red. "I don't have a 'thing' for him!"

"Yeah, right," I sarcastically drawled. "And my favorite subject's public speaking. C'mon! Spill!"

It seemed like forever before she answered. "It doesn't matter how I feel about him. He's hung up on you," she grumbled, not meeting my gaze as we made it to her locker.

"What?" I frowned.

"It's true. You should see how he looks at you all the time."

I shook my head. "I'm not sure what you think you saw, but that boy likes you. He and I over and have been over since the Winter Formal. We talked it all out. He's cool with it. So am I. We're nothing more than friends."

"I'm not so sure he's as OK with it as you think. Besides, you don't have a boyfriend and, as long as you're available, he's going to feel there's a chance to get you back. Then, you eat lunch with him every day, and he . . ."

While she continued to list all of her reasons for why Derek and I were the "perfect couple," I thought about how much of my life I don't share with those outside my family. There are so many things Emma doesn't know about me. (Beyond the supernatural stuff, of course.) Maintaining privacy around humans has been instilled in me since birth for my protection as well as theirs. And, as I knew me and my family would be changing our identities sooner or later (and I'd probably never see Emma after this school year), it had been a good idea to keep many of the personal details of my everyday life from her. Now, I realized it was interfering with her happiness.

"Actually, I do have a boyfriend." _Unless he wants to break up with me for the childish stunt I pulled on him last night_, I mentally lambasted myself. (I wasn't truly worried about this happening. Jake and I were imprinted, after all. Come to think of it, this might be the first time I was _relieved_ to be imprinted on him. _Will wonders never cease?_)

"Really?" Emma asked, opening her locker. "Does he go to school here?"

"Yes, really, and no, my boyfriend is out of high school."

Her eyes went wide with interest. "Really?"

(And this is another reason I've been reticent about what kind of private information I put out there. The questions are neverending.) I waved a dismissive hand. "It doesn't matter. What matters is I can tell you for a fact that Derek doesn't like me, whether I have a boyfriend or not. He certainly isn't coming over to _my_ house for secret study sessions."

"It was only twice. It didn't mean anything."

"If he's still fantasizing about it, it meant _something_."

Emma's head fell wearily into her hands. "He was just being nice, Nessie. Someone like Derek Martin wouldn't like someone like _me_ like that. I'm a _nobody_. He's the most popular boy in school. How'd that look?"

I peered around the empty hallway. "Who's looking?"

"You know what I mean."

"Emma, Castlewood High is a small school, way too small to have the stereotypical cliques like the bigger ones do. I think the only obstacle standing in the way of you getting what you want is _you_."

The second the words left my mouth, I thought about this in relation to my problems with Jacob. Maybe I needed to take a little of my own advice. Maybe, instead of demanding everyone consider me an adult, I should just start acting like one. I winced as my seduction plan from last night replayed in my mind. _Not my finest hour._

As Emma was waiting for me to continue like I was the Dalai Lama or something, I returned my attention fully to her. "If you want Derek, you should go after him. If it helps, I think he likes you too."

"I don't know," Emma responded, biting her lip, "but it's definitely something to think about." She grabbed her books, slammed her locker, and trudged pensively down the hallway. Mutely, I followed along.

_Definitely something to think about. _Yeah_, _we had that in common.

—**D—**

I was knee deep in calculus homework when I felt Jake return home. Without thought, I rose from my desk and zipped downstairs. I didn't know what I was going to say to him or what I wanted him to say to me. I only knew a ceaseless ache to be with him which desperately needed to be eased. It had been pounding inside of me all afternoon with increasing rhythm and tempo. Now that he was so close, I couldn't handle being separated another second.

I zoomed past Emmett, Nahuel, and Jasper, who were piled on the couch laughing their way through an episode from the old _Batman_ series from the '60s.

"Nessie, you gotta watch this!" Emmett said. "It's better than reality television any day."

I ignored him. As I made it through the front door and was about to shut it behind me, I was stopped by the sight of Jacob stepping up onto the porch. He paused when our gazes locked.

"Hi," he said quietly.

"Hi," I returned.

Our connection buzzed like someone had just flicked on a switch. Neither of us said another thing for a full minute, we simply stared at each other. It felt like I hadn't seen him in a million years. He looked so . . . _good_. The desire to touch him was agony. I needed him so much. In that moment, I couldn't even remember the reason for our argument. (I knew it was important, but was at a loss as to what it was about.)

Then, I was like a magnet brought too close to metal. Without a conscious thought, I propelled myself at him just as he stepped towards me. He caught me in his arms as I dragged him into a fevered kiss. This wasn't a playful or teasing embrace. It was a raging inferno consuming everything in its path. We kissed, caressed, and held one another like we were starving animals trying to get sustenance. I moaned and hopped urgently against his chest. He knew what I wanted and pulled me up, holding me against his body by my behind. I wrapped my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck as I plundered his mouth with mine.

He broke away, trailing hot kisses down my jaw line as his hands kneaded my butt.

"I'm sorry. Let's not fight anymore," I moaned as he lightly sucked the vee of my neck. "I can't stand it."

"Me either. I'm sorry, too," he murmured.

I ran my hands through his black hair and arched my body closer to his. "I love you."

"As I love you," he growled as he captured my lips in another soul-searing kiss.

"Renesmee?"

My mother's voice had the effect of a cold shower. (It's a good thing I have excellent, supernatural reflexes or, when Jake abruptly dropped me, I'd have hit the ground.)

I looked up and then wished I hadn't. Having my parents and grandparents catching me like this made me wish I'd actually hit the ground or been knocked into a coma or flung into the far reaches of space—_anything_ to get away from the uncomfortable awkwardness which defined this moment.

"Hi, Mom, Papa Carlisle, Mama Esme." I grimaced before I said the last name. "Hi, Dad. What are you all doing here?" I concentrated on brushing nonexistent dirt off the back of my jeans as a blush heated my face.

Mom, Esme, and Carlisle looked somewhat amused by this predicament. My father was infinitely less so. _(Have I mentioned how old-fashioned he is? Of course, even the most forward thinking of fathers is going to unhappy to see his daughter making out with his own eyes.)_

"We just returned from hunting," Dad said with a scowl at Jake. "What were you two doing?"

Jacob slid an arm around my waist and hauled me to his side. "Nessie and I were just working some things out. We can move our discussion to my apartment so we'll be out of the way."

If I blushed anymore, I'd look sunburned. From Jake's end of the connection, I could tell he hadn't really thought out his words before he'd spoken. He'd meant that we'd be actually _talking _in the apartment not … _you know_. Jacob, no doubt hearing what he'd said repeated in his head, started to sputter out a more defined explanation.

Interrupting before my discomfited boyfriend could put his foot any further in his mouth, Mom said. "Maybe we'll go inside so you and Renesmee can finish your _discussion_ here on the porch. I don't know if the apartment would be a good place for you both to be under the circumstances."

"That sounds like a fair compromise," Carlisle put in. "We'll leave you two to it then, shall we?" He looked determinedly at my father, who didn't seem inclined to move. "Come along, Edward."

I tried not to smile as Dad, between my mother and Carlisle, was given no choice but to go inside. It was nice to see someone else being treated like a child for once besides me.

As the door shut behind them, I turned back to Jake.

"Well," he said, running a hand through his hair, "that was a mess."

I nodded. "Everything is."

He took my hand in his and brought it to his lips. "You were right. We—I mean _I_—should not have ignored you or treated you like less than an adult. I can imagine how frustrating it must have been and how it might have led you to—"

"Do something stupid like try to seduce my boyfriend into complying with my demands?" I finished for him.

A sexy little smile teased the corners of his mouth. "Something like that."

I smiled in return. "And I'm sorry for trying to force my opinions on everyone and for my actions of last night. It was a dumb thing to do. It won't happen again."

He yanked me forward and closed my body tightly within his embrace. "Oh, I don't think seducing me is ever going to be a bad idea. But, teasing me? Well, that's a punishable offense."

I laughed. "Are you going to put me in timeout?"

He gave me a swift kiss. "Nah," he drawled. "You're an adult, which means whatever you do to me . . ." Jacob's voice deliberately trailed off as he rained kisses over to my ear, which he then whispered into. "I get to do to you."

I wound my arms around his neck and giggled. "Sounds fair."

"Glad you agree," he said before kissing me for all he was worth. When I was so overcome that my toes were curling in my shoes and I'd forgotten how to breathe, he pulled back and carefully stood me a little ways away from him. I looked up in a curious daze.

"What are you doing?" I asked, automatically reaching for him.

He patted my cheek before stepping around me to go into the house. Opening the door, Jacob turned back with a grin and said, "Payback's a bitch, huh?"

And, with that, my boyfriend left me alone on the porch—hot, bothered, and frustrated. I shook my head and muttered to myself before following him inside.

"I have _so_ got to regain the upper hand in this relationship."


	33. Personal Television

**Chapter Thirty-Three: Personal Television**

The war to get Jake to recognize me as an adult might have been peacefully settled, but the one with my family was still very much on. Never was this more obvious than when I was getting ready for bed that evening and heard them all talking in the dining room. (Jake had told me earlier that there was a meeting planned tonight. He'd even offered to go to bat for me against the family to make them let me stay, but I told him not to worry. I had a plan for this.)

Pulling on a robe over my nightgown, I padded downstairs and wordlessly took a place next to Jacob at the table. All conversation ceased the second I sat down as everyone turned to stare at me.

Unfazed, I stared right back.

"I thought you were going to sleep."

My father's tone when he said this let me know how displeased he was to have me here. I didn't even blink before I answered him. "That was before I heard you all talking. I assume you're discussing the Volturi?"

"You should be in bed, Nessie. You have school tomorrow," Rosalie softly admonished.

"Yeah," Emmett agreed. "This doesn't concern you. You need to be concentrating on whatever is standing between you sending Jacob your strength through your imprinting."

Beside me, I felt Jake's body tense. Afraid he was going to jump in to defend me and knowing how little help that was going to be in me proving how grown up I was. I reached over to take his hand. I squeezed. He squeezed back. Through our connection, I could feel him sending me calm, but I didn't need it. I knew how to handle this.

I kept my tone as serene as possible as I replied, "I'm able to multitask, Uncle Emmett. I can handle dealing with my training issues in addition to planning for the Volturi. As an adult member of this family, I have a right to hear what's going on, to voice my opinion, and to cast a vote in family decisions. And, I'm exercising those rights—right now."

I looked around the table, wanting any one of them to find fault with my logic (which I knew they couldn't do.) Their expressions varied. Nahuel was an enigma, staring as though he were set on boring a hole into me with his eyes. Mom's worry and uncertainty were almost tangible. Carlisle was watchful and patient. Alice and Esme were both smiling encouragement. Emmett was frustrated, Jasper was pensive, and Rosalie was flat out angry. But, I wasn't really concerned about their reactions. I'd known all along that it was going to be my father who was the toughest obstacle in this.

The determined set of his jaw told me the mighty Edward Cullen was considering pulling parental rank on me. But, I was more than ready for that tactic. _Do it_, I mentally told him, _and it will change nothing. I'm not budging on this._

He raised an _oh yeah? _eyebrow at me. I gave it back to him.

_Remember, Dad, I've got all of Grandpa Charlie's stubbornness as well as Mom's—and yours—combined in one, hardheaded, Cullen-Swan cocktail. So, take a big swig because, even though you're my father and I love you, I'm not going anywhere. _

The rest of the family ping-ponged looks between me and Dad, aware we were involved in some kind of telepathic game of chicken. They're eyes finally settled on Dad, waiting to see what he would do.

As he continued to stare at me, a sardonic grin cracked one corner of his mouth. He flicked a glance at Jake, who gave him a solitary nod. At long last, Dad turned to the group, and said, "Jasper, you were going over the latest battle scenario?"

Jasper nodded and began to speak. I released the breath I'd been holding, relieved it was over. A great sense of pride was pouring from Jake. He squeezed my hand. I squeezed back and tried to relax against my chair.

This being an adult thing certainly wasn't for the faint of heart.

—**D—**

By the next afternoon, I wasn't worried about being killed by the Volturi anymore. No, I was fairly sure it was training that was going to be the death of me.

Grunting, I fell to my knees, sucking air into my lungs like I'd been about to drown. Thankfully, only Jacob, Jasper, and Emmett were on hand to witness my latest sending failure.

"Again, Nessie!" Jasper yelled from the sidelines.

"Back off, Jazz," Jacob countered, sprinting towards me to make sure I was okay.

I held up a hand to let him know I was fine and got wearily to my feet. I was exhausted, but determined to finally get this right.

Jake stopped a moment before taking another step toward me. I held up my other hand to halt his progress and straightened my body in preparation to try again. Closing my eyes, I clamored around inside of myself until I could mentally see the gelatin-like mass which represented my strength. I hefted it up and shoved it at him through our bond. As usual, it refused to go, like it was invisibly chained to something else inside of me. I continued pushing anyway, visualizing trying to get the jellied square to fit in the round tube of our connection.

"Nessie!" I heard Jake exclaim in surprise.

I broke concentration to look at him. "What?" I asked, feeling his excitement through our bond. "Did you feel it? Please tell me you felt something!" _Please tell me I'm closer to not sucking at this_, I added bitterly. The smile on his face gave me hope. "Well?" I prompted, blurring over to him.

"What happened?" Jasper demanded as he and Emmett appeared next to us.

"I saw something. It was a big cube of . . ." Jacob's voice trailed off as he searched for the right word. "Jelly? It looked like a big, clear box of jelly." He shook his head in confusion. "What was that, Nessie?"

My jaw dropped. Of course, I instantly knew what he was talking about._ Jake can't receive my strength physically, but he can see it in my head? How is that even possible? Did the imprinting now allow him to read my mind or something?_

"What am I thinking?" I asked him, testing the theory.

"What _was_ that?" he countered.

"Just tell me what I'm thinking and I'll tell you what it was." I kept my gaze focused on him, settling my thoughts into one looping line of dialogue. _Can you read my mind, Jake?_

His eyes narrowed at me as he focused. Within a few minutes, he shook his head again and exhaled heavily. "I'm not Edward. I can feel you're frustrated and confused, but I can't pick up any thoughts. Your turn. Tell me what I saw."

I sighed, more bewildered than ever. "It was my strength," I answered. "That big box of jelly is my strength, or at least how I picture it in my mind. Ironic, isn't it?" I let out a sarcastic hiss of a laugh, wanting to cry instead.

"Nessie," Jasper said, interrupting my pity party.

"What?"

"Close your eyes," he ordered.

I groaned. "I'm done for the day, Uncle Jazz. I'm all full up on failure."

"This isn't about the strength sending. Just do what I say. Close your eyes."

Curious to see where Jasper was going with this, I did as I was bid and waited for further instructions.

"Picture something in your mind. Make it as colorful, weird, or detailed as you want, but make it unique and don't tell Jake what it is."

I nodded, immediately replaying one my favorite memories: My first date with Jacob. I could clearly see the old drive-in with the painted white buildings. The two of us were snuggling in the front seat of his Nova, nibbling on popcorn and laughing together. I smiled in reaction.

"Got it," I said.

"Send it to him."

Opening my eyes, I protested, "You mean like using my visualization power? I'd have to touch him to do that."

"Try to send it to him through your connection. Don't touch him. Just send it."

Confused, I protested. "But—"

"Do it, Nessie."

_O-Kay_, I thought, more than a little curious to see if it would work this way. After all, Jacob had been able to see the jelly, maybe he'd be able to see this as well. I closed my eyes again, picked up the scene where I'd left off and projected it with everything inside of me to Jake. Out of habit of having to touch someone, I threw up a hand in his direction.

I felt it the second the images hit him. His excitement and surprise jolted through me like a heavy dose of caffeine. It was such a shock that I almost lost concentration. _Almost,_ but I managed to hold on to it. Within the two of us, the scene played out, like we were watching old home movies of ourselves.

"Nessie," Jacob breathed in wonder.

My eyes opened to find him looking at me, but not really seeing me. Outwardly, his expression was blank as he viewed what I was sending, like he was watching a television show or something. Inwardly, however, he was with me all the way. We were together, mentally reliving our first date. Unlike Jake, I could see the man standing in front of me. But, simultaneously, I could see the two of us in his Nova in that empty drive in, watching Scarlett and Rhett argue on a big screen. It was like having a computer with two monitors. I could change my focus on whichever I wanted, all while maintaining the visualization for Jake.

The first thing I noticed was how easy this was maintain compared to sharing strength through our connection. I assumed this was because I was used to visually sharing things with people. Nevertheless, it was still odd not to be touching someone while doing this. The oddness of it got to me so I abruptly ceased everything and stepped back, dropping my arms to my sides.

"What was that? How am I able to do that?" I said, turning to look at my bewildered uncles.

"My best guesses?" Jasper replied. "One: You're visualization power got a boost from your connection with Jake. Two: The fact that you're able to mentally receive things from him helped open up this portion of your power. Three: Growing up somehow enhanced the power and you just weren't aware of it until now."

"Who cares why? It's freaking cool," Emmett exclaimed. "Me next! Send something to me."

Jake was already shaking his head. "I don't think it works that way, Emmett. Nessie is imprinted on me, after all."

"Yeah, but she can usually send her thoughts and memories to everyone else. I don't see why this would be any different."

"But, if the power boost comes from our connection, it would make sense that she could only use it with me," Jake argued.

"That's only if that's the reason she has this boost at all. Like Jazz said, it could just come with her maturing. C'mon, Jacob, don't be stingy with the new toys," Emmett said. "Hey, Nessie, wanna try it?"

Emmett had peaked my interest. He was right. Once I touched them, nobody could keep me out of their heads. The prospect of being able to project things without having the physical contact was intriguing. (It was also nice to finally be able to do something right—even if I had stumbled onto this particular ability by screwing up something else.)

"Let's try," I said.

"Excellent!" Emmett cheered, almost giddy with excitement. "That's why you're my favorite niece."

I laughed. "I'm your _only_ niece."

He shrugged. "Still counts."

I didn't close my eyes this time as I was used to sending visualizations by keeping them open. I settled on picturing the first thing that came to mind. It ended up being a large blue and white sailboat floating sedately into the sunset. I held out a hand in Emmett's direction and threw the image at him, waiting to see what would happen.

It didn't take long to get a reaction.

"Never knew you were into sailing," he said. Like Jake, his expression was blank as he watched the sailboat bob up and down in the water. "This is too cool, niece. You're like my own personal television." He chuckled at his little joke.

"Very funny," I muttered. Emmett's amusement faded when I visualized him on the deck of the boat and then added a school of big, vampire-eating sharks attacking it.

"Hey!" he objected.

I laughed and broke off his "signal" just as the sailboat was about to capsize. "That'll teach you. Personal television? Really?"

"You've got a wicked, wicked soul, Nessie Cullen." His grin widened as he zipped over to my side in order to sling a large arm over my shoulders. "Looks like I raised you well."

"Raised me?" I echoed in surprise. "How do you figure?"

"I changed your diapers. I get credit for raising you."

"I was potty trained by two weeks old!"

"You still wore diapers before that, diapers _I_ changed."

"_Diaper_, you mean. Rosalie said you only changed one before you refused to do it anymore."

He chuckled and gave another shrug. "Still counts."

"No, it doesn't."

"Yes it does. It also makes me your favorite uncle because Jasper didn't change any."

"No, it doesn't," I debated, guffawing at his overly inflated ego.

Our bickering ended with Jasper reminding us all that we were here to train. The next hour was spent testing and tweaking my enhanced ability. We discovered that I needed my hand thrust outward for it to work. The hand seemed to operate like an antenna, directing the stream of my visualizations at whomever I wished it to go to. We also learned that me sending it to multiple people at once was impossible. One person at a time was all I could seem to handle.

Emmett finally called an end to our training by explaining that he had packages waiting for him in the mailbox. (He'd ordered the first two seasons of _Batman_ on DVD last night online with priority overnight shipping.)

"Why are you watching that?" Jake asked him as we began heading back to the house.

"It's corny as all I get out, but, for some reason, the over the top corniness makes it all the more addicting. You've got to check it out," Emmett gushed as he and Jacob walked ahead of me and Jasper.

I rolled my eyes and turned to the uncle beside me. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," Jasper answered, slowing down so that more space was between us and Emmett and Jake.

"How do you manipulate multiple emotions at once with your ability?"

He pondered this for a moment. "I don't know how. I just do. I've been able to do it since I was first made vampire. Why do you ask?"

My mouth twisted into a disappointed pout. "Well, I was considering how your gift works in comparison to mine. They're very similar, don't you think?"

"How so?"

"We can make people feel—or, in my case, see—anything we want them to."

He nodded. "OK. So, you think knowing how mine works will help you be able to send your visualizations to multiple people?"

"It's certainly worth a try, at least. You can manipulate individuals as well as groups, right?"

"Of course. It's trickier to do just one person, but I can handle it. You should know as you're usually the one I'm doing it to." He grinned unrepentantly.

I elbowed him in the ribs, hurting myself more than him. "Then show me what the difference is. Teach me how to transmit to more than one person."

"Honestly, Nessie, I don't think you can. We tried everything we could think of out there. You could only send to one person at a time. It's not the worst thing in the world, you know. Be grateful you can do it at all." He sighed in answer to the frustrated groan I emitted. "Look, it's like Edward and Aro. They both telepathic, but they don't do it the same way. They each have their own unique perks and drawbacks. Edward can read multiple minds at once without touching anyone, but he can only read what someone's thinking about at the moment. Aro can read everything someone's ever thought of, but he can only do one person at the time and it only works if he's touching them. Similar powers, but different in the ways they've manifested."

"But I couldn't always send without touching someone before. Maybe, with time and practice, I'd be able transmit to multiple people too. Maybe my powers will enhance further."

Jasper looked so human when he bit his lip like that. It made me wonder if it was a trait he'd brought over from his human days.

"I've been going over this in my mind while you were training. What if this new facet to your power has nothing to do with the imprinting or you maturing or anything like that? What if it isn't an enhancement at all? What if it was always something you could do, but we just didn't know it because you never had any reason to use it before? Growing up, you were always within reaching distance of at least one of us."

"But I visualize things in my head all the time, things nobody sees."

"With your hand directed at someone?"

That gave me so much pause I abruptly stopped walking. "No."

"Exactly," he said with a slow nod. "I think this is something you could always do, but we just didn't know until today, which means—"

"Which means I can only transmit to one person at a time and should just accept it."

He chuckled at my sardonic attitude. "Couldn't have said it better myself." He slung an arm over my shoulder and used it to urge me forward. "Come on. If we don't hurry, Emmett's gonna start _Batman_ without us."

I rolled my eyes again. "Oh yeah, I'd hate to miss ridiculously trite dialogue said by scrawny, unmuscled men running around playing superheroes in their underwear. You guys have weird tastes. Didn't you and Emmett watch it when it originally came out in the sixties?"

"No, my focus was more on not draining every human I came across at that point. Television programs were quite secondary to that, let me tell you."

"It's still a stupid thing to want to watch," I grumbled as we made it to the porch.

"Look at it this way," Jasper said. "That 'stupid show' has helped alleviate some of the tension caused by the impending threat of the Volturi, it's pretty funny stuff to watch if you don't take it seriously, and . . ."

He let his words lag, knowing I'd be too impelled by curiosity to be left hanging for long. I didn't disappoint him.

"And?" I prompted.

He winked. "And, remember how Emmett put the _Honk If You Think I'm_ _Sexy_ bumper sticker on your new car last Christmas and you told him you'd get him back for it? Well consider this as a guaranteed way to even the score."

"How?" I asked, still shuddering to remember how confused I'd been with everyone honking at me and how mortified I'd been when I'd finally figured out what he'd done.

"Well, thanks to this 'stupid' television show, the revenge gag gift possibilities are endless."

I laughed and hugged him. "You know, I think _you_ just became my favorite uncle."


	34. By All That's Holy

**Chapter Thirty-Four: By All That's Holy**

The Powers That Be granted a training reprieve for the week of Christmas. _(For me, it's already my favorite present._) This reprieve seemed to relax the growing amount of tension in the house. (Something we were all grateful for.)

In the days leading up to Christmas, the house was abuzz with vampires and other supernaturals dashing here and there like little elves bustling to get everything ready. Rosalie baked gingerbread men with assembly line efficiency, which Alice then iced to Ralph Lauren-esque suited glory. Throughout the house, Esme, Mom, and I decorated everything which stood still as well as a few things that didn't._ (That'll teach Jacob to fall asleep on the couch.) _

Next, Alice, Rosalie, and I lined the roof with twinkling lights. (Actually, Rosalie and me hung them, and Alice stayed on the ground irritatingly correcting our positioning.) But, it was all worth it. The old farmhouse aglow in the white lights was a stunning sight to behold at night.

While we were busy decorating, Dad, Carlisle, Nahuel, and Jacob went out in search of the perfect tree. They returned two hours later with a behemoth monstrosity which then had to be trimmed to within an inch of its life in order to fit through the door. (Nahuel thought bigger was better and, as this is his first real Christmas, the others didn't want to rain on his parade.)

Once the fir tree was set up, everyone took turns hanging shiny, glass balls; antique ornaments collected over the years (_I love the little wooden nutcracker Carlisle picked up in Bavaria in the 1853 best);_ candy canes; and a few truly ugly art projects I'd crafted when I was very young. I'd pleaded numerous times to toss these testaments to my lack of artistic skill out, but the family wouldn't hear of it. They seemed to think a lopsided reindeer made out of popsicle sticks and pipe cleaners—which is actually shaped more like a dog—somehow equals a Merry Christmas. On more than one occasion, I've "accidentally" thrown a few of the more horrific designs in the trash. _(_The purple Christmas stocking I made that looks more like a ghost on crack is a prime example of this.) But somehow, the humiliating artifacts of my past always ended up back on the tree each year, mocking me with their durability.

Dad played the piano from time to time, filling the house with classical versions of old-fashioned Christmas carols—for which Emmett and Jasper often made up their own humorous lyrics._ (They're take on "We Three Kings," which is entitled "My Butt Stings," is always a seasonal favorite of mine.)_

Unfortunately, Emmett ended up purchasing all of the seasons of _Batman_ online and popped them into the DVD player any chance he got. In spite of all of the show's corniness, Jasper, Jacob, Nahuel, and Emmett stayed glued to the television, strangely fascinated. Over time, they'd even started weaving ridiculous phrases using the word "holy" into even the most mundane of conversations. (_Holy blinking red light, Jake! Thanks for passing me the remote!_ and _Holy carbon copies, Emmett! Did you forget to fill up the paper tray in the printer?_ are just a few examples.) It was like an incurable flu strain striking various family members without warning. Esme and I—the last of the hold outs—half-heartedly cajoled them to cease this new game of theirs, but it only seemed to make those involved find new ways to torture us with the word "holy."

By the night of Christmas Eve, the problem had reached epidemic proportions. Carlisle came in the door from his shift and announced, "Holy Christmas lights, family, I'm finally home!"

(Esme and I groaned in dismay. Jake, Jasper, and Emmett gave Carlisle a series of high fives and welcomed him to what they were referring to as the "Batman club.")

After a quick holiday dinner of roasted chicken (for those of us who can eat human food, of course), the family piled into the living room in preparation for the night's festivities. Christmas carols (Esme insisted on traditional lyrics only for this) were sung with wild abandon, prayers were given (Carlisle's dad was a clergyman, after all), and the fashionable gingerbread men were consumed with tall glasses of milk. (By Jacob and Nahuel, at least. I was too full from dinner.)

By the time we were ready to open gifts, I was getting drowsy. This all changed the second Nahuel received his first present. It was from Carlisle and Esme. We all watched Nahuel turn the small package wrapped in ethereal blue paper over and over in his hands.

"You rip the paper to reveal what's inside," Carlisle said.

Nahuel, still seeming unsure, carefully dislodged the tape from each side until he could slip the paper off. However, he lost all interest in the wrap the second he noticed what he'd been given.

"Is this . . .?" he asked, unable to finish his sentence as he darted glances from Carlisle to the shiny, red object cradled in his palm.

"It's a cell phone," Carlisle explained. "This way, you can stay in contact with us when you return to your home. I've already programmed in all of our numbers."

Esme jumped in. "You can call anytime you like. We'd prefer you to visit, of course, but this will help for those times when you can't. If you want, Carlisle can show you how to use it later."

Nodding, Nahuel kept his gaze numbly on the phone. The room was quiet as we waited for his reaction. Finally, he gave a strangled cough, turned away, and muttered a quick "Thank you."

I wiped away a tear from my cheek, knowing my family now officially had a new member. From the way Nahuel refused to look anywhere but at the floor, I was sure he knew it too.

As hours passed, it seemed shock and awe were the themes of the night. Emmett stunned Rosalie with duplicate China to replace the pieces he'd accidentally broken a few months back (including a missing gravy boat she hadn't had originally). I stunned Jacob with tickets to an upcoming Eagles reunion tour during the summer. _(In addition to classic rock, he's a huge fan of Don Henley.)_ Carlisle and Esme were amazed by Mom and Dad's present to them, which was a large, framed charcoal recreation of their original wedding portrait. Alice was thrilled (but not actually surprised thanks to her seer ability) to unwrap a delicate, cut-crystal bottle which contained a one-of-a-kind perfume from France. Jasper'd had it especially designed for his mate and named it _Mon Immortelle Bien-Aimée_, which roughly translates as "My Immortal Beloved." (Yeah, all the females in my family sighed adoringly at that, too.)

And, lastly, Emmett was completely floored when I gifted him with thirteen pairs of _Batman_ underwear (adult-sized from a specialty online shop). However, I ended up being the one most surprised when he declared his intention to wear them, yelled, "Holy tighty whiteys, Batman!," and promptly pulled a pair on over his jeans. _(I took lots of pictures. So, we'll see who has the last laugh on that one.)_

The gifts kept coming until the living room looked like a paper-filled warzone. It seemed that the threat of the Volturi had encouraged everyone to pull out all the stops. Jasper, Dad, and Emmett were given the latest "cool" gaming system as well as hundreds of games to keep them competing digitally for years. Alice and Jasper bought Nahuel fifteen color-coordinated outfits so he wouldn't have to go around wearing hand-me-downs anymore. (Alice couldn't stand seeing him walking around in ill-fitting clothing for another day. She swore it gave her hives and proclaimed this gift a "serious fashion intervention".)

Dad got Mom a silver bracelet with exquisite ruby and emerald charms, which made her roll her eyes, and an original first edition leather bound copy of _Wuthering Heights_, which made her kiss him for an inordinate amount of time. I complained about their sappy love display until I opened a box from Jake containing a black onyx pendant dangling from a gold chain, which he explained had once belonged to his mother. Then, I was too busy displaying my own sappy love to care what my parents were doing.

While some had spared no expense in their presents, others hadn't spent a dime. Nahuel, who had refused to take any money from the family to purchase gifts, had spent the weeks preceding the holiday collecting wood in order to carve various items. He created a miniature, smiling sun for Carlisle, a small scale duplicate of the Nova for Jacob, a tiny pair of intertwined ballet shoes for Alice, and a proud lioness for Esme—to name a few. (When Esme accidentally said "Holy cow!" as she unwrapped her present, every male in my family gave her a high five and welcomed her to the Batman club. She tried to protest, but they only laughed and kept telling her it still counted.)

Mine and Mom's were the only gifts from Nahuel not made out of wood. For us, he carefully braided colored threads into beautiful bracelets. The bracelets were woven so that the colors in the threads would correspond with each other. Mom's was red and white trimmed in black while mine was black and red trimmed in white. I kissed Nahuel on the cheek in gratitude and frowned at Jake when he growled jealously in response.

Overall, it was a night of laughter, love, family, and endless joy. Yet even as my heart overflowed in warmth and happiness, I worried about the very real danger still hanging over our heads. _Will we even be alive to celebrate Christmas next year? Will I ever be able to send my strength to Jacob?_ But, before I could wallow in misery and foreboding too much, Jake took my hand and drew me outside under the guise of "looking at the Christmas lights." Since I figured he wanted to make out on the porch, I was completely agreeable with this.

I was a little surprised when nobody protested our leaving, but I was so happy to finally be alone with my boyfriend on Christmas Eve that I didn't dwell on it too much.

Looking back, I should have.

I didn't find anything odd as Jacob led me off the porch and out into the yard. It was only when we headed over to the stairs leading to his apartment that I realized he had a more private make-out session in mind for us.

"What about the lights we're supposed to be looking at?" I asked, bemused but willing.

"There's something I want to show you up here," he answered, keeping my hand in his as he tugged me up the stairs.

"You have something to 'show' me?" I arched an eyebrow.

He stopped in front of the door. "Yep."

I shook my head in mock dismay. "You're a rotten liar, Jacob Black," I murmured, wrapping my arms around his neck to deliver a kiss. "Admit it. This is a blatant attempt to seduce me."

He grinned and leveled me with an intensely heated look. "Darlin', if seduction was the plan, you'd be in my bed already."

I all but melted into a pool of goo right in front of him. I was having a hard time remembering a single reason why it was we weren't going to sleep together yet when Jake opened the door to his apartment. That's when I saw it. (Believe me, no one would have been able to miss it.)

A box, roughly the size of an old-fashioned television set, wrapped in shiny silver paper was sitting in the middle of the living room, a large red bow perched on top.

I turned to Jake, my hand covering the onyx pendant currently around my neck. "But we already exchanged presents—"

"This is a little something else I wanted to give you—privately."

"'Little something?'" I repeated. "What is it? A car? The box is certainly big enough."

He laughed and nudged me. "Go unwrap it and see."

I walked forward and immediately tore at the paper. After I'd pulled back the top flap of the box and peered inside, I found a slightly smaller box. This one was wrapped in blue paper and had a silver bow.

I looked over my shoulder at Jacob, who was still standing by the now closed door.

"Is this some kind of gag gift?" I asked, narrowing my eyes at him in suspicion.

His grin never faltered. "Keep going. Only one way to find out."

I sighed, and dug into the second present. Once I'd unwrapped this one, I hauled out a box the size of a little microwave, which was covered in gold paper and decorated with a blue bow. It weighed almost nothing. I shook it slightly and heard a tell-tale rattling which promised yet another box inside this one.

"I'm seeing a pattern here, Jacob," I warned. "You saw what I got Emmett tonight. You could be next. You_ sure_ you want to go through with this?"

He laughed. "I'll take my chances. Keep opening."

The red box inside of this one was about half the size of the last and topped with a gold bow. I didn't bother to look at Jake before I tore into this new present. "How long did this take you? You must have been wrapping for hours."

"Alice and Bella helped me," he replied.

Finally after some furious ripping, I held a flat, unwrapped white box in my hand. Curious and impatient to see what could be worth all of this effort, I slid off the top. Inside was a note that contained only two words.

_Turn around._

Without thought, I turned. The second I saw Jacob, I knew what was going on. My body froze. _Huh?_ _No, he can't be_— My mind numbed in shock.

Jacob was kneeling in front of me holding up a striking gold ring with an onyx stone bookended by two little diamonds.

"I love you, Renesmee Carlie Cullen. I want to build a life with you. I want everyone to see how much you belong with me. I want to watch you fall asleep in my arms every night and see your belly rounded with my children. And, I promise, our lives will be as perfect as I can make them for you. You won't have to worry about a thing. I'll tear down every obstacle in our path. Nothing and no one will ever hurt you as long as I live. Just tell me you'll be mine forever."

He took a deep breath, his face a wreath of smiles. "Nessie, will you marry me?"

I knew that particular question was coming just as much as I knew I'd need to answer, but my brain was unable to function, like it was a car stuck in neutral. Every word he said filtered through to me, but I couldn't respond. I couldn't feel. I couldn't move. I could barely breathe.

"Nessie?"

It was a while before my brain finally came back to me. When it did, a myriad of thoughts and feelings hit me all at once, but not a single one I could artfully express. There was just too much. Through our connection, I was bombarded with Jake's happiness, how hopeful and determined he was in this.

"Well?" he prompted, looking up at me from his kneeling position. "Say something, darlin'."

The irony was that I could only think of one thing to appropriately convey my feelings at a time like this.

"Holy crap."


	35. Don't Ask

**Chapter Thirty-Five: Don't Ask**

_Nessie, will you marry me?_

Never in my life had I felt more overwhelmed. The day I found out about the imprinting wasn't even this bad. My brain was a jumbled mess of thoughts and questions I couldn't begin to process.

_No, don't ask me this._ _I'm not ready. We're not ready. Not yet. Not now. Not like this. Why is he doing it now? The Volturi, high school, my parents—I want to—I can't—I love him, but I—Oh my God, how am I supposed to handle this?_

I wasn't sure how much time had passed from him proposing to now. I also wasn't sure what my answer would be. I wanted to throw myself into his arms, kiss him, and yell, "Of course I'll marry you!" I wanted the rosy future he'd painted. I wanted to hand over all my concerns to him and not think about them again. I wanted things to be that easy. I wanted to be the kind of girl who let things be that easy.

For many minutes, I tried to force myself to be that girl. _With as much as he's done for me, I can do this for him,_ I mentally chanted. But, it was like trying to squeeze a square peg into a round hole. It simply wouldn't go. I could only be me, and I couldn't lie to myself. I loved Jacob. I wanted to be with him, but, marrying him—like this—with all we had hanging over our heads right now, it was wrong. I couldn't deny that any longer.

My eyes finally drifted down to meet his. Jacob hadn't risen from his kneeling position. The expression on his face was unreadable. I probed our bond. His emotions were a hurricane-force torrent of love, fear, determination, joy, and desperation blowing so heavily from him that, at times, I wasn't sure if they were his feelings or my own. All I knew for sure was that I didn't want to disappoint him and I didn't want to hurt him. Refusing him would do both.

But, by that same token, agreeing to his proposal would be a lie.

I was in a no-win situation. I could lie to Jacob, tell him I was fine with getting married now, and try to swallow every worry, issue, and problem in hopes that they might go away. (I was pretty sure they wouldn't.) Or, I could tell him the truth and risk destroying everything we've worked so hard to build together.I hated myself. I hated how much I'd already put him through, how many times I'd already refused him, how much my soul needed me to forge my own path instead of meekly following someone else's.

I inhaled a ragged breath as a lone tear slid down my cheek. My extended silence—as well as the fact that he had to have been able to pick up on most of what I was feeling—had Jake getting to his feet. A flash of his frustration and anger spiked through me. He looked down at the ring in his hands and then back to me, waiting.

_ He knows, _I thought._ He knows, but he's going to make me say it_.

"I can't marry you, Jacob. Not now."

"Why?" The word came out like an accusation.

I instinctively recoiled. "You know why."

"Do I?" he countered, stepping so close that he seemed to tower over me.

I didn't back down, but tried to keep my tone reasonable and calm. "We've only been together for a few months. Don't you think it's a little soon for this?"

"You love me, and I love you. Why wait?"

"Jake—"

"You love me." His voice was gruff and unyielding, as if daring me to dispute him.

"Yes, I do," I quickly agreed, backing up to put a little space between us. "Why isn't that enough for you?"

"Because you're mine."

That's all he said, as though it explained everything. My own anger rose in response. "No one is debating that. You have my love as well as the imprinting. I'm not going anywhere, Jacob. Why do we have to get engaged _tonight_? I'm still in high school. I'm still growing up—"

"You can't have it both ways, Nessie. You can't demand to be treated like an adult one minute and then hide behind childhood the next."

"I wasn't doing that."

One black eyebrow arched at me. "Weren't you? Your feelings say otherwise."

_(Damn imprinting!)_ I flushed. "You're right. I can't be a child anymore."

He eyed me carefully, waiting to see what I would say next.

"But, it doesn't change that I'm still young and in high school or that we've only been together a little while. Those are all solid reasons for us to wait."

"Those reasons apply to humans, Nessie. You and I don't fit that mold."

"No. We're immortals, which means we have all the time in the world. So, what's the hurry?"

"Being immortal doesn't make us indestructible. We _can_ die," he said, his expression seeming so desperate. He took my left hand in his, studying it as though my palm held the lost secrets of the world or something. Slowly, he turned it over, his thumb tracing lightly over my naked ring finger. His eyes shot up to lock with mine. "The truth is we don't know how much time we have. Why waste a moment?"

This anxious, almost frantic edge to him confused me. There was something more going on here than just an offer of marriage. The words he'd used earlier filtered back through my brain.

_You won't have to worry about a thing. I'll tear down every obstacle in our path. Nothing and no one will ever hurt you as long as I live. _

When he'd first said this to me, I'd been too overcome by the fact that he was proposing to truly process the words he'd used. Now, I understood everything.

"This out-of-nowhere proposal? It's because of the Volturi, isn't it? You're scared they'll come here and kill us all. That's why you're rushing this."

Jacob dropped my hand and moved back. That was all the answer I needed.

"That's not why," he said.

I rolled my eyes. "The imprinting lie detector works both ways, Jacob."

"I would have proposed anyway."

I was like a bloodhound on the trail of a scent. "But not _now_, right? Admit it. You would have waited until the time was right for both of us. After I graduated, most likely after I started college. We would have talked about it, reached that point together. A month ago, you weren't in any more hurry to do this than I am tonight. The only thing difference is that the Volturi are after us and you're worried that all the preparations we're doing won't be enough to stop them."

He shook his head. "The timing is irrelevant. I'd have proposed anyway. That's all that's important."

_Great! I had to go fall in love with someone as equally hardheaded as I am. _"Life is coming at me so fast. Between growing up, finishing high school, college, the imprinting, falling in love with you, these new powers we have, training, and the Volturi, I am drowning in major life decisions right now. Can't this be the one part we take slow and easy?" I moved forward to cup and stroke his jaw. "Please, Jake. I don't want to get married because the Volturi are coming. I want to marry you because it's what feels right for both of us."

His jaw tightened under my hand. "Everything can't always be on your timetable. Life doesn't work that way," he said.

"We're in this together. This decision should be something we both want. And, honestly, _I don't want this_. Not now, and not with the Volturi hanging over our heads."

The blow my answer gave him was like a punch in the gut. I felt it hit him. My mind raced for something to say to ease this pain I'd delivered, to take it away. "Jake, I—"

"Get out, Nessie," he murmured, so whisper soft I was sure I'd misheard him.

"What?"

His eyes were flat and empty. "I said get out. Go back to the house."

My hand fell away from him as I stepped back. "But, Jake, if you'll just listen to me, I can—"

"I asked you a question. You gave me your answer. There's nothing else to talk about tonight."

"Don't be like this. We can work it out."

Before I knew it, he was gripping my shoulders in his arms. "I told you to leave. You want to talk about this? Well, _I don't_. Not tonight. I've heard all I can stand. Now, take your ass back in the house or I'll take you there myself."

I opened my mouth to argue with him, but he didn't give me a chance to get out a word. Instead, he muttered something that sounded like "stubborn," scooped me up in his arms, and headed out the door. I didn't even bother to struggle against him as he carried me down the stairs and across the yard. (The irony of being toted bridal-style by Jacob the same night I'd refused his marriage proposal was not lost on me.)

I was awash in emotion, his feelings and mine. I'd never experienced him this hurt or this furious. I was mad as well, but most of that anger was directed at myself. There were so many reasons I was right in refusing him, but it changed nothing. I hated the Volturi so much in that moment. Why couldn't they leave us alone? Why couldn't I be a normal girl and have a normal life? Why did everything have to happen so fast? How was I supposed to adapt in a life that was always changing so radically?

So many difficult questions and I had no easy answers. Instead, I had a large dose of self-loathing and an enraged, emotionally-wounded boyfriend.

He put me down in front of the door just as Alice opened it. Mutely, he turned away and took off into the darkness of the night. I heard the faint tearing of clothes which indicated he'd changed into wolf form. I was too numb to do anything but move toward the door.

"What's Jacob doing?" Alice asked. "Is he leaving? It's too dangerous for him to be out there alone. Jasper! Emmett! Carlisle!"

Unable to answer any of my aunt's questions, I moved around her to go inside. At Alice's alarm, various family members dashed to the front door as I walked around them in a daze.

"Jacob went all werewolf and took off into the woods alone," I heard Alice explain.

I began to climb the stairs, wanting nothing more than to collapse in my bed and stay there forever. Tears were already pouring down my cheeks, and I didn't even try to stop them. I'd hurt Jacob too much tonight. _Would he ever be able to forgive me? Would I ever be able to forgive myself? How would we ever be able to fix this?_

"Leave him be," I heard my father order. "Jacob isn't going far. He just needs to work some things out in his head. I'll know if he runs into trouble."

_Of course Dad knows_, I considered as I reached the top of the stairs. The only thing I wasn't sure of was whether Jake had told them all his plans in advance or if Dad had simply read his mind. At this point, nothing could surprise me.

"Nessie?" Mom asked, zipping up the staircase after me. "What happened? Did you turn him down? Why?"

I made it to my door before I pivoted around to face her. "Did everyone know he was going to propose but me?" I wasn't sure why that mattered right now, but I still wanted to know.

"Not everyone," she answered. "Only me and your dad. Jake asked our permission."

I nodded, and turned back to open my door, unable to look at her face. Yet more people I'd disappointed tonight. I couldn't handle any more. I just needed to be alone.

"Nessie," Mom pressed, "what happened?"

"Don't ask," I said, not bothering to look back as I slammed the door behind me.

—**D—**

Even on my best days, power sharing training is bad enough. Power sharing training with an angry boyfriend you're imprinted on (and whose proposal you've rejected) while using powers through said imprinting is pure agony.

"Again, Nessie!" My father yelled. (Dad and Nahuel were helping with training today as Emmett, Jasper, and Alice had gone off hunting.)

I pulled myself to my feet and went right into sending again. I kept my gaze focused on Jacob's. (Keeping my eyes closed didn't work anyway. Besides, this was one of the few times I had Jacob's undivided attention and I wasn't wasting it.) As always, my strength only went so far before refusing to go further. I was beginning to think it was a stubborn as I was. I continued to force it until my energy simply conked out and I collapsed onto the ground.

I didn't bother to get up this time. Instead, I lay on my back in the snow, my breaths coming out in heaving gasps. In addition to the training, the past three weeks had been an exercise in torture. Unless it had to do with the Mega Plan or training, Jacob had very little to do with me. He still hung out with the family, but kept his distance whenever I was around. I probed our bond occasionally, hoping to feel something that would tell me these barriers he'd erected were starting to crumble, but all I ever felt was his anger at my rejection.

I'd tried numerous times to speak to him, but he would always find a way to disappear before I could get a word out. I wanted him to scream at me, call me names, anything but this quiet, simmering fury he seemed to hold like a shield in front of him.

The imprinting didn't help. I understood now why we'd made up so quickly during our last fight. The imprinting didn't like us at odds with each other. It did everything in its power to push us together. My thoughts constantly ran to Jacob, like I was a drug addict in need of a fix and he was my drug of choice. My eyes followed him. My dreams were filled with his smiling face kissing me, loving me, holding me. My body ached for the slightest touch of his skin against mine. At times, I was so overcome with the need to be with him that I wanted to agree to Jake's proposal simply so I could ease this relentless, perpetual yearning.

But, I couldn't. No matter how much this anger from Jake was cutting at me, I wasn't wrong in refusing him. I wanted to be, but I wasn't. Even now, that was the only thing I did feel good about.

I often wondered if he was feeling the same yearning I was, if this distance he'd put between us was as excruciating for him to maintain as it was for me to be subjected to. But, he never showed the smallest weakening towards me. He rarely looked in my direction and said very little to me unless circumstance forced him to.

Seeing us so broken hearted wasn't easy on my family. Besides the night of Christmas Eve, Mom and the rest hadn't questioned me about what had gone on between me and Jacob. The rule of couples was still in effect. I could tell how much it was especially bothering my parents not to interfere. But, how could they fix this? Jake wanted to get married and I didn't. There's no middle ground there. So, instead of concentrating on things I couldn't change, I concentrated on things I could. The top of this list was working out the issues I was experiencing in sending my strength to Jacob.

And, as today was evidenced, I still sucked in that department.

"Nessie, are you all right?" My father stood over me.

I squinted up at him as the sun glittered off his skin. (Secretly, I'd been hoping Jacob would run over to check on me.) "I'm fine. Just let me rest a minute and I'll try again."

"We're going to call it a day. Jake has some work he wants to complete at the paint and body shop tonight."

I was on my feet in a second, watching Jake and Nahuel walk together in the direction of the house. My heart ached to see Jacob leave. I was sure whatever it was at the shop could have waited until morning. This was just an excuse to get away from me. I stared after his departing back for the longest time, willing him to turn around.

He didn't. Nahuel did, though. But, after regarding me with a strange, assessing look for a few minutes, he mutely pivoted and continued to head towards the house. _(As much as I like Nahuel, there is still a lot about him I don't fully understand.)_

Dad wrapped his arm around my waist. I wanted to let myself lean against his shoulder, but made myself push away. "I'm fine," I lied. "I've got to finish writing my speech for next week anyway. This will be a good time for me to do that. Besides, Derek and Emma want to practice our speeches together. I should go call them so we can decide on a time for us to meet up." I didn't give him a chance to respond to my rambling as I turned toward the house.

"Nessie, I know I shouldn't say anything, but . . ." His voice trailed off.

I stopped in my tracks. _Jacob._ I knew whatever he had to tell me was about Jacob. I turned around. Maybe if I had a little insight into what he was thinking, I'd know how to help us get past this. _(At this point, I'd take anything.)_ I pivoted and advanced on him.

"Tell me, Dad. Just say whatever it is."

"Give Jacob some time. He'll come around."

"Will he?" I asked, hating the tear escaping down my cheek. "It's been three weeks of the silent treatment. What if he never gets over this? What if I was wrong in asking him to wait?"

He took me by the shoulders. "You followed your heart. Does it feel wrong in your heart?"

I shook my head. "It wasn't the right time. I love him, but it wasn't the right time."

He hugged me. "Jacob knows that. But, his pride's been hurt. It's going take him a little time to recover and accept things as they are. He's always had a hard time adjusting to not getting something he's had his heart set on. The Volturi threat isn't helping. He's worried about you. We all are."

"I know. I'm trying to do the strength sending, but it's—"

"Would you consider sitting out when the Volturi finally come? That'll take some of the apprehension off of him."

I stared up at Dad as if he'd lost his mind. "Are you kidding?" My family was not going to be facing the Volturi on my behalf while I stayed hidden away. If fighting was going to happen anyway, I was going to be in the thick of it right alongside everyone else.

His lopsided grin told me he hadn't expected a simple complicity in this. "As I thought," he said. "You are just as determined as your mother always is."

I nodded, and we headed back towards the house, arm in arm.

We'd been walking a little while before he casually remarked, "Bella likes to blame me for your will of iron, but it all comes from her. You know, she turned me down the first time I proposed, too."

"Really?" This wasn't something I'd heard before.

"Oh yes. It took a lot of convincing and negotiating to even get her to consider it."

I smiled, thinking I was more like my father than even he would admit. "But you were _determined_ she was going marry you?" I asked.

"Absolutely." His grin widened as he got the point I was trying to make. "Do me a favor?" he said with a laugh. "Let's not tell your mother we just proved her right, OK?"

"Sure, Dad," I agreed, laughing with him. It felt good to laugh again.

This little talk didn't fix things between me and Jacob, but it did at least give me hope that we could move past this. And, that was enough for me to hang on to for the moment.


	36. Manipulations

**Chapter Thirty-Six: Manipulations**

"Picture me naked."

"No!"

"It'll help."

"Yeah," I retorted, "help me die of embarrassment."

Derek snickered. "I always picture my audience naked when giving speeches."

Emma, who was sitting next to Derek at his parent's dining room table, smacked him on the arm. "That's perverted. I thought the rule was you're supposed to imagine people in their underwear."

Derek gave an all-male grin. "Our class is mostly female. I'm adapting to my audience. That's what you told me to do, remember?"

Emma frowned and popped him again. He smirked unapologetically. I rolled my eyes at their shenanigans. When Derek had introduced the idea of having this joint speech prepping session at his house, I'd agreed for reasons beyond sharpening my nonexistent skills at public speaking. I'd been watching these two lovebirds circle around their feelings for weeks. It was obviously each liked the other, but neither would dare admit it. Instead, Emma pretended to find fault with everything Derek did to have a reason to keep his attention (because every other girl he came into contact with—except me—gushed and flirted like brainless idiots in his presence) and Derek pretended to do and say things he knew would offend Emma (because then she'd argue with him).

(Current example: Proclaiming that you picture your audience naked when making speeches.)

Agreeing to the study session was my way of dealing with this problem. I knew it would take the right kind of nudge to get them together. I just hadn't decided what the kind of nudge it should be.

"Someone else go first. I'm horrible at this," I groaned, moving from where I'd been standing at the front of the table to take a seat across from them. I'd already arranged it so they were sitting next to each other. _(Note to self: Consider becoming a full-time matchmaker. This is fun! Positive side effect: It's a great way to keep my mind off of my own romantic issues.)_

"Nessie, you're never going to overcome your fear of public speaking with that attitude," Emma admonished.

"I'm never going to overcome it, period. There are certain things some people can't do. Public speaking is my certain thing." I placed a hand solemnly across my heart. "I've made my peace with it."

Derek shook his head at my sarcasm. "What about the speech due next week? Flunking Public Speaking could cost you the valedictorian spot you've had locked for two years."

It was my turn to shrug. "Since that means I'd have to give a speech at graduation anyway, I'm okay with losing the position. Heidi Tindall's been a two points behind me for the last year. Let her have it."

"Heidi's a weird math nerd with a cat obsession. No doubt, she'll spend half an hour going through all the ways Mr. Whiskers has taught her the meaning of life or some other such nonsense. We graduates deserve better." Derek pointed to the end of the table. "Get up there and try again. Valedictorian or not, you're going to have to do this speech in six days. Practicing is better than doing nothing."

I sighed and followed orders, knowing his was right. I got into place and looked down at my notecards. Logically, this speech should have been easy compared to the others. After all, a process speech by definition merely meant the speaker had to take his audience through the process of how to do something. Mr. Gordy had given us the freedom of choosing any topic we wanted. He'd advised selecting a hobby or task at which we excelled. Unfortunately, I excel at things like running faster than most cars, draining an animal without spilling any blood on my shirt, and projecting visualizations at people through my fingertips. None were the kind of topics appropriate for my speech. (Although, you've got to admit the draining one would have been interesting: "Bracing the animal's writhing body tightly within your hands, seal your lips over the wound and let the pulse fill your mouth with blood much like you would when you tip back a can of cola. The warm flow of blood will coat your throat naturally, easing the persistent, burning thirst of any hungry vampire—if only for a little while.") _Yeah, that certainly isn't going to work, _I reckoned with a wry grin.

"What's so funny?" Derek asked.

"Nothing. Did you finally settle on a topic?"

"Yeah," he said with a grin of his own, "I've decided to give a speech on how to give speeches. Since you and Emma have proclaimed me some kind of professional on the subject, I figured it was only natural. Besides, the irony of it all appeals to me."

I chuckled at him. "How about you, Emma?"

"I played it safe and simple. I'm going to talk about how to make a three layer chocolate almond creme cake topped with decorative chocolate curls."

"_That_ is simple?" I said.

"I suggest trying out the recipe first to make sure you have all the steps in the correct order. I'll be your taste tester. Please?" Derek begged, taking Emma's hand in his and holding it dramatically up to his chest. "Pretty please?"

I thought Emma was going to faint from this kind of attention. And, just as I was wondering how Derek was so ignorant of the effect he was having the girl in front of him, he stilled. Without another word, he dropped Emma's hand like it had been burning him. Emma looked away, seeming mortified by his abrupt actions. Derek got to his feet, mumbling something about needing to take the trash out before his mother got angry.

"I'll be right back," he said, all but running from the room.

The second he was gone, Emma slumped forward, catching her head in her hands. "Stupid. So stupid," she murmured, so low I knew she was talking to herself.

"Just tell him how you feel."

Her head popped up. "That's easy for you to say. You're beautiful and already have a boyfriend. I bet these kinds of things are never hard for you."

_If only she knew how wrong she was._ I sighed and took the chair next to her. "Love isn't easy for anyone, regardless of looks. But it isn't as hard as you're making it out to be either. Derek likes you, Emma. Can't you see that?"

"He can have any girl in school. Why would he ever pick me? The only thing boys want me for is as a tutor. Case in point: Ryan Schmidt came up to me yesterday and asked me to tutor him in U.S. History. Even offered to pay me ten dollars an hour. We start next week. I suppose I should be thrilled." Her face fell into her hands again in defeat.

I reached out to pat her shoulder. "Derek isn't like that. He likes you. Look at what just happened!"

"Yeah, he dropped my hand and ran away. He can't even stand to touch me!"

I didn't have a chance to explain how wrong she was because my sensitive ears picked up the sounds of Derek returning. I got up and went over to my original position at the end of the table. "He's coming back," I whispered to her.

She straightened in her chair, plastering on a fake smile. I could tell how difficult this whole thing was for her, and my heart ached in response. I had to get this fixed—and soon.

"Sorry about that," Derek said, entering the room.

He took a seat on the other side of the table across from Emma. I inwardly groaned, knowing this was not going to help convince her that he liked her. Once seated, Derek stared at the table in front of him as though the woodgrain patterns were on some kind of midterm he was going to have to take later. Emma's happy expression had fallen apart the second he moved away from her. Tears threatened to spill from her at any moment.

_That's it_, I finally told myself. Time for truth, whether they like it or not.

"I think—" I began, only to be interrupted by Emma, who excused herself under the guise of visiting the bathroom. She'd barely made it down the hallway and shut the restroom door behind her before my heightened hearing picked up her soft sobs. I turned on Derek.

"Are you blind or stupid?" I asked.

He stared up at me in surprise. "Huh?"

"Emma likes you. You like her. Why not ask her out?"

"Emma and I are _friends._ That's all. I'm not sure where you got your ideas from, but you're wrong. We're just friends."

I snorted. "OK, so you're blind as well as stupid. I've watched you two argue, laugh, and pretty much flirt your way through the last month or so. What did you think was going on?"

His eyes grew wary. "Is that what Emma thinks?"

"Emma likes you."

"Is that something _she_ actually said to you?"

I floundered for a bit, unsure how to proceed. I didn't want to break any confidences here. "I know what I've seen with my own eyes."

His slouched back against his chair. "You're misreading things. We're friends. That's all."

All the things Emma had been saying replayed in my mind. "Because you're popular and she isn't?" I didn't want to believe he could be that superficial, but I had to know.

He glared. "That has nothing to do with it! She's too smart to fall for someone like me. I'm just a dumb jock who happens to be popular. Emma's going to Stanford next year. It's all she ever talks about. I couldn't get in that school even if I wanted to."

_These two are their own worst enemies_, I thought in dismay. I could point out, again and again, how much they liked each other, but they were set on reasoning the truth away. _OK, if the truth won't work, how about a little deception_?

"Well, if that is the case, then I'm sorry for misreading things, Derek."

He nodded miserably, tracing the woodgrain patterns on the table idly with his finger.

I hid my smile. "You guys being friends at least explains the whole Ryan Schmidt thing."

"Ryan Schmidt, the linebacker?" he asked, looking up. "What about him?"

"He asked Emma out. I thought she only agreed because you hadn't asked her out yet. I didn't want you to miss your chance. But, since you and Emma are only friends and all, I guess it doesn't really matter, does it?"

"She's going out with him?"

I nodded. "Next week."

His hands clenched into fists on the table. (Clapping my hands in glee right now would be a mistake, but I wanted to so badly. This was going better than I'd hoped.)

Emma came back before Derek could respond to what I'd said. I noticed the redness around her eyes, but didn't bring it up. She watched Derek, who was staring at his clenched fists. He was too lost in a world of his own, seeming to mentally go over everything I'd told him. Since nobody was paying the least bit of attention to me, I went through my speech. (Of course, this was one of the few times I actually did well. I wonder if I could get Mr. Gordy to clear the room before I made my speech? Probably not, but it's the only way I'm going to pull an "A" in that class this year.)

Emma and Derek didn't say much during the rest of our time together. They each practiced their speeches and made me go through mine twice more, offering occasional pointers. (The second and third times I went through the speech were decidedly worse than my first attempt.) All conversation between them was brief and clipped. Emma was despondent, but Derek appeared angry. I hoped this meant the seed I'd planted inside him would germinate into some jealousy and a little action. That was the only thing I could think of to save these two at this point.

An hour later, our party broke up and I returned home. (Carlisle and Esme had been waiting outside for me the whole time. _Damn Volturi keep cramping my life!_) I concentrated mostly on finishing up my homework. No training was planned today so I had decided to spend the bulk of the evening in my room. Not only would I get to practice my speech some more, but I could also avoid Jacob's avoidance of me. I'd had about all of that I could stand. (Talking to someone did no good when they wouldn't listen to you.)

"Nessie?"

I looked up to see Dad in the doorway. "Yeah?"

"Your Aunt Rosalie has made dinner. Do us a favor and go tell Jake it's ready?"

I groaned and closed my eyes, knowing a set-up when I heard one. "Dad, you know he doesn't want to talk to me. Why don't you just do it?"

When I got no response, I opened my eyes to find an empty doorway staring back at me. _Huh?_ I got up and went downstairs in search of him. If Dad thought that kind of obvious ploy was going to work on me, he needed to think again. Not so mysteriously, nobody was down there. I went into the dining room, which was full of a table set with plates, silverware, and glasses, but empty of people.

"Hello? Where is everyone? Dad? Aunt Rosalie?"

Rosalie popped her head out of the kitchen door. "Dinner's almost ready. Your dad went to get Nahuel from out by the greenhouse. Can you get Jacob?"

She disappeared before I could argue. _Where is everyone else?_ I knew Carlisle, Esme, and Emmett had gone hunting, but that didn't explain where Alice, Jasper, and my mother were. I listened, but could hear nothing. I bet they're all hiding in the kitchen waiting for me to go see Jacob. _It would serve them all right if I stormed in there and refused to go. I should tell Papa Carlisle on all of them for interfering where they're not supposed to._ But, even as I thought all that, I went outside. If I was being honest with myself, I was desperate to see Jacob, to talk to him, even if all I got out of him was a few monosyllable answers to my questions. I missed him so much, and I hadn't had my fix today.

I'd made it to the bottom of the staircase leading up the apartment when I heard my mother's voice. "Ignoring Renesmee is not the way to get what you want, Jake."

"I don't remember begging for your advice. Isn't there a rule that says you're supposed to stay out of this kind of thing?"

I heard a dismissive huff. "It doesn't apply to mothers."

Snow crunching under feet alerted me to the fact that my father and Nahuel were returning to the house. I rushed into the garage where I could eavesdrop in peace. Although, it did occur to me that my father must have known Mom was out here and, therefore, had manipulated things so I'd have no choice but to eavesdrop. (At least I now know where I get the manipulative gene from.) Actually, the more I thought it over, the more I considered that Mom being upstairs was all part of the bigger manipulation going on here. I could see the plan now. Bella goes to Jake under the guise of giving him advice. Edward, meanwhile, sends Nessie outside to "get Jacob for dinner." Nessie overhears talk between Jake and Bella, bursts inside, and, before you know it, the imprinted couple are back together. The worst part was, even though I realized I was being played, I was allowing myself to be a willing pawn in this. (My parents are the master manipulators. Obviously, I had a lot to learn from them. But, however else I might be going along with this, I wasn't bursting in on anyone. That was too cheesy.)

"—not doing this, Bella. You want to go talk to someone about this, go talk to your daughter. I've said all I'm going to—to her."

"Look, Jake, you know I love you dearly, but I have to tell you something."

"What?"

"You're being a butthead."

He snorted. "Is that supposed to clear things up for me?"

"No, but Renesmee's tried to talk to you, and you refuse to hear her out. You need to at least be willing to listen. You love her, don't you?"

"Do I _love_ her? Love is just the tip of the iceberg, Bella. I love her, but I also I ache for her, I burn for her, I live for her, I breathe for her. Not just when she around, but constantly. As much as you love Edward, you can't even begin to understand the depth of my love for Nessie. The imprinting only makes it worse because it amplifies my feelings for her, makes being without her seem like someone's slowly skinning me alive."

(OK. I'll admit it. I wanted to do a little bursting in after this. Who wouldn't? But, I'm proud to announce that I managed to restrain myself.)

Mom's voice grew a little louder. "Then, why are you so set on punishing her?"

"I assure you, these last three weeks have been more a punishment for me than they could ever be for her. You think any of this has been easy for me? You're wrong. From the beginning, I've had to sit back and watch her struggle to reconcile the imprinting with her feelings for me, not sure if she would ever return my love. You don't know how often I've wanted to find some way to end this imprinting, if only just so she could see how much she loves me all on her own. You think I don't know that she'll always wonder in the back of her mind whether she really loves me or if it's all because of the imprinting?

Her refusing my proposal more than proved that point for me. How am I supposed to take that? I want to be with her, and she just keeps pushing me away. The Volutri are coming to wipe us from the face of the earth and she keeps me at arm's length. What if time runs out for us? What then? Will she ever understand how much I love her? Will she ever love me as much?"

"She does love you. She just needs some time. Can't you give her that?"

"I'm not talking about this with you anymore. Some things are just between me and Nessie. This is one of those things. You're my best friend, Bella, and you're her mother, but you can't be in the middle of this. You can't fix it. We have to fix it for ourselves."

"How can you do that if you won't even talk to her?"

"If I agree to talk to her, will that get you to drop this?"

"Yes."

I heard the door to the apartment open and leaned heavily against the wall of the garage so I wouldn't be seen. Both of them were coming down the steps, Mom asking Jake about work and Jake explaining about some Corvette he was restoring. His voice quieted suddenly.

"I've got to get something from the garage, Bella. I'll be in soon."

"All right," Mom replied. "I'll see you inside."

_Oh crap!_ I jolted when I heard Jake coming my way. I blurred over to hide behind his large, free-standing toolbox, hoping he'd be in and out so quickly he wouldn't notice me. He stepped inside the garage and then I heard nothing else. The silence in the room became deafening. _What was he doing?_ I didn't dare peek around the toolbox to see. A few more quiet minutes went by, me unsure what to do.

"How long are we going to pretend you aren't there, Nessie?"

The shock of his statement rattled me so that I accidentally bumped into the toolbox and sent the two wrenches on top of it sprawling to the floor, the clamor of spilling tools ringing in my ears. I peered around the toolbox to find Jake standing by the edge of the garage, his hands on his hips as he stared at me.

"Eavesdropping? Really? I would have thought you better than that."

"How did you know I was here?"

"The imprinting, remember? I always know where you are."

I chided myself for not recalling that little detail as I moved from out of my hiding place. I picked up the wrenches and put them back on top of the toolbox. "So, you're going to hear me out?"

He frowned. "Not if it means I have to listen to you go through all the reasons we shouldn't get married right now. I don't want to hear you refuse me again."

"So where does that leave us?"

"In Hell, I guess," Jake said with a long, haggard sigh. "I've missed you, darlin'."

"I've missed you, too," I said, zipping over to his side. "The imprinting doesn't help matters. I can't stop dreaming about you."

A grin slowly touched his mouth. "What kind of dreams?"

I rolled my eyes. _(He's such a guy sometimes.)_ "Nevermind. What are we going to do about us? I don't want to fight anymore."

"Me either, but I can't see a compromise on this. I want to get married and you don't."

"I don't want to get married just because the Volturi are breathing down our necks. I don't—"

He placed two fingers over my mouth to stop me. "This is where we get into trouble. No going over reasons, remember?"

I nodded.

He replaced his fingers with his lips, delivering a slow, methodical kiss that had me yearning for more. When he broke it off, I was putty in his hands, and he knew it. He smiled down at me. "I don't suppose you'd agree to a long engagement?"

_OK, I wasn't complete putty. _"You know the second we utter the word 'engagement,' Aunt Alice will go into planning overdrive and have us married within a month."

He slipped his arms around me. "I was hoping you wouldn't think of that."

"How about we start over?"

"How so?"

"Well, we kind of stopped dating after Nahuel came along. How about we start that up again? I've missed spending time with you that didn't have something to do with training or the Volturi. We could work on our relationship and maybe revisit the whole marriage idea at a later date. Would that work?"

He leaned down, nuzzling his way up my neck. "You just want to date?" he murmured huskily against my ear. "That's _all_ you want?"

I moaned, closing my eyes against his seductive ministrations. I wasn't blind to the fact that he was still trying to persuade me to his way of thinking. I also wasn't falling for it—at least not for the most part. I backed out of his arms to stare up at him. "I love you, Jake. I love you the same way you love me. I know you don't believe that, but it's true. The burning, the aching you spoke of with Mom? I feel all of that too. I'm with you in this. You aren't alone. If you need physical proof of how much I love you and want to be with you, we can go upstairs this second. I'm not ready to get married right now, but I am ready for . . . other things. Just say the word and I'll prove it to you."

His jaw fell open. I don't know who was more surprised by my blunt statement, me or him. Shock or not, though, I'd meant what I said and I had no intentions of taking it back. I waited on his reply.

"What about your parents? Everyone else? They'll hear us."

I shrugged. "We'll have to deal with that sooner or later anyway. I've learned to tune them every night. They can do the same for us. I want to be with you, Jake. That's the only thing that's important."

His eyes roved over me as he considered what I'd said. At last, he replied, "Not our first time. It shouldn't be like that. I don't want to rush, wondering who's listening and who might be banging on the door at any moment. No, Nessie Cullen, when I have you—and I _will_ have you—we're going to be all alone. I'm going to take my time leisurely kissing every inch of your soft body until you're writhing beneath me, begging for release. Then, before all is said and done, you're going to have screamed my name in pleasure—at least three times."

I gulped. "Three times?" I weakly repeated.

"Oh, yeah." He pulled me back into his embrace, his warm lips brushing against my cheek. "Then, I'm going to start all over again."

(I"m not sure if half-vampires can faint, but I sure wanted to in that moment.) I shuddered against him. "I always give as good as I get," I promised, just in case he thought he was the only one capable of seduction here.

He lightly chuckled. "Looking forward to it. We should go in the house. Smells like Rosalie made chicken pot pie. I, for one, am starving." He took my hand and led me forward.

"So, we're going to start dating again and take it from there?" I asked, wanting to make sure we were on the same page here.

Jake stopped, looking at me over his shoulder. "Miss Cullen, are you actually asking me out on a date?"

I smiled. "Yes, Mr. Black, I am. I'm even willing to buy you dinner."

He dropped my hand and rubbed his chin thoughtfully, pretending to consider the matter with a high degree of gravity. "All right," he finally answered. "But there's something you should know first."

My brow crinkled. "And what is that?"

He leaned forward. "Just because you're paying for my dinner," he stage whispered, "doesn't mean I'm putting out."

I laughed so hard I had to hold my side. Jake winked, turned on his heel, and strode towards the house, the arrogance emanating from him telling me how sure he was that he'd won this round of teasing. The second I had my mirth under control, I ran to put myself in front of him, not willing to lose so easily. "I fully accept your terms, Mr. Black. As long as you understand something."

"And what is that?"

"I reserve the right to change your mind." Without another word, I kissed him. I slipped my tongue inside his mouth, deepening the kiss as I reached around behind him to grab his butt with both hands. I squeezed and jerked his body closer to mine as I continued to move my lips over his. He groaned into my mouth just as I abruptly released him and stepped away.

And with that, I left Jacob standing in the middle of the yard, looking like he'd been hit in the face with a mallet. (I was quite proud of myself.) I'd made it to the front door and was about to go inside the house when his comment drifted over to me.

"Damn it, Jake," he admonished himself, "you've so got to regain the upper hand in this relationship."

I grinned and went into the house.


	37. The Protector

**Chapter Thirty-Seven: The Protector**

The pale, white fist rushed at me and, without thought, I blocked it and sent out a punch of my own. Jasper dodged before I could make contact and, digging his foot into the back of my knee, sent me sprawling head-first to the ground. I flipped back to my feet just as he charged forward. He made a grab for me, but I sidestepped before delivering a swift uppercut to his chin.

He grunted and staggered back. I continued after him, using the same move he'd previously used on me to trip him up. His body slammed to the ground, and I put my foot over his neck to keep him there, his face buried in the snow. Using every ounce of strength Jacob had sent me, I held him down.

"Do you yield?" I asked, my chest heaving with rapid breaths.

Jasper struggled against the confines my boot. I smiled, knowing I had my uncle exactly where I wanted him. Then, of course, everything changed. Before I could blink, he slithered out from beneath my boot and used his vampire speed to maneuver away. Before I knew it, he was restraining my arms behind me.

"Do _you_ yield?" he said against my ear.

"Never," I ground out, forcing my arms forward. He wrestled against me, trying to keep them in place. While he was busy with that, I stepped back into Jasper and head-butted him. He immediately released me and stumbled away. I whirled around and began to charge.

"That's enough!" Dad called. "Everyone stand down!"

I'd been concentrating so hard on maintaining my connection with Jacob while fighting with Jasper that I'd almost forgotten this was training. My uncle and I stared at each other a moment before breaking into dual smiles.

"Well done, niece. You're really coming along," he said, ruffling my head like I was a boy or something. "You might actually be a threat to me one of these days."

I pushed my mussed bangs out of my eyes and smirked. "Oh, please! You were getting your butt kicked, Uncle Jasper, and you know it."

"No, that was Rosalie," Alice said as she approached us.

We looked over in time to see Rosalie picking herself up off the ground. Jacob, in wolf form, had pinned her there before Dad had called a halt to everything. My triumphant wolf boy galloped over to me, a canine version of his usual lopsided grin in place. When he reached my side, he used his large tongue to give my arm a generous lick.

"Yuck, Jake!" I said, with a squeal. "Why do you delight in doing that?"

He let out a strangled bark which I presumed was laughter and rubbed his head against my side much like a cat did when it wanted attention. Without thought, I reached over to scratch behind his ears, something I knew he enjoyed. (It's times like these that having a werewolf for a boyfriend is especially weird.)

"Make sure you give him his flea bath later, Nessie," Rosalie muttered as she made her way back to the sidelines.

Jake laughed again just as Emmett said, "Now, babe, don't be a sore loser."

"Do you know how long it's going to take me to get the snow and dirt out of my hair?" She complained.

Everyone left the consoling of Rosalie to Emmett and regrouped to the middle of the field.

"Well done, Nessie and Jacob," Carlisle said. "You both have become quite proficient at defending yourselves while maintaining your shared strength. I'm proud of the progress you've made. Jasper, you, Emmett, and Edward have done a remarkable job getting everyone ready."

"Carlisle," Dad said, "Jake wants to know if you have any theories on why Nessie can't send her strength yet."

Any happiness and pride I felt suddenly melted away. All the progress Jake and I had made felt redundant because I was still unable to move forward with my sending abilities. To say it was frustrating for me was putting it mildly.

Carlisle tapped his index finger lightly against his mouth. "The inner workings of the imprinting are fascinatingly complex, and there is no literature available to give me any definitive background data on this kind of phenomenon. Sue put me in touch with a few of the tribal elders on the phone, but none have ever seen an imprinting manifest itself in this particular way."

"Because no werewolf ever imprinted on a half-vampire before?" I asked.

"Most likely," Carlisle answered. "Observing you as I have these last few sessions, you and Jacob share the bond of strength, but move and fight like two very separate beings. It's obvious you two have some kind of link, but if I didn't know about the imprinting, I would never suspect what was truly going on. I would think the strength you were showing was your own. Unfortunately, though, without knowing more about how this bond between you and Jacob exactly works, I can only hazard a few guesses as to why you haven't been able to share your strength with him."

Seeing as how guesses with Carlisle were usually better than facts from anyone else, I pressed the matter. "What are your guesses?"

"Well, there is the obvious one, which is that you haven't fully matured yet in your growth. But, I think that is highly unlikely as you are fully developed in every other way. You've haven't gained even the barest inch of height since last summer. Secondly, it's possible there is some step that Jacob is unconsciously performing that you are not."

A few minutes went by while Dad read Jake's thoughts. "Jacob says there's nothing to it. He concentrates on Nessie and then shoves everything he has her way. There are only the two steps."

Carlisle replied, "As I said, these are only guesses. Although, I do find something curious."

"What?" Mom asked.

"When Jacob shares his strength with Nessie, it makes sense that she would then be stronger than she is on her own as his strength has be added to hers. However, I have observed that his strength increases also during this time. So much so that he is powerful enough to throw off someone as strong as Emmett. It's almost like Jacob is somehow tapping into Nessie's strength while transmitting his own to her." His shook his head as if he were confused. "It doesn't make sense in light of the fact that Nessie has been unable to send Jacob anything, but it is interesting to note nonetheless."

"So, Papa Carlisle, you're saying we might be able to transmit our powers to each other at the same time?" The mere idea of that boggled my mind.

Carlisle's face shined brighter than normal, as it always did when he was on the brink of gaining new knowledge. "I'm not sure," he said. "I'd like to run a few tests on you and Jacob over the next few days. It might be the answer to figuring out what's blocking you from sending."

"Anything at this point is better than nothing," I said.

Jasper called a halt to our training for the day. Jacob ran over to the woods and emerged a few minutes later wearing only a pair of cut-off gray shorts that used to be his favorite jogging pants.

"I wish you'd throw those out," Alice tsked as he walked over to me.

"I like them," Jacob retorted. "They're comfortable and easy to carry around. Everything doesn't have to have a designer label, Alice."

"Says you," she said, sticking out her tongue at him as she laughed and ran to catch up with Jasper.

Jacob turned to me with a smile. "What time are you picking me up?"

My consternation over my failures evaporated. I'd momentarily forgotten we were having our date tonight. "_I'm_ picking _you_ up?"

He put his hands affectedly on his hips. "You asked me out, remember? That means you pick me up."

I giggled at his ridiculousness. "Whatever. I'll be at your door in an hour."

He wrapped an arm around my waist as we followed the others to the house. I was picking up an awful lot of nervousness from him, which I thought was cute considering that we'd already been on several dates. _What was left to be nervous about?_

"You still haven't told me where we're going," he said, his voice losing its teasing edge.

"You didn't tell me either on our first date. Turnabout's fair play, don't you think?"

"I suppose," he said, casting me a doubtful glance. "I'd still like to know how you talked your parents into letting us be off alone for an entire evening. Safety is a priority and—"

"Calm down," I said, giving him a swift kiss. "I've worked it all out. Just be ready in an hour. I'm not the kind of woman who likes to be kept waiting."

And with that, I sped off, leaving him staring after me. I rushed through my shower. (Yes, half-vampires take showers. We sweat and get dirty like everyone else. Believe me, you want me to shower regularly. Also, the other members of my family take showers. They don't sweat, but they do routinely get dirty. Example: Rosalie will probably be in the shower most of tonight just washing her hair after training.) I dressed in a pair of blue jeans and a pale yellow sweater and remembered to put on the black onyx necklace Jake had given me for Christmas. After that, I pulled my hair into a neat ponytail and made it downstairs to the kitchen with twenty minutes to spare.

Esme was waiting for me, shutting the lid on a brown wicker basket. "Everything is as you requested," she said, handing it to me.

I leaned over to peck her cheek. "You're the best grandmother ever. Have I told you that lately?"

"Yes, but it doesn't mean I'll ever tire of hearing it," she replied with a warm smile. She handed me a checkered blanket and a heavy, plastic bag. "There's a lighter in the bottom."

I thanked her again, pulled on a jacket, and left. Mom and Dad were sitting on the front porch talking as I walked by. I didn't make it two steps before Dad said, "Be home by 9:00. You have school tomorrow and, grown or not, there's no need for you and Jacob to be together all night."

"Edward," Mom admonished, "don't be a hypocrite. Do I need to remind you that when we were dating you used to spend every night with me in my bed?"

Dad groaned in frustration. "Don't tell her that, Bella, or she'll think we're condoning her spending the night at Jacob's—which we're _not_. Nessie, I can assure you that nothing lascivious went on between your mother and me on those nights I stayed over at her house."

"Not from a lack of trying on my part, I can tell you that," Mom retorted with a wry laugh.

I was sure if my father could have blushed in that moment, he would have. I bit my lip to keep from laughing. My humor at Dad's expense would only make this worse.

"That's it! Nessie, be home by 8:00," Dad ordered.

Mom popped him on the shoulder. "Oh, Edward, stop being a stereotype. You've given your blessing to them. You can't take it back now. Nessie, don't listen to him. As long as you're home by 11:00, you're good."

Nodding, I scurried away before Dad could change her mind. Zipping out to my preordained spot, I set up everything and made it back to Jacob's door right on time. It was getting darker by the minute, but my half-vampire eyesight still allowed me to see everything pretty clearly. I knocked on Jacob's door.

The scent of soap, shampoo, the ever-present woodsy smell of pure Jacob hit me the second he opened the door. He was dressed in his usual jeans and t-shirt combo, both of which were brand new and —no doubt—designer.

"Alice?" I asked with a laugh as my eyes ran over him.

He grimaced. "Alice."

(Alice routinely raided Jacob's closet while he was at work, tossing out worn clothing and replacing it with new—something she did to all of us. Thus, if Jacob wanted to wear something more than twice, he had to hide it. I'd wondered more than once how he'd managed to protect his precious gray cut-offs from her for this long.)

He reached out to finger the necklace I was wearing. "So you do like it?"

"Of course. It's beautiful. I would have worn it before, but we've been training so much lately I was afraid it might get broken."

He kissed me quickly before pulling back, supreme satisfaction on his face.

"Well, Mr. Black, are you ready to go on our date?"

Jacob bowed dramatically. "Of course, Miss Cullen. Just show me the way." He shut the door behind him and followed me down the steps. Stopping suddenly, he looked startled when I bypassed the garage and went towards the training field.

I looked over a shoulder at him. "You coming?"

Arching a curious brow, he loped over to me, lacing our fingers as we walked along. He didn't ask the question I knew he was dying to ask until we'd passed through the training field and kept going. "Are we walking to New York for this date?"

"Nope," I said and pulled him up a small rise just a few steps east of the field. Once we'd topped that, I felt the awe of the moment hit him.

There before us was on the snow-laden ground was the thick checkered blanket laid out with the basket. Circling it all was a bevy of fat, white candles, each one flickering in the slight wind in the night air.

Jacob looked at me. "You're amazing."

I shrugged and sent him a sassy wink. "I know. It's the only way I could be alone with you and keep my parents from freaking out about safety. I'm learning to compromise in my old age."

"Glad to hear it. I hope to practice compromising with you in the near future."

I let that loaded comment slide and pulled him over to the blanket. After we'd taken our seats, I opened the basket and started pulling out various foodstuffs.

"You cooked?" he asked in surprise.

"No time. I got a little help from Mama Esme."

Esme had gone overboard. There was lemonade, fried chicken, biscuits, fruit, cheese, apple tarts and Jacob's favorite peanut butter and chocolate chip cookies, one of which he immediately snatched up.

Taking a bite, he sighed. "I love having a grandmother."

I laughed and helped myself to a chicken leg. When we'd eaten and drank our fill, I put everything away. Jacob lounged back, laying his head in my lap. I ran my fingers through his hair absentmindedly as I enjoyed the quiet peacefulness of the night. This tranquility was only disturbed by an owl hooting in the distance and the fact that I could sense Jacob had something heavy weighing on his mind. Whatever it was made him a mixed up wreck of emotions. Anxiety, anger, frustration, and determination were the easiest ones to recognize.

"What are you thinking about?"

Jacob glanced up at me. It was obvious he wanted to lie, but knew the imprinting would tell on him. He looked away before answering. "Two things. The Volturi and you."

"Don't waste your time worrying about the Volturi. It could take them years before they decide to come here. They could even change their minds and not come at all."

"It might take them years to get here, Nessie, but they'll come just the same. Never doubt that."

I rubbed his forehead, trying to soothe away his concerns. "We'll have a plan in place when they do. Jasper and Dad have already worked on all sorts of scenarios. We're just waiting for Alice to give us the details and we'll be set."

He stared up at the crescent moon above us. "You're scared too, darlin'. You're trying to hide it from me, but I can still feel it."

(The worst thing about this imprinting is that one of us can't even lie in order to make the other feel better. It sucks.) "I just think my original plan was—"

"The plan of a little girl hoping for a fairy tale ending where everyone walks away without a scratch? That isn't the kind of world we live in. We have to fight them, Nessie. It's the only way to end this—even if people have to die."

"That's not the kind of reality I want to live in."

Jacob exhaled heavily and sat up, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. He looked over at me. "If I ask you something, will you at least hear me out before you answer?"

I held my breath, hoping this wasn't another proposal he was working up to. I didn't want to fight with him about that right now. "As long as it doesn't involve a ring, I'll listen."

"It's not that." He reached over to take my hand in his. "I love you, Nessie. I wouldn't want to be in a world where you don't exist. I've given this a lot of thought. I think if we could keep you away when the Volturi get here—"

"No, Jake! I'm not going to hide while the rest of my family is out fighting for me. I'll fight too. One of us goes down, we all go down."

"You said you'd listen as long as it didn't involve a ring."

I frowned. "I'll never agree to hide, Jake."

"Just hear me out, OK?"

I nodded, not liking this one bit. I didn't care what he said. I was going to be standing beside my family when the Volturi showed up, come Hell or high water. Snatching my hand back, I crossed my arms over my chest and waited.

"When the Volturi come here, the primary target is going to be you. I'm merely suggesting that we stash you in the house. We can lure them to the training field. If you're in the house in your parent's room, you can still see everything that's going on from there. I can send you my strength. Carlisle was right about it making me stronger than I am on my own. They won't be expecting an attack from us, and having my power as well as Nahuel on our side should be enough to do some major damage—enough to turn the tide in our favor. My point is that, if you aren't there, I can focus more on the actual fight. We all could. Otherwise—"

I couldn't believe he was actually saying this to me. But, at the same time, I knew he really meant it. "Are you saying I'm a liability here?"

He reached up to touch my cheek. "I'm saying if you're on that field with me when they get here, I won't be able to think about anything but protecting you, none of us will. We all know they're after you, Nessie. We won't be able to help worrying about you. They'll be able to use that lack of focus against us. They'd be fools not to."

I hated Jacob in that moment simply because I couldn't fault his logic. (But, that didn't mean I didn't try.) "I can hold my own, Jake. You saw me today at training. I'm good."

"Training is one thing. Real fighting is another. You've never had to deal with a situation like that before. If you can't hold on to your concentration in the heat of battle, Nessie, you'll put us both at risk. If you're safely tucked away and watching at a distance, that's all you'll have to focus on, maintaining the concentration with me. You'll still be a part of everything—an important part—but you'll also be safe."

I didn't say anything for a long time as I considered everything he'd said. What if he was right? What if I was the liability here? What if I became the reason one or more of my family died? Could I live with that? I didn't think I could. As grown as I was, in that moment, I felt like an average seven-year-old. Every instinct I had fought against his words, but that didn't make them any less true.

"But, if I could learn to hold my concentration better, if I could learn how to send you my strength—"

"Those are a lot of ifs, darlin'. You've been trying for months, and you're no better at sending today than you were when we first started."

"But Carlisle said he could run tests. He could find out what's holding me back. He could, Jacob. Then, I'd be able to fight with you all. I'd be an asset instead of a liability."

He shook his head. "You're still just seven-years-old, Nessie, and I'm going to do everything in my power to ensure you make it to eight and beyond."

"I'm not a child. We've talked about this before. You agreed you didn't see me that way, that I should be included in the plans, in everything. Was it all a lie? Just something you said to end the argument between us?" I scooted back from him, more confused and furious than I could ever remember being in my life.

"I've never lied to you. Even if I wanted to, the imprinting wouldn't allow it. You're not a child, Nessie. I agree with you. But you _are_ seven-years-old. There's no denying that. There are millions of things you haven't experienced, a thousand more lessons you have yet to learn. I want to make sure you're around to experience those things, to learn those lessons."

I stood up, needing to put more distance between us. "You're my boyfriend, Jacob, not my father."

He got to his feet, too. "I'm your protector, Nessie, first and foremost. Always have been. That, more than anything else, is why I was put on this earth. I'm in love with you, yes, and I want you to have a choice in this. You're grown and have a right to a choice. But, at the same time, if it comes down to you having a choice or you being safe, I'll sacrifice everything to keep you from harm—even if it means you hate me, even if it means my death."

I just stood there staring at him for the longest time. The connection between us buzzed so much it almost burned my insides. I knew he was right, but I couldn't acknowledge any of that now. I just wanted to be away from him so I could think. Since the day I'd found out about the imprinting, I hadn't felt more trapped, more like a character in someone else's play. Knowing Jacob was in much the same condition didn't make me feel better. We all had our roles to play here. He was merely performing his duties, the same duties he'd been doing all my life. The fact that we'd fallen in love didn't matter when it came to this. In that same vein, I had a part to play as well. As much as it galled my pride, maybe it was time to accept my limitations here, especially if it saved even one member of my family from death. Maybe I could do more good by allowing myself to be placed away from the fight.

"Nessie," he murmured as he reached for me, no doubt feeling my anger, confusion, and hurt.

I stepped out of his grasp. "I can't be around you right now. If I'm going to make a choice, then I need to think. I've heard you, and I'll consider what you've said. That's all I can promise tonight."

He nodded solemnly, but said nothing more. I walked around him and started blowing out and collecting candles. Jake helped. Once all the supplies were gathered and repacked, we retraced our path back to the house. We had just stepped up onto the porch when he suddenly turned to me.

"I do love you, Renesmee Cullen. Never doubt that. You've been a burst of daylight in a neverending life of darkness."

A tear fell from my eye as I looked at him. That was the most beautifully poetic thing I'd ever heard him say. "I love you, too, Jacob Black. Nothing and no one will ever change that."

He leaned down to kiss me just as the front door swung open. It was Emmett.

"I was just coming to get you both," he said.

Before I could respond, my eyes caught on what was going on behind him. In the living room, an obviously distraught Alice was encircled by Rosalie, Jasper, Esme and Mom. They all seemed to be comforting her. Carlisle and Dad stood off to the side, furiously whispering to each other.

"What's happened?" I asked, not sure I truly wanted to hear the answer.

Emmett's voice was monotone as he replied, "It's the Volturi. They're coming."


	38. Promises He Could Never Keep

**Chapter Thirty-Eight: Promises He Could Never Keep**

The Volturi were coming.

Cold, raw fear guillotined through me. There's a marked difference between planning for the worst case scenario and having someone confirm that it's actually going to happen. I'd thought I was prepared to hear this news, that it would almost be a welcome relief to know the details of when and where the Volturi were coming.

Oh, how wrong I was.

Jake's hand reached out for me, but I pulled away as I started toward Alice. "When?" I demanded. "When are they coming?"

If Alice had been capable of crying, her face would have been awash in streams of salt water. As it was, she was a waxen, forlorn shadow of herself, her petite body limply propped against Jasper. This news had certainly taken a toll on her. I knew I should be sensitive to that, take it easy on her, but I couldn't. I had to know.

"_When_, Aunt Alice?" I yelled.

She wouldn't look at me, but she still answered. "A few months. By the middle of May is my best guess. The snow is mostly off the ground, and flowers are blooming in the field."

"The same field where Constantine attacked? That's where we'll meet them?"

"No hope," Alice moaned. "There's no hope." It all proved too much as her knees buckled.

Jasper instantly swept her up into his arms. He glanced at me. "No more," he curtly ordered before turning back to Alice."Don't worry, sweetheart. It won't happen. There's still time to change it," he crooned as he swept them both upstairs.

There was clearly much more to her vision than just the impending arrival of Volturi. I turned to confront my remaining family members. "What else?" I was surrounded by a sea of tormented expressions. The only one who wouldn't look at me was Mom, who was motionless and seemed dazed. "What are you all keeping from me?"

I glanced at Dad. Edward Cullen's eyes were flaming pools of burnished gold. He reached forward to touch my cheek, as if to assure himself that I was still standing in front of him or maybe it was his way of trying to comfort me. I jerked away, needing answers more than solace.

"Tell me," I insisted. Jacob came up behind me. Through our bond, I could feel his anxiety rising along with mine.

Surprisingly enough, it was Mom who finally spoke. "Alice saw you die. You were trying to fight, but you weren't strong enough. Felix—" Her voice broke as she pushed herself to finish. "He killed you."

Dad darted to Mom's side and wrapped her in his arms. She fell against him, burying her face in his chest. Nahuel muttered something angrily that I didn't catch right away. But, all too soon, the shock of Mom's statement receded and Nahuel's managed to filter through.

"Just like Jennifer," he'd said.

_Just like Jennifer._

Instinct told me there was yet more I didn't know. My stomach clenched in response as I suddenly realized what else they were keeping from me. "What more? Who else dies?" I heard myself ask in a voice so cold that I almost didn't recognize it as my own.

"Nessie," my father pleaded, reaching out a hand to entreat me to come to him. He wanted me at his side, but couldn't let go of Mom at the same time.

I ignored his plea. "Just tell me."

_Not Jacob_, my brain chanted over and over again. _Not my Jacob. Not him. _

Out of nowhere, Esme embraced me. I tensed, frozen and unable to hug her back. Her voice vibrated against my ear. "Alice saw Jasper take up the fight against Felix after you fell to the ground. It didn't look like he was winning, but she couldn't be sure what happened next because everything went blank. We think it's because of Jacob being there. We're not sure how she was able to see as much as she did, but she's positive you and Jasper will die on that field." She pulled back to look at me, holding my shoulders. "But, Nessie, it doesn't have to be that way. We can—"

I disengaged from her grasp and backed up, unable to hear anymore. My brain was stuck on a loop._ You and Jasper will die on that field._ _You and Jasper will die on that field._ _You and Jasper will die on that field._

I wanted to run away from everything. It's what I always did when I was on the verge of freaking out. I go somewhere I can be completely alone, have the nervous breakdown I deserve, chill out, and then think of a way to solve my problem. Unfortunately, I knew there was no way my family was going to allow me to leave the compound tonight alone. And, being alone was what I needed more than anything. I continued moving away from them, shrugging off Jacob's touch. I was close to crumbling under the weight of this, but knew I could keep it together if they would only stop trying to touch me. I needed to be strong. I needed them to stop looking at me like a helpless, scared child in need of soothing. I continued until I felt the barrier of the front door against my back.

And, just like that, the full weight of everything hit me. I was going to die and so was Jasper. I wanted to proclaim my family as liars. I wanted to scream. I wanted to hide where no one could find me. I wanted it all to go away. But, most of all, I wanted to tear the head off of every Volturi member in existence and howl my victory to the moon.

But, I didn't do any of that.

No, in the end, I just slumped to my knees and cried.

—**D—**

"I've got her."

The next thing I was aware of was the sensation of being carried. Jacob had scooped me up in much the same manner as Jasper had Alice and was taking me upstairs to my room. Pushing open my door, he laid me carefully across the bed. I didn't move from where he'd placed me. My tears were spent and so was I. I stared uselessly above me, my brain unable to process anything but the sight of the white, textured ceiling. Every nerve I had was flayed, and I was more exhausted than I'd ever been in my life.

Out of the corner of my eye, I watched Jacob turn on the bedside lamp, casting the room in a soft, white glow. Then, without a word, he headed for the door. Panic rose within me.

"Don't leave," I croaked. As much as I'd wanted to be alone before, the mere idea of it now left me terrified.

"I'm not going anywhere."

He walked over to my door, shut it, and came back. I heard the muffled thuds of his shoes hitting the floor. The bed dipped as he stretched out next to me. I rolled closer to him. Nuzzling into the crook of his corded neck, I inhaled his natural, earthy smell. My arms slipped around his waist as I burrowed deeper into him, shivering slightly from all I'd heard and experienced downstairs. Jacob's heated body was a balm I couldn't seem to get enough of. He enveloped me in a fierce hug and caressed my back in slow, meticulous strokes.

I looked up at him. The light from the lamp cast shadows over half his face, but he was still so beautiful to me. I could see the worry in his expression, could feel it through our bond. His hand came up from behind me to hover slightly over my face. Jacob paused only a moment before he cradled my jaw, swiping the tears on one cheek away with his thumb.

"I'm not going to let anything happen to you, Nessie."

_Just like Jennifer._

Nahuel's voice ghosted through my mind, but I pushed it back. I didn't want to process any of that. I didn't want to think about the Volturi, my death, Jasper, or any of it. I wanted only to escape. I closed my eyes. He placed feathering kisses on my forehead, eyelids, and cheeks. When he was done, I opened my eyes to find him smiling down at me reassuringly. Love for him welled hard inside of me. There was no escaping my fate. It was decided. I was going to die. Jasper was too. Alice had seen it. She wasn't wrong about things like this. I knew that, even if Jacob couldn't or wouldn't acknowledge it. Knowing my days were numbered suddenly made me not want to waste another second of the time I had left. My hands looped around his neck as I reached up to cover his mouth with my own.

He mumbled something, but it was lost against the force of my kiss. My lips undulated furiously over his in a passion-induced frenzy that probably would have scared me if I hadn't been so emotionally overloaded already. My fingers wove themselves in his thick hair, pulling his head closer to mine as I strengthened the kiss. I sucked his bottom lip in between my own, gently nibbling around the edges. I released it, and, after kissing him deeply, I started the process all over again.

Jacob moaned into my mouth, kissing me back as vehemently as I kissed him. As our mouths fused, all else melted away. I was powered by pure instinct, concentrating only on the feel of him and the intense need he was arousing within me. His hands wandered down my back, fondling first my hip and then my butt. It was completely natural for me curl a leg intimately around him. Jake rolled us slightly until I was flat on my back and he was firmly settled between my thighs. I tightened my grip around his neck and angled my head to deepen our kiss. I hooked my other leg over his hip, pulling him further into my intimate embrace. My breasts were crushed against his chest, and his pelvis was pressed deliciously against mine. As he grinded against me, I gasped at the onslaught of pleasure. The sensation felt so good that I mimicked his movement, eliciting a guttural groan from him for my efforts.

Jacob's mouth left mine. His head fell to rest in the hollow in my shoulder. "Nessie," he whispered, his voice graveled and thick, "we can't do this now. Not like this. Not after tonight's news."

Ignoring him, I slid my hands intently down his chest, under his shirt, and pulled the garment up towards his shoulders. Nothing else mattered right now. I inched the shirt up further and further, peppering little kisses along his collarbone until the fabric was bunched across his neck. He shuddered, letting me know just how much he enjoyed that. I glanced up to find him staring down at me. I was not willing to be denied. "I need you, Jake. Make love to me. Tonight. Now. Right this second."

I could feel the emotions warring within him. He wanted this. He knew I wanted it, needed it. He wanted to give me what I needed. But, all of this fought against logic and reason. But, in the end, the temptation appeared to be too strong. With a growl, he swooped down, capturing my mouth with his. His kiss seared me until my breathing became labored and heavy. Panting, I broke away, pushing and tugging at his shirt until I had it over his head. Jake leaned up, slipped himself loose of it, and tossed it across the room. Finally, he settled back on top of me.

I could see threads of sanity and sense returning in his expression, so I trailed hot kisses down his chest, taking his nipple into my mouth and sucking slightly.

"Your parents," he hissed, closing his eyes and arching against me.

"I don't care. Take me. Make me forget everything," I said before grazing his nipple with my teeth. Instinctively, I bit down, ever so slightly.

The second I did that, his hips rocked against me. _Oh, how divine it all is._ This felt good, wild, and liberating all at the same time. He fisted a hand in my hair, tipped my head back, and barbarically claimed my lips. I welcomed his tongue inside to play with mine. Moaning, I reached down to knead his hard, muscled butt, grinding him further against me. He had one hand planted on the bed, balancing his weight. The other hurried down my shirt, ripping buttons from their holes until he pushed the garment aside. Through my bra, he cupped one breast and then the other, dotting moist, heated kisses along the tops of them. I arched against him, inflamed by what he was doing. I wanted more. I wanted skin on skin. I needed more. I needed everything he could give me and so much more. I jerked, trying to free my arms from my shirt. Something in my movements seemed to galvanize him because he suddenly extricated himself and settled next to me on the bed, his breaths coming out in rocky, uneven heaves.

Automatically, I reached for him, but he held me off. "I love you, Nessie. I want you_—oh, God, how I want you_. But, not like this, not as a way of escape from the Volturi," he said, keeping his gaze firmly directed on the ceiling. "You were right when you refused my proposal. Developments in our relationship should be about us, not as a reaction to what's going on around us."

I didn't want to hear anything he had to say. A wave of raw hurt sliced through me as I rolled to the opposite side of the bed. Without the distraction of him around me, I was flooded with all my fears, trepidation, and now the pain of rejection. Turning my back on him, I pulled my knees up against my chest.

"Get out," I said, feeling the tears choking my throat. I couldn't handle this on top of everything else. I didn't care about right and wrong. I only knew I had sought solace and Jacob had refused me. I was going to die, and I wasn't even going to get to enjoy this night. Tears flowed. I didn't even try to stop them. My body bucked and shuddered as I wept bitterly against the pillow.

He didn't leave. Instead, he wrapped me in his arms from behind, pulling my back against his warm chest until I felt baptized in his heat. Numbly, my body stilled against him. He pressed a kiss on the top of my head.

"We'll work this out, Nessie. I swear. No harm will come to you. I'll die first."

His words didn't fulfill their intended purpose. Even though I'd quieted, tears continued to stream silently down my face. I was not comforted. How could I be? There was nothing he or I could do to stop the horror of what was coming. My grief at my imminent death was stark and raw. _And Jasper . . . Jasper's going to die because of me._ I swallowed the knowledge of it all, feeling it settle in my stomach like a hot lava. I was going to die. There was no more escape from my fate. Even if Jacob couldn't seem to face that truth of that, I could.

And, as he lay there rocking me and making promises he could never keep, I did.


	39. Almost Broken

**Chapter Thirty-Nine: Almost Broken**

The world was devoid of color and stimulation.

I didn't care.

There was a hectic amount of things going on around me.

I didn't care.

The Volturi were coming to kill me.

I. Didn't. Care.

I moved with robotic efficiency, going through the motions of life simply because it was expected of me. Outside, my demeanor was calm and placid. Inside, I was frozen with fear and an insurmountable feeling of dread and hopelessness. As days passed, I got good at walling myself emotionally away until I felt nothing at all. This blissfully anesthetic was a welcome relief.

My family, of course, were fanatical in their zeal to overcome the threat of the Volturi. In the days following Alice's vision, they'd all worked tirelessly to overhaul our old plan. I wasn't sure what they'd decided at this point. I'd purposely stayed away as I couldn't summon the energy or curiosity to find out. I knew I should. I should be in the middle of everything, trying to figure out a way to save my family, to save myself. But, I just couldn't.

I continued to go to school, but now, as added protection, Nahuel was enrolled with me. Before, I would have argued, but now I just went along with it. It wouldn't matter in the end. Nahuel, who'd never had any kind of formal education before, took to school like a newborn to human blood. Dad had dazzled the principal into believing Nahuel was an exchange student from South America we'd taken in. The principal, Ms. Rose, was so overcome by Dad she had no problem ensuring Nahuel and I were in all of the same classes. At school, people were enthralled with the oddity of Nahuel with his dark braided hair, olive complexion, and light maple syrup eyes. His stark, foreign beauty and overly formal way of speaking made him such an object of awe and wonderment that few people could gather the courage to talk to him for extended periods of time. The fact that he spent nearly every waking moment at my side had most people assuming he and I were dating.

I didn't care.

The days started to blend into each other until I lost the ability to tell them apart. I suppose Jake was worried about me, but whatever it was that kept me walled away from my feelings kept his away too until I wasn't sure if the bond between us even still existed.

Again, I didn't care.

"Did someone die?" Derek asked me one day during lunch.

"Huh?" I looked up to find him and Emma staring at me expectantly from across our table in the cafeteria. Most days, I'd managed to avoid them by hiding out in the girls' restroom during this period. But, today, Emma had come in and demanded I eat with them. I gave in just so she'd stop talking. They'd tried to engage me in some kind of conversation, but to little avail.

"Why are you acting like this? Did someone die?"

_They're going to_, I wanted to say. Instead, I shrugged, laid my chin on my arms across the table, and said, "I'm just tired."

"It's been weeks, Nessie, that you've been acting like this. What happened?"

I turned away from them, resting the side of my head on my arms. "Nothing. I told you. I'm just tired."

"Nessie, you should eat." This came from Nahuel, who I felt sit down next to me. Even though he sat next to me in every class and followed me around for most of the day, he'd been giving me my space during lunch. I supposed that was over now. Instead of having some long, drawn-out discussion I didn't have the energy for, I sat up and ate my sandwich.

Emma and Derek eyed each other and then darted glances at Nahuel and me. They knew who he was, of course. _(Who didn't at this point?)_ But, to my knowledge, neither had ever spoken to him.

"I'm Derek, and this is Emma," Derek said, reaching across to offer out a hand.

Nahuel hesitated the barest of minutes before shaking it. "A pleasure to make your acquaintance."

"Are you Nessie's boyfriend?" Emma blurted out.

Derek's eyebrows shot heavenward as he waited for either Nahuel or myself to respond. I took another bite of my sandwich. Nahuel looked at me, waiting to see if I would answer them. When a few minutes of silence went by without me doing more than chewing, he turned to the couple across from us.

"No, I am afraid I do not have the honor of being Nessie's suitor."

"Did your boyfriend break up with you? Is that why you're so sad?" Emma asked, reaching out to take my hand in order to offer comfort.

Before she could make contact, I pulled away under the guise of picking up my soda. I gulped down a brief swig, answered her question with a slow shake of my head, and took another bite of my sandwich.

"Nessie, please tell us—"

The bell ringing cut Derek off. I got to my feet, mutely picking up the remains of my lunch. I tossed them in the trash as I left the cafeteria. I became aware of Nahuel walking at my side as I went to my next class.

"They are your friends, Nessie. You should talk to them."

I looked dully at him. "They're humans. What would you like me to tell them?" Without waiting for his reply, I pushed open the door to the classroom and went inside. I heard him mutter something, but I didn't catch it. And, in the end, it didn't matter.

Because I didn't care.

—**D—**

"I'm going to watch television at Jake's."

Everyone sitting around the dining room table swiveled to gape at me. Jake turned from his seat and said, "Why don't you watch it in the living room?"

"You guys are talking too loud for me to hear it. The apartment is quieter."

Not having the energy to debate this, I exited the house and headed toward Jake's alone. I could feel their eyes following me out the dining room window, but it was irrelevant. I wanted to be free of them for a while. Their planning sessions had gotten more frequent and heated. It was getting harder to tune them out—even from my bedroom. The overwhelming fear I'd been keeping at bay was threatening to spill over the longer I had to listen to them. I just wanted to zone out and think of nothing. My numbness had gone from being my shield to my drug of choice. I was an addict. I couldn't be without it.

I climbed the stairs and pushed open Jake's front door. Flopping down on his brown couch, I picked up the remote and started listlessly flipping through the channels. For the next hour, I watched bits and pieces of movies, not remaining on any one thing for too long. Eventually, I got sleepy. I rose with the idea to go to my room, but my stomach clenched at the thought of returning to the house. I didn't want to be around my family right now. I couldn't stand to see the worry etched into their features, the insane hope they all had burning in their eyes that I'd be able to avoid the death sentence that had been handed down. I also didn't want to hear their plans for the Volturi. Just hearing the word "Volturi" was enough to make me want to run in the opposite direction. I was going to die, but I wasn't going to dwell on it. I'd go crazy if I did.

There was no telling how long they all would be up talking. This left only one alternative. I flipped off the TV and got up from the couch.

Jacob's bedroom was as I expected it to be. The king-sized bed was a mess, with pillows scattered on the floor and a baby blue comforter hanging off one end. Alice routinely threatened to come up here and clean, but Jacob wouldn't have it. So, out of respect for his privacy, the family left him alone. I kicked off my shoes as I entered the room, picked up a stray pillow, and piled into the bed, pulling the comforter up around me. It smelled like him, musky and woodsy at the same time. Sleep came easy—it always did these days. (The weird thing is, no matter how much sleep I get, I never feel completely rested.)

The next thing I was aware of was the side of the bed tilting down and a large, warm hand grazing my cheek.

"Nessie? Do you want to go back into the house? We're done talking tonight."

I groaned and turned over, irritated to be pulled from the blissful peace of oblivion. I idly wondered if that was what death was like. _What if there is no heaven? What if nothing is all there is?_

"Nessie?"

Through squinted eyes, I peered up at him. He'd gotten to the other side of the bed and was leaning over me. I took a deep breath before releasing it slowly. "What, Jake?"

"It's after midnight."

"Do you want me to leave?" It was the last thing I wanted. I was cozy and so close to falling into oblivion again. I desperately wanted that oblivion.

His shoes_ thunked_ as they hit the floor. "No," he said with a ragged sigh. "But, I do know your father. He won't like this."

"Honestly? I don't care. Either get into this bed with me or go sleep on the couch," I croaked with a loud yawn. I closed my eyes, not waiting to see what Jacob was going to do. I was drifting off slightly when he slid in next to me. His body heat blazed through the blanket. Following the warmth, I edged closer to him.

He reached for me. My hands slipped over his naked chest, but I paid it no mind. I was only after his heat. The memory of his rejection that night flickered in painful memory, but I pushed it away. I also ignored the kiss Jacob placed against my forehead before taking me fully into his arms.

"Nessie," he softly called.

I didn't answer him. I just laid there. Unwillingly, my eyes drifted up to his face. It was so dark that, if I hadn't been a half-vampire, I wouldn't have been able to see him. His expression was full of concern and anguish—like everyone else. I immediately buried my face in his neck so I wouldn't have to see anymore.

"Where have you gone to, my Nessie? Won't you come back to me?"

I felt emotion well up inside of me so heavily that I wanted to cry. I pushed it back down, but it took the last of my energy to do so. "I'm tired, Jake. I'm so tired." I turned over, putting my back against his chest. The pull of oblivion was leaving me now, replaced with light smattering of feelings I didn't want to deal with this minute, if ever.

Maybe Jake sensed that I couldn't talk right now. Maybe the imprinting told him what I needed and he just had to give it to me. Whatever the reason, he pulled me tighter into his embrace and rocked us slowly back and forth.

"I love you, my Nessie," he whispered against my ear. "I'll always love you."

His words punched through my wall of numbness. He waited, but I said nothing. I simply kept still, letting him hold me. Minutes passed—maybe hours—with us like that. The longer he held me, the longer the ache grew in my chest until it clawed at my insides trying to get out. Hot tears seeped out of the corners of my eyes. I wiped them away with the comforter. _Why can't he just leave me alone?_ I wanted to shove away from him. But, at the same time, there was nowhere else I wanted to be. I needed him, like a drowning person needed a life preserver. It was so odd a position to be in. Part of me wanted to drown, to just let the waves take me away. Yet, here I was clinging to my life preserver with everything I had.

More tears slipped out until I was openly weeping. A low moan escaped me as I was hit with the full force of my sorrow. It was too much. I couldn't handle this. I didn't want to die. I didn't want anyone to die for me. I only wanted to live in a world where I could exist and not be a threat to anyone. I wanted a forever with Jacob. I wanted to love and to be loved, to live and let live. _Why is that so much to ask? _

Jake pressed on top of my head, murmuring his promise of love for me again and again like it was a chant he was using to break a spell. I felt his body shudder against mine and knew he was crying as well.

"Come back to me, darlin'." I heard him say. "Please come back to me."

Suddenly, like the flickering light bulb, the once dormant bond between us clicked on. I tried to ignore the buzzing of it, but it wasn't going to be denied anymore. I could feel him as much as he could feel me. His anguish, his fury, his fear, his love. They were all equal to mine. And, as much as he had always instinctively known what I needed, I now instinctively knew what he needed. He needed me, the me I used to be. The me I could still be. I could feel the full weight of how selfish I'd been these last few weeks. I'd pushed him away as a protective measure to keep me from breaking. But, in doing so, I'd almost broken us.

Turning in his embrace, I wrapped my arms around his neck and held him close to me. Trying to comfort him, to let him know I was still in here . . . somewhere. I sobbed against his neck. As selfish as I knew it was, I still didn't want to do this. I wanted my oblivion back. I needed the security of the numbness. I didn't have to feel this way there. I didn't want to care about anything anymore. I didn't want to feel anything anymore.

But, it was too late. The numbness was gone for good. I could feel everything. I did feel everything. And, as bad as these emotions were, I realized something far worse.

I did care. I cared a lot.


	40. Jumping Kings

**Chapter Forty: Jumping Kings**

Caring only made things worse. It was like someone turned on a faucet inside of me. One minute, everything was bone dry. The next, there was a flood of emotion so savage I felt ripped asunder.

(Needless-to-say, my coping skills at this point were nonexistent.)

"Nessie, it is not good for you hang on to your anger this way."

"Suck it, Nahuel," I retorted, turning up the volume on my radio and gunning the engine. The quicker I got us to school, the quicker I could get away from him and his incessant need for conversations I had no interest in.

I'd awoken this morning in Jacob's bed. During the night, sleep had maneuvered us to opposite ends of the mattress. (Note: Only people in romance novels actually sleep the whole night wrapped in each other's arms. In reality, people toss, turn, and, in Jake's case, kick the covers into the floor.) I'd been sleeping on my side facing him. He was still asleep on his stomach, one arm thrown out towards me and only half of his face visible as he lay on a pillow. His expression was softened in slumber, giving him the appearance of an innocent, little boy instead of the robust man he was.

I reached out and slid a finger lightly down his brown cheek. It seemed like only yesterday that my biggest concern had been whether or not I wanted to spend the rest of my existence with him. It seemed so silly now. Of course I wanted to be with him. How had I ever questioned that? My heart clenched involuntarily. _Oh, God, how I love him._

With tears biting the backs of my eyes, a spark of anger flared inside me. My own death was bad enough. But there was no way Jake was just going to stand there and let someone kill me, which meant his death was just as imminent as mine. My anger was further fueled by thinking of how each of my family members, Jasper, Mom, Dad—all of them—would die trying to protect me. From that moment forward, rage was my middle name. We were all going to die for no other reason but fear on the Volturi's part that we might—at some unknown date—decide to take their power for ourselves. It was the dumbest thing I'd ever heard of. I shoved my anger aside, not able to get rid of it completely as it still boiled beneath the surface. But, I was calm enough to get out of bed.

I needed to get control of this before I did something stupid. (Hopping a plane headed to Volterra was coming to mind.) Being near Jacob only reminded me of what I was going to lose. I couldn't stand it. So, I retrieved my shoes and went back to the main house. It was almost 6:30 and I needed to get ready for school. Emmett and Rosalie were watching television in the living room when I came in. I said nothing, knowing my prolonged absence, wrinkled clothes, and rumpled hair were enough to provoke uncomfortable questions. They said nothing as I ran upstairs. I rushed through my shower, dressed, and grabbed my book bag off my desk.

I made it downstairs before I was confronted by my parents, who'd taken sentry positions at either side of the front door. I sighed. This was the last thing I needed.

"I'm going to be late for school," I said, staring expectantly at them.

"This has gone on long enough, Nessie," my mother said, stepping forward. "You can't keep shutting everyone out. You have to deal with this."

"You deal with it your way. I'll deal with it mine," I replied, adjusting the book bag against my shoulder. "I need to go to school."

"Nessie, we're trying to help you," Dad said, coming to take his place at Mom's side.

"You can't help me. Nobody can. Don't you see? Anyone who tries to help me is going to end up dead." And, with that, I shoved my way out of the house and over to my car.

I heard Dad try to follow me, but Mom held him back, murmuring words I didn't care to overhear. I jammed my key in the ignition and shoved the shifter into reverse. The sudden wind next to me told me Nahuel had used his super speed to get into the car. I glared over at him, not in the mood for any more "talks."

"Not a word and I'll toss you out of the car," I warned, knowing what an empty threat it was, but feeling better for having made it.

We'd pulled onto Main Street before Nahuel had broken the silence. Upon hearing my blunt retort, a wry smile crept over his face, but he said nothing more. We quickly reached the school. I parked the car, and we went inside. I made it all the way to French before he tried to talk to me again. We'd been broken into groups of two or three and given the task of playing games in French. (Madame Porter, our teacher, doesn't care if you play chess, Monopoly, or Uno—so long as it's done in French.)

"Nessie, we need to talk about the Volturi."

"French only, class!" Madame Porter reminded from the front of the room.

I looked directly at Nahuel before replying. "_No_," I said, happy the word was pretty much the same in both English and French. I pulled out checkers—a game that didn't involve much talking—and started setting up the pieces. We played for a while before he started again. This time, he kept his voice at a volume only he and I could hear.

"Jennifer was not prepared, and that cost her her life."

I moved a checker forward before I responded. "Prepared or not, she would have died anyway. If the Volturi want you dead, you die." I punctuated my statement by taking my only king and jumping one of his men.

Nahuel's face registered shock at my sharp comment, but he wasn't deterred. "At least my sister fought until the end. She did not just let them kill her." And, with that, he jumped my king as well as my remaining men and abruptly won the game. He leaned over and hissed, "You are stronger than this. Where is that famous fighting spirit you exhibited in the field that day with Constantine? Where is the girl who dumped cobbler on the head of her beloved and demanded everyone listen to her? She is still within you, Nessie. Find her, and you just might save us all."

And, with that, he moved over to join a game of Uno. I considered his words briefly before thrusting them away. _How can I save anyone?_ I couldn't even send my strength to Jake. Plus, holding my concentration when he was sending me his wasn't my strong suit either. I was useless, an albatross around the Cullen family's neck. I was the reason they were all going to die. Fury roared within me like an inferno, threatening to take over everything. I had to hang onto it before I ended up killing some innocent human with my bare hands. _Yeah, that would help things_, I thought with a grimace.

Nahuel rejoined me as I headed out to lunch, walking by my side without a word. We took our usual table and waited for Emma and Derek. _(God knows what they'll do if I don't join them for lunch.) _

"Our lunches were left on the counter because of your undo haste this morning," he lightly chastised. "Would you like me to purchase you something while I am up?"

I shook my head and watched him join the line to get lunch. I wanted to apologize, but knew that would only invite him to try to start pushing at me again. Talking about the Volturi would get us nowhere. They were coming to kill me. At this point, I was more interested in coming up with a plan where I offered myself up in return for sparing the lives of my family. Maybe if Aro got me that would be enough for him? But, even as I considered it, I knew my family would never go for it.

"What I do on my own time is none of your concern," Emma said, glaring daggers at Derek as they both plopped down at the table. Derek tried to sit next to Emma, but she shoved his lunch away, making it plain she preferred him to sit on the other side of the table. Thus, he took a place on one side of me. "I'm not stupid, Emma," he said. "I saw his car out in front of your house just yesterday."

Emma shrugged and began unpacking her lunch. "You saw Ryan Schmidt's car in front of my house. So what?"

"He's dating Kelsey Jenkins. I know she's away at college, but they're still together."

"So?"

I rolled my eyes, unable to believe these two were still beating around the bush about their feelings. It was too much.

Derek flipped open the top of a chocolate pudding and dug in. "You're my friend, Emma. I don't want to see you hurt."

"And how exactly am I going to get hurt here?"

"Ryan Schmidt's a playboy and you're a . . . a . . ."

"A what, Derek?" Emma retorted. "A nerd? A nobody? If you have to know, he's not dating me. I'm tutoring him, you idiot." She threw a fat, deformed Cheetoh at his head. Unfortunately, the flying orange puff arced too high and flew at the returning Nahuel instead, who easily dodged it.

"Sorry, Nahuel. I was aiming for Derek," Emma grumbled.

"Is there a problem?" Nahuel asked, setting his tray on the table. He looked curiously at each of our faces before slipping into his seat on the other side of me.

"Besides the fact that Derek Martin is a jerk?" Emma returned, popping the top on her soda. "Nope. None that I can think of." She took a derisive swig before concentrating on her turkey sandwich.

Derek, instead of being angry at this, actually seemed relieved. "You're only tutoring Ryan?"

"Is your ego so inflated that you've become deaf?" she asked.

"Tutoring? Really?" he said, confused. "But, Nessie—"

I swiftly remembered how I'd misled him. "Looks like I was mistaken," I announced with a small smile.

Derek narrowed his gaze at me, seemingly more than aware of the fact that I'd meddled. I shrugged at him, unapologetically. (I was only sorry it hadn't worked.)

"What about Nessie? Mistaken about what?" Emma asked, eyeing the two of us.

"Nothing," Derek replied. "Tutor or not, stay away from Ryan, Emma. You deserve better."

Their eyes met and there was a moment when I thought all of this ridiculous teen angst was over, that they were going to actually be honest about their feelings. Unfortunately, this was about the time that one of Derek's buddies, Joe Thomason, and his raven-haired girlfriend, Kyla King, the biggest busybody in the whole high school, snagged places next to him.

Emma secretly calls Kyla "the petite, preppy princess" because she carries herself like royalty and had the power to instantly make every girl within a six-block radius feel gangly, clumsy, and fat. (Personally, I just call her irritating.) Eyeing the silver eyed beauty—whose main hobby seemed to consist of lightly popping people on the arm and saying, "You're so silly!"—I realized that's all I'd ever felt in Kyla's presence . . . irritation. She was head cheerleader, had been voted senior with the best smile for the upcoming yearbook, and considered herself best friends with everyone she perceived to be of the same class as she. On more than one occasion, I'd told Emma that the only power Kyla's ever truly had over any girl was the one she gave her. But, I'm pretty sure Emma's never believed me.

Kyla and Joe pulled Derek into a discussion about their upcoming plans to rent a limo for prom, which would take place in only a few weeks at the end of February. Derek, after a sweeping glance at Emma, promptly turned away from her. Kyla took this all in with a careful eye before returning to her conversation. A spasm of pain ricochet over Emma's features, and I recognized it for what it was. Deep longing for something you believe you'll never have.

I rolled my eyes. Derek and Emma were the most idiotic humans in the world. They both had what they wanted within their grasps and instead of reaching out for it, they let fear keep them from happiness.

"You look like you're feeling better, Nessie," Emma said, trying to sound more pleasant that she obviously felt. She looked down at the empty space in front of me. "Aren't you eating?"

"I'm fine," I remarked. "Not hungry."

"Good idea, Nessie," Kyla advised, patting her slender frame in earnest. "I'm on celery and water only for the next two weeks. Oh, what we girls do to fit into the perfect prom dress!"

Nahuel frowned and set an apple in front of me. "Nutrition is important. Please eat," he said, taking a large bite out of his pepperoni pizza slice. His eyes closed briefly in delight. Over his months spent with us, Nahuel had developed quite an obsession with pizza. He'd declared on more than one occasion that it was better than blood. (He meant animal blood, of course. When he'd first gotten here, it had taken quite a lot of convincing from Carlisle to get him to abstain from drinking human blood—as he always had. After trying animal blood the first time, he'd decided to eat only human food until he could make it back to his beloved forest. Esme, Alice, and Rosalie had helped in this endeavor by making him all kinds of savory meals. Pepperoni pizza had quickly become his favorite. Personally, I think he's crazy. Animal blood trumps human food every time.)

Instead of wasting time arguing with Nahuel about ordering me to eat (and because the idea of appearing to be like Kyla in any way gave me the creeps), I picked up the fruit and took a bite.

"So, who are you going to prom with, Nessie?" Kyla asked as she reached over to snag Derek's bag of potato chips. _(So much for that diet.)_

"Hadn't really thought about it." _(Who has time to think about prom when your days are numbered?)_

"We thought you might go out with Derek again," she said, nudging Derek with her scrawny elbow. "You guys made a beautiful couple at Winter Formal. By the way, you never did tell me where you got your dress, Nessie. You promised you would, remember?" She laughed like she was one of those overly happy teens on those stupid tampon commercials.

My eyes flew to Emma just in time to see her expression fall—something Kyla noticed as well. I looked over to Derek to see how he would handle this.

"Nessie has a boyfriend," he declared, taking the bag of chips out of Kyla's hands. "He doesn't go to school here, but she'll probably be going to prom with him."

"Boyfriend? Nessie, you've been keeping secrets!" she admonished. "We have history together next. You simply have to tell me everything about this new man of yours." Without waiting for a response from me, she flipped the end of her black ponytail over her shoulder and turned back to Derek, "You should probably go with Veronica Moore, Derek. She just broke up with Chad Weathersbee and is said to have _quite_ a thing for you. I know she's just a sophomore, but I'm grooming her to be the next head cheerleader. She'd be a good, solid match for you, and you both could double with Joe and I in the limo. Wouldn't that be great? Nessie! You must come too! Oh, and what about you, Nahuel? Who are you going with?" Kyla jabbered on.

Just as I was considering throwing one of Emma's Cheetohs at Kyla's head (_I_ certainly won't miss), Nahuel took the reins of the conversation. And, when he finally answered the question posed to him, I wasn't the only one at the table who was surprised. But, I was certainly the first to recognize the sheer brilliance of his plan.

"Actually, Kyla," he said, "I was going to ask Emma."


	41. A Matter Of Trust

**Chapter Forty-One: A Matter of Trust**

"Oh, Nahuel, don't be silly!" Kyla's once scintillating voice was reduced to a squeak. She pointed a well-manicured finger at Emma at the end of the table as if my friend were a mangy, stray dog begging for a scrap. "You can't mean _her_."

"Shut up, Kyla," Derek ordered.

Nahuel's teakwood eyes stared intently at Emma, the short, spectacled brunette across from him, as though she were the goddess Aphrodite in human form. "Emma, would you do me the great honor of accompanying me to the prom?"

Emma's jaw dropped open so wide that I thought it might actually brush the table. She blinked, pushed her glasses up the bridge of her freckled nose, and continued to gaze at Nahuel as if he were speaking in Russian. As for me, I sat there, completely enthralled at the sheer artistry of Nahuel's meddling skills. _(Why didn't I think of this?)_

"She's not going with you," Derek uttered in outrage.

Nahuel cast a quick glance at him. "Why not?" he inquired, tilting his head slightly to the side as if he were more curious than anything else. Derek had no reply. Instead, his eyes dropped to the table in front of him. Emma watched him for a while, waiting for him to say something. But, he didn't.

The silence around the table was finally broken by Kyla, who said, "Come on, Nahuel. I know you're new here and all, but you can certainly do better than her. I know for a fact that Felicia Sherman has had her eye on you. She's much prettier than—"

Nahuel held up a hand to interrupt, his attention back on Emma. "Thank you, but I cannot imagine anything more beautiful than the sight I now behold. Emma, what is your answer?"

"No," Derek ground out, jumping to his feet. His hands were fisted at his sides.

Emma finally spoke, but it wasn't to Nahuel. It was to Derek. "Why?" she demanded, a silent tear cutting its way down her cheek. "Am I not good enough for him either?"

Her voice rose so high that the once-noisy cafeteria became as mute as a tomb, every eye glued on the drama unfolding at our table.

Blood drained out of Derek's face until he was paler than my father. "N-n-no, of course not," he sputtered.

"Then why?" she pushed.

_C'mon! Just say it. Just tell her what you want_, I mutely urged, desperate to see someone get their happy ending here. (Especially since I'm fairly confident I'm not getting mine.) Derek darted glances from Emma to Nahuel and then back to Emma. "He. . . he. . ."

I looked over at my fellow half-vampire, noting that he seemed as anxious about these proceedings as I was.

Emma gazed at Derek for a long time, waiting for him to say something, anything. But, as his silence stretched on, she seemed to realize he wasn't ever going to finish. The defeated look on her face was too much for me to take. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment. I saw the spasm of pain roll over her features again. Taking a deep breath, she opened her eyes and turned back to Nahuel.

"Nahuel," she said, "if you meant what you said, I would be glad to accept—"

"No, Emma! You can't go with him because . . ." Derek swallowed hard. "Because I. . . I love you."

Kyla actually fell out of her seat. No one paid attention to her floundering around on the tile floor, however. No, everyone's focus was strictly on Emma and Derek.

"What?" Emma faintly whispered, her hand coming up to cover her mouth. "What did you say?"

Derek straightened to his full height and came around the table to stand in front of his ladylove. "I know I'm not smart enough for you and you're going to Stanford and all. But, it doesn't change anything. I still love you. I still want to be with you."

"You love . . . me?" Emma trembled under the weight of his sentiment. "But, I'm a nerd. H-h-how is that possible?"

"How could I not love you? You're beautiful, you're smart, you argue with me, and you make me laugh. You're the first thing I think of when I wake up, and the last thing I think about before I go to bed."

"I love you, too."

Derek's face melted into a dopey, lovesick grin. "Really?"

Emma nodded. "Really!" And, with that, she threw herself into his arms, peppering Derek in a smattering of random, awkward kisses. He laughed, took her face in his hands, and planted a kiss on her that would have made Shakespeare blush.

I got to my feet and started clapping. Nahuel immediately joined me, and before long, the entire cafeteria had burst into a loud, riotous applause. Kyla was the only one not thrilled.

"But, Derek, you can't. She's nothing but a—" she said.

I shot her a glare. "One more word, Kyla, and I'll snap you like the twig you are," I threatened before darting my attention back to the lovers in front of me. I was not going to have this perfect moment ruined.

"Now there's that spirit I was talking about," Nahuel commented with a knowing grin.

"Oh, shut up," I muttered.

**—D—**

"It's nice to see you starting to come back to yourself, Nessie. We've all been very worried about you."

I pulled out of the parking lot of the school, heading home. "Nahuel, we've been through this. Talking about my impending death won't make it go away."

"What makes you so sure you will die? Alice's visions are solely dependent upon people's decisions. Maybe, there is a decision you can make which will change all of our futures. Have you considered that?"

My fingers tightened around the steering wheel until my knuckles were whiter than bone. "And maybe a decision I'll make will mean death for everyone I love. Have you considered _that_?"

"But not trying is as good as helping the Volturi to kill you. Surely you are interested in finding a way to save your life?"

I closed my eyes briefly against the swell of anger. Opening them again, I focused on the road in front of me. "The only thing I'm interested in is saving my family. If you have an idea on how to do that, I'm all ears. Otherwise, just stop talking because I don't want to hear it."

I bumped up the volume on the radio, emphasizing my need to close this subject. Just as quickly, he reached over and flipped the radio off. "What if I told you that I know why you cannot send your strength to Jacob? Would that entice you to listen to me?"

Luckily, I was on an old, country backroad by the time he said this to me. I slammed on the brakes, swerved to the side of the road, and looked at him. "What are you talking about?"

"I have been observing you and Jacob for as long as I have been here. This imprinting you share is fascinating and unlike anything I have ever seen in my almost two centuries of life. It moves, changes, and breathes between you, almost like it is a third person. But, I do not believe that is how it is supposed to be."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I have also observed Seth and Anna when they were here. Their imprinting has made them almost one person at times. They speak and behave like two halves of the same whole. You and Jacob, however, act more like you are participants in a three-legged race. You are connected, yes. But, you are not one, fluid person."

"I've accepted the imprinting, Nahuel. There's nothing more I can do. Maybe it's different between Jake and I because I'm a hybrid and he's a werewolf. Did you think of that?"

"Yes," he said with a slow nod. "I have considered this, but I still believe there is a step you both have not yet taken. This is why you cannot send him your strength."

"But he can send me his. So, what you're really saying is that there is something I haven't done yet, right? I'm to blame here?"

"This is not about assigning blame, Nessie. This is about getting you to the place you are supposed to be. You must take this final step. I believe it is the key to saving all of our lives."

I looked at Nahuel, really looked at him. His black hair, braided carefully down his back; the high bone structure of his cheeks; his nose, proud and wide; his eyes, such an unusual color; and his sepia-toned hand, reaching out to take mine. I'd been thinking about all of the deaths that would take place so soon, but I hadn't considered Nahuel. Not only would Nahuel die with the rest of us—which was sad enough—but, there were also all of the deaths he'd already experienced to consider. He'd come to help us, and he had. So much. A slight fissure of hope slithered through me so suddenly that I almost didn't recognize it for what it was.

"You think I can save us?"

"I think you and Jacob can save us all. I think this is why you were imprinted on each other, why Jacob initially became so close to Bella, and why you were even born to Bella and Edward. Together, you and Jacob would be an invincible weapon. This is your fate, Nessie. You have only to accept it."

"But I've already accepted Jake. I love him. I choose him."

He smiled at me. "Yes, but there is more needed here than just that."

"Well, the only way we could get closer is for us to have se—" I immediately flushed, unable to believe what I was about to say as well as to whom. "Nevermind."

Nahuel chuckled. "I do not think that is what is required here. The true obstacle is a lot more complicated than mere physical matters."

"OK," I said, not able to fathom how much I was clinging to this idea.

What if he was right? What if Jacob and I were the answer to all of this? I'd always considered the imprinting a way of slowing down the Volturi. But us as a weapon? Was it even possible? The idea that there was more to experience from the imprinting wasn't something I could even begin to imagine, but, at the same time, it made sense. Hadn't it felt like there was something missing the last time I thought I'd accepted the imprinting? What if that was my instinct telling me what Nahuel was telling me now?

The mere concept of being able to save those I loved made me giddy with relief. Yet, this giddiness was tempered with the knowledge that there was still more to be done before we could get to that.

"What do I need to do?"

Nahuel took a deep breath before he answered me. "You have to trust Jacob."

"I do trust Jacob," I said, a little offended that Nahuel would think I didn't.

"You and I are so similar, Nessie. Half-vampires, by nature, are not trusting creatures. Why would we be? After all, we have the best and the worst of two noble races flowing through our veins. Vampires, whose every attribute is conceived with the intent to draw in and deceive their prey. Their senses are always on alert, anticipating attacks and planning the best avenue to strike. Their main instinct is that of survival at any price. Trust is not second nature to a vampire. Then, there are humans. They have a great capacity to love, but this is tempered with a history of betrayal, lies, and deception. Humans, like vampires, will do anything to survive. And, while they are more likely to trust than their blood-thirsty counterparts, this trust, once lost, is never fully regained."

"But, I trust Jacob."

"Do you? Feel within yourself and see if this is true. I know of your story, little one. I know your family kept the truth of the imprinting from you during your childhood."

"To protect me," I said, just in case he thought I had some residual issue with that.

"My point is that on some level you must have felt betrayed. The life you had once led was not real. To know you were bred for a specific purpose over which you have no control can be frustrating and painful. I, too, know this feeling. My father only wished to create me for his experiments. He held no real affection for me, my mother, or my sisters. He cared only for science and the pursuit of knowledge. And, even as my aunt has always been devoted to me, I still felt the loss of my father's love keenly. He tried many times to generate a relationship between us, but I always knew it was only for the benefit of his experiments, nothing more. I never trusted him. In fact, I pushed myself to develop relationships with my sisters in order to try to protect them from him. Jennifer especially."

He stared out the window of the car as he spoke and I could tell he was thinking of her. My heart ached for him and all he'd suffered. Nahuel finally turned back to me, his face so solemn. "Until I came here, there was really only one person in my life I trusted. Huilen, my aunt. But, being a part of this family—being as accepted as you all have made me feel—I have learned to trust so much more than I ever thought possible. You don't trust Jacob. If you did, you would share your burdens with him. You keep him at arm's length no matter what you struggle with. It is only when you have reached a decision that you let him in. I have seen you do it too many times to not recognize it. I, also, have done this all of my life.

"But, Nessie, you cannot continue in this manner. Loving relationships are not meant to operate thus. Nor is the imprinting. It is not enough to vocally choose Jacob or to simply love him. You must trust him, you must give him everything you are and accept everything he is in return. Good and bad. Strengths and weaknesses. You must acknowledge your shortcomings as well as his. You must do this with your whole heart and without holding anything back. Jacob, also, must give himself to you wholly. It is the only way. They say love is a leap. But, to my mind, it is not. No, that part is easy. It is the trusting part of love that is the true leap, and this, Nessie, is the leap you must take."

I nodded to let him know I heard him. My mind raced with this knowledge, trying to process it all. Instinctively, I knew he was right. Maybe I didn't trust Jake as much as I'd assumed I did. Maybe, after I'd found out about the imprinting, I'd begun to withhold myself from him. I knew it was a protective instinct on my part. I could remember all the times I'd continued to do it. First, at the beginning of our courtship and even at Christmas when he'd proposed. I'd thought my independent nature was to blame, but now knew that wasn't all of it. But, could I do this? _Could I blindly give myself over to Jacob's care? Would he do the same for me?_

My cell phone rang, dragging me from my thoughts. It was Dad.

"Nessie, where are you? You should have been home ten minutes ago."

"Nahuel and I were talking, Dad. We're fine. I'm sorry to worry you needlessly. We'll be there soon."

"Come now," he curtly said in a tone I'd never heard him use before.

"Dad," I asked, starting up the engine of the car. "What's wrong?"

"Something's happened with Alice."

In the background, I heard my aunt cry out just before the line went dead.


	42. Brand New Threat, Same Old Fears

**Chapter Forty-Two: Brand New Threat; Same Old Fears**

The front door bounced off the wall as Nahuel and I dashed into the house. "What is it? What's happened?" Panic laced my every word.

Alice was perched on the edge of the couch, surrounding by the entire family. And, even though I knew my main focus should be Alice, I couldn't help but wonder why they were all home early from their respective jobs. It was barely four in the afternoon.

Carlisle's voice roused me from my errant thoughts. "Alice has had another vision. She saw Rosalie struggling against an unknown vampire."

"Is this something that happens when the Volturi come?"

"No," Alice said, her eyes blank in that way that I could tell she was searching for more clues. "This vampire is alone. Black hair. Short in stature. I can't see her face. Everything gets blurry as she and Rosalie are about to fight and then the vision just blanks out." She came back to herself on the sofa, her petite, too-white hands clenching and unclenching in her lap. "I can only assume Jake became involved at that point because that's what happens whenever he shows up."

She glared in his direction as if this was something he was doing on purpose. "And, as hard as I've tried, I'm still unable to see anything more about the coming fight with the Volturi. But, I can feel that they _are_ still coming. Their intent in that is crystal clear. I just don't know what else they're planning." Her fist crashed down on the side of couch. The wooden arm, underneath all of the peach padding, splintered and collapsed, hanging loosely from the rest of the sofa like a broken bone hanging from muscle.

"Nobody expects you to see everything, Alice," Esme murmured, reaching over to put a consolatory hand on her daughter's shoulder.

Jacob left his place at the side of the couch to stand with me, his arm snaked around my waist to draw me closer to him. As his touch usually ended up distracting me, my first instinct was to jerk away and demand more answers from Alice, but the previous talk with Nahuel stopped me. What if my pulling away was part of the trust thing he'd been talking about? A little unsure, I leaned into Jake's body, surprised at the intense sense of security that overtook me through our bond. The panic inside of me lessened a bit and I found I could think a little better. Moreover, I could tell the feel of me against him had calmed Jake as well.

"When does it happen? Were you able to tell?" Mom said.

"Soon," Alice answered. "Within the next few days is all I know."

"Is she from the Volturi? Perhaps another scout they've sent?" Rosalie suggested.

"I don't know. I can't tell. I don't recognize her. But, then again, I didn't get to see all that much of her," Alice said. Her expression went blank again as she mentally sought more answers. I looked over at Dad, his eyes were closed as he concentrated on whatever Alice was thinking and seeing, combing for more details.

"We'll set up a schedule of sentry duty so we'll be able to intercept any intruders," Jasper said. "We'll assign teams. When not on duty, everyone remains inside the house. Call in sick or quit if you have to, but nobody leaves the compound until this vampire is found and neutralized."

"Yes, Jasper, you're right. Nessie, you'll remain home from school. We'll say you have the flu or something. Nahuel too," Mom added, I could see her brain racing as she tried to think of what else needed to be handled.

I didn't argue because she and Jasper were right. Whatever this new threat was, we needed everyone here to prepare for it. There was nothing more important.

"Nahuel, you will sleep in the house tonight," Carlisle ordered. "I know you are more comfortable in the woods, but it will be safer inside with us. Jacob, you as well. Nobody goes anywhere alone, even within the bounds of our property. Those who haven't hunted recently will go now. All others will remain here."

Nahuel and Jacob nodded but said nothing. Jasper, Alice, Emmett, and Rosalie left within the hour to hunt. Carlisle quickly excused himself to make a few phone calls from his office to cover his shifts for the next few days. Esme pulled Nahuel with her into the kitchen, urging him to help her prepare dinner for those could eat. "Rosalie made a coconut cream pie. It will be something new for you to try," she said, eyeing us all before she pulled Nahuel from the room.

I barely paid attention to any of this as I disentangled myself from Jake and started pacing. For me, this new threat was the straw that broke the proverbial camel's back. The anger that had been simmering just below the surface all day now roared through me unabated. The Volturi were just going to keep coming after us until we were all dead. I knew that as sure as I knew my own name. My fury had no bounds. If Aro himself had been standing in front of me in that moment, I felt as though I could have cheerfully dismembered him with a few flicks of my fingers.

My brain replayed everything I'd heard from Alice, trying to deduce who this intruder could possibly be. Whoever she was, she had to be connected to the Volturi. But why would they send a stranger when they'd already decided to come themselves? None of it made any logical sense, but, then again, very little that coven did made any real sense to me these days. I only knew I wanted each one of their heads on a pike. Now, more than ever, it was imperative that I figure out what was hindering me from sending my strength to Jake. Maybe it had to do with trust, as Nahuel had said. Or maybe it didn't. But, whatever my problem was, I had to get past it. There had to be a way to save my family, and I was going to find it. _If I die, so be it._

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Dad flinch and knew he'd just heard that particular thought. His disapproval was palpable. I moved toward the stairs, intent on escaping to the privacy in my room to think things out.

"Nessie, stay," Mom tersely said. "We need to talk."

I halted and looked back over my shoulder. Dad stood at one end of the broken couch next to my mother, holding her hand as though they were fused together. Jake was across from me, adjacent from my parents. The three of them stared me down, identical expressions of worry glinting off them like light off a mirror. Warning bells rang in my head. Their stances communicated their intention to gang up on me about something, which immediately put me on the defensive. I was also struck by a serious case of _deja vu. _All of this seemed so eerily similar to the day they'd first told me about the imprinting. I felt through the bond for Jake, trying to sense his emotions so I could figure out what this was about. All I could pick up from him was a fierce amount of protectiveness and determination.

I swiveled to face them down. "Talk? About what?"

"You're actions of the last few weeks. You're on a path of self-destruction, and I won't have it. Believe me, I've been there before, and I recognize the signs," Mom declared.

Before I could respond, Jake was at my side, enveloping my hand in his. He was facing down my parents with me. (Even though his highhandedness was annoying, my heart still melted a little bit.) I looked at him, but he kept his attention firmly on my parents as he said, "I told you. She's better. More like herself. Anyone can see that. And, with all that's happened today, I won't stand for her being upset further by—"

Sparks all but flew from Mom's golden eyes as she glared at him. "You might love Renesmee, Jacob Black, but I'm her mother. I nearly died to bring her into this world. Don't get in my way. Motherhood trumps imprinting." She took a menacing step toward him, but Dad squeezed her hand and kept her at his side. "Jacob, I understand your concerns here," Dad explained, "but it's important that we speak to our daughter before this goes any further. There are things she does not fully comprehend. We have abided by your advice to let Nessie be for as long as we can afford to do so."

I was taken aback. Of my parents, my father had suddenly become the calm, reasonable one. _(Um, okay. This is weird and probably not a good sign of how my night is going to proceed.)_

Jake was not deterred by my father's rationality. In fact, it only made him more determined. "No. Leave her alone."

Mom growled, "She's needs to listen to us, Jake."

"She's getting better, Bella."

"_She's_ still in the room and can speak for herself," I clipped. My words silenced them all.

I bit back my anger, trying not to let the fact that I was being treated like a kid again get to me. Mom and Dad were my parents. It was clear that no matter how old I got, they were always going to treat me like a child because that's what all I'll ever be to them—their child. _(Yeah, for better or worse, I'm making my peace with that one.) _And, as usual, Jake was taking his protector role way too seriously._ (Looks like I'll have to make my peace with that too.)_

While I was musing my way through these realizations, something else dawned on me. I was beginning to feel like me again—or at least more like the me I'd been a few weeks ago before Alice had her first vision. I sighed, enjoying the brief respite from the yoke of all that depression and anger I'd been carrying around. They were still there in the shadows taunting me, but at least I had better measure of control over them now.

"So," I continued, "is that why everyone is home early today? What was the plan? Were you going to have a kind of vampire intervention for me or something?"

The look on Dad's face told me my guess was correct.

"Nessie, it doesn't matter what Alice saw happening with the Volturi. You're immortal, and this family is going to do everything in our collective powers to make sure you stay that way," he said.

"You think all of this has just been about me dying? No, it's also knowing that, just by living, I'm going end up being the reason someone I love dies. How do you think that makes me feel? I'm a curse on this family. If it wasn't for me, the Volturi would leave you all alone!"

The second that left my mouth, I knew it was the true reason I'd been so lost, so angry all this time. All of this was my fault. Everything that was going to happen was because of _me_.

"No, Nessie," Mom said, blurring to my side to take my shoulders in her hands. "You're not to blame here. Aro's always been intent on collecting members of our family. It's what he does. It's how he retains his power, by surrounding himself with gifted vampires."

Dad nodded. "It's true. He's wanted Alice and I for quite some time now. And, knowing of your mother's shielding abilities, he wants her as well."

I shook my head. "But, he's left us alone for seven years. It's only because of me that he's coming back now."

Jake ran a thumb lightly over our still clasped hands as he spoke. "He would have come back anyway, darlin'. He was just looking for a reason, and he decided to make this it. It could have just as easily been a million other things."

"He wants me. If I give myself up—"

Dad's calm veneer vanished as he took my face in his hands and made me look at him. "There are no martyrs in this family, Renesmee Cullen! So, you can get rid of any notions you have involving self-sacrifice. It's_ not_ an option. And, in the end, it wouldn't change anything. Aro is coming after this _family_, not just you, and it will be this family as a whole he has to deal with when he gets here."

Mom's head jerked up and down in quick agreement. "You're a Cullen, little nudger. What threatens one of us, threatens all of us. And, we have strengths the Volturi can't even imagine, strengths they'll never be able to have."

"Like what?"

"Like love," Mom replied. "It's love that holds this family together. Aro can't even begin to understand the very concept. Love is the bond he can't break, love is the one thing in this world that is truly immortal, and love is what is going to help us get through this. It will nourish us and strengthen us, even at our darkest hour."

Dad released my face and laid a hand over Mom's on my shoulder as he said, "We have plans in place. We've made adjustments and will continue to make adjustments as Alice gets more information. And she's looking all the time, Nessie. Aro's cunning, but even he can't slip through the cracks of her power forever. He's bound to mess up, and when he does, we'll be ready. We shall succeed." I looked in my father's eyes as he said that, feeling the determination crackling through him like lightning. "You just have to believe it and believe in this family."

I wanted to. Truly. But fear and the harsh realities of the situation wouldn't let me. We were talking about taking out the Volturi, a force that had been ruling the vampire world for more years than any of us had been alive. We were going up against the most powerful coven in existence with all of their knowledge, skills, and might. Most of all, we were facing down Aro, a vampire who never took on a battle he couldn't win.

I looked up at both of them. My behavior of the last two weeks had hurt them immeasurably. I didn't want to add to that. I wanted to provide them with as much comfort as I could, even if I couldn't accept any myself. So I did what I always do when I want to keep things from my parents: I thought about something else.

I thought about how lucky I was to be so loved. I thought about how much I loved them back. I thought about Jake and our bond and how much I wanted things to work out for us. I flooded my mind with every good thought I could think of until a small smile crept across Dad's face. I wasn't sure I'd completely convinced him, but he at least didn't look so concerned anymore. Mom, taking this in, visibly relaxed in response.

In turn, my eyes met each of theirs. "I love you. All of you," I whispered.

Dad kissed my temple, Jake squeezed my hand, and Mom pulled me in for a tender hug. I inhaled the mixture of aromas around me. The wild, pure outdoors smell of Jake, the sweet-scented freesia fragrance of Mom, and the light, honey-lilac mixed with sunshine that was Dad. And, surrounded by these scents I'd known all of my life, I strangely found myself comforted. Not calm, like before. Just comforted. It was amazing.

I took a deep breath, pulling in their combined fragrances, and let it out, feeling an odd kind of confidence building within me. Maybe this plan against the Volturi would work out. Maybe it wouldn't. But, this was my family, and I wasn't going to waste another minute grieving for what hadn't happened yet. I wasn't going to waste another minute letting fear hold me back. I wasn't going to waste another minute, period. I was going to relish this time with them, and, when the Volturi finally came, I was going to stand with my family and fight until I breathed my last.

And, Aro might win. In fact, I was pretty sure he would. He would end me. But my parents were right. Aro couldn't end this love that surrounded me like a soft blanket. So, I put aside all of my plans for how I was going to handle the Volturi, how I was going to work through the obstacles between me and Jake, and the overwhelming emotions I'd been carrying around with me for the last few weeks. I put it all aside, held on to the three people I loved most in the whole world, and basked in the unconditional love they were pouring into every fiber of my being.

No matter what, _nobody_ was gonna take that from me.


	43. The Intruder

**Chapter Forty-Three: The Intruder**

Of course, comforted or not, sleeping that night was a problem.

I lay in my bed for over an hour, staring up at the wavy, white swirls of texture on the ceiling. My brain simply wouldn't shut down long enough for me to drift off. I wasn't really surprised. With all the ups and downs of the day, the plans Mom, Dad, and Jacob had filled me in on, my talk with Nahuel, and everything else, I was too hyped up.

Plus, I missed Jake.

Even though I'd slept alone quite happily for the last seven years, spending last night with him now left me unable to rest alone. (One night, and I'm hooked. I know. I'm pathetic.) Since he and Nahuel were supposed to be sleeping inside the house for the next few nights, I had no idea which of my family's bedrooms he was currently occupying. I closed my eyes, using our connection to pinpoint his exact location. When I had it, I put on my robe, padded over to my door, and peered out into the hallway. It was empty, but I could hear the sounds of the television on downstairs.

I scampered down the hall and stopped in front of the door to Carlisle and Esme's room. I didn't knock. I already knew he was inside. (Besides, I wasn't interested in tipping off anybody within hearing distance.) Slipping inside, I eased the door closed behind me.

The large room had thick, white carpeting and the walls were papered in a soothing gold tone. A richly upholstered cream-colored, Victorian-era chaise lounge took up one corner next to an ornate bookshelf finished in a deep walnut. My eyes were naturally drawn there because the lounge was something I'd relished laying on as a child. It was one of the few pieces Esme loved so much that she usually brought it with her wherever we moved.

"Nessie?"

My attention darted over to Jacob, who had taken up residence right in the middle of the massive four-poster bed in the center of the room. The mound of white pillows he was reclined against as well as the gold duvet covering him from the waist down only made his brown, muscled chest all the more noticeable. I blinked a moment, wonderstruck by the sight of his raw beauty. (You'd think I'd be over it by this point.)

Arching a brow, he gave me a devilish grin. "Something I can do for you?"

_Is he flirting? With everything that's happened so far, he's going to flirt right now? Really?_ My heart skipped a beat in my chest. Before I realized it, I grinned and said, "You comfortable there?"

He gave a lighthearted shrug. "I've had worse."

"Wanna sleep with me?" I bit back a laugh as his body instantly shot up in the bed. _(Oh yeah, buddy. Two people can play at this game.)_

He didn't get out of bed, but his side of our connection flared with desire, telling me just how much he wanted to. Yet, through it all, his outside veneer gave away none of this. No, he continued to sit on the bed, maintaining the very picture of relaxed affability. "You trying to live dangerously, darlin'? What do you think your parents would say about me spending the night in your room?"

"Funny thing about that. Since Mom and Dad took the first shift doing sentry duty with Emmett and Rosalie, they won't be back until the morning. That gives us all night."

Throwing a well-muscled arm behind his head, he settled back against the pillows again like a spider who'd decided to patiently wait for the fly to figure out it was trapped. "Well, I'm pretty cozy right here. Maybe _you_ should sleep with _me_." He had the audacity to pat the side of the bed in invitation.

I laughed at his arrogance. "Jacob, I'm not getting into my grandparent's bed with you."

"I don't know," he said, with a slight drawl to his voice. "This bed's _really_ nice. You might just like it." He crooked a finger at me. "C'mon, Nessie. You know you want to."

A delicious shiver went through me. He knew it. The grin splitting his face made that quite evident. I actually had to hold myself back from approaching the bed. It was ridiculous how much he could affect me. But, affect or not, we weren't sleeping here. I had an ace up my sleeve that was going to turn the tide in my favor. "Papa Carlisle and Mama Esme use that bed. They're vampires. They don't sleep. You getting my drift?"

Jake jumped from the bed like a scalded cat. "Really didn't need that mental picture," he grumbled, adjusting the waistband of his blue pajama bottoms higher from where they had been slung low on his hips.

Zipping over to him, I giggled at his grimace and gave him a quick, consolatory kiss. Stepping back, I looked up into his eyes. "Do you want to stay with me tonight?"

He caressed my cheek. "I always want to be with you."

Lacing his fingers with mine, I tugged him all the way back to my bedroom. Once inside, I removed my robe and turned to face him, trying to ignore how suddenly nervous I was. He took in the little pink cotton nightgown I was wearing with lingering, appreciative eyes. I blushed and started to pull it back on.

"No," he said, reaching over to stop my hands. "You're beautiful, and you're mine. I know we're only sleeping here tonight, but I still want to spend these hours with you in my arms, just like that."

And with that, my nerves and shyness faded away. He took the robe from my fingers and tossed it onto my desk chair. Then, he drew me to the bed. Soon, we were laying together, my cheek resting on his chest and his arms wrapped securely around me. The heat radiating from him was so easy to fall into, and I relaxed. Neither of us spoke for the longest time. Instead we listened to the beats of each other's hearts and enjoyed simply being with each other. I kept my thoughts neutral, intent on maintaining this level of tranquility. I didn't want to consider the Volturi or the coming intruder, I only wanted to be in this moment with the man I loved.

"I talked to Seth earlier. I told him we weren't coming to the wedding."

I nodded against him, but said nothing. It made sense. With Seth and Anna's wedding coming up within a month and everything happening here, going to Washington now would only put them in harm's way. The possibility of us attending had become more and more remote from the moment Constantine attacked me in the field. Now, it was gone completely.

"Seth was disappointed, but understood. He's been arguing with Charlie a lot lately."

My head popped up at that. "Arguing?"

"Yeah, Charlie wants to come here. Seems to think his presence might turn the tide in our favor."

Fear zinged through me. "He can't come here, Jake. They'll kill him."

"I know," he replied, stroking my back soothingly. "He won't. Sue and the rest of them will keep him there—by force if necessary. I talked to Charlie, told him about the coming intruder."

_What?_ I pulled away from him, angry. "Why would you do that? Don't you know by telling him we're going to be attacked any day he's going to want to come even more?"

"Charlie's upset because whenever he talks to anyone here, you all keep telling him everything's fine. He knows danger's coming, but not when or where. You guys keep saying everyone's safe, which makes him want to come here and check for himself. Understanding the danger we're in will help him better grasp how much of a liability he'll be for us. That, in turn, will keep him in Washington. I don't want him slipping away and showing up at our doorstep two seconds before the Volturi do. You know that's something he'd do, Nessie. Just trust me."

That last sentence hit me like a slap. Was this what Nahuel meant? Was this one of those instances where I didn't trust Jacob? If so, how do I get past this? I didn't think I had it in me to just blindly trust anyone. Maybe it was because the truth of the imprinting had been kept from me or maybe it was just because I was half-vampire. Maybe, it was a mixture of both of those things. But, whatever it was, I needed to get past it—and quick.

"Nessie?" Jake prodded. "Are you still angry about me telling Charlie? I could—"

"No, Jake. It's fine. You were right to do what you did. Charlie can be hot-headed and willful. He would have tried to come otherwise." I settled back in my original position, resting my head against his palpitating heart. "I trust you," I said, wanting to him to hear the words even if I wasn't sure how much I meant them.

Jake's arm slid over my waist, pulling me tighter against him. "Promise me something."

I looked up at him. "What?"

"Don't ever leave me again. Whatever happens, we'll get through it. But you can't leave me. Emotionally zoning out like you did, I can't handle that." The look in his eyes was so tormented.

Guilt washed through me. I knew from last night how much hell I'd put him through with my depression, but having him saying it out loud was almost too much for me to hear. I cupped his cheek. "I'm sorry for that. I—"

"You don't have to explain, Nessie. Just promise you won't shut me out again. I can deal with anything but that."

I smiled wanly, sensing his pain as acutely as my own. "I promise," I said, lying against his chest once more. "Trust me."

He didn't say anything, just drew ambiguous patterns on my shoulders with his finger. But, I could feel through our bond how much he was holding himself back. He was angry, hurt, and uneasy. It wasn't exactly that he thought I didn't mean what I'd said. Instead, it felt like he was merely waiting for the other shoe to drop.

I would have laughed at the irony of this situation, but it wasn't the least bit funny. Jacob didn't fully trust me either. I wasn't surprised—not with all I'd put him through. But, it still hurt. I sighed. Looks like Nahuel was right, after all. Would we be able to overcome this? I didn't know the answer right then. But, I did know one thing.

We had to try.

—**D—**

The next two days passed in a blur of activity. Sentry duty shifts rotated every eight hours. Jake, Nahuel, and I took our turns like everyone else. (Several people had balked at me participating—chief among them Jacob—but after I reminded them about the whole "united we stand" speech delivered to me by Mom and Dad, they stopped protesting. I did notice, however, that Alice's vision had clearly seen the intruder coming at night and I was always given the daytime shifts. Still, as they were letting me take part, I didn't push it.)

When I wasn't sleeping or guarding the perimeter of our compound, I trained. My weeks without it had left me a little rusty, but, as I was a half-vampire with implacable reflexes and a superb memory, it didn't take me long to get back on the proverbial horse.

It struck me as odd that, given the fact that Jake and I didn't completely trust each other, he could still send his strength to me while I was unable to send him anything. It made no sense. When I brought this up to Nahuel, he wasn't much help.

"Maybe he trusts you more than you trust him."

_What is that even supposed to mean?_ After delivering his somewhat cryptic statement, however, my fellow half-vampire unceremoniously left me standing on the porch and went inside to eat dinner. (Nahuel had discovered another favorite food: Lasagna.) I tried to make myself trust Jake by saying it aloud whenever I was alone (which wasn't often). But, it was easier said than done.

The third night darkened before us. Rosalie, Dad, Mom, and Emmett had just taken their shift. All of the rest of us were inside pretending to do other things, but really listening for activity outside. We were pretty sure this was the night the intruder was to come. Jasper had argued that we should all be out there, but Dad reminded him that four vampires could certainly take care of one. Besides, if help was needed, we'd certainly be able to hear a scuffle from inside. (Personally, I think this was just a way to keep me inside, but I didn't see the point of arguing.)

Nahuel had been acting antsy all day. It was as if he had an itch he couldn't scratch or there something innate that left him uneasy. He fidgeted constantly. (Note: Half-vampires rarely fidget. When we're impatient or nervous about something, we have a tendency to become as still as statues, like vampires.)

"Nahuel, what's wrong?" I asked.

He considered this carefully before speaking. "I am not sure. I only know something will happen tonight. Someone is definitely coming."

_Is he becoming psychic now? Is this something else half-vampires experience as they age?_ (I hope not. I have enough issues with the powers I already have.)

Nahuel shook his head, clearly irritated that he didn't know more. "It is strange, this feeling. I cannot begin to adequately describe it." He got up from the couch. "Mayhap it is because I have been cooped up in this house too long. I confess I am not used to remaining indoors this much," he said, walking into the dining room where Carlisle, Jasper, and Alice were working together trying to squeeze out more details about our coming intruder. Jake and I immediately followed behind.

"Carlisle." Carlisle looked up as Nahuel continued, "I will take a turn with Edward, Bella and the others. I cannot sit in this house any longer. I feel too hemmed in."

"Of course," Carlisle replied. "We understand. Edward will know you are coming."

"Be safe and don't stay out too long," Esme said, peeking out from the kitchen. "Dinner will be ready soon. I made pizza."

Nahuel nodded and took off out the door. I wanted to go with him, but knew there was no way Carlisle and the others would be so easy to let me hurl myself into danger. Nahuel's immense strength and age made him more than a match for any vampire.

Jake took me by the hand and tugged me back into the living room. We sat on the couch, holding hands while Jacob flipped through the channels on the television. I'd spent nearly every minute of the last few days at his side, and it still didn't seem like enough. I idly wondered if it was the imprinting making me feel that way or if it was simply how I felt. Our time together extended to include him sleeping in my room each night. This was not something my father especially approved of. But, as he was easily able to see how calmer I was with Jacob and could read my mind to tell how stubborn I was going to be about this, he hadn't said anything. (Plus, he knew there wasn't anything going on but sleep.) The rest of my family seemed to accept this change of circumstances as an inevitable next step of my relationship with Jake. (Alice had even asked if I'd changed my mind about getting married, but I shut her up quick about that one.)

Jasper was the first one to pick up that something was wrong. Maybe he felt the violent emotions from those outside or maybe he'd been listening and waiting. I wasn't sure. All I knew was one minute I'd been coming into the dining room to eat the dinner Esme had set before me and the next Jasper had shot to his feet.

Carlisle, Esme, and Alice were the next to react. Then, I heard it. The signs of a struggle happening outside. Rosalie's scream. Without a word, we all raced from the house. Behind me, I heard the rip of clothes and knew Jake had changed to his wolf form. Before I had time to take a breath, I felt Jake's strength surge through me like a ray of sunshine. I adjusted the weight of it as I ran, compartmentalizing my brain to concentrate on holding the connection with Jacob while focusing on what was happening in front of me.

Jasper, Alice, Esme, and Carlise zoomed in front of Jacob and me, but we weren't far behind. We made it to the edge of the field, knowing from Alice's vision as well as the stranger's scent that this was where the danger was. My nostrils flared at the smell. There was something vaguely familiar about it, but I didn't stop to process that. There was too much going on.

The first thing I saw was my father holding Rosalie back, telling her not to attack. Mom and Emmett had obviously just run up themselves as they were standing off to the side. Then, I noticed Nahuel was across from all of them with his back to the intruder, almost as if he were protecting her from us. _Huh? What is he doing?_

"What happened?" Carlisle asked. I fell in behind him just seconds before Jake put himself between me and everything else.

"There is no danger. We were mistaken. Calm yourselves," Nahuel said.

Before I could begin to figure out what he meant by that, Jasper demanded, "What's she doing here, Nahuel? What's going on?"

"She means no harm," Nahuel replied. "She's here for me."

When the woman stepped out from behind Nahuel's back, I knew immediately who she was. Moreover, I now understood the familiarity of her scent. I'd been around her before. Even though I knew my family recognized her too, the tension in our group didn't fade. It was obvious that they weren't sure what trouble she might have brought with her. Her appearance here, after all, could not be a good thing. (Vampires don't trust easily—especially other vampires they don't know that well.) All the same, it was Carlisle who finally remembered his manners and acknowledged our new visitor.

"Hello, Huilen," he said.


	44. Catalyst

**Chapter Forty-Four: Catalyst**

If it were possible for a vampire to be exhausted, that's how I would have described Huilen. Her thin face was drawn and haggard, leaves and bits of twig were snarled in her hair, dirt streaked her pale, olive-toned cheeks, and her clothing was torn and muddy.

"I've been traveling for some time," she said before slumping into a seat at our dining room table.

Sitting next to her, Nahuel clasped her hand. As she half-smiled in response, it suddenly struck me that, even though Huilen was his biological aunt and had raised him from birth, Nahuel looked more like her older brother. If I didn't know better, I would have thought Huilen was barely seventeen. It was only her black, soulful eyes that suggested her true age and her true nature. I absentmindedly wondered whether someone would one day look at me and consider me older than my parents. I didn't linger on it. I already appeared too old to logically be their child anyway. (Plus, it's not like Carlisle and Esme look like anyone's idea of grandparents either.)

"Why have you come? Where is Maysun?' Nahuel said.

"Do not worry," she replied. "Your sister is safe. She stayed with me for a while, but could never feel truly at peace in our forest. She decided to travel back to her mother's homeland in Algeria. She has friends there."

"But, it is not safe for her. There is still danger—"

She gripped his hand tightly to silence him. "It is _you_ who is in danger, my dear one. The Volturi guard came to our forest looking for you."

"What happened? Did they hurt you?" Nahuel frantically scanned her body as if he expected to find bleeding or bruises. (Note: Two things you will never see on a vampire are bleeding wounds and bruises. These come from blood, something vampires do not have traveling through their bodies. Instead, they have venom, a silvery, milky substance that has the power to turn any human into a vampire.)

Huilen slipped her free hand over the top of their joined ones. "Calm yourself. There were only four of them, and they meant me no harm. The leader, one named Jane, wished to converse with you. When I told her you were gone from my side and had been gone for some time, she asked if I knew where. I answered truthfully that I did not." Huilen's eyes closed a moment before opening again. "You were wise to not tell me where you would be. Before long, they left me in peace, but wished me to impart a message to you should you return to my side."

"And what is this message?"

"'Aro wants you, and it is only a matter of time until he has you.' My dear one, I knew instantly I had to find you. You had been gone too long for me to be able to follow your trail. In my panic, I thought you might have returned to your father's home. When I discovered you were not there, I knew you must be with these people. It took me some time, but I finally managed to find you."

"Were you followed?" Rosalie demanded. "Are the Volturi coming even now? My God, you probably led them directly to us!"

"Calm down, Rose," Dad said. "The Volturi visited her quite a while ago. Huilen even waited a few days before she began her journey because she wanted to make sure they were gone from the area."

Jasper concurred. "And, with Demetri, the best tracker in vampire history, the Volturi would hardly need to follow Huilen to find us. No doubt, they already know where we are."

Carlisle stood and paced the room. "Huilen, exactly how long ago did they come? About two weeks?"

"What are you getting at, Carlisle?" Jacob asked.

"That's when the first vision came to me," Alice answered. "That's the point he's trying to make. Right, Carlisle? The Volturi coming here has to do with Nahuel?"

"I don't think it has to do only with Nahuel. I am positive they would have come anyway. But, I do believe they have figured out he is with us and this, in turn, has become the catalyst in their deciding to come here. The timing of Alice's vision would seem to confirm that."

"But, how would they know Nahuel was with us? Why would they assume that?" I asked.

"Was Maysun with you when the Volturi came?" Carlisle asked Huilen.

She nodded. "This, of course, hastened her wish to be away." She turned to look mournfully at her nephew. "I fear she will never return to you, Nahuel. I am sorry for that."

"She will be safer away from us," he murmured, seemingly lost in his own thoughts.

"Maysun's presence with Huilen would prove Nahuel was aware of what Aro had done to Joham and the rest. Where else would a half-vampire go but to us to gain allies against the Volturi?" Carlisle explained. Appearing to sense the direction of Nahuel's thoughts, he put a reassuring hand on the younger man's shoulder. "You are not to blame, son. They would have come after us sooner or later. It is better that we deal with this now."

The clenched fist in Nahuel's lap proved how little comfort Carlisle's words had given.

"We must flee," Huilen urged him. "It is madness to stay."

Nahuel's gaze settled on his clenched fist. "My place is here. The Volturi's day of reckoning is almost upon them, and I shall be on hand to see it carried out. I owe Jennifer that."

"Dying will not bring her back."

His head snapped up as he leveled a frown at Huilen. "And running will not stop the Volturi. It will only delay them for a little while. As Jasper mentioned before, they have a most cunning tracker. You and I would be no match for them by ourselves. We stand a better chance of survival here." His expression softened. "Of course, I cannot speak for you. You must decide your own fate. The Volturi have no reason to harm you. Return to our home. I will join you when—or if—I ever can."

She reached up to pat his cheek. "All you and I have ever had are each other, my dear one. If someone is threatening you, they are threatening me. I will stand with you. My place is wherever you are. It has been my destiny ever since my sister's death."

A long moment passed as everyone absorbed everything we had just learned. Finally, Mom blew out an unneeded breath and said, "So, what do we do now? How does this information affect our plans?"

"Well," Jake said. "At least we now know Nessie isn't the Volturi's only reason for coming here. They also want Nahuel."

"Are we sure they are bent on a path of destruction? Am I naive in thinking they might have other plans for Nahuel and Nessie?" Esme questioned.

Dad seemed to have been thinking along similar lines. "Esme, you might be on to something. I remember when they came shortly after Nessie was born. When Aro saw the wolf packs aligned with us, he briefly considered the idea of acquiring them as pets."

Jacob let out a guttural growl in response, making everyone very aware of his opinion on that.

I snorted. "So, now he wants to add half-vampires to his weird menagerie, too? Aro has an insane collection addiction. He seriously needs to join a twelve-step program."

Emmett's bark of laughter rang throughout the room. "Good to see your sense of humor's back in full effect, niece."

He grinned at me. I grinned back before rolling my eyes in mock disdain. It was nice to be me again, even if it did involve corny jokes. It felt great to laugh again. After these months and months of tension, worry, and training, it reminded me of how normal my life had once been. It also made me yearn for that sense of normalcy again. But, at the same time, it felt stupid to yearn for something I couldn't have.

I pushed all of this away as Carlisle began questioning Huilen about the details surrounding the Volturi guard's visit, trying to glean any new information which might aid us in our impending confrontation. Dad, Mom, Nahuel, and Jasper frequently tossed out questions of their own until Huilen had retold her simple tale at least twenty different times. The rest of us sat there listening, except for Alice, who stared off into space with a large frown. Her face was as expressionless as it usually was when she was "seeing" something. I wondered if she was seeing how Huilen's being here would affect the showdown with the Volturi, if at all.

"What happened after the guard got there?" Dad asked Huilen.

"I've already told you," she said, looking confused and somewhat uneasy.

Dad stared her down. "Not all of it. He needs to know what you've been through, Huilen. He needs to know what they've done."

"I don't know what you mean."

"I can read your thoughts and see the memories you've been trying to hide. I know what Jane did to you."

Nahuel was out of his chair and kneeling beside his aunt in a second. "What are you keeping from me? What have they done to you?"

Huilen closed her eyes again briefly. A flash of a wince crossed her features. I saw that same wince echo on Dad's face and knew she was reliving whatever hell she'd been put through. Finally, she opened her eyes and gazed down at her nephew. If she could have cried, I knew in that moment that she would have. "They did not believe me at first when I told them I did not know where you were. Jane . . . she . . . she felt the need to—as she put it—loosen my tongue."

The olive-toned vampire woman held her head in her hands. "It took her a while to accept that I was telling the truth, that I knew nothing. It was the worst torture I have ever experienced—the power Jane has is deadly, Nahuel. She can make you want to die without ever touching you. Once she discovered I knew nothing about where you were headed, she turned her dark magic on Maysun. Your sister was already so frail. I feared this would be her undoing. Finally, Jane understood that she would learn nothing more with her ministrations and ceased, leaving me to relay Aro's message to you."

Nahuel's jaw was locked as he shot to his feet. Huilen grabbed his arm. "There is nothing you could have done to stop them, dear one."

"If I had been there—"

"They would have done the same to you, and they would have taken you from me. You would be with Aro even now. How would that help any of us? The fates wanted you to be here and so you are. I was glad you were away. I was glad you were safe."

"But Maysun—"

"They have had two opportunities to kill her, opportunities they have not taken. They do not want her. She is safer away from us in Algeria. She is not the child of a singer. She is no threat to them," Huilen explained.

Nahuel crumbled to his knees and laid his head in his aunt's lap. She immediately rubbed his forehead and offered comforting words in a language I didn't know. His soft sobs were muffled against her knees. The rest of us said nothing. Dad put his arms around Mom and held her close. Esme and Carlisle as well as Rosalie and Emmett did pretty much the same. My heart broke for Nahuel as I knew the frustration, fear, powerlessness, and impending sense of doom he was feeling. How many tears had I shed about that? I looked around the room and knew we had all felt this at one time or the other. But, I also knew, I didn't have to be powerless here. I looked over to Jacob. We could be the key to changing all of this.

Jacob enveloped my hand in his. His thumb gently and rhythmically rubbed over my wrist. The delicate chaffing was soothing. I leaned against him, resting my head on his shoulder. He relaxed into me. It was weird that we had the power to calm each other that quickly. I hoped this was a step we were taking in learning to wholeheartedly trust each other. But, as with everything else in my life, I was pretty sure it wasn't going to be this easy.

And, from the looks of things, I had but a few months to work through my trust issues with my boyfriend, get my powers fully working, and learn how to use them to kick some serious Volturi butt. I wondered if that was long enough. Just as quickly, I felt the depression I had been battling back rear its head. Fear soon followed. Without a word, Jake's rubbing started again. Calm returned. I decided to put off worrying about the future right now. I was only going to focus on fixing this trust problem I had. One thing at a time. That was how I was going to conquer all of this. It had to be the way.

Nahuel finally pushed himself away from Huilen and asked her when the last time she'd hunted.

"I cannot remember, dear one. I have thought of nothing but finding you for so long."

"The Cullens do not allow the hunting of humans in their area so as to not bring attention to themselves. They feed only on animal blood. Will you try it?" Nahuel asked.

Huilen grimaced. "Animal blood? Is this how you have been existing?"

"I do not prefer the taste of that. Instead, I have been eating human food with Nessie and Jake. I find I have quite a liking for pizza and lasagna," he announced, proudly.

"You could borrow one of our cars, Huilen and drive out of state to hunt," Carlisle offered. "Or, if you do not know how to drive, Nahuel could take you."

Jake growled. "There's no need for anyone to die when she can simply drink animal blood like everyone else," he ground out.

Carlisle turned on him. "Hunting animals is our practice, Jacob. This family does not force our beliefs on others. Nahuel had another option in eating human food. Huilen does not." His patriarchal tone countenanced no argument. Even Jake had been around us long enough to know that no one crossed Carlisle when he was like this.

Jacob remained silent, but the hardened expression on his face declared his anger just the same.

Huilen's eyes went from Carlisle to Nahuel to Jacob and then back to Nahuel. "I mean to cause no trouble here," she said. "I will try this animal blood. I cannot promise to always drink it, but I will try. And you have my word, Carlisle, that I will hunt no humans in your area. Should my thirst become too much, I shall take you up on your offer of a car. I do not know how to drive, but Nahuel may take me."

Nahuel took her hand in his again and smiled encouragingly.

Huilen smiled back. "I confess that I had heard before that you Cullens existed this way, but I did not know that I truly believed it. I find myself intrigued by this unique concept, Carlisle. Does it satiate your thirst? Can you really live this way?"

Carlisle smiled. "It is by no means easy, Huilen. But, to my mind, it is a better alternative to taking human life."

Emmett added. "To answer your question, it will not satisfy you like human blood does. But, look at it this way, it does meet your dietary needs without the pesky aftertaste of guilt," he put in with a laugh. "We'll go with you, if you like."

Huilen nodded. "I would like that. I have never relished taking human life. I always assumed it was one of the burdens faced by vampires. I never thought there could be another way."

Plans were made to go hunting within the hour. Carlisle headed to the hospital (as he hadn't been there in several days) while it was agreed that Esme, me, and Jake would stay behind. (I had an insane amount of homework to catch up on and another speech due—_I am super excited about that_! Mom had announced that I could return to school tomorrow.)

"Something's wrong with Alice," Jasper suddenly declared, his eyes never leaving her face.

"What is it?" Mom asked them. When no answer was forthcoming, we all immediately turned to Dad, who was no doubt seeing whatever Alice was. He said nothing, his face mirroring the frustration she'd worn before.

I looked back at Alice just as her blank expression faded, signaling that she was coming back to herself.

"What is it? What did you see?" I asked, trying to prepare myself for more devastating news. (I honestly wasn't sure how much more I could take.)

Alice swallowed hard before she answered. "The original vision I had? The one where I see the Volturi coming?"

"Yeah? What about it?" Jake prodded.

"It's gone. I've lost it."


	45. Erased

**Chapter Forty-Five: Erased**

Thankfully, nobody panicked.

I'm not sure if it was because Alice had lost visions before or if these last few, contentious months had left us all too overwrought to panic. But, whatever it was, after Alice's little announcement, we sat around the table to discuss this dilemma calmly.

Unfortunately, though, there was no ready answer.

Plenty of theories were floated to explain the vision blackout. Chief among these was that Jacob's involvement had somehow increased to the point that everything became obscured. However, as nobody was sure how he could become any more involved, that theory was quickly cast aside. The addition of Huilen to our clan was also considered, but, as she is vampire and Alice can see vampires quite easily, this particular theory was also dispelled. Nahuel was likewise put forth as the one who had somehow changed things. This theory was debated the hardest because his presence does actually distort Alice's visions.

"He's certainly done it before," Alice said. "The day Constantine attacked Nessie, I saw him tackle her right before everything went hazy. I could see Nessie was going to be alright, but not exactly what was going on around her. Then, there was what happened when Huilen showed up. I should have known it was Nahuel that was keeping me from seeing things, but I'm so used to the werewolf being the reason everything goes blank that I immediately blamed him. Sorry about that, Jake."

"The werewolf forgives you, Alice," Jacob said with a smile, not the least bit offended.

"The point is that, the longer this goes on, the more I can tell the difference between how Nahuel clouds what I see versus how Jake wipes it away," she explained. "Nahuel, being a half-vampire, makes everything blurry, dark, and indistinct to the point where the vision is there, but it feels like this hulking mass is standing in front of it. When I saw Huilen coming, it was Nahuel jumping between Rosalie and Huilen which made me unable to see Huilen's face. It's taken me a little while to be able to discern the difference because I always assumed Nahuel would be like Nessie."

"How do you mean?" I asked.

"Well, you blur events for me sometimes. I will see things going in one path very clearly and then everything will get fuzzy for no reason. Still, I can always see you—unless Jake's involved, of course. But, the point is that, while I can usually see you, I can't I always see what decision you'll make or how things will end for you. I assumed Nahuel, being a hybrid, would be the same. But, he isn't. In fact, the longer this goes on, the more dissimilar you two affect me. I am not sure why. The only thing I am sure of is that, whatever is going on with my vision now has nothing to do with Nahuel."

This officially put us out of theories.

A desperate thought occurred to me. "What if it's the Volturi?"

All conversation ceased as everyone looked at me. I shrugged and repeated myself. "What if they changed their minds about coming? Wouldn't that make the vision go away?"

Alice was already shaking her head. "Aro deciding not to come would have changed the vision, not make it disappear altogether. No, the Volturi still mean to come here." Her expression went slack as she looked into herself again. "I can see them leaving Volterra soon. I can even see who Aro is bringing with him—everyone, by the way—but I lose it the second they get close. It's like it gets erased in one fail swoop."

"What if Nessie isn't completely off base?" Emmett asked. "What if this is the Volturi's doing? What if they've found some way to obscure Alice's power? Aro already knows how to work through the cracks of her gift. He's been doing a fair job of it these last few months. What if he has a found a way—or someone—who can mess up what she sees? That would be a nice prize for his collection, wouldn't it? Getting a vamp with that kind of power?"

Unfortunately, we didn't have enough evidence to dispel or accept this theory. In the end, Carlisle and Dad decided it was best for the family to continue on preparing for the Volturi's arrival like before until we knew differently. I thought my training was tough—and, believe me, it is—but the crazy amount of time Alice and Carlisle spent together over the next few days working through mental exercises in an attempt to find a way for her to see the vision again left both of them visibly worn and tense.

This wasn't the only bad news. Huilen, it turned out, didn't much care for the taste of animal blood. She called it a few choice words in her native language that I didn't understand, but her distaste was abundantly clear. For the sake of her nephew, she did her best to adapt. Carlisle, on more than one occasion, offered a car for her to travel out of state to hunt, but she contended that she would do her best to adjust until she and Nahuel could return to their home.

"I cannot promise to never drink human blood again, Carlisle. But, everyone here is making a sacrifice to help keep my Nahuel safe from the Volturi. If my drinking the blood of animals is to be my sacrifice, I will willingly make it."

Jake's dislike of Huilen grew by leaps and bounds at time passed. Huilen didn't develop a deep and abiding affection for him either. Instead, she seemed on edge and uncomfortable in his presence. I wasn't surprised. After all, werewolves and vampires are natural mortal enemies. Just because Jake got along so well with my family didn't mean he was going to love every vampire he came across. Huilen's presence also put a stop to my talking to Nahuel about my trust issues with Jake. I'd been hoping he could give me a little more insight in how to fix that particular problem, but Huilen never left his side. They were like conjoined twins without the conjoined part.

I tried talking to the love of my life about our little problem, but he just got irritated.

"You don't trust me? Is that what you're saying?"

"No! I mean, yes, but not like that. I love you, Jacob."

"Then what's the problem?"

I shrugged. "I don't know how to explain it. You feel it too, don't you? You don't trust me either."

He shook his head in dismay and returned to changing the oil in Jasper's black Thunderbird. "How can you say that? I love you, Nessie. I spend every afternoon at your side and every night with you in my arms. We've been happier this last week than we've been in quite a while. Why make problems where there aren't any?"

"If you trust me so much, then why do you keep trying to talk me into staying in the house when it comes time to face down the Volturi?"

I watched in perverse satisfaction as that question jolted him, causing him to accidentally slam the back of his head on the raised hood of Jasper's vintage '55 T-bird. Jacob had spent the last few days not so casually bringing up this crazy idea of his again and again in conversations with me, asking me if I'd thought it over or made a decision. (Personally, I'd been hoping that with all the chaos of these last few weeks he'd forgotten all about it. But, apparently, I was out of luck on that one.)

He rubbed his head and frowned at me. "That has nothing to do with trust and everything to do with trying to ensure your safety."

"Exactly. You don't think I can keep myself safe."

Jake closed his eyes, trying to fight the frustration I could feel building within him. "Nessie, I refuse to fight with you anymore. Maybe you're right. Maybe you don't trust me enough to keep you safe. But, I trust you. I trust that when you give me your word that you'll stay inside the house once the Volturi come, you'll honor it. I trust you to act like an adult and remember that having you run around unprotected puts all of us in jeopardy." He sighed. "Now, can you hand me that wrench over there?"

The fact that he'd just proven the truth of my argument was beyond him. I could have pointed it out to him, but I knew it would only cause more issues between us. I didn't want to fight with him anymore than he wanted to fight with me. We only had these next few months together. I refused to spend them anywhere but at his side. I was going to have to bide my time on this and figure it out on my own. Somehow, someway, I would learn to trust him. Maybe, by doing that, he would likewise begin to trust me. So, without another word, I handed him his wrench and officially changed the subject.

Things progressed fairly smoothly for the rest of the afternoon. Even my training session wasn't all that bad. We learned that, while I couldn't send my strength to Jake, what he sent to me still made us a pretty formidable pair. So, our training was adjusted accordingly. Jasper started making Jake and I "team up" during fighting, By this, he meant he wanted us to memorize each other's fighting style so that we could then anticipate each other's moves.

"You two share a connection," he said. "Let's utilize it for more than just strength sending. Use it to your advantage, and communicate with each other."

"I can't read his mind," I said.

"No, but when you love someone and are as bonded to him as you are to Jacob, you should be able to predict what he will do in any given situation. Use this while you're fighting. It might just save your life, you know."

This went over pretty well except for the fact that I could feel Jake's heart wasn't really into it. No doubt, he was still planning on having me staying in the house when the Volturi showed up._ (Yeah, that ain't happening._) Once training was completed for the day, I showered and went over the speech I had to give tomorrow a few more times in the privacy of my bedroom. (I'm not sure why I bothered. I'm going to screw this one up just like I have every other one. I wish I'd never taken this class in the first place. _What was I thinking?_)

The fragrant aroma of fried chicken permeating the house successfully distracted me from my abysmal public speaking abilities. I went downstairs. Alice, Jasper, Jake, and Emmett were in the living room. Jake and Emmett seemed to be watching a hockey game while Jasper and Alice were having some sort of whispered argument over by the window. Mom, Dad, Nahuel, and Huilen were out hunting. (Huilen seemed to acclimate to animal blood easier if she fed often and had Nahuel at her side.)

"There you are, Nessie," Esme said as she came out of the dining room. "Why don't you and Jake go ahead and eat now? Nahuel can eat when he returns."

Jake took my hand and pulled me with him into the dining room. Rosalie was just setting platters of fried chicken and biscuits in the middle of the table when we entered. The rest of the table fairly groaned under the weight of mashed potatoes, creamed peas, sautéed squash, and a large homemade lemon meringue pie.

"My goodness, Aunt Rosalie, who are you feeding? A small country?" I said, taking a seat next to Jake.

"Don't look at me. Esme was like a woman on a mission tonight. I just made the pie."

Esme put a tall glass of ice water in front of me and shrugged self-consciously. "Cooking calms me down. Even when I was human, that is how it was. Once, when I was about thirteen, my mother refused to allow me to purchase this hat I'd had my eye on for a month. She said the red satin trim was too grown up for me. I came straight home and baked ten dozen oatmeal raisin cookies before my anger receded. It got so that my brothers would tease me constantly, trying to upset me enough so that I would go into one of my cooking …" She fumbled, trying to come up with the appropriate word.

"Binges?" I supplied, scooping creamed peas onto my plate.

"Exactly," she answered with a wry laugh. "When I was made vampire, I had to abandon cooking and find something else to help me work through my issues. Thankfully, I discovered interior decorating and architecture. But, having people around who actually eat human food has allowed me cook again. It's been lovely."

"Remind me to get you all worked up tomorrow night, Mama Esme," Jake joked, piling food onto his plate with reckless abandon.

We'd just begun digging into our dinners when the trouble began.

"So when are we going to dress shopping?" Rosalie asked, plopping down in the chair across from me.

Buttering a biscuit, I looked at her curiously. "Dress shopping for what?"

"Prom? Remember that? You're still going, right? Or, are you telling me with all the craziness that has been going on Alice has actually forgotten you will need a prom dress?" she said.

"I'm pretty sure that's the first sign of the apocalypse," Emmett said as he entered the room.

"As if," Alice declared, zooming in behind him. "I would have you all know that I am more than prepared for Nessie's prom. I found the dress online months ago. I was going to design one myself, but, when I saw this one, I knew it was too perfect for me to pass up. It's upstairs in my closet all ready to go."

I rolled my eyes. "Is anyone at all concerned about the fact that I haven't mentioned one thing about wanting to go to the prom? We have the Volturi set to show up any second. Why would I consider going to a dance?"

"It's not just _a dance_. It's your senior prom! How many of those do you think a girl will get to attend in her lifetime?" Alice demanded.

I focused my attention on adding strawberry jam to my biscuit. "Let's see," I muttered sarcastically. "I'm immortal and stuck in a family whose main hobby seems to be attending high school. I'm pretty sure prom'll come up again."

"If she doesn't want to go, she doesn't have to go," Jake said. I was picking up a twinge of some odd, unexpected feeling from him, one I was determined to explore later when we were alone.

"Come on, Nessie! Why do you want to spoil all my fun? Any other girl in your place would be chomping at the bit about prom. Please? For me? Will you go? All this Volturi tension is driving me nuts. I need a little satin and lace, some tacky decorations, and loud music. Is that too much to ask?"

"You know you wouldn't actually be _going_ to prom, right?" I asked. "You'd only be helping me get dressed."

"Actually," Alice said, blurring over to sit next to me, "I wanted to talk to you about that. I knew Edward would have a fit about prom because of the Volturi, so I talked to your principal and volunteered myself and Jasper to help chaperone. Isn't that great? You'll be safe, and I get to see you at prom. It's a win-win!"

"Alice," Jasper warned, "I told you I didn't think it was a good idea for her to go—or us. We'd do better to stay home. We don't know what the Volturi are up to now that your vision of that night is gone."

_Well_, I thought, _now I know what these two were arguing about earlier. _

"Nonsense," Alice scoffed. "The Volturi aren't coming until May. Prom is next weekend. Besides, with you, me, Jake, Nahuel, and Nessie there, we'll be plenty safe against any threat." She glared at her mate. "I need this. Don't stand in my way." She didn't give him a chance to respond before she turned to me. "Well, Nessie? What do you say?"

I took a big bite of my biscuit so I wouldn't have to reply right away. As I was chewing, I considered how strange my life is. Who else would have guilt trip put on them by their aunt about prom? Still, I didn't want to disappoint her. She was right. Maybe a chance to kick up our heels of something we all needed.

I turned to Jake, who was focused more on his dinner than me. I was still picking up on that odd feeling from him, something that felt close to a mixture of simmering anger and hurt. Was he angry that I hadn't asked him to take me to prom? I honestly hadn't thought he would care, but now I wasn't so sure.

"Jake? Will you go to the prom with me?"

He looked up from his plate. "You don't have to go if you don't want to, Nessie," he mumbled, shooting scowls in Alice's direction. (Of course, Alice was too busy dancing and joyously singing "She's going! She's going! She's going to prom!" around the room to notice.)

I smiled at him. "I do want to go," I said. "I want to go with you. What do you say? Will you be my date?"

He stared at me for the longest time.

"Of course he will," Alice answered for him. "I've already got him a tuxedo. It's in my closet. Want to see?"

"No," he said, turning his attention back to his dinner. "I'm sure it'll be fine. Nessie, pass the peas."

I did as he requested, knowing there was something more going on here. But, before I could say anything else to him about it, Jasper let out a stream of low curses and shot from the room like a bullet from a gun. The rest of us followed, me unsure of what he had heard to make him react in such a way. Jacob had already transformed and was sending me his strength by the time we were all standing outside. I listened carefully, but all I heard was a vehicle shifting gears in the distance. Nothing else out of the ordinary came up.

"What is it, Uncle Jasper?" I asked, fear and adrenaline coursing rampantly through my veins.

"It's a truck," Alice answered, focusing her eyes on the end of our driveway. "It's coming up the drive."

That actually made me feel a little more relieved. (After all, I'm pretty sure the Volturi aren't showing in a truck.)

Another few minutes passed as we waited for the vehicle to make its appearance.

"Maybe it's just somebody who's lost?" I offered, pretty sure we were all overreacting here. (That and I'm growing tired of people showing up here at the drop of a hat.)

"No," Jasper said. "They're speed's too consistent, like they know where they're going. Jake, just in case it's a human, you might want to hide over there in the woods."

Jake nodded and did so. I could hear the dull roar of the engine in the distance getting closer. Within moments, headlights became visible. The supercab pickup pulled into our yard, a beat-up Chevy with peeling green paint and a dented left fender. I recognized it immediately. My jaw dropped open as the occupants of the vehicle turned it off and filed out into the yard. Not one of my family said anything as we stared at them in shock.

It was Seth who finally broke the silence. "Do I smell fried chicken?"


	46. Reinforcements

**Chapter Forty-Six: Reinforcements**

Jacob was naked again.

Surprisingly, nobody seemed to notice. (OK, _I_ couldn't keep my eyes off his butt—_especially the cute, little dimple on his left cheek_—but I'm fairly confident everyone else's attention was solely on our latest visitors.)

Jake, who had converted to human form in the woods, apparently forgot all about the need for clothes as he stomped up to his pack.

"Seth? Leah? Embry _and_ Quil? What the hell are you all doing here? Is this why I haven't heard any of you for the last week?" he demanded. (Note: I'm pretty sure Jake meant "heard" as in the pack plural communication they shared.)

Seth was the only one who had look halfway abashed. "We knew if we changed to wolf form, you'd pick up on our intentions. So, the second we decided to come, we just stayed human and didn't answer the phone. It's obvious you guys need help. Help is here."

"Yeah," Quil added with a wide grin. "Just call us the reinforcements here to kick some bloodsucker butt." He and Embry shared a high five before realizing who their audience was.

"No offense!" Embry quickly called out.

Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Esme, and me couldn't help but laugh at their youthful overconfidence. Unfortunately, Jake didn't even crack a smile. Instead, he spoke through gritted teeth. "I _told_ you to stay on the reservation."

"Actually, since you didn't make it an official order, we took it as more of a . . . suggestion," Seth replied with a lighthearted shrug.

Jake turned to the lone member of his pack who wasn't trying to pump humor into this situation. "Leah, how could you let them come here? You're supposed to be in charge in my absence."

She met him glare for glare. "We're a pack, Jacob. Packs protect their own. Sam and his guys can more than take care of everyone at the res. Whether you want to admit it or not, you need us."

After that, things went downhill rapidly. Jake spent the next fifteen minutes working himself into quite a lather, tearing into each of them about how stupid they were to come here, how much danger they didn't realize they were in, and how much he was going to personally choke each one of them with his bare hands. The pack stoically bore his displeasure, but it was clear to anyone with eyes that, despite his admonishment, they meant to stay. Finally, when my boyfriend started repeating his threats, I stepped in.

"Esme cooked enough fried chicken to feed the western hemisphere. Who's hungry?"

"Nessie," Jake snarled, "don't interfere. I'm not done."

"I didn't say you were. But, I'm old fashioned enough to think lectures should be conducted inside . . . with everybody _fully clothed_," I pointedly said. His anger pulsed through the connection at full strength. I knew any minute it was going to cause him to change to werewolf form. It had been quite a while since he'd lost control like that, and I didn't want anyone to get hurt—even if they all were supernaturals who could heal quite easily.

Mentioning his nude state seemed to startle him from his fury. He looked down, growled in impatience, and said, "I'm going to my apartment to dress. You all have twenty minutes to eat and then you're hitting the road."

He walked away before anyone could react. There was a moment of silence before Esme prodded everyone to come inside. As they filed past, Quil, Embry, and Seth took turns hugging me and swinging me around.

"We've missed you, kiddo," Quil said as I pulled back from his hug. "Even if you do always stink of vampires."

I laughed as I followed them inside. Once everyone was seated around the table, the guys immediately dug in. Jake came in a few minutes later, took a chair, and mutely resumed eating. Quil, Seth, and Embry kept the chatter light, obviously trying to ease around Jake's prickly temper. They relished the food, gave rousing compliments to Esme on her cooking, and took turns complaining about how I was too stuck up to come to the reservation anymore.

"Yeah, Ness," Quil complained. "You'd be happier in Washington than this godforsaken place. Who in their right mind wants to live in South Dakota?"

"Right," Embry agreed, swallowing a mouthful of chicken. "What's the human population out here? Six? Mighty, slim pickin's if you're vampire."

I rolled my eyes at their attempts to bait me. Teasing me had always been their favorite pastime. "We're more concerned with the animal population, as you well know. Of course, if you keep it up, I could be persuaded to start hunting werewolves."

Quil guffawed at that. "Bring it on, little sister! You'd have to catch me first."

The rest of the pack laughed at this. It was only Leah who didn't join in. Instead, she sat there glaring defiantly at Jake, her arms crossed over her thin chest.

"You may as well eat, Leah," Jake said. "You'll need a full belly for the trip back."

Leah arched a dark eyebrow at him. "We're not going anywhere."

"Wanna bet?" he challenged, slapping another spoonful of mashed potatoes onto his plate.

Alice set drinks down in front of our visitors with a welcoming smile. Besides Esme, Carlisle, and my parents, Alice was the only one who as comfortable around the wolves as I was. Rosalie and Emmett hung around the doorway, observing the goings on more than participating in them. I'd heard Jasper on the phone a few minutes ago and knew he was upstairs calling my parents to let them know the pack was here. "So, how's Charlie doing these days?" Alice asked, clearly trying to break up the tension in the room.

"He's as mad as riled hornet," Seth explained. "He didn't like being left behind. If it weren't for Mom stepping in, I think he would have stowed away in the back of my pickup."

"So is that why you came?" I asked. "Because Grandpa wanted you to?"

"Nah! We've been kicking around the idea for a while, but Jake kept shutting us down." Seth answered.

Quil interjected, "Yeah, but everything changed when he told us about the intruder that was coming. We knew you all needed us then, and I'm glad we did. Even though it only turned out to be that Nahuel dude's aunt this time, it could be a real threat next time. You guys need someone who can guard the surrounding territory while you and Jake train and figure out what's keeping you from sending him your strength."

"I've been wanting to see that for myself. It'd be cool if me and Anna could do something like that," Seth said in dreamy wonder.

"What about the wedding? How is it going to go forward if you're here and she's in Washington?" I said, hoping this didn't mean Anna was coming here. _(There is only so much of her I can honestly stand.)_

"We postponed it. It wouldn't be right to get married if the whole family isn't able to be there," Seth replied, draining his glass of water in one gulp.

I was touched by this. I'd never thought much about how easily the pack had adopted me into their collective family. As it had always been that way, it was something I had never questioned. Now, looking at this pack of young men (and woman) who were willing to put their lives on the line to protect their leader's imprinted mate, it was overwhelming. I was a vampire (at least partly). By all rights, they should hate me and want me dead. Instead, they loved me, accepted me, and were steadfast in wanting to protect me. It made my respect for them bloom even more. It also made me consider the deepening power of the imprinting. Not only had it forever changed mine and Jacob's lives, but also the lives of my family and an entire reservation of Quileute Indians. _Wow._

Seth piped up. "We're gonna get married next Christmas. That way, we'll get you to visit for the holidays too. Charlie gets antsy when he doesn't spend Christmas with Nessie and Bella. Alice, Anna says to tell you, Rosalie, and Esme that all ideas are appreciated. She's started some online planning whatchamacallit site where you can go on and view all the selections she's made. She's gonna email you the link."

Alice clapped in anticipation and promised to go online as soon as possible. I shook my head, astonished at how quickly my aunt can shift gears from danger to wedding planner. (Then again, I'm not that amazed. She_ is_ trying to chaperone my prom in two weeks.)

"You guys about done?" Jake asked eyeing their empty plates.

"Rosalie made pie," Esme announced. "Who's got room for dessert?"

Once pie was passed around, Jake began his tirade again. Leah held up a finger to halt him before he could get fully warmed up.

"Let me stop you right there. I've already told you. We aren't leaving—at least not until the Volturi are dealt with."

"You don't have a clue what you are getting into, Leah. The Volturi will kill you just as soon as look at you. You're nothing but a bunch of kids."

"Kids?" Leah barked. "I'm older than you, and Quil and Embry are your same age! Even Seth is only two years younger than you. None of us could be considered a child."

"That's irrelevant. When it comes to experience—"

Leah interrupted. "Need I remind you that the last time you all went up against the Volturi, we were right there too? Last time I checked, you don't have any more experience with them than we do."

"Yes," Jacob sneered, "you have a history fighting vampires. You also have a history of not thinking with your head and reacting in ways which get others hurt. Or have you forgotten that time you're hotheadedness cost me more than one set of broken bones?"

Leah flushed and looked down. "That was long ago. I wasn't in control then. But now—"

It was Jacob's turn to interrupt. "But nothing. I'm the Alpha in this pack, Leah. That means what I say goes and I say you are all going home. Now!"

Nobody said anything. Nobody moved either. Each pack member stared down as Jake glared at their bowed heads. "Well?" he prompted.

They waited, like they had known this was coming. With a heavy breath, Leah finally spoke, not bringing her eyes up to meet his. Her words were whisper-soft, but still quite audible.

"You're going to have to make that an official order," she said.

After that, the room became so silent you could hear the wind blowing against the house. I understood what Leah was doing. She was playing the only card she had left. She knew Jake detested giving official orders. As Alpha, he could force anyone within his pack to physically submit to his will. It was one of the benefits of being leader. When he'd been a member of Sam's pack, he'd experienced this firsthand. It was one of the reasons he hated it so much. Had he not been an Alpha by birth, he would not have been able to break off to start his own pack. But, those who sat before him tonight had no such option. If he made the command, they would have no choice but to obey. But, Leah knew like I did, that Jacob had, up until now, never forced any of them to do anything.

There was a long minute of silence. I could feel the frustration, shock, and anger pouring from Jake. This was the last thing he'd expected. It went against everything he had to issue that order. But, at the same time, he was worried for their safety. He didn't want them within ten miles of the place with the Volturi coming. I wanted to butt in, to tell him to let them stay or to try to persuade them to leave—whatever would end this emotionally draining standoff. I didn't know the right answer. Sure, we could use all the help we could get against the Volturi, but I didn't want to see more people I loved put in harm's way because of me. It was a no-win situation and I—even with my connection to Jake—wasn't sure what his decision would be.


	47. Therein Lies The Truth

**Chapter Forty-Seven: Therein Lies The Truth**

I planned to get to the bottom of the trust problems plaguing Jacob and I as soon as possible. They say when you make a plan, God laughs at you. All I can say is, if this is true, God did a lot of laughing over the next two weeks.

Our new houseguests certainly didn't help the situation-Yep, the pack stayed. _(C'mon! You knew they were gonna.)_ In the end, Jake had been unable to command them away. Yet, that didn't mean he was suddenly thrilled to have them here. If anything, he seemed to resent their presence more than Rosalie, who kept complaining to Emmett and Esme that we'd never get the stink out of the carpet. (Aunt Rose may love me and grudgingly accept Jake's place in our family, but that doesn't mean she's going to do cartwheels when four werewolves move in.)

Dad, Mom, and Carlisle seemed somewhat relieved to have the supplementary reinforcements. When I asked Dad about it, he mentioned that seeing the pack might give Aro a reason to pause, which could make all the difference in the outcome of our battle. I wasn't sure what he meant by that, but I didn't have a lot of time to question him because I spent the next fourteen days primarily dealing with the following:

My latest speech disaster (Mr. Gordy said I lacked "rudimentary presentation skills," which I took to mean I'm not getting an "A" in his class anytime soon);

Side effects of having the pack around full-time, which included a moratorium on my boyfriend sleeping with me at night since Leah would now be sharing my room while Jake and the others bunked in his apartment (A not-so-sly—_and pathetic_—maneuver on my father's part);

Jasper's insane training schedule (I honestly believe he's trying to kill me); and

The fact that Alice volunteered herself, Jasper, and me to be on the prom decorating committee. (We were in charge of inflating and hanging over 500 balloons. Interesting side note: If vampires inhale helium, they can sing like chipmunks too!)

Jake and I only saw each other at dinner or training. When I did see him, he was so angry and uptight I didn't dare broach the subject of our problem. Instead, I usually ended up offering whatever comfort our being near each other could give. It seemed to calm him somewhat.

On top of everything, Leah took an instant dislike to Nahuel and Huilen's presence, which only increased the level of tension in the household. Likewise, Huilen didn't cotton to the idea of having werewolves around _(You know, the whole mortal enemies thing and all)_. It took quite a bit of verbal finessing on Carlisle and my parent's end to keep the peace. I was fairly confident Jasper's empathic abilities played a part in maintaining the overall sense of tranquility as well, but I had no solid proof.

To help combat this (and, I'm sure, to get back to them for refusing to go home) Jacob set his wolves on a rigid schedule of maintaining twenty-four hour sentry duty around the compound. The pack was paired up and switched off every twelve hours. As much as I could tell the constant shifts were wearing on Leah, Seth, Embry, and Quil, not a one of them complained. If anything, this only seemed to harden their resolve to stay. Jake joined them whenever his work or other commitments allowed him to do so. (Actually, I think being around his pack full-time was doing him good, but I wasn't stupid enough to mention this opinion out loud.)

The only one who seemed thoroughly pleased by the recent turn of events was Esme, who was cooking pretty much nonstop (as the twelve-hour shift turnover had our house running on an almost constant supply of hungry humans in need of food).

It was because of everything that was going on to and around me that it took a while for a crucial detail to occur to me. In fact, it wasn't until Alice, Jasper, and I were returning from our prom decorating duties on the night before the big event, that everything suddenly clicked into place.

"You lost your vision of the Volturi coming because the pack is here."

I was riding in the backseat. Alice flipped around from her position on the passenger side to stare at me in surprise. "You just now figured that out?"

I shrugged. "Haven't had much time to think about it."

"It was a relief for me," Alice said. "I was worried I might be losing my abilities."

One of Jasper's hands came off the steering wheel to clasp hers. "I told you that can't happen. Your kind of gift doesn't fade with time."

Alice sulked. "Between Aro using the holes in what I can do to his advantage, being randomly blocked by Nahuel, and having complete visions erased by the presence of werewolves, I'm not so sure it's a gift."

"Sweetheart—" he began.

"It's fine. It's not a perfect power, and nobody expects it to be," she said with a flippant wave of her hand. "I've made my peace with it." She turned back to me. "But to answer your question, Nessie, yes, that is why my vision was erased. It is also why I knew Jacob wasn't going to order the pack away."

I opened my mouth to ask why when the answer became evident. "Because, if he decided to send them back, your vision would have been restored."

Alice beamed like a proud teacher over a prized pupil. "Absolutely."

—D—

"We need to talk."

"Not tonight, Nessie. Between the '71 Plymouth that needs to be finished by Friday, training with Jasper and you, dealing with the pack, and the impending arrival of the Volturi, I don't think I can handle any other drama. I'm exhausted and the only thing I have thought about all day is the fact that I'd get to lay here with you. I'm gonna enjoy it."

We were on a blanket outside where we'd had our date all those weeks ago. It was the first time we'd been alone in a while, and I was trying to take advantage of that. I propped myself up on Jake's chest and frowned down at him. "Time is running out. The Volturi will be here before we know it, and—"

Just that quickly, Jake rolled us over until I was trapped under his warm body. I gasped and stared up at him. "Jake, we need to—"

His mouth swooped over mine, effectively silencing me. I squirmed to get away, annoyed by his highhanded behavior. I wasn't going to be treated like this. I had something important to say, and he needed to listen. He needed to—_Oh my God, when did he learn to do _that_ with his tongue?_

I have no memory of wrapping my arms around his neck, but I did. Jake kissed me for a while longer before abruptly pulling away. I tried to follow, but he wasn't having it. Groggily, I blinked up at him. His all-male smirk brought me back to reality. My arms fell away from his neck as I shoved him.

"You can't kiss your way out of this, Jacob Black. I know you're tired and irritated, but we need to t—"

As quickly as that, he smothered what I was going to say with his mouth. This kiss was more passionate than the last, Cradling my jaw to keep my face close to his, he angled my head and made shallow, tantalizing thrusts with his tongue along the top of my upper lip. Unable to handle this kind of teasing, I captured his swashbuckling tongue with my lips and sucked it inside my mouth. He groaned.

_Ah ha! Who's got the upper hand now?_

Turns out, he did. And, he took that hand and slid it down to cup my breast as he ran his hot mouth seductively along my jawline.

"You were saying?" he prompted, smugly.

"I-I—" I hesitated. _What was I saying_? I blinked a few times, trying to remember.

He chuckled as he moved to my side and drew me against him. I came back to myself and let my anger get the better of me. My half-vampire strength came in handy as I used it to swiftly propel him onto his back. I straddled his hips and slammed his arms down on either side of the ground, holding them in place with my hands.

"I want to talk to you, Jake," I snapped. "Using your masculine wiles against me is low blow."

He laughed heartily at that one. "So, what's the plan now? You gonna hold me down until I listen?"

I smiled, thinking that wasn't such a bad idea. "Maybe. Of course, I'll let you go if you promise to stop distracting me."

His dark eyebrow arched. "Payback is hell, isn't it?"

I knew he was talking about the time I'd tried to seduce him into doing what I wanted. "OK. Just remember, you asked for it." I enforced my statement by pressing his encased wrists into the blanket a little more.

Jake's laugh was loud and lazy. "You think you're strong enough to keep me down?"

I grinned in return. "I've been stronger than you for a few years now. I can also outrun you and outhunt you. Don't mess with me, buster. I'll beat you every time."

Before I could blink, our positions were reversed. I was now under him, my hands imprisoned on either side of my head. I struggled against him, finding it difficult to slip away. His mouth eased down to my ear. "Allow me to tell a little secret, darlin'. I've been letting you win for years."

Outraged, I scowled at him and thrashed against his confining grip. He wasn't lying. The fact that I couldn't get away from him more than proved the veracity of his words.

"I might not be stronger than you right now, but I will be one day. I am the hybrid child of a singer. Once I get as strong as Nahuel, I'm going to have you on the ground at my mercy."

Unperturbed by my threat, he winked. "Promise?"

I rolled my eyes at him before demanding to be released. He did so, and I sat up next to him. Slapping his shoulder half-heartedly, I grumbled. "I can't believe you've been letting me win all these years."

"It made you happy," he said, as though it explained everything, which I suppose, it did. Jake's life since he met me had been lived with the sole purpose of ensuring my happiness. I idly wondered if I ever made him as happy as he'd made me. Without thought, the question blurted from my lips.

He looked taken aback for a second. "Of course," he answered. "Seeing you happy made me happy."

I shook my head in dismay, cuddling close to his heated body.

"What?" He pushed an errant lock of coppery hair out of my face as he searched my eyes. "You don't think I was happy?"

"I just hate how trapped you must have been, waiting on me to grow up and love you back, being forced by the imprinting to be a slave to my happiness for the last seven years. Do you think you were really happy or it was just the imprinting making you think so?"

"I think you're just as imprinted as I am. You tell me. Does it control your feelings?"

"Sometimes, I think so."

I felt the large surge of hurt that echoed through our connection and answered it with a healthy dose of guilt. I shouldn't have said anything. _Why can't I let this go? This isn't even what I wanted to talk to him about._

He pulled me close, resting his chin on top of my head. "All this time and you still don't get it, do you?"

"I love you, Jake. All on my own. I'm not saying the imprinting made me fall in love with you, but even you have to admit there are times when it pushes at us to do things we might not be ready to do."

"Like what?"

"Like I wanted to jump your bones that night in the paint and body garage."

Jacob laughed.

"You think this is funny?" I demanded.

He slowly shook his head, a grin still plainly on his face.

"Then what?"

"The imprinting only tries to give us what we want and need to survive," he explained.

"So I need to have sex with you in order to survive?"

He guffawed at that one, so hard I jabbed him in the ribs to make him stop. I was blushing so hard I felt like my cheeks would explode from the heat.

"That night in the garage, you weren't the only one thinking about jumping bones. I wanted you so badly it was everything I could do to put myself on the other side of the room. My point is, it's what we both wanted. That was what was making it so hard for us then. The imprinting was sensing what we both wanted and was simply trying to give it to us."

_Huh?_ I looked at him like he'd lost his mind. "So, what? It turned us into a bunch of lust magnets? What would happen if we both wanted kids at the same time?"

He shrugged. "I have a feeling that if you and I both want a baby at the same time, it won't be long before we have one. I doubt there is little you and I couldn't do if we both wanted something badly enough."

I settled back against him, thinking this over. Maybe this was the answer in dealing with the trust problem between me and Jake. If we both wanted to trust the other, wouldn't that mean the imprinting would make it so? If we both wanted to defeat the Volturi bad enough, wouldn't that mean the imprinting would make us unbeatable? I wasn't sure exactly how this weird power between Jake and I worked in the terms of the Volturi, but it was certainly something to consider.

I wondered if there would ever come a time when I wouldn't worry about the imprinting or its control over me—whatever it was. Would it ever be as effortless for me as it seems for Jake? Unfortunately, I didn't know the answer to that. I also didn't know how I was going to get Jake and I headed in the same direction on this trust problem. So far, I couldn't even get him to admit we had a problem.

"Jake?" I said.

"Yeah?"

"Do you trust me?"

"Yes." His sigh was loud and heavy. "Do you trust me?"

"No."

The word was as soft as the light night wind blowing around us. I'm not sure who was more shocked by my confession, him or me. I pulled away and sat across from him. Automatically, he reached for me, but suddenly stopped, letting his hands fall uselessly into his lap. I wanted to take back my answer, claim it as a joke, or something similarly lame. But, I didn't. Instead, I watched him absorb this new knowledge, betrayal and sadness welling in his eyes.

I told him the truth. I knew it was a truth he needed to hear. I couldn't lie to him. I couldn't lie to myself. Not anymore. If we were ever going to have a shot at beating this, now was the time for truth.

The silence between us grew louder, shattered only by the baying of a wolf in the distance. Jake jerked towards the sound. He waited for another minute before seeming to decide it was only a regular howl, not a signal of approaching danger.

_No_, I thought, _the danger is right here._

He finally turned back to me. I wasn't sure what he was going to say. I probed our connection, but could only feel lingering sadness mixed with something oddly similar to curiosity, which made no sense.

"I'm sorry," I began, extending my hands towards him.

He moved out of my reach. "Why?"

"Why, what?"

"Why don't you trust me? I'd never hurt you. You know that."

"Lots of reasons. You lied to me all my life, Jacob. You didn't tell me about the imprinting. You made yourself out to be like a brother to me when you always knew there would be more between us."

"What would you have had me do, Nessie? Start courting you when you were a toddler?" His words came out fast and hard. "I told you before; I didn't feel like that toward you then. You say I acted like your brother. Well, until about a year ago, that's exactly how I felt. I kept the truth of the imprinting from you because, like your parents, I wanted you to have a childhood as free and happy as we could provide. I didn't want you to have to deal with this any earlier than you had to. Put yourself in my position, and tell me what you would have done."

"Logically," I conceded, "all of that makes sense. But, it also undermines everything we built for the first seven years of my life. It also doesn't inspire a lot of trust. I'm sorry, but it's the truth."

He took my hands in his. "Tell me what I can do to rebuild the trust. Whatever it is," he promised faithfully, "I will do it."

I believed him. Even without our connection telling me so, I knew he meant it. Unfortunately, I wasn't sure how earnest he was going to be when I told him what I wanted. It was time for truth on both sides. I took a deep breath, deciding to plow on ahead. (After all, I was already out on the limb. Might as well go all out.)

"I have a question. Tell me the truth. Whatever you do, don't lie to me."

Jacob gave a solitary nod, waiting for me to continue.

"Do you trust me?"

He opened his mouth, his lips beginning to form the "Y" in "Yes." Just as quickly, he paused, considering everything. Almost like reading a book with pictures, I could tell he was mentally flipping through everything we'd been through in my short life. Finally, he turned back to me, a small smile turning up the corners of his mouth. I felt sick. He was going to lie to me. I knew it. I examined our bond, knowing he believed whatever it was he was about to say. I tensed, waiting for the pain his lie was going to cause me, knowing it meant he and I might never get past this trust issue.

He spoke. My shoulders sagged in defeat at his answer. There it was. The lie. Jacob was never going to admit it to any deficiencies in our relationship. _What's going to happen to us now? How do we go on from this? _Then, the word he'd just uttered replayed in my mind. _Did I hear that right? _I gaped at him, confused.

"What did you just say?"

The smile he was wearing widened into a full-fledged grin. "I said, 'No.' No, Nessie, I don't trust you."


	48. Easier Said Than Done

**Chapter Forty-Eight: Easier Said Than Done**

Under normal circumstances, when a guy tells his girlfriend he doesn't trust her, the girlfriend would, at the very least, be angry.

I was thrilled.

It was all I could do not to plant the kind of kiss on him that would leave his ancestors blushing. But, as now was hardly the time to make out, I settled for asking, "Why don't you trust me?"

Jake's eyes dropped briefly to the ground before shooting back up to lock with mine. "You keep pushing me away."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, ever since you found out about the imprinting, you've done everything in your power to keep me at arm's length."

My reply was swift. "No, I don't."

"Yes, you do. Case in point: The prom."

That confused me completely. "What about it?"

"Did you even want to go with me or did you agree because Alice bullied you into it?"

"Me not wanting to go to the prom had nothing to do with you. It's just a stupid dance."

"Yeah," he muttered, "you sure weren't saying that when Derek asked you to the Winter Formal, were you? You were over the moon about going with him."

My jaw dropped. _He's still jealous of Derek?_ "Derek has a girlfriend, in case you don't know. Her name is Emma, and he's desperately in love with her. And, I would remind you that I broke up with Derek the night of the dance and picked you."

His eyebrow cocked defiantly at me. "You didn't pick me over Derek, darlin'. And, you certainly didn't pick me that night. You might have fallen in love with me eventually, but it was only after you'd exhausted every other avenue at your disposal first."

Raw pain sliced through me like a hot knife through butter. I didn't know what was worse: That he'd just said that or that he believed it. "That isn't true! I love you, Jacob. Nobody else. Just you. And, as far as the prom goes, I didn't think it meant anything to you. You're so far beyond high school, I didn't think you'd want to go. And with the Volturi coming soon, I. . ." I trailed off, unsure of what else I could say. I was just so dumbfounded. _Jake wanted to go to the prom? Why does this matter to him so much? What does it have to do with our trust problems? _

"The point isn't prom, Nessie. The point is that it's a major rite of passage. In most cases, it's a rite people want to spend with the person they're in love with. But, you . . . didn't. What am I supposed to think about that?" He sighed heavily. "Most times, I'm just wondering if this is the day you'll wake up and realize you don't want to be with me anymore."

My heart ached for him. He couldn't really think that. _Could he?_ "Jake, I always want to be with you!"

He continued as though I hadn't said anything. "Even after you told me you loved me, you wouldn't accept my proposal—"

"Not because I didn't want to be with you. It was the wrong time. You agreed—"

"I agreed that I shouldn't have proposed under those specific circumstances, but that doesn't mean I don't still want to marry you. Believe me—Volturi or no Volturi—I want to marry you." He took in my expression for a moment. "And, by the look on your face, I can tell how much the idea of being my wife horrifies you. You want me to trust you? How can I when I know you have the power to destroy me anytime you want? What else can I do but hold back a little of my trust in some pathetic attempt to protect myself?"

I was frozen. I couldn't speak or move. I could only watch and listen as this nightmare continued in front of me.

"When Bella picked Edward over me, I thought I knew heartache. I didn't. I don't. But, Nessie, when you leave me, it won't just break my heart. It'll break _me_."

I wanted to call him a liar, to disprove every accusation he'd laid at my feet, but I couldn't. I didn't have any plans to leave Jake and I loved him, but time and time again I'd had the chance to give myself fully over to him and hadn't done it. _Why?_ I searched within myself, but no answer was obvious or forthcoming. And, as much as I wanted to apologize and promise to do better, I didn't know that I could. I didn't know anything anymore. So, I said nothing.

A long moment passed where we just stared at each other. I could see the agony in his features, feel it pulsing like a heartbeat through our connection. My own pain echoed his. I was drowning in it.

At long last, he took a deep breath and spoke. "Is my keeping the imprinting from you the only reason you don't trust me? Because I can't go back in time and fix that. I can only fix the here and now."

"It's not just the imprinting," I finally mumbled, my fingers fiddling with the edge of the blanket we were sitting on. "It's also the fact that you don't have any faith in my ability to protect myself or you."

"You forget I've been to every training session, Nessie. It isn't about faith. You can't defend yourself against the Volturi, and the mere thought of you injured drives me insane—which makes me vulnerable in a fight."

Anger took the place of every bit of sorrow I'd been feeling. I crossed my arms over my chest and glared. "I can hold my own against Jasper as well as Emmett. The other day I put Emmett on the ground. Or, did you forget about that, oh mighty warrior? I'm not going to hide away so you can fight all my battles. We're equals in this. It takes two of us to make this imprinting work, Jacob. Not just you. The sooner you realize that, the better."

He released a hard breath through gritted teeth. We were getting nowhere. I was a puddle of hurt, anger, and confusion. I watched him rake a hand through his hair, knowing he was feeling it all too.

"We make a fine pair," he said, with a bitter laugh. "I guess this is what they mean when they say love isn't always enough, huh?"

A lone tear slipped down my cheek as I slowly nodded. _Are we about to break up?_ My heart stopped at the mere thought. I didn't want to break up with Jacob. I loved him. He was my everything. I couldn't imagine not being with him. I had to say something, anything, to stop this. But, I didn't even know where to begin.

"Nessie—"

I interrupted. I couldn't let him say it. "Jake, I love you."

He closed his eyes, his shoulders slumping as though he had the weight of the world on him. "I know. I love you, too. But, Nessie—"

"Tell me what I can do to fix this. Tell me what I can say. I don't want to break up—"

His eyes flashed open, causing me to stop me mid-ramble. "You thought I was breaking up with you?" he asked.

"Yes."

Jake laughed and shook his head. "Renesmee Cullen, if I live a thousand years, I'm never going to have you completely figured out."

_What does that mean?_ "And that's a bad thing?" I prodded, wiping furiously at the tears that wouldn't stop coming.

"No," he said, pulling me against the heat of his chest, "it means I'm never sure what you're going to say. It's maddening, exciting, and sexy as hell."

I laughed in relief, rested my cheek against his chest, and just let him hold me. He wasn't leaving me. Everything else could wait. I listened to his heart pound beneath my ear for a while. "How are we going to get past this?" I murmured against his t-shirt.

"I don't know," he answered, stroking my back, "but we have to."

We sat there a long time. Being together like this in the silence was soothing. It also gave me time to think. (Not that I was able to come up with a solution to all of this, but it was still nice to think.) Then, something occurred to me. I wasn't sure how I could make my boyfriend trust me or how I could make myself trust him, but there was one thing I _could_ fix right now. "Jake?"

"Yeah?"

I slipped back from him, using my hands to mop my face free of the tears that had collected there. "Want to go to the prom with me?"

He fought back a grin. "Nessie, you don't have to do this. I'm already going to take you."

I rose up on my knees and held my palms out in front of me in devout supplication. "Oh, beautiful, patient, wonderful Jacob Black, I love you with every beat of my heart. Will you do me the great honor of escorting me to the prom? I hear it is a significant rite of passage that one must share with the one they love. Well, I love you, and there's no one else I would rather dance the night away with."

The grin was in full force now. "I'm going to forget how much that sounded like something your father would say—"

I smacked his arm.

"And that move was pure Bella—"

I got to my feet, ready to storm off. Jake grabbed me by the arm and pulled me into his lap. "God, you're so feisty. That part is all you. My favorite part." He reclined me back. "And I'd love to take you to the prom," he said before kissing me.

After that, I was pretty sure _my_ ancestors were the ones blushing.

—D—

_Is this really me?_

The reflection staring back at me was a woman I barely recognized wearing an ivory, satin prom gown. (I wanted to jump up and down from excitement, but the gown was strapless and pushed my breasts to the heavens and . . . _well, you know what I'm getting at.) _The dress was form-fitted around the bodice, waist, and past my hips. At the top of my thighs, it flared out to the floor. A delicate interlocking swirl of black and gold filigree stitching started at my right hip and slid like a sash around my waist and continued up along only the left side of my bodice. Rosalie had fashioned my hair into a complicated bun twisted to the side of my head to rest behind the back of my right ear. A large, white gardenia covered the bun and played peek-a-boo in the mirror. My bangs were curled and swooped sideways in an arc to fall to the side of my forehead. The gold chain with the black onyx pendant Jake had given me for Christmas hung around my neck and completed the ensemble perfectly.

"Jacob is waiting for you."

I turned to see my mother standing in the doorway. Nerves gripped my stomach, but I wasn't sure why. Maybe it was the excitement of the evening to come, maybe it was because I hadn't seen Jake since our emotional talk last night, or maybe it was because I'd thought of nothing else all day and I still hadn't figured out how to fix our problems.

"You don't look happy, Renesmee," she said, moving close to cup my chin in her hand. She raised my face until I was looking her in the eye. "You don't have to go if you don't want to. I wasn't real fond of dances myself. If you—"

"That's not it, Mom. Jake and I, we're at a kind of crossroads in our relationship right now. I'm scared."

She hugged me close to her cool body, and I was wrapped in her comforting scent. Only this time, it wasn't enough to push my fears away. "Love is never easy," she whispered. "Anyone who tells you that it is has never experienced it firsthand."

"But, you and Dad love each other, and you're doing just fine."

She held me back from her. "It doesn't mean we haven't had our share of bumps in the road."

"This is more than a bump, Mom. If I don't figure out how to fix us, it could be the end of everything." I didn't know how to fully explain, and, honestly, it seemed wrong to tell her the intimate details of what was going on with me and Jake. It was between us. But, still, I needed someone to tell me what to do. I was so lost.

She nodded and took a very unvampire-like breath. "You know, there was a time when I thought turning into a vampire would solve all of your father's and my problems and we could live our happily ever after. But, it didn't work. In some ways, it only exacerbated the problems we already had. In others, it made all new issues for us to deal with."

"Like what?"

"Like your father had to learn to trust that I could defend myself and this family. He was so used to me being fragile and in need of protection. It was hard for him to let go. And, for me, it was hard for me to let go of everything I'd ever known to join him in this life."

"But you did. You gave everything up to be with him."

Mom's eyes held a faraway look. "I said I would, and I meant it, but sometimes things are easier said than done. Loving your father was easy. Deciding to spend forever with him was also easy. Becoming immortal and moving away from everything I've ever known and loved was anything but. There are consequences to every choice, Renesmee. The consequence to mine is that I will have to watch many people I love wither in old age and die. My father, my friends, all of them will fade to dust while I continue on. My mother, one of the women you were named after, died right before your second birthday."

I knew this. It had been a freak car accident and had left Mom devastated in a way that she's never quite recovered from. It was one of the reasons we rarely spoke of Renee to this day.

Mom's eyes shone so brightly they seemed filled with tears, an impossibility as vampires can't cry. "Mom, you don't have to talk about this."

"No," she said, "I do. I've been remiss in that. I should talk about her and often. It's the only thing that will prevent her from completely fading away. She never got to meet you. She never even knew about you. We couldn't tell her. The risk was too great. I thought there would be time to figure out a way for her to know you, but . . . Then, suddenly, she was gone." She inhaled swiftly, as though gathering herself together. "My point to all of this is that no choice is without its costs. You say you're at a crossroads. That means you have a choice to make. I think, up until now, you've done things by half-measures, maybe because you've felt pressured by us, by the imprinting, or by circumstances into making quick decisions. Do you remember what I told you the night you found out about the imprinting?"

Her words from so long ago came back to me. "_I_ get to decide my future."

"Exactly. Now, I'm going to add to that. Make your decisions with your eyes wide open. Be aware of the costs and consequences. Be aware that nothing is ever perfect and even happily ever after takes a lot of work and patience. Finally, once you decide your future path, don't hold back. Embrace it with everything you have. Don't linger on what you aren't getting or what you have to leave behind. Don't give only half of yourself. Let your fear go and just take the leap. Life's a gamble, Renesmee. But, if you're going to gamble, you have to bet everything you have. You might walk away with nothing, but at least you played the game to its fullest." She paused, regarding me closely. "Do you understand what I'm saying or am I just spouting a bunch of clichés?"

"I understand," I said with a little laugh, my own eyes welling with tears.

Mom pulled me to her again. "No crying now," she said. "You're aunts'll kill me if I ruin their masterpiece. They're downstairs right now bragging about how awesome they are."

I laughed again. "I love you, Mom, and I'm glad you chose to be immortal with Dad."

"Me too," she said. "Choosing Edward got me one of the greatest gifts in my life."

I pulled back, dabbing at my eyes. "And what is that?"

She looked surprised that I didn't already know the answer. "You," she said with a wide smile. "It's always been you."

Dad found us hugging and me crying. He didn't say a word as he whipped a handkerchief from his pocket and held it aloft. Mom took it and did her best to repair the damage I'd done to my face.

"Jake's waiting, Nessie."

I knew what Dad meant, but, in that moment, his words took an additional meaning. He was right. Jacob was waiting for me to make some choices. He'd been waiting on me forever. I thought I'd chosen him before and, on many levels, I had. But, I knew now I hadn't fully committed to him. He'd been right. I had always been holding something back. Maybe it was because I'd been afraid, maybe it had been because everything had happened so fast, maybe it was because I'd been pushed into so many things, or maybe it was because I was too stubborn and controlling and felt like I needed a choice in everything. Why did I need a choice in everything? Did it even matter at this point? I wasn't sure. I only knew my days of sitting on the fence had to end. It was time to pick a path and embrace it. It was time to let my fears go and just take the leap.

I moved to the door, intent on going downstairs to Jacob. The nerves rose up in me again, but I pushed them aside. I kissed my parents and went downstairs. I'd just reached the bottom step when I caught sight of Jake. My stomach clenched, and my mother's earlier sentiment made more sense right then than it ever had before.

Some things _were_ easier said than done.


	49. Surrender To The Daylight

**Chapter Forty-Nine: Surrender To The Daylight**

The Rat Pack came to South Dakota.

Dean Martin's "Ain't That A Kick In The Head" was playing over the loudspeakers as Alice, Jasper, Nahuel, Jacob, and I entered the brick gymnasium. Enlarged black and white photos of Frank Sinatra, Peter Lawford, Joey Bishop, Sammy Davis jr., and—of course—Dean Martin covered the walls. Partygoers strutted to and fro sipping punch from swanky martini glasses. Long tables swathed in faux crushed velvet, mulberry tablecloths were lined with assorted finger foods. A small queue had formed the end of one table, which housed an enormous crystal punchbowl filled to brim with pink punch. In one corner stood a giant, colorful archway made completely out of casino chips with "Las Vegas, Baby" scrawled across the top. Beneath it, couples took turns getting their pictures made. (Sometimes by themselves. Sometimes with their favorite Rat Pack player. Currently, Derek and Emma were gleefully posing with a cut-out of Frank Sinatra.)

In another corner, laughing participants placed bets at a spinning, red roulette wheel while others threw dice at a craps table, all vying to win their own set of commemorative prom casino chips. Here and there, tables and chairs were paired with gauzy curtains to create cozy, little alcoves where attendees could converge, refresh, and exaggerate their latest adventure. Overhead, black, silver, and white balloons were netted to the ceiling, ready to be released at the appointed hour. Twin spotlights swung to and fro over the swaying couples on the dance floor.

In other words, Alice had taken our average prom in small-town America and transformed it into THE class-A, social event of the decade. From now on, every prom from here to Indianapolis would be compared to this one and found desperately wanting.

I remembered back when we'd initially joined the decorating committee. Then, our class prom theme had been merely "Casino Night." Alice had nodded thoughtfully at the idea, tapped an index finger against her chin, and proclaimed, "That's great. But, how about we go a little further and do a Rat Pack prom? I bet nobody has ever done that around here before."

Like gasoline poured on a fire, the suggestion raced through the room until everyone was ablaze in excitement. My aunt didn't stop there, of course. _Oh no_. She continued on until she had basically redesigned every detail of the prom. The best part was that the little manipulator did it so well that most people on the decorating committee still thought each "brilliant idea" was of their own making. It was startling to watch. It was also amazing how she was able to "stretch" our meager class prom budget by persuading lots of companies "donate" things we needed. ("Donate" means paid for from the Cullen family coffers, which—I will admit—are ridiculously deep.)

Now, thanks to her Herculean efforts, my classmates were having the time of their lives. I scanned the room. Rat Pack period garb popped up here and there—another of Alice's ideas. Some boys wore black, vintage tuxedos while others wore dark suits with skinny, black ties. Most of the girls had donned an array of contemporary prom gowns, but there were a few in the crowd who wore retro dresses with fun, swishy skirts.

Alice, however, wasn't dressed like anyone else—_of course_. No, like a glowing light in blinding darkness, she was attired in a gossamer, one-shouldered red gown with a handkerchief hem that fluttered around her knees like butterflies whenever she moved. Her hair was slicked against her head, which made the ruby choker circling at her throat all the more noticeable as well as the matching teardrop earrings.

More to the point, she'd made sure Jake and I stood out from the crowd. My gown couldn't seem to decide which era it belonged in. It had a modern feel to it, but, at the same time, openly flirted with the bygone era of the early 60's. Looking around, I noticed I was the only female dressed in white and Jake was the only male dressed in a black tuxedo with a white jacket. We were a matched set, even down to my gardenia and his black felt fedora with the white hatband. Likewise, Nahuel wasn't in any danger of blending in tonight. His dark, braided hair, olive complexion, and unusual eyes paired with the standard tuxedo gave him a more exotic feel than normal. He'd forgone a date tonight. But, from the amount of admiring glances he was getting from nearly every woman here, I didn't think he'd be in want of companionship for long.

Next to us, Alice was so giddy she couldn't keep still, like a kid who'd eaten too much candy. She was bopping along to the music and grinning around at everything like it was the first time she'd seen any of it.

"Go on, you guys," she said, making a shooing motion with her hand. "You're here to have fun. We're here to chaperone."

Chaperoning or not, Jasper pulled her out onto the dance floor where Sammy Davis jr's "Candy Man" was playing. Jake and I watched them go, laughing as they began pulling off moves that showed up every dancer out there.

Nahuel wandered off as well, his interest caught by the spinning roulette wheel. This alone time with my boyfriend wasn't the relief it should have been. My stomach tightened into a hard knot. It had been so long since I'd felt this level of nervousness around Jacob. It was so foreign and weird. He was feeling it too, which only compounded things.

"Wanna dance?" I offered, trying to break up this ice solidifying between us.

He nodded, took me by the hand, and led me to the edge of the dance floor, mostly away from the other couples. I slipped into his embrace as Bobby Darin began to croon "Beyond The Sea." Being in his arms was—as always—like coming home after a long, arduous journey. But this time, it was tinged with the feeling that something was missing or out of balance. Unable to relax, I sighed in frustration.

"It'll work out," Jake whispered against my cheek as we danced. "Give us time."

I tried to be optimistic. I tried to avoid thinking of the coming Volturi. I tried to come up with something that would hurry up and make our trust problem go away. I failed at every score. Then, Jake twirled me around, I smiled, he grinned, and I forgot about everything else except living in this moment, dancing this dance with him. We shifted and shuffled our bodies in tandem throughout the song, like we'd been partners for centuries. He twirled me out again and then swung me back in, cradling my body against his as though he never wanted to let go. When he gracefully dipped me at the end, he waggled eyebrows suggestively down at me. The outrageously exaggerated (and, yet arousing) gesture had me pealing with laughter. As he brought me back up, I wrapped my arms around his neck and, without thought, just laid one on him. Then, suddenly, nothing was funny. He kissed me back, and I lost track of everything but the feel of his lips moving intensely against mine. I suppose we would have continued this way had it not been for the shrill voice which interrupted us.

"Nessie, is that you?"

I automatically peeked over my shoulder to spot Kyla with Emma and Derek. Derek, looking uncomfortable for disrupting us, shifted nervously back and forth as Emma frowned at Kyla. Kyla, however, wasn't aware of any of it. _Oh, no_. Her eyes were keenly fixed on one thing.

Jacob.

_My_ Jacob.

My arms slipped from around Jake's neck as I turned to face them all. "Hello," I said, trying to sound pleasant. "Is everyone having a good time? Emma, you look beautiful."

And she did. Her bell-shaped, tee-length, sage green ball gown with the daintily-braided shoulder straps was indeed lovely, but it was the rosiness in her cheeks and the sparkle in her eyes as she looked at Derek that made her truly beautiful. It was obvious how happy she was to be with him. Her love for Derek—as well as the knowledge that he more than requited that love—had taken a simple girl in a pretty dress and transformed her into an unrivaled beauty. More than one guy passing by her found himself stealing a second glance.

Kyla gave a dismissive wave at my compliment to Emma and smoothly edged closer to me and Jacob—_actually more Jake than me_. Then, the little heifer smiled up at my boyfriend as if I wasn't even here. Her short, strapless black and gold print mini-dress left little to the imagination.And, when she puffed out her chest in an obvious ploy to get him to notice her breasts, I nearly lost it.

Being raised by vampires has given me a wealth of unique, yet useful knowledge. And, while I never thought I'd need to know how to dispose of a human corpse, I was suddenly thankful to have the information at hand. (_After all, will anyone actually miss someone like Kyla_?) Jake must have sensed my murderous plans because he took my hand and squeezed.

"Who. Is. This?" Kyla purred. "Nessie, is this the mysterious boyfriend we heard about the other day? Now, I understand why you've been keeping him under wraps. He's _gorgeous_!" She giggled as though she'd delivered some kind of witty joke. "Hi there, handsome. I'm Kyla King."

My fingers itched to snap her neck. It was only Jake wrapping an arm around my shoulders and hauling me to his side which kept me from it. I smiled, trying to temper my aggressive inclinations. (Note: From this night on, human dances of any kind are going to be forbidden to me. Apparently, they bring out my bloodthirsty vampire side.)

"Everybody," I said, trying to remember how to smile, "this is my boyfriend, Jacob Black. Jake, this is Kyla; Emma Hughes, a good friend of mine; and her boyfriend, Derek Martin."

"Nice to meet you all," Jake replied with a quick nod. Amusement oozed from him like toothpaste from a tube. In fact, our connection fairly buzzed with it. _He thinks this is funny?_ I couldn't fathom how. (Although, I noticed his amusement didn't stop him from giving Derek a hard once-over. Uh huh! Now who thinks jealousy is funny?)

"Your dancing skills are phenomenal, Jake. I'd love to take them out for a spin sometime," Kyla said, batting her eyelashes like she had something stuck in her eye. Then, she had the audacity to slide a cheaply-manicured hand down _my_ man's chest.

An actual growl erupted from me as I wedged myself between her and Jacob. I had no control over it and, in that minute, I didn't particularly care. Pure human instinct had Kyla jumping back in surprise. Likewise, Derek and Emma were gaping at me as though I'd grown a third eye or something. Jacob's hand snaked around my waist as he stepped back, pulled me tight against his chest, and held me there.

"Maybe another time, Kay," he answered. He wrapped his other arm around my waist and rested his chin on my bare shoulder, as though he was just a man showing affection to his girlfriend—instead of preventing a homicide.

"It's Kyla," she corrected, seemingly unsure if she should be frightened of me or irritated at Jake for not even remembering her name.

"Kyla," Alice said, returning to our sides in her usual will-o'-wisp way, "The principal wants all of the prom queen candidates to meet behind the stage in five minutes. You'd better run along."

Kyla looked at all of us, seeming to be sure there was a lot going on here that she wasn't picking up on. But, with one lingering glance at me—not Jacob, I noted—she nodded and, after stumbling a moment on her ridiculously high heels, moved toward the stage. Before anyone could say anything else, Alice demanded a dance from Jacob. He agreed, dropping a kiss on my shoulder before he left. Jasper, in a like manner, demanded a dance from his favorite niece. (It's an old joke between my uncles and me.)

"I'm your only niece, as you well know," I replied dutifully.

He grinned and ushered me to the dance floor. "You'd still be my favorite."

We danced through one song in silence. I spent the time pondering my jealousy of Kyla. It's not as though I worried that Jake would run off with her or anything. No, my response to her felt more feral than that, like I was an animal defending its territory. That kind of anger was astounding to me. This worry, of course, led me back to fretting over my lack of trust with Jake. Was this all somehow tied to that? Would it ever be resolved? How would we even begin to fix it?

"You can't keep going like this, Nessie."

I glanced up at my uncle, surprised to find that we were on our second dance. I'd been so caught up in my reverie I had forgotten everything else—including Jasper's talent of picking up on emotions.

"Whatever's going on between you and Jake. You have to deal with it."

I laid my head against his chest and sighed. "I'm trying." But even as I said the words, I knew they weren't completely true. I'd talked about the problem, worried about it, and argued with Jake about it. I'd done all those things, but there wasn't anything I'd really _done_ about it. But, what could we do? "I don't know what to do, Uncle Jasper. Jake and I, we don't trust each other. How do you fix that?"

We danced for a while. My head remained on his chest as we swayed to the beat of the song playing overhead. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, he said, "You always were a stubborn child."

My head popped up to frown at him. He grinned at me.

"Oh, don't get me wrong, Nessie. For the most part, you were pleasing and mannerly. But, if something wasn't going the exact way you decided it should, you'd push and push to forge your own path. You used to force pieces to fit whenever you'd put together puzzles and then get mad when the picture didn't look right."

I smiled, remembering that quite well. (Mom used to call them my Picasso puzzles.)

"And," he continued, "while stubbornness and independence can be a good thing, it isn't always."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean there are some things you can't force," he answered.

Did he think I'd forced myself to love Jake? He was so wrong. "I love Jacob, Uncle Jazz. I really do. But—"

He interrupted me. "Love doesn't always equate to trust. And, ultimately, whether or not you love Jake isn't up for debate. You love him. He loves you. Believe me,_ I know_. I'm overwhelmed with it every time you both are in the room.

"But, I've watched you two from the time you found out about the imprinting. You've fought it the whole way, and he has patiently waited in the wings for you to get your act together. He's let you call all the shots and find your own way—even when it's tortured him to do so."

"But—"

"No, Nessie. You still don't understand what you've put him through, do you? He had to bear the agony of you denying him time and again. Denying what you feel, denying your connection to him, denying the imprinting, denying everything. You have rejected him on every level, and he's remained steadfast throughout it all. He even had to watch you walk off the night of the Winter Formal in the arms of _another man_. And he did it without a word of anger or resentment. He did it because he loves you. Jacob is quite a man. He's had the patience of Job, waiting for you to decide you love him, waiting for you to accept the imprinting, waiting for you to accept your place with him. Sometimes, I think you forget how much he didn't get a choice here either."

"I'm aware of what he went through, and I—"

Jasper actually put a hand over my mouth. "Trust is something you can't force. You want to know how to fix this? Shut up and listen."

And, for once, I did exactly as I was bid without argument. (I know. I was shocked too.)

"You love him, but you've been in love with him from the beginning. You've just been too stubborn to admit it. You accepted the imprinting, but on your own terms, which isn't really accepting it at all to my way of thinking. You say you want to trust him and him to trust you. But trust must be earned. What have you done to earn his trust? What opportunities have you given him to earn yours? Trust is made up of equal parts love and faith. You have the love already. You lack only the faith."

"But what can I do? What can he do?"

Jasper gripped my shoulders. "Not him, Nessie. _You_. At every other interval, he's taken that hard, first step and waited for you to catch up. This time, it's your turn. You have to put yourself out there and have some faith. And, if he rejects you, you have to bear the burden of waiting until he comes around. He's carried the heavier load in your relationship thusfar. That must now come to an end. You have to be equals in every respect. It's the only way for you to truly be partners, to be together, to trust each other. He's sacrificed everything to be with you. His life, his future, _everything_. It's time for you to do some sacrificing."

I was floored by the mere concept. It felt like he was telling me I had to give up all of my notions of myself and what I wanted— to simply give up being _me_ in order to be with Jake. That felt ridiculous. _No, it can't be._ My brain raced, trying to think of a way out of this problem. _There has to be a logical way to fix this without me having to give up all of me._ Jake and I would be equals. I wanted that. He could keep himself, I would keep me, and we'd still be together. _There must be a way._

Jasper obviously picked up on my emotions because he put his hand under my chin, raised it so I could look into his eyes, and said, "You are so much like Edward. You think you can think your way out of every problem. Well, my dear niece, I will tell you like I told him when he was fighting the concept that he could have a real future with your mother. This is meant to be. You and Jake. It's not about logic, reason, right, wrong or being fair. It's simply meant to be. Stop fighting it, and just surrender to it. Surrender to it as the darkness of the night must ultimately surrender to the daylight. Stop thinking, and surrender."

_Surrender to the daylight._ I swallowed hard as the full implications of what he'd said hit me. I felt like I'd been told to jump out of a plane without a parachute, trusting that something or someone would be there to catch me. Then, a shiver of cold ran up my spine as another thought occurred to me.

_Do I even have it in me to do that?_


	50. Fairy Dust

**Chapter Fifty: Fairy Dust**

My heart hammered against my chest as full-blown panic set in. I could feel Jasper trying to calm me, but it was only half-working. I scanned the room until I found Jacob. Even as Jasper and I made our way from the dance floor to the little gauzy-curtained alcove Jacob was seated in, my gaze remained locked on him as I considered everything my uncle had said to me as well as what it would take for me to make that kind of sacrifice. Just close my eyes and surrender to the unknown?

_Nope. Can't do it. No way. Not possible._

Every post-feminist, survival instinct I had rebelled at the mere thought. I understood the depth of everything Jacob had ever done for me. I knew how patient he'd been, how much he'd given, and the heavy burden he'd had to carry alone. But, I hadn't asked him to do any of that. I hadn't asked for any of this. All I'd ever wanted to be was to live as normal a life as possible and to be the master my own fate. It wasn't a lot to want, and it had taken me forever to get to a point where I'd felt some measure of control. Now I was supposed to give it all up? What would be left of me? What did it even mean?

Jake must have picked up on the rollercoaster of my emotions because he stood with a frown.

"What happened?" he demanded as we finally made it to him. He turned on Jasper. "What did you say to her?"

Jasper remained unfazed by Jake's anger. "Only what needed to be said."

"She's at the prom, Jasper. You didn't think whatever it was you needed to say could wait?"

"I should have said it a while ago, but she wasn't ready to hear it then. She is now." He sent me a pointed look. "I think I'll go find Alice and leave you two to talk."

He walked away before either of us could utter a word of protest. My gaze stayed on Jacob as my panic came roaring back full-force. There was no way I could do this.

"Are you all right?" he asked.

I nodded, but the tear escaping down my cheek made a liar out of me.

He took off his fedora and jacket and tossed them on the chair behind him before closing in on me. Cupping my face between his hands, he said, "Tell me, darlin'. Whatever this is, we can work it out. Whatever Jasper said, it doesn't matter. We'll deal with it."

I closed my eyes, hating how much his words cut at me. It was agony. Another tear came down. I didn't want to do this. I couldn't. But, I also didn't want to hurt Jake anymore. I was torn, as I had been torn so many times in the past. There was me and there was Jake. Then, between us, this great divide. In my mind's eye, I could see Jacob standing on the other side, patiently beckoning me with an arm outstretched. He was doing it again. Jake was taking that arduous first step while I was holding back and tearing him to shreds. I'd hated myself before, but never like this.

"Nessie," he whispered, "please tell me. Let me help you."

I collapsed against him, sobbing uncontrollably into his shirt. He held me and, over my own riotous emotions, I could sense his uncertainty, his fear. Jake didn't speak of his concerns. In fact, he didn't speak at all. He just held me, and let me cry. I hated myself all over again. I hated how weak I was, how selfish. I even hated him. How could he love such a pathetic creature like me? Who would? (No wonder he didn't trust me.)

The warmth of his love all but glowed from his end of our connection. It reached out to me like the promise of a roaring fire on a wintry day. Before I knew it, we were moving, swaying, dancing. Frank Sinatra's "Body and Soul" was the soundtrack to my heartbreak. But somewhere along the way, my tears stop coming. The lyrics of the song and his love washed over me. Both became a balm to my castigated spirit. Idly, I wondered if my love had ever soothed him. I pushed it out from myself, trying to see if I could do it. I was aware when it hit him because he relaxed against me. I compelled more love his way until he was fairly bathed in it. He sighed and pulled me closer to him, seeming to snuggle into me like a soft blanket.

Then, I stopped thinking and just surrendered to the feeling. _Oh, how right this feels._ And, that easily, it wasn't about me anymore. There wasn't a me. There wasn't a him. There was only us. I supported him, and he supported me. Whatever he lacked, I would give and vice versa. I didn't know how I finally understood that. I only knew that's how it was. I didn't concern myself with the imprinting anymore. What did it matter? All that mattered was being with him. If the imprinting helped with that, then it could take me over anytime it wanted to. I was willing. There was no sacrifice too small when it came to being with Jacob. The song ended, but our dancing didn't. We swayed on for what seemed like hours. It was bliss. His arms were where I belonged, where I had always belonged.

There was a din of noise around us, but I barely noticed it. The music was silenced and, on stage, the principal was announcing the names of various contestants for prom queen and king. I didn't care. I kept my attention on Jacob, a small smile on my lips. He was wary, unsure why I'd been crying and concerned even more so now that I had stopped. He didn't trust that whatever had been bothering me was over. I cradled his jaw in my hand, running my thumb lightly over his cheek.

"I love you," I murmured.

"I love you," he immediately replied.

"I want to trust you. I _do_ trust you."

He frowned in confusion. "I want to trust you, too. I do trust you."

Even as he repeated the words, I knew he didn't really feel that way. He was merely trying to placate me so I'd remain calm. Jasper's words echoed back to me.

_At every other interval, he's taken that hard, first step and waited for you to catch up. This time, it's your turn. You have to put yourself out there and have some faith. And, if he rejects you, you have to bear the burden of waiting until he comes around._

It was obvious then what I needed to do. There was only the one way to show Jake that I did indeed trust him, that I was willing to officially take my life and future and throw my lot in with his.

I stared down at the necklace hanging from my neck. I picked up the pendant and looked at it briefly before returning my gaze to Jacob.

"This is really beautiful," I told him. "I'll cherish it forever."

"I'm glad you like it."

I could almost feel him probing our bond, endeavoring to decipher what exactly was going on here. (Trying to get ahead of me to do damage control, trying to get ahead of me as if he could somehow protect himself from whatever hurt I was about to unleash on him, whatever disappointment I was about to deliver.)

_Oh, Jake_, I thought wryly, _have a little faith._

"But, something's missing," I stated as I let the pendant fall back to my chest.

Like a popped balloon, he deflated against me. As much as he could pick up the emotions in me, he still didn't trust me. But, like the trooper he was, he took a breath, steeled himself, and waited for me to deliver the next emotional blow.

"I'd like a ring to match it."

"What?" he said, blinking at me in bewilderment.

My smile widened into a grin. "Will you marry me, Jacob?"

"What?" he repeated.

My smile wavered slightly, but determination propelled me forward. I felt like I was at the door of the plane about to jump. Then, without a single glance at the ground, I took a deep breath and hurled myself into the abyss.

"I love you. I want to be your wife. Will you marry me?"

His silence was deafening. Jacob didn't move. He didn't breathe. He just kept staring down at me. I kept looking up at him as the pain of his rejection cascaded over me. Still, I forced the smile to remain on my face. I could handle this. He'd done it a million times for me. I could do this one for him. And—

"Yes," he said, his voice so low it was almost inaudible over the applause erupting over us as the principal crowned the prom queen. Kyla King's name was called, but I didn't really register that. I was too focused on the syllables coming out of my beloved's mouth.

"What?" I said.

Now, it was Jake's turn to grin. "Yes, I'll marry you. But, just so you know, I'm telling our children that _I_ proposed to _you_. I'm the guy here, after all, and I've got a rep to protect."

I laughed. I cried. I jumped into his arms and kissed him with everything I had. He fully returned my kiss and gave me so much more. In that moment, I had never loved him more, and, in that moment, I had never felt more loved.

Our kisses gave way to simply holding each other. A contemporary song was playing as the prom queen and king were having their first dance. Jake and I danced along as well, as if this were our first dance. And, it was. It was our first dance as a true couple. Or, at least, it felt that way.

I looked up at him and smiled. He returned my smile, resting his forehead against mine as we moved back and forth. After a while, he angled his head moved so his cheek brushed mine. He whispered sweet nothings into my ear, murmuring about how much he loved me, how happy we were going to be, how bright our future was.

I didn't think. I just let his excitement, happiness, and love fill me like a banquet of food might fill a starving man.

"Don't worry about the Volturi, Nessie. We'll take care of them. The plan we've come up with is going to work. You'll see," he said, squeezing me closer to him.

"I know," I agreed.

"And, now that you'll be staying in the house, I'll be able to focus better on dealing with them—"

This brought me to a sudden stop. "What?"

His smile began to crumble. "You said you trusted me."

"I do."

"Then, you'll stay in the house and trust that I know best for the both of us."

I battled back every instinct I had to tell him off. "But, Jacob, I can fight. We're together. We should remain together when dealing with the Volturi. It's how it should be."

He shook his head. "Absolutely not. If something happened to you, I couldn't handle it. You're my whole life, Nessie. Can't you see that?"

His eyes blazed with a ferocity that I'd seldom seen. "I do see that," I said. "But can't you see I feel the same way? If something happened to you, I wouldn't want to live."

Jacob pulled me back close to him. "Nothing is going to happen to me because I'm going to be focused on the fight and you're going to be in the house, safe and sound. That's the way it has to be. Trust me, Nessie."

I opened my mouth to argue, but his last words hit me especially deep.

_Trust me, Nessie._

His frustration at my resistance was evident. So was his disappointment, And, as much as I hated it, he was right. I either trusted him or I didn't. I thought he was being ridiculous here. Pride demanded I should be out there fighting at his side when the Volturi came. But, maybe this is where I was going wrong. Maybe he did know better. He was older. He'd battled before. I certainly never had. (In fact, the closest I'd come to it was Constantine and look how that turned out!) Jasper's voice played in my mind again.

_He's sacrificed everything to be with you. His life, his future, everything. It's time for you to do some sacrificing._

"OK," I said.

Jake gaped down at me in surprise. "What?" (Note: "What" seems to be our favorite word tonight.)

"If my staying in the house is what it is going to take for me to show you how much trust you, then that's what I'll do."

"Really?" He probed our bond again.

I nodded, letting him feel the truth in me. "Really."

I settled back against his chest and let him sway me back and forth. We continued this way for a while, but I could tell he was antsy. I figured it was because he still wasn't sure I meant what I'd just said. "Summer Wind" by Sinatra began to play as we continued moving together.

"So, you're going to stay in the house while the rest of us deal with the Volturi," he said after a while.

"Uh huh," I murmured as I snuggled my face against his chest.

"And you're not going to try to talk me into something else later?"

"Nope."

I remained calm as the ripple of various emotions rolled over him. Anxiety, confusion, and happiness battled it out for dominance of him. I had faith he would work it all out. I sent him another shot of love through our bond. He sighed and hugged me close.

"You do trust me, don't you?" he said, with a little laugh of amazement.

"Yep."

"And you're going to be my wife."

"Yep."

"And you're fine with all of this?"

"Yep."

His grip on me was almost painfully tight. Then, as quickly as I'd felt contentment take him, a tremor of something else reared its ugly head. I looked up at him in concern. "What is it?"

"This is wrong."

I wasn't sure how to take that. "What is wrong?" He didn't want me anymore? _No, that wasn't it._

"You trust me, Nessie. You trust me enough to put aside your own wants and desires so I'll feel better about everything."

I shrugged. "You've certainly done it more than once for me. If we're true partners, I owe you no less."

He cupped my face again and placed a gentle kiss on my lips. "True partners," he repeated, staring intensely down at me.

"Yes, true partners. That's what I want, Jacob."

A moment went by before he spoke again. I wasn't sure where this was going, I only knew to hang on and wait for him to catch up, to accept that I did trust him. A battle was still going on within him. Our connection began to buzz. Then, like a dam with too much water, something broke inside him. The tear falling down his cheek took me by surprise.

"Well," he finally said, "if we're partners, I suppose you better be standing at my side when the Volturi come."

I stopped moving. "Jake . . ." My voice trailed off as I tried to understand what he was doing. Then, just as suddenly, I knew. A smile creased over my face. I'd taken the first, big step in this trust thing. Jacob was merely taking his own. "Really?"

"Yep," he said. "We do it together, just like everything else."

I was elated. Happy, content, and so much more. I grabbed him, jerking him to me so I could deliver the kind of kiss guaranteed to make his brain melt. He kissed me back, his mouth claiming ownership of me. I accepted his ownership and staked a claim of my own. I showered him in my love through the connection and he did the same. The streams of emotion met somewhere in the middle, mixed, and engulfed us jointly in an ethereal glow.

Then, as fast as the blink an eye, everything between us changed.

The swirl of emotion was overwhelming. Inwardly, it felt like being attacked by some kind of hurricane. We clung to each other, trying to maintain our footing. Then, we seemed to be floating inches above the ground, connected only to each other. The buzzing connection between Jacob and I grew louder. Just as quickly, I realized it wasn't the volume which had changed, it was that I could now distinguish what the actual sound was. It wasn't a buzzing. Instead, it was two staccato beats individually racing along to their own distinct rhythms. One sounded at my end of the bond while the other came from Jacob's. The second I became aware of these separate palpitations, they moved. Through our connection the two sounds advanced, tempos increasing as the beats got closer. Then, before I could draw in a breath, they collided and synchronized into one, stalwart pulse, almost like a heartbeat. _Thump_, _thump,_ _thump._

It was bizarre and normal all at once. I suddenly felt very, very different. Then, I realized why. The connection between me and Jacob was gone. Frightened, I probed around, but was unable to find it. Had I somehow broken the imprinting? I hadn't thought that was possible. Before I could go into a full blown panic, however, I felt Jacob. It wasn't like before, like we were tethered together with some kind of cord. No, this was more intimate. This was like breathing, an involuntary reaction most take for granted. Still, if you pay attention, you become aware of each breath, how much air you're bringing in, how much you're releasing. Jacob was in every breath I took, every emotion I felt, every decision I made. He was still him and I was still me. But, at the same time, we were _more_. Woven so tightly together that it was hard to tell where he ended and I began.

One. The thrumming beat between us proclaimed it so. He was an extension of my soul in another body.

_Soul mates._

I'd never truly understood that phrase before. But, I knew that's what this was. I'd thought I'd accepted the imprinting before, but I hadn't. I had only accepted my love for Jacob. That had only been the first major step in this. The imprinting, as a whole, was much more complex than that. Giving myself over to it was to consent to a marriage of hearts, a melding of souls, and an acceptance that there would always be more than just me here. There was an us that was so much more important. It was so complex and so elementary. It was beautifully weird and strangely common. _It's fate_, I thought._ This is what my fate is. This is how it was always supposed to be. _All my fears from before, everything I'd been fighting against, they all melted off like the snow on a hot, sunny day. I inhaled a ragged breath and released it, trying to get a hold of myself. I wasn't aware that I was crying until the tears hit my hands. I held one up, watching the drop of saline run down my wrist.

I laughed at the simplicity of it all. Was it really so easy? I'd been my own worst obstacle in this. If only I'd realized it all sooner. But, even as I considered that, I knew I hadn't been ready for all of this until tonight. I'd had to make every crazy turn on this journey to get here.

We floated back to the ground, the glow around us dimmed as we held each other so tenderly. Nothing would ever be the same. I smiled up at him, happier than I'd ever been or ever would be. He looked down at me, astounded.

"What the hell was that?" he asked.

My mind wandered back to when I'd been in his apartment all those months ago. I'd kept announcing that I'd accepted the imprinting. I remembered how disappointed I'd been that nothing magical had happened to seal the deal. I laughed, supposing I'd always innately known there had to be more to this.

"I can feel you. _Really_ feel you," he breathed in wonderment. "Nessie, what _is_ this?"

"My best guess?" I replied, delivering a swift kiss to his lips. "Fairy dust."


	51. Intents And Purposes

**Chapter Fifty-One: Intents And Purposes**

I was blind, but now I see.

In a nutshell, that phrase best described my current situation. I didn't fit into the categories of half-vampire or somewhat human anymore. While traits from both species remained inside me, I was now more, _so much more_. I could sense the turmoil inside Jake as this same brand of awareness and understanding slowly settled over him. He wasn't merely human and werewolf any longer. He was beyond those things. He struggled slightly under the weight of this latest development—something which I found particularly hilarious considering how easily he'd initially accepted the whole imprinting concept over me. (He, however, was less than amused by my outright laughter over the matter.) But, after a few stumbles, he found his footing.

For me, it was being a duck in water, like I'd been practicing for this my whole life. I considered that concept further. _Fate_, I thought with a little grin. _Yeah, maybe I have been preparing for this all my life._

The biggest difference for me was in my connection to Jake. As tightly bound as we presently were, I could not only pick up his feelings, but also his intentions. Sensing intent wasn't the same as experiencing his emotions, which were sometimes difficult to distinguish from my own. It also wasn't like reading his thoughts. (No, I can't read Jacob's mind. And, honestly, what woman really wants to hear every stray thought pulsing through her beloved's brain? Oh, I expect there'd be some things she'd want to hear. However, when her significant other leans over to give her a good morning kiss and she gets mentally slapped with his unfiltered thoughts on her rank morning breath, I'm fairly sure that kind of arrangement doesn't lead to happily ever after. Additional Note: My mother's ability to block my father from accessing every thought in her head is one of the reasons for their continued felicity as a couple. It's also one of the things that attracted my dad to her in the first place.)

No, sensing Jacob's intentions was different than anything I had ever experienced to date. Intentions are heavier than emotions and—I imagined—more specific and controlled than thoughts usually are. It was like being in a hot, humid room and blasted by a sudden, three-second stream of cold air. The more the intent evolved to actual purpose, the colder the air got. For example, if Jacob decided to storm outside right now, I'd have perceived it before he even took his first step. I assumed it was the same for him. To test this theory, I shoved a blatant intent his way involving his body and mine and waited for his reaction.

"Nessie," he growled in warning as he edged cautiously back from me. "We're at your prom. I guarantee you don't want to do that."

A Cheshire cat grin creased over my face as I moved forward and wound my arms around his neck. "Just testing," I said, reaching up to kiss him lightly. "But, later . . ."

He groaned, soaking up my lusty intentions like a biscuit in gravy and adding a few of his own to the mix. Capturing my mouth in a kiss, he jerked me tightly against him. His desire and love mingled with my own, creating quite a potent aphrodisiac. The next thing I was aware of was him being yanked away. With drug-heavy lids, I peered around, disoriented. Jasper was restraining Jake by the shoulders, keeping him separated from me. Meanwhile, Alice stood in front of me, hands on her petite hips. I withered under the heat of her most disapproving glare. (She's small and fun-loving, but that glare isn't something you want to mess with.)

"What were you two thinking? These thin curtains don't hide everything, you know. I swear, Nessie, if your father had seen you just now, up against a wall wrapped around Jacob like a pretzel, he'd rip my head off."

I tentatively felt the wall behind me, but was unaware how I'd gotten there. The last thing I remembered, Jake and I had been lightly kissing near the chairs. Now, my shoes were kicked off in different directions, Jake's tie was gone, and his dress shirt was ripped halfway down the front.

"Whoa," I exclaimed. (Note to self: Don't underestimate the power of the imprinting.)

Jake's little wink and the surge of lust coming from him was all that was needed to ignite my desire again. Our mutual longing seemed to loop inside of us, strengthening in intensity so cyclically that his want increased mine while mine fed back into his. All other thoughts became unimportant as I instinctively advanced toward him, suddenly captivated by his lips. He strained against Jasper's arms, trying to get to me. I couldn't move. _Huh?_ Something was preventing me. Looking over my shoulder, I saw Alice had me by the arm and wasn't letting go.

"Don't make me turn the hose on you two," she threatened.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, unable to maintain a focus on anything but my plan of ripping open the rest of Jacob's shirt with my teeth. (_And it's a good plan_.) Jake, who must have picked up on this intention, growled in response and wrestled vainly against his captor.

With a loud huff, Alice said, "Jasper, if you please."

Jasper immediately saturated us all in calm sobriety, which effectively cleared the residual lust from my and Jacob's minds. I blinked, trying to figure out exactly what was going on here. The first thing that became apparent was how angry my aunt was. (I'll admit that a heavy make-out session in the back of prom isn't the most refined or cultivated thing I could have done. But, Alice was overstressing here.) "Why are you so mad, Aunt Alice?"

"Because you're acting like a horny teenager when you should be enjoying your prom. Do you think this kind of thing happens all the time? Do you think you'll have a life full of opportunities like this? Why are you squandering the time you have le—"

"Alice!" Jasper cut in, his tone sharp and warning.

Every internal alert I had was sounding. My eyes darted back and forth between them, suspiciously. "What's going on here? What are you two keeping from me?"

Alice's expression closed up tighter than the hatband on Jake's fedora. Jasper inundated us all with a heavier dose of calm. I tried to shrug it off, but couldn't. I didn't need to look at Jake to see he was as uneasy with this as I was. Jake's intention to stand by me came through. He tapped into our mutual strength and freed himself from Jasper just as I slung away from Alice. _Wow, we didn't even have to concentrate to do that._ But, I didn't reflect on this latest development too long as Jake and I met in the corner of the little alcove and faced the two now across from us. Jointly, we were able to finally throw off the unwanted feelings Jasper had been forcing on us. The second the calm was gone, anger took over.

Jacob started. "What's going on, Alice? You've both been acting strange for weeks now. First, you mysteriously want to join Nessie's high school prom committee, then you throw yourself into planning this prom, and, tonight, Jasper decides to unload something onto Nessie that had her coming to me in tears."

"I don't know what you mean. I like planning parties. Everyone knows this. It's what I do," Alice sputtered, looking less self-assured than I'd ever seen her.

Jacob crossed his arms over his chest. "Yes, but with the Volturi right on our heels? That's odd, even for you."

"It was a diversion to get my mind off things," she explained. "That's all. You're being paranoid."

"No, I'm being fed a load of crap. What did you have Jasper say to Nessie? How does that fit into all of this?"

"How would I know what Jasper said to her? I was dancing with _you_, remember?"

"Which was probably all part of your master plan, right?" The fury in Jake's voice was palpable.

My mind raced. Could Jake be on to something here? All I'd been sure of before was that they were keeping something from me, but, having him connect the dots like this made me see that maybe something bigger had been brewing for weeks.

Jasper stepped forward, edging Alice behind him. "Leave Alice alone. Your issue is with me. I only said what needed to be said to Nessie. This struggle between the two of you had gone on long enough."

"Yeah, but why fix it now? Why tonight? We would have settled things between us soon enough without meddling from you two," he said before looking to me. "What exactly did he say to you, Nessie?"

"It doesn't matter now. I'll explain it all later," I said before turning my attention back to my aunt and uncle. "What are you two keeping from us?"

"Nessie, now is not the time. It'll ruin everything. This is your prom and you should—" Alice began.

"Tell us or all the calm in Jasper's arsenal won't be able to stop me and Jacob from losing it," I promised.

Her shoulders sagged in defeat. "It's probably nothing. I'm overreacting." She nodded, almost as though trying to convince herself. "Yes, I'm overreacting. That has to be what it is."

"Alice," Jacob growled.

Jasper placed a comforting hand on her shoulder before glaring at us both. "Back off, Jacob. You have no idea how trying all of this has been for Alice. She'll tell you, but you'll not bully the information from her. I don't care if you are a member of this family and Nessie's boyfriend—"

"Fiancé," I interjected.

Everyone jolted at my little announcement. Satisfaction and happiness gushed from Jacob. I smiled at him briefly before returning my attention to Alice and Jasper. I'd been expecting them to be elated at my news (especially Alice, who I was sure would fall into wedding-planning-induced euphoria.) Instead, they seemed subdued, anxious, and almost . . . depressed. It made no sense. In fact, Alice looked like I'd just been diagnosed with a terminal illness she wasn't allowed to tell me about.

Then, it hit me like a hailstorm of bricks.

"The vision you had before. You still believe I'm going to die when the Volturi come. That they'll kill me."

If vampires could cry, Alice would have been sobbing. She collapsed into one of the chairs. Her head hung so low that she rested it on her knees as she made a low, keening noise that sounded like that of a wounded animal. Jasper rubbed his hand up and down her back in a soothing motion, murmuring soft words into her ear. "It won't happen. We'll fix it, honey. Somehow, we'll fix it."

"Aunt Alice." My voice was almost a moan as I kneeled at their feet. "Tell me. Please, just tell me."

It took a while, but she finally raised her head to look at me, her black eyes were endless pools of grief. "When I first saw the vision of the Volturi, I thought you and Jasper would be killed. I was inconsolable."

I nodded numbly, remembering her reaction that night.

"I tried again and again to make the vision complete so I could see the outcome, so I could find a way around it, but there was no use. It would reach the same part each time and then fade to black. Jasper urged me to look beyond the Volturi coming, to see if I could see him a year from now. So, I tried and I succeeded." Her face brightened for a second or so before sorrow took back over. "Jasper and I were standing near the Eiffel Tower. We were enjoying another honeymoon in Paris. I could clearly see a newspaper and the date is April of next year. But, when I tried to see your future, Nessie, it wouldn't come. All I see is black, like your future doesn't exist, like _you_ don't exist."

The keening noise came from her throat again. I felt like I'd been punched in the stomach. Jake pulled me up to my feet and hauled me to his side.

"No," he said. "It won't happen. I won't let it."

Jasper looked at us both. "We couldn't tell anyone else. Just think of the pandemonium it would have caused. Nessie, your parents, they couldn't handle this. Nobody could." He closed his eyes for a second, as if he were trying to block out the mere image.

"It's taken everything we have to keep it from Edward. Sometimes, I hate how he can read minds," Alice added idly as though she were discussing the weather.

Jasper patted her shoulder and continued his explanation. "We thought if we could conspire to get things smoothed out between the two of you, Nessie might consent to hide when the Volturi arrive. It's all we could think of to save her life—as feeble a plan as that is. And, in case that didn't work, Alice threw herself into designing this prom to the last detail, trying to give Nessie a perfect night before . . ."

"Before I die," I finished, trying to absorb all of this.

"No!" Jake seethed.

"I could be wrong. I'm wrong! I know I'm wrong. I need to be wrong," Alice said more to herself than anyone else. "You'll hide, Nessie. Now that you and Jake are fully together, he'll have convinced you, right?" She shook her head. "Yet, I can't see it. I've looked and I've looked, but I can't see anything. Why can't I see?"

_I was blind, but now I see._

The phrase came back to me then. I almost laughed at the irony of it all, but caught myself in time. Stranger still, the news of my impending demise didn't make me want to run away. No, the knowledge freed me in a way I'd never experienced before. Instead of focusing on me, I could focus on the bigger picture. Instead of being blinded by my own fears, I could finally see—and accept—the only way this could play out. Yes, like a large game of chess, I could plainly see it all. In order to defeat the Volturi, I had to fight . . . to die. This was something that was destined to happen long before I'd even been conceived. In fact, I had no doubt it was the reason I was conceived at all. And, when the Volturi had come for me before, my family's maneuvering hadn't ended anything. It had merely postponed things long enough for me to mature and get to this point.

The time had come. I knew what I had to do and do it I would.

My voice was as resolved as I was. "I'm not hiding from them. I'll stand and fight."

"Nessie," Jacob pleaded. "No. We'll leave. We'll run away."

I turned to him, caressing his face. "No, Jake, I've run from my fate long enough. The Volturi would only catch up to us sooner or later. You know that. No, it's time to fight. And, if I'm destined to die at the hands of the Volturi, then so be it. But, I can assure you all, if I go down, they're going down with me."

Jacob and I stared at each other for the longest time, having an internal battle of epic proportions without saying a word out loud. Finally, he accepted how much I wasn't budging on this as well as his place in it. "Then, I fight with you. If you die, I die," he vowed.

As much as the idea of his death pained me, I knew it was the right thing. We were so interconnected now that neither could survive without the other. I gave a small nod and wrapped my arms around him. He crushed me to him.

"I love you, Nessie."

"As I love you, Jacob."

"Together," he declared, his eyes staring deeply into mine.

I nodded a final time. "Forever."

**A/N: ****Can't get enough "Daylight?" Well, here is a little nugget for my more avid readers. Visit my profile to get the link to the cover of my little fanfiction novel. Enjoy and drop me a line to let me know what you think! **


	52. Opportunity Knocks

**Chapter Fifty-Two: Opportunity Knocks**

If my life were a movie, this would have been the part where they played the cool training montage overlaid with the _Rocky_ theme. In it, I would make a few clumsy mistakes at first, but—being my ever resilient self—come back strong kicking major booty. In short, I'd go from zero to hero in five minutes flat.

Instead, five minutes was how fast I was knocked on my—

"Nessie!" Jasper snapped. "Not good enough. Do it again."

I got to my feet and dusted myself off. "You know, just because I'm less breakable than a human doesn't mean a blow to the stomach doesn't hurt, Uncle Jasper."

"Then, I guess you'll block it next time, won't you? Focus!"

(FYI: Guilt trips apparently hold no sway on my uncle when it comes to hand-to-hand combat instruction.)

I retook my battle stance with barely enough time to evade his attempt to grab me. I slipped through his grasp and came around with a swift, roundhouse kick, which missed him completely. He'd whooshed out of range, but that was just what I'd wanted him to do. Focusing, I tapped into the strength I shared with Jacob and, just as Jasper blurred close enough to deliver his next punch, I slammed the heels of both hands into his stomach with everything I had and propelled him across the field like a limp ragdoll.

(_Oh, yeah! Who should be blocking now, huh?)_

Zooming half the distance to Jasper by the time he'd shot back to his feet, I'd intended to hit him again when I inexplicably growled and pounced in the opposite direction, holding my hands out mid-air. The second my back turned, Jasper took advantage and swept my legs out from under me. My body hit the ground with a _thwack_.

(_Sheesh_.)

A strategically-placed boot between my shoulder blades glued me to the ground and even made sure my face got a humiliating dunk in the dirt. "You did it again, didn't you?" Jasper, owner of the torturous boot, asked.

I let out a disgruntled whine of frustration as I spit dirt from my mouth. Yep, I'd done it again. _Damn it. _

The good thing about the imprinting taking over was that Jacob and I could now merge and double our powers of strength, speed, or agility with ease. There was no need to "send" each other anything anymore. It was like the enhanced skills were already in a joint bank account that we only had to concentrate in order to gain access to. (No, I still could not transform into a werewolf—_Thank goodness_! Additionally, Jake could not access my visualization power. However, everything else, we shared.)

The bad thing was that this pooling of resources had an unfortunate side effect. In addition to our abilities, emotions and intentions became mutual territory as well—except we didn't have to concentrate to access those things. They were always there, flying back and forth between us like ping pong balls, intermingling, changing, and then shooting off again. (The point: It had been Jacob's intention to pounce back there, not mine. And, since I'd gotten our intention "wires" crossed, I'd ended up face down in the dirt.) I frowned over at the love of my life. He, in his wolf form, currently had Emmett pinned to the ground using our super-strength to hold him there.

"Not fair, Jake," Emmett grunted, struggling against his furry prison.

"On your feet, Nessie," Jasper ordered, regaining my attention.

I groaned. "Why don't we skip the fighting and leave me here?" I muttered. "It's where I'm gonna end up anyway."

"We don't have time for jokes. Now is the time for training. Get up!"

To Jasper, it was _always_ the time for training. In the weeks following prom, I'd spent every second I wasn't in school training. (Yes, I'm still in school. It's the only break I get these days and gives me a much-needed chance to hang out with my friends.) Free time was thing of the past. My schedule got so full that I started calling Jasper "The Training Nazi" behind his back. I also developed a new understanding for the word "exhausted." Not that I really thought my uncle was being unreasonable. Every minute counted until the Volturi got here. The more skills I had, the longer I'd last on the battlefield. (_And the more of the Volturi I could take out_.) Of course, this was not something Jasper had ever said to me, but the underlying desperation and determination in his actions made this viewpoint loud and clear. The days of laughing and joking with him were over. He was committed to arming me the best he could. Similarly, I owed it to him—and to my family—to be equally committed to learning all I could. So, with this in mind, I rose to my feet and prepared to fight again.

We trained another three grueling hours before Mom called a halt to things.

"Give us another hour," Jasper said, rubbing his jaw with one hand as he beckoned me forward with the other. (I'd just managed to land a pretty satisfying side kick to the side of his face.)

Mom, however, refused to be put off. "It's eight o'clock, Jasper. Renesmee needs to eat and sleep before she goes to school in the morning. Whatever it is will keep until tomorrow."

"Bella," he argued, "I'm in charge of Nessie's training, and—"

Mom was less than impressed. "How many times do I have to tell you people that motherhood trumps everybody?"

Jasper clenched his jaw. He was outmatched and knew it. Glumly, he gave his assent for me to leave. I sighed and hobbled toward the house. (If it was eight, I'd been training for four hours straight. I was surprised I could still walk. If I was a regular human, I'd have been in the emergency room in a full body cast.)

"I'll be in momentarily, Mom," I called. She nodded and returned to the house.

Jake, who had likewise ceased his activity, ran to the edge of the woods. (No doubt to transform and put on some clothes.) Emmett waited for us to catch up.

Sighing, I stretched my sore muscles. I was drained and rundown. All these weeks of strategizing, drilling, and anxiety were wearing on me. Then, there was the constant arguing. The second everyone found out about Alice's vision (or lack of one) concerning my future, chaos erupted. Emmett, Esme, Carlisle, and Rosalie had their own approaches to try to convince me to run from the Volturi. (Emmett's was my favorite. He challenged me to a bout of arm wrestling. If I won, I could stay. If I lost, I agreed to run. The only catch was that I couldn't tap into my superpowers with Jacob. I graciously declined.)

But, no matter what was said to me, I held my ground and refused to budge. After a while, they seemed to accept that it was ultimately my life, my decision to make. That Jake, Jasper, and Alice backed me fully seemed to help. (Alice refused to believe that I was going to die while everyone else would live, and Jasper kept swearing that, by the time he got done with me, I'd be able to take on every Volturi member single-handedly.)

Nahuel and Huilen silently abstained from voicing opinions on the subject and spent more time by themselves in the surrounding woods than anything else. (I think it was all the family conflict that made them uneasy.) However, from time to time, Nahuel would join us on the training field to help with my instruction.

Seth, Quill and the other wolves, of course, were firmly on my and Jacob's side. It wasn't so much about me having a choice with them. It was more that they didn't truly believe any harm would befall us. They'd never seen an imprinting like Jacob and I. This gave them a prideful conceit that our combined powers would ultimately lead to the undoing of the Volturi. If anything, they wanted the Volturi to get here sooner so they'd have front-row seats to the supreme butt kicking they felt sure Jake and I'd be able to deliver.

When it came to my parents, the vote seemed split. Mom argued with me at first. But, once she realized how committed I was—how carefully I'd thought everything through—she stopped talking. She stared Jacob in the eye for a long time. He kept her gaze, not even blinking. There seemed to be a wealth of communication passing between the two of them, but none of it verbal. Even imprinted with Jacob, I didn't know what was going on. Without a word, Mom broke her eyes away from him and turned back to me. She'd kissed my forehead, held me tight against her for a few minutes, and excused herself to go upstairs.

Dad, however, completely lost his mind. I had no less than ten—_yes, I said ten_— clashes with him. He refused to even hear me out. He just kept issuing orders. If it hadn't been for Carlisle and Esme reminding him that I was an adult with the right to make my own decisions and Jacob physically standing between me and Dad, I had no doubt I'd have been thrown into the back of his Volvo long ago, on my way to some undisclosed location. I'd never seen Dad this unhinged before, but his explosive fits became an almost daily occurrence. Our fifth argument was so bad he tossed his piano through the living room window when I refused to even consider the idea of leaving. Our tenth argument was worse than that.

"Nessie, you don't have a chance against the Volturi. We're leaving. End of discussion."

It took everything I had not to bristle at his holier-than-thou tone. "No. I'm staying."

"I forbid it. I'm your father. You will do as I say. I'll kidnap you if I have to."

I snorted. "Good luck with that. With my and Jacob's united strength, it'll take more than you to kidnap me."

"You've got to sleep sometime, little girl," he said, taking a menacing step toward me. I could see the agony burned into his expression, the hollow desperation of his eyes. But it didn't soften my resolve one bit.

Jacob edged between us as my father reached for me.

"Move, Jacob," Dad snarled, as Jake shoved his hand away from me.

"No, Edward. You don't get to touch her right now. You need to calm down first."

"You think you can tell me what to do with _my_ daughter? You think because you've got some Indian voodoo connection to her you're going to supersede me? That engagement ring on her finger doesn't change a damn thing when it comes to this. We had a plan. You were going to talk her into hiding. Don't you recall that? What happened?"

Jake shrugged. "Plans change. She wants to stay. She stays."

Dad glared down at him for a moment before clearly deciding to change tactics. It made me wonder what he'd read in Jacob's mind. All I'd been able to pick up on was grim determination from my beloved. "She's going to die. Don't you give a damn about her, Jacob? Don't you care?"

"I'll die _for her_, if that's what it takes," Jacob said, solemnly.

The smile that appeared on Dad's face was mocking and sinister. "I might help you to that end, mutt. Now move so I can reason with my child."

"No."

Dad's pale fist was a blur as it slammed it into Jacob's jaw, sending him lurching back. Jake quickly regained his composure and put himself toe-to-toe with my father again.

"It's still a no, Edward," he said, fists held to his sides. I could feel how hard it was for him to hold his aggression in, but he did it. For me.

I watched as the two most important men in my life glared at each other down. They weren't my father and fiancé right then. They were vampire and werewolf, mortal enemies about to tear each other to shreds.

"Edward. Jacob." Mom's voice tore through the tension like teeth through flesh.

They both looked at her and, in that instant, I was transported back to a time before I was even born. This was how it was when they'd both loved and wanted her so fiercely. Just as quickly as that thought popped in my head, I discarded it. That wasn't what was going on here.

Without another word, Mom took Dad by the hand and pulled him out of the house. They were gone all night and on into the next day. When they returned, Dad was still furious, but he kept his mouth shut. I wasn't sure what she'd said to him exactly, I only knew a fragile peace of sorts had settled over the house. Things were far from over, but I was grateful for a break in the conflict.

Unfortunately, there wasn't a break in tension. Jasper trained me day in and day out while the rest of my family either treated me like a porcelain doll who might shatter at any moment or took turns injecting as much combat and Volturi knowledge into my brain as they could until I felt like I was drowning in pressure, information, and stress.

So, more than a bath, food, or a bed, right now as I tottered off the training field with my stoic uncle at my side, the thing I needed most was to laugh. I was getting into a funk and I knew if I didn't do something to maintain a feeling of normalcy, I'd fall back into that horrible depression that had kept me prisoner only a few months ago. Thus, I tried to make light conversation with Jasper as we trudged along together.

"You and Aunt Alice got any super-secret, romantic plans this weekend?" I teased.

"My only plans include you and this training field."

I abruptly stopped walking. He stopped as well and stared over at me. Enough was enough. I was going to get my way here. I was sure he could pick up on my determination. "Nice footwear," I said, nudging him with an elbow. "I didn't know you were into cowboy boots."

I held his gaze, begging him with my eyes to give me this all-too-brief moment of levity. At last, Jasper's eyes flipped down at the black boots he was wearing. Looking back up at me, he produced his first smile in weeks, an all-Southern-boy grin. "Well, I'm originally from Texas, you remember. We practically invented cowboy boots."

I chuckled. "How do you keep from sliding in those things out there? They don't have any traction."

"Practice," he answered, giving me a cocky wink. "When I get done with you, you'll be able to fight in three-inch stilettos."

I gave a fake grimace. "How about flip-flops?" I replied. "They're far more comfortable."

His small chuckle lightened the mood considerably. I sighed in relief, and we walked on. As we finally made it to Emmett and a now-clothed Jacob, the laughs continued as Emmett had a blast reminding my beloved of the time he'd pinned him on the ground.

"Of course, you're forgetting the thirteen times I pinned you," Jake retorted.

"Only cause you cheated by using the imprinting. Besides, I left my good luck charm at home tonight. I didn't want to waste it. But, don't you worry. On the big day, I'll have it on me. Then, those Volturi won't know what hit 'em."

We laughed as we got closer to the house. Unfortunately, then we spotted my father sitting on the porch and that brought a swift end to all amusement and gaiety.

"Oh, don't stop on my account," Dad dryly remarked, a sinister chuckle issuing forth from his mouth. "When the opportunity knocks for frivolity, it is our duty to partake, right? I believe the saying goes something along the lines of 'Eat, drink, and be merry for tomorrow we may die.' Correct?"

"Edward, it isn't like that—" Emmett began.

Dad shot from his seat to the railing of the porch, gripping the white wood so strongly I feared he'd smash it to smithereens. "Isn't it?" he demanded.

Emmett's hands went up in surrender. "I don't want to fight with you, brother."

Dad zoomed from the railing to Emmett's face in two seconds flat. "Then, you should have spent your time trying to talk my daughter out of this suicide mission she's so set on, _brother, _instead of helping her to kill herself."

"Edward, calm down," Jasper said.

He poured buckets of serenity over everyone, but it didn't seem to make a difference. Dad was panting like a runner who'd just finished a marathon.

"It's going to be fine," Jasper continued, reaching out to touch Dad's arm. "We're training her. She's picking things up quickly. She's got the imprinting and Jacob. She'll be fine."

"That's what you _say_, but it isn't what you _think_," Dad hissed. His index finger tapped a few times against his own temple. "You can lie to everyone else, Jasper, but I know what you're _really_ thinking. Remember?"

It was my turn to intervene. "Dad—"

"No, we've all given into this tantrum of yours long enough. We're running out of time. Don't you understand? You won't win against the Volturi! Even you know that."

"I know no such thing."

"You'll die, Nessie." His shoulders slumped and his hands fell limply against his sides. I'd never seen my father look so defeated. "How is that winning?"

"The Volturi will be destroyed. Nobody else will be hurt. That's winning in my book."

"Your death isn't worth that."

"Ending the Volturi _is_ worth dying for."

"Do you hear yourself? Do you?" He waved me off as though he'd won the argument. "If you leave before they get here, the rest of us can stay to deal with them. Besides, it's Nahuel they're after, not you."

"You think I'd let him die so I could be safe? How could I live with myself?"

"I don't care how you do it, as long as you live."

I decided to hit this from a different angle. "They know I'm the child of a singer, Dad. I'm just as much a target as Nahuel is, maybe even a bigger one since I'm also a Cullen."

"It doesn't matter. We'll deal with that later. It's better this way. You'll run, you'll be safe, and—"

"They'll kill all of you and come after me anyway. How is that better? At least my way, the only one to die is me."

"And me," Jacob affirmed, taking my hand in his.

I swallowed hard at him saying that. Even though I'd accepted Jake's stake in this, it didn't make it any easier to hear him to say it out loud like that. Nevertheless, I nodded to him before turning my attention back to my father.

Dad opened his mouth as though he was going to yell at Jake, but something seemed to change his mind. His eyes flew to me as he cocked his head. "If you left, Jake could go with you. He'd be safe from harm. Surely," he all but crooned to me, "you don't want him to die as well. Do you, Nessie?"

My father was hitting below the belt. He was also acting more like a true vampire than I'd ever seen him. I hated that he felt so desperate, but I understood his motivations. I imagine, if our situations were reversed, I'd have done the same. This understanding, however, didn't stop me from fighting fire with fire. "Picking fears out of my head to use against me is beneath you, Dad. It's more along the lines of something Aro would do, isn't it?"

Edward Cullen jumped back as though I'd struck him. He stared hard at me, his expression almost unreadable. Yet, for all that, I could sense a crack in his dark veneer, a vulnerability. So, I moved in for the kill. _Please, Dad_, I thought directly at him. _Please understand how much I have to do this. I don't want to die. I don't want to leave you and Mom. But, you raised me to stand up for myself. That's what I'm doing. I'm standing up for me and my kind before the Volturi destroy us into extinction. How can you ask me to turn my back on the very principles you and Mom gave me? Please, Daddy, I need your support. I love you. Please, don't let my last weeks on this earth be spent fighting with you._

Dad flinched against the barrage of everything I was sending him. Jake looked uneasily from me to him, no doubt picking up on the depth of my sorrow, but unsure what I was telling my father. Before I could draw in another breath, I was in Dad's embrace. "Oh, Nessie. My sweet girl," he said, his voice cracking against the swell of emotion. "I beg you. Don't do this. I can't bear to lose you, dear one. I just can't."

I held onto him, sobbing into his chest. "I'm sorry, Dad. I'm so sorry, but it has to be this way. It has to."

He whimpered into my neck and hugged me tighter. "You're so young, so weak."

I tapped into the super-strength and squeezed Dad hard around the waist. He wrenched back a little from me with an "Oww!"

I smiled a watery smile up at him. "Not as weak as you might think."

A moment went by before he kissed me on the forehead and said, "Your mother was right."

"What do you mean?"

"You are more stubborn than both of us."

I laughed and cried at the same time. Dad pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and handed it to me. It was a quintessential Edward Cullen gesture. He'd been born at the turn of the twentieth century, and, no matter what species he now was or how much life changed around him, the morals instilled in him from that time gone by would never truly leave. I took the linen square and used it to mop my face dry.

"I'm never going to be all right with this," he declared.

Yet, even as he said that, I knew the days of us being at each other's throats were done. He might not ever approve of my actions concerning the Volturi, but he wasn't going to try to stop me anymore either. It wasn't perfect, but, as a compromise, I'd take it.

"And I'm never going to change my mind," I replied, handing him back the handkerchief.

He looked intently at the white cloth for a while, and I could see that, in addition to my tears, there was a fair amount of dirt smeared on there as well. Dad finally looked back at me. "I told you once that there was no place for martyrs in this family. And, there isn't. But, if you're determined to do this, you won't do it alone."

"Dad—"

"No." He threw up a hand to stop me from speaking. "You have your principles, my dear. I know because I helped teach them to you. If you're determined to stand up to the Volturi, I'll stand with you, to the end. I don't care what Alice has seen for my future. If you die, I die. It's as simple as that."

"Me too."

We all looked over in time to see Mom descend the last stair of the porch. She sped over to stand beside Dad before giving me a small smile.

"Us as well," Carlisle said, emerging from the house and bringing Esme with him.

"Don't forget me," Rosalie said, coming behind them with Alice. "If one of us goes down, we all go down."

"Well, I'm always up for a good fight," Emmett declared. "The Volturi have had it coming for a long while now."

Alice zipped to Jasper's side. Sharing a look with him, she turned back to me. "Our future has always been tied to this family, Nessie. Count us in, too. To the end."

"Yep," Jasper said with a steadfast nod.

From behind the greenhouse, Huilen and Nahuel came into view. "And us, Nessie," Nahuel said. "They killed one family of mine. I'll not stand idly by while they threaten another. We shall fight as well."

"And die," Huilen appended, somberly, "if that is what is required."

The pack was there as well. Leah and Seth, still in wolf form, growled their participation while Quil said, "Don't forget about us. We're in this, too."

"Damn right," Embry added. "Those Volturi are toast."

I looked at each one of them, overwhelmed. I couldn't speak. I was filled with pride, happiness, sorrow, and horror all at the same time. They were willing to die with me, every one of them. They'd always been willing to face down the Volturi, to try to find a way to maneuver a way around them. But, to freely agree to die at my side, it was too much. Jacob gripped my hand, delivering a light squeeze. I squeezed back.

In the end, there was nothing to say. They took turns hugging me. I let them, not wanting to think about how much this felt like a goodbye. After a while, we returned to the house to eat and sat chatting around the dining room table. It was the first time we'd done this as a real family in so long. It was nice. The anxiety and tension was still there, like an unwanted guest staring from the window, but, for tonight, it was at least kept out of this room.

I sat back and took it all in, letting the sense of normalcy nourish me in a way that food couldn't. Dad, Carlisle, and Jasper debated the best strategies for training me while Nahuel was trying to describe the deliciousness of chocolate cream pie to Huilen, who looked mildly disgusted to see him consuming such a thing. Even Leah, who was normally more subdued and almost sullen in comparison to the rest of her pack, did her part to keep things light by teasing Jake for getting pinned by Emmett. Jake took it all in stride and dared her to do better. She laughed and told him she'd be on the training field tomorrow afternoon to do just that. Seth and Embry fought over the last pork chop while Esme, Rosalie, Alice, and Mom fussed and brought out more food from the kitchen. Emmett was in deep discussion with Quil over something that kept the young werewolf wide-eyed and fascinated. It wasn't long before Seth and Embry were pulled into this conversation as well. As soon as I heard the words "Batman" and "Holy," I rolled my eyes, laughed, and purposefully tuned them all out. (The Batman Club rears its ugly head again.) Throughout it all, Jake kept a tight hold on my hand, squeezing every now and again. I squeezed back and smiled at him.

_This_ was what I needed. _This_ was worth dying for.

—**D—**

I jolted awake and looked around, disoriented. I was on the couch in Jacob's apartment covered with a blue blanket. _Where's everyone else?_ The last thing I remembered was me, Quil, Embry, Emmett, and Jacob trudging up to the apartment to watch season one of the old _Batman_ series. (I'd been so starved for peaceful family time that I'd actually agreed to watch with them. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.) I suppose I must have fallen asleep. Being alone only made all the uneasiness and fear of the impending Volturi I'd been pushing away come boiling to the surface. It was a slippery slope threatening to send me careening back into the land of depression. _No, not going there, _I thought. I shoved it away, threw off the blanket and rose from the couch.

"Jake? Quil? Embry? Emmett? Anybody?"

"Nessie, stay there. I'll be right out."

Jake's voice came from his bedroom. The door was slightly ajar.

"OK," I replied, unsure what all the guys were doing beyond that door. There was only a bedroom and a bathroom back there, after all. My curiosity, however, didn't translate into me sticking my head around said door to check things out. (Last time I did that, I accidentally caught Embry coming out of the shower and saw a LOT more of him than I ever wanted to. I'd blushed for a solid hour after the incident, and Embry still couldn't look me in the eye.)

Within a minute or two, Jake pushed open the door and came into the living room. His hair was wet and stuck his scalp, his chest was bare, and he had a beige towel cinched firmly around his waist. I didn't care about any of that. I needed security. Without thought, I raced to him, throwing myself into his arms. He accepted me with nothing more than a soft "Oomph."

"I felt your confusion and fear," he said, "but I'd just put shampoo in my hair and had to get it out. Everything all right, darlin'?"

I snuggled deeper into his damp chest, not even caring that my shirt was soaking up all the water. Groaning, I relished the comfort of our bond. I loved how easy this was, how simply touching him was enough to make my world OK again. I wondered how I'd gotten by so long in my life without this. _Why on earth did I fight it for so long?_

Jacob gently rubbed his hands up and down my back, no doubt picking up on the fears I'd been battling. "It's all going to work out," he murmured against my hair.

"I'm with you. That's all that matters," I replied.

Nothing else needed to be said. We held each other and simply basked in the serenity of our connection. I drew comfort from him and gave that comfort back to him twofold. He sighed against me, and I relaxed into him.

It took a while before I became aware of the prevailing silence in the apartment. I pulled away and looked around. "Where is everybody?"

"Leah and Seth are back on sentry duty."

"Yeah, that I remember. But, where are Quil, Embry and Emmett? Last time I checked, they were in here watching _Batman_."

"They did for a bit, but Quil and Embry got bored." He smirked. "Emmett was quite disappointed at their lack of attention span. In any case, they've been restless here lately and, with all the excitement from earlier, they had a little excess energy to run off. They're going to spend the night in the woods. Emmett and Rosalie took off with your mom and dad to hunt. Don't worry. They promised to be back by dawn."

I nodded and let him finish explaining.

"You were passed out on the couch when your parents and Rosalie came to get Emmett and tell us they were leaving. It was obvious at dinner how exhausted you were. They wanted to move you, but you were sleeping so peacefully, I didn't want you disturbed. Since you were asleep, I decided to grab a shower."

"Well, I'm certainly awake now," I said, boldly. I smiled as I considered this rare opportunity before us. My ever-widening smile confused him.

"What, Nessie?"

My feelings and intent should have been plain for him to comprehend. I studied him, wondering how long it was going to take for him to put it all together. I decided to give him a big hint and moved so that my body was barely touching his.

"The wolves are in the woods," I said.

He took a big step away from me, a flirtatious grin spreading over his face. _Oh yeah._ He'd picked up on what I was thinking all right. He edged back from me, putting a large gap of space between us. "And?" he urged.

"Mom and Dad are off hunting with Emmett and Rosalie. They'll be gone _all night_." I eased toward him just as he darted out of reach.

"And?"

I prowled onward, stalking him like prey now. "Well, let's see. My parents are gone. The wolves are out of the apartment, and you and I are all alone for the first time in weeks."

He let out a low chuckle as he put more distance between us. "And?"

"And I love you and you love me and we're engaged."

We'd progressed to his bedroom by this point.

"A-a-and?" he prompted, faltering a little when the back of his calves unexpectedly bumped into his bed. He looked down briefly, surprised at how quickly we'd made it in here. Just as fast, he crossed his arms over his wide chest, cocked his hip and leered at me. "And?"

I leered right back. "And your towel looks like it's about to fall off, Mr. Black. I could help with that, you know." I closed the bedroom door behind me with a loud _thump_. I leaned against it and, like a good predator, waited for my prey to realize he was caught.

The noise seemed to jolt Jacob from his playful mood. He eyed me carefully, all traces of mischief drained from his face. "The Volturi—"

"Have nothing to do with this," I finished, pouring every bit of desire I had for him into our mutual pool of resources. This was our moment and I wasn't going to waste a second of it. (When you have a telepath for a father, an empath for an uncle, nosy vampire relatives with super acute hearing, and a pack of werewolves sleeping at your fiancé's apartment, opportunities like this are few and far between.) I wanted this man standing before me. I loved him. He was mine. I was his. Nothing else mattered.

His body went rigid as my desire mingled with his own inside him. He tried to hold on to the last dregs of his control. It was a losing battle, but Jake still tried. "You're sure about this, Nessie?"

The click of the lock on the bedroom door was the only reply I needed to give.


	53. Whose Seduction Is This, Anyway?

**Chapter Fifty-Three: Whose Seduction Is This, Anyway?**

I had expected that the second the bedroom door was locked, Jacob would have me slammed up against the wall, ripping off my clothes and kissing me so passionately my toes would curl.

Instead, he ambled up to me, a seductive grin slowly lifting the edges of his mouth. We stared at each other. Our combined desire had left me so dazed that my head sagged weakly against the door. My lips parted, waiting for him to kiss me or pull me to him (or, you know, ravage me like the hunky hero always does in romance novels).

But, instead of doing any of that, Jake's hand lifted and grazed the top of my head. His fingers skimmed over my locks and down the side of my face until they circled the base of my neck. His thumb rubbed along the edge of my jaw down my throat and back again. My breasts thrust out all on their own, pushing against his naked chest. Jacob leaned in, but didn't kiss me. I groaned, growing frustrated. (After all, I'm about to liquefy into a pile of goo and Jacob's acting like he's changing a light bulb. Note for the fellas: This is not the kind of behavior a woman wants to see at a time like this.) _What happened to the man whose control was crumbling around him? _I untangled his emotions from my own, but felt only a strong determination overpowering everything else. He was a man on a mission. It confused me. He intended to make love to me. That much was clear, but, apparently, he was going to take the scenic route to get there. My frustration ratcheted up another notch.

He fished behind my back to pull up my long braid. Puzzled, I watched him hold it in his palm for the barest of seconds before unwinding the brown band at the end of it. Then, he methodically unbraided my hair, massaging and working up my scalp until coppery waves cascaded around my shoulders and down my back.

"Beautiful," he breathed, stepping back to admire his handiwork.

I smiled. (Frustrated or not, I couldn't help it.) He smiled back. I walked forward and placed my hands on his chest.

"I love you, my Nessie," he sighed, drawing me into him as he nuzzled my neck.

"I love you," I said.

A tremor vibrated through him, and I could tell he was fighting to reign himself in.

"Why are you holding back?" I asked, tracing circles on his pecks. "I want you. Take me. I'm yours. You're not old fashioned enough to want to wait until we're married, are you? Because, I've got to say that—"

His lips closed over mine. I kissed him back with everything I had, plunging my tongue into his mouth. He moaned faintly in his throat and angled his head to deepen the kiss. His tongue lapped lusciously over mine, causing a tantalizing zing to race up my spine. Jake's hands left my waist and traveled up my stomach to clasp and squeeze my breasts through my shirt. My back arched as I silently begged him to continue.

He broke the kiss, gliding his hot mouth down my chin and neck as he rained kisses all the way to my collar bones. I angled my neck to give him better access, but I wanted more. _So much more._ I decided to speed this up a little. I stepped back and pulled the cumbersome shirt over my head and flung it across the room.

"So, beautiful," he murmured, his voice rough and thick with desire. "Wanted you for so long."

I filled our communal emotional pool with every bit of my lust and gave him my best come-hither look. "Take me, Jacob."

He closed his eyes against the onslaught. A hard shiver racked his body. Finally, his eyes opened and he looked reproachfully down at me. "You're not going to rush me on this, Nessie. This is your first time, and it's going to be perfect."

The man on a mission feeling was back in charge. Well, he wasn't the only one with a mission here. I popped the button the waistband of my jeans and shoved them down my legs. Once I had them and my shoes and socks off, I faced my soon-to-be lover. "It will be perfect. Because I'm with you. Now are you going to come over here or am I going to have to seduce you?"

"Darlin'," Jake declared with a wide grin, "I'm doing all the seducing tonight. You may get your way most of the time in this relationship, but not on this."

"Really?" I said, playfully fingering the lace edge of my bra. (Yeah, that took some of the amusement out of him, let me tell you.) "Because I'm getting kind of bored over here."

He growled as he backed me up against the door, palming my breasts and dropping soft, open-mouth kisses along the tops. His hands slipped down my ribs and past my waist to grab my butt. With a little yank, I was pulled into the air, slammed against the door, and wrapped around him. He ground his hips against me. I moaned and clung to him.

"Still bored?" he challenged.

"I—"

His mouth captured my retort. He kissed me so fiercely, so thoroughly that I lost track of time for a while. The next thing I knew, I was on the bed and he was settled on top of me. As his heated body brushed over my skin, I realized something.

"You lost your towel," I said, as he trailed kisses along my neck and down my chest to the valley between my breasts.

"You're about to lose your clothes, too," he promised. "Now, stop trying to distract me, woman. I got a plan here."

"You do?" I taunted with a snicker.

Instead of responding, he tugged one cup of my bra down, baring a breast. Before I could even think about being embarrassed, his mouth swooped down to suckle me.

I nearly came off the bed.

He chuckled and repeated his attentions with the other breast. I groaned as he laved and lightly bit my nipple. Jake leisurely feasted, back and forth between the two, until I was whimpering in need under him. _Oh. My. God._

His head popped up, one eyebrow sardonically arched. "Nah, you can just call me Jacob."

_Did I say that out loud?_ I was about to ask him, but he applied his lips and hands back to strategic regions of my body, and I lost track of things again. Somewhere in the midst of this, my bra disappeared. My legs opened of their own volition as he kissed and licked his way down my stomach. I trembled and arched under him.

"Jake," I rasped, "please." I wasn't sure what I was begging for. I only knew I needed it badly.

"You complaining again? I thought we'd cleared this up." As he spoke, his hand reached down to rub my core through my panties.

I jolted again, moaning as he petted me so expertly. He knew right where to touch me. (Personally, I blame the imprinting for that one. Not that I'm complaining.) Then, his fingers moved away to hook along the waistband of my undies and slide them down over my hips. He had them over my legs and on the floor before another second passed. I wasn't given time to think before he was once again touching me in my most intimate of places, skin on skin. I should have at least been self-conscious, but I was so overcome with desire I didn't care. I was drowning in this incredible pleasure. As his hand delved inside my folds to pillage me, a delicious tension was building. The higher it built, the more frantic my reactions, the more crazed I felt. While his fingers caressed, his mouth returned to worship my breasts. The combination was too much. I closed my eyes, thrashing against him. The blissful feelings mounted until I was sure I was going die from it all.

With one more stroke of his finger, everything inside of me released and a pleasure so intense inundated me. "Jake!" I shouted, spasming into a million pieces.

"You're welcome," he said with an arrogant chuckle.

Before I could even come down off my high, he was back at it again, caressing, rubbing, touching, kissing, and tonguing every inch of me. My hands raked over his back, wanting to arouse him as much as he was me. Through our connection, I could feel him still holding onto his control with an iron fist. Now that I'd had my first taste of heaven, I was determined to deliver the same to him.

My hands slipped down his back and gripped his bare butt.

"You're distracting me again," he muttered before sucking my nipple back into his mouth.

"Really?" I said before letting him go. "How about this? Is this distracting, too?" And, with that, I reached between us and fondled his manhood.

It was his turn to twitch against me. "Nessie," he warned.

"Hey. This is an equal relationship, buddy. What's good for the goose is certainly good for the gander." I circled the length of him, pumping up and down. That generated an even wilder response from him.

A breath hissed between his teeth as his hips thrust automatically moved along with me. I continued my actions, stretching up to nibble delicately along his neck and chest. He pulled back from me with a gasp, forcing my hand to release him.

"Nessie, if you don't stop, this is going to be over before it even begins."

I grinned and shrugged. "So, we'll do it again. Nobody gets it perfect the first time. Now, make love to me, Jacob Black, before I'm forced to throw you down on this bed and have my wicked way with you."

He laughed. "You're always going to be a bit of a hellion, aren't you?"

"You wouldn't have me any other way." I draped my legs around his waist and my hands around his neck. He groaned and rubbed his body against mine. I moaned and kissed him. After that, we didn't speak anymore. (At least, not in coherent, full sentences.) We worked together. He teased, tormented, and tantalized me while I massaged, mauled, and molested him.

He broke away only one other time. This was merely long enough for him to roll on a condom. By then, I was in such a passion-induced frenzy that I couldn't be still. His speed in completing the task—as well as our bond—highlighted his zealous need to be inside me. When finally his manhood was poised at my entrance, he stared down at me. "Forever."

"Forever," I affirmed.

And, with that, he slid inside, little by little, until he was buried fully within me. It was a tight, odd fit, a stretching sensation combined with the sense of feeling . . . full. There was no other way to describe it. Overhead, Jacob waited, holding himself immobile while I adjusted to all this. He gritted his teeth as he fought against the desperate instinct to pump ceaselessly into me. I felt it all. I wanted it just as much. For a moment, I was in awe at him and his control. No matter how much he yearned for this, no matter how pleasurable it was, he was set on protecting me. Finally, as I arched against him, highlighting my impatience, my need. He immediately eased back from me and then shoved forward.

The rush of pleasure was immediate and tremendous. It was so different from what I'd felt before. This was doubled, more complex and more concentrated. It also had a harder edge to it. When we moaned simultaneously, I understood why. This wasn't just my own rapture I was experiencing, it was his as well. Like intentions, abilities, and emotions, we shared this, too. Our eyes locked as he moved in and out of me, acknowledging all of this, feeling it all, loving each other on so many levels.

The tempo of his rocking increased. He seemed to unconsciously know just the right rhythm to benefit both of us. Without thought, I tilted my hips to take more of him. The second I did that, the friction increased as well as our mutual pleasure. (_Thank you, imprinting!)_ I leaned up to kiss him as we continued moving in this dance that was as old as time. He kissed me back, our tongues mating in cadence with our bodies.

The tension from before was back, but stronger. It also seemed to build faster this time now that it was shared. Jake broke our kiss and buried his face in the curve of my neck as he continued his plunge and pull. His hard-won control was gone. He was as trapped in this savage torment as I was. "Nes-sie," he panted. "Oh, yes. Love you. Love you. Mine. Mine!"

Jake made one, final thrust that liberated the tension inside of us. I cried out against the sheer ecstasy. Likewise, Jake stilled above me and began to shudder. "Nessie," he roared.

"Yes," I yelled. "Oh, God!"

Boneless, I melted into the bed as Jacob collapsed on top of me. Instead of suffocating me, the added weight felt good. I tightened my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist, hugging him close we enjoyed a few satisfying aftershocks. I'd never been so happy and contented in my whole life.

Jake was breathing like he'd run a great distance. (Come to think of it, so was I.) Balancing his weight of his elbows, he gave me a lazy grin. "Consider yourself seduced."

I laughed. He laughed. We laughed. When that faded, he disengaged from me and, in one motion, rolled off the bed and onto his feet. After a swift trip to the bathroom, he was back at my side. He lay on his back while I draped myself across his body. He pulled the covers up and arranged them around us. We stayed this way for a while. His fingers stroked soothingly up and down my back as I rested my cheek against his chest.

"Are you all right?" he asked. "It was your first time. I didn't hurt you, did I?" His hand paused on my back as he awaited the verdict.

I leaned up to look at him. "It was perfect, Jacob."

He smiled and continued with the light caresses. I propped an arm on him and rested my chin on my hand. "How about you? I didn't hurt you, did I?"

His body shook beneath me as he chuckled. "Feel free to hurt me like that anytime you want, darlin'."

I grinned and dropped a quick kiss on his chest. There was so much we should be talking about, so much we should be planning or worried about, but I couldn't concentrate on any of it. I was too content, too at peace. I laid back against him, drawing circles down his taut stomach. I wondered idly if lovemaking was always this phenomenal for everyone or if this was just a product of our love for each other and the imprinting.

Jake must have picked up on my feelings because he said, "What are you thinking about that has you so puzzled?"

I told him of my musings and waited for his opinion.

"It's not like this for everyone, just those who love each other as thoroughly as you and I love each other. The imprinting, I'm sure, just took it to a new level."

His confident tone had me considering something I'd never before thought about. I didn't want to spoil this beautiful moment, but I still had to know. "This was my first time, Jacob."

"Yes," he said, waiting.

"Was it also yours? I know you and Mom never—" I broke off, not wanting to think about that right now. "But, was there someone else while I was growing up?"

His feelings were all over the place. "Do you really want to know?"

I thought about it for a bit before making my decision. Knowing the truth wouldn't change my feelings for Jacob. Whatever had happened—if anything happened at all—was all before he and I were really together, before there was any true love between us.

I raised my head and stared at him. "Yes."

He exhaled heavily and lifted a hand to brush a clump of my hair out of my face. "You are right that nothing like that ever happened between me and Bella. But I was also not a virgin before tonight."

I wasn't hurt by his statement. Instead, I was more intrigued than anything else. "Go on."

"It happened shortly after we made it to Brazil. As you know, I wasn't fitting in very well with the family or the country."

I nodded.

"I was also having a difficult time adjusting to the idea of being bound to a half-vampire child. I didn't understand it. Everyone else I knew had imprinted with humans. That, at least was logical. Being with you wasn't. And as much as my feelings for Bella had settled into a more friend-like nature, the idea of being forever attached to her daughter and doomed to spend eternity surrounded by vampires seemed like an inescapable prison to me." He paused. "When it became too much, I rebelled."

This was fascinating to me. Jake and I were more alike than I'd ever imagined. "And?"

"Her name was Nadine, she was originally from New York and had come down to Brazil with a fiancé who had promised her the moon and the failed to deliver. I met her right after she'd found him in bed with another woman. She was thirty-eight, angry, in an unfamiliar city, and set on proving how desirable she was. I was eighteen, angry, in an unfamiliar city, and set on proving how much I was the master of my own fate."

"Did you love her?"

"No," he instantly answered. "It wasn't like that. It was just something that happened. Right place, right time. It wasn't about emotions, at least not any close to love. It was about proving things to ourselves and others, about finding out what we wanted from life and what we didn't."

"How long did it last?"

"Three days. Then, she went back to New York, and I went back to you."

"And after that?"

"There has never been anyone else until tonight. I swear."

I didn't say anything. I just laid my head on his chest and ruminated over everything he'd told me. My emotions were so jumbled in with his that it was hard to tell what anyone was feeling.

"Nessie," he said, his voice full of uncertainty and concern. "I'm sorry—"

"For what? For being human? For wanting to make your own decisions about your future? For choosing your own path? I've done all of that and more to you, Jacob. What do you have to feel sorry about?" I shrugged. "At least now I understand how you've been able to be so tolerant with me all this time. I thought you bucking for the Guinness Book of World Records of patience for a while there."

"But, you're not angry? Not jealous?"

"You chose me. What is there to be jealous about?"

"But, you were so jealous the night of Prom when Kyla touched me."

My head shot up again. "That's different. You and I are clearly together, and she dared touch what is mine. She's lucky I didn't rip off her head and go bowling with it. And, if she ever comes near you again, I'll do just that. But, with Nadine, you weren't in love with me yet. You hadn't chosen yet. You were still working things out. It's fine. I mean, in a perfect world, I wish you'd waited for me. I'd be lying if I said otherwise. But, I still understand why you did what you did."

All of this sank into him slowly. Then, he grabbed my face and kissed me, vigorously. I could barely catch my breath when he broke away.

"What was that for?" I asked.

"For accepting me, all of me. You're a truly a remarkable woman, Renesmee Cullen."

I blushed under the weight of such praise. "You're pretty spectacular yourself, Jacob Black."

"I didn't think it was possible for me to love you anymore than I already did, but I do."

My eyes softened as I smiled down at him. "I know what you mean."

He sighed against me, his hand resuming its light petting of my back. He seemed drowsy after our talk, but I couldn't have been more energized. I followed my instinct and ran a hand down his stomach and stroked the length of him.

He almost shot off the bed. "Nessie!"

I laughed and pushed the covers away as I straddled him. It felt pretty brazen to do this, but so right at the same time. "You know," I said, peering down at him with narrowed eyes. "This is supposed to be an equal partnership and, yet, I feel cheated."

He reached up to fondle my breasts. "How so?"

"Well, you got to seduce me and I haven't gotten a chance to return the favor."

He pretended to ponder this as he slid back to prop himself up against the headboard, bringing me along with him until we were face-to-face. "You're right. That doesn't sound fair." He ran the pad of his thumbs over my nipples.

I groaned. "You're not trying to distract me, are you?"

He grinned. "Never." He leaned forward to take a nipple into his mouth.

I closed my eyes, my head tilting back on its own. "Really?" I said when I could finally focus on speaking again. "Because it kind of feels like you are."

He abruptly released my breasts and frowned at me. "You know, if you don't hurry up, I'm gonna get bored."

I snickered and slid down his body until my head was hovering over his crotch. I caressed his hardness and paused long enough to look up at him before continuing on my mission.

"Nessie," he begged, picking up on my intentions.

"Still bored?" I asked before taking him into my mouth.

He gave a strangled moan.

(I took that as a "No.")

**A/N: In the immortal words of Jacob: You're welcome.**


	54. Revelations

**Chapter Fifty-Four: Revelations**

While my fellow students frolicked in sun-soaked locations during spring break, I trained. When they bragged about what college they'd be attending in the fall, I trained. While they set up study groups to prepare for the coming final exams, I—_you guessed it_—trained.

And I wasn't the only one.

Training schedules became a daily requirement for everyone in our house. I worked with Jasper, Emmett, and Nahuel every morning before school while Jake practiced maneuvers with his pack and whoever else was available. Then, I went to school and the rest of the family had their own sessions on the field. After school, Nahuel and I drove home and prepared to train again. This was where Jake and I worked on fighting as a pair against numerous opponents (i.e. whoever was willing and able to spar with us). All training ceased at dark, when everyone crowded around the table for dinner and/or to relate the events of the day. We also used this time to go over the finalized plans for dealing with the Volturi. Following this, everyone dispersed, free to do as they wished until the next morning. This was the best part of the evening as we, as a family, usually watched television, played games, or just spent quality time together. (We even taught Huilen and Nahuel how to play _Twister _one night. You haven't seen awkward and funny until you've played that game with werewolves, vampires, and half-vampires.) Of course, the anxiety of the coming battle with Volturi was still the elephant in the room, but the nightly leisure time helped to balance the overriding fear with laughter. This, in turn, made it more bearable for everyone.

There were some good developments that came from training. The first had to do with Alice's abilities. While Carlisle's mind strengthening techniques with Alice might not have lifted the black shroud covering her vision of what would happen once the Volturi arrived, but it did allow her to pinpoint the exact date they would get here, which was at daylight on May 8th. We, of course, planned to be in position hours before they showed up and intercept them in the field where Constantine had attacked me almost a lifetime ago. It also allowed her to see that Aro had added a few new members to the Volturi guard, members he would be bringing with him. Two females: One blonde and the other brunette. Unfortunately, that was all Alice could discern. She knew nothing about their specific skills or Aro's plans in conjunction with them.

Carlisle and Jasper made contact with a few, discreet, well-placed friends to try to find out more. They managed to discover that the blonde was Adelaide, who was able to detect one's greatest fear and use it to her advantage. Exactly how she accomplished that was something nobody seemed to know. Carlisle, Dad, and Jasper speculated that, like Jane and Alec, her power was a mental one that preyed on the minds of others.

The second member was a complete enigma to everyone. That she was a fairly young vampire who Aro kept perpetually close to side was all anyone was able to tell us. Alice, however, kept trying, hoping Aro would make some kind of plan involving this one which might give us more to go on.

The second development gleaned from training was we found that the new level of intimacy between Jake and me made it almost child's play for me to dissect his emotions and intents from my own. It was like my experiencing him while he was out of control—as he had been many times while in the throes of passion—made it easier for me to distinguish him from me. (Of course I never spoke this theory aloud. My family and I had established a Don't Ask/Don't Tell policy where my sex life was concerned. They were aware I had one, but were more than willing to pretend I didn't. Since this meant I didn't have to have awkward conversations about it, I was in complete agreement.)

The greatest thing about me being able to keep things separate was that it allowed Jake and me to battle almost like one unit. We could pretty much communicate without words. I used his intentions to pinpoint his next move and would then adjust myself to come to his aid. (Like setting up someone for a spike during a volleyball match.) He did the same, and we learned we could finish an opponent together a lot quicker than it would have taken by ourselves.

And so, day in and day out, we gave our all to training. We trained so much that the battle strategies became second nature to us all. It got so bad that one night I dreamed that I was training and socked Jake in the nose. (Good thing he heals quickly.) Likewise, we intently studied the Volturi members and their abilities until I felt like a walking encyclopedia on the subject. For example, did you know that Renata's main ability is that she can project a shield over anything she touches? This is why she is usually attached to Aro wherever he goes. Also, did you know that Chelsea's power is that she can discern and manipulate the emotional bonds between people? She is usually the first one at work when the Volturi comes to deliver a death sentence. She tears apart the ties between family members so Aro can "save" any of those with special abilities he might have an interest in. Similarly, she is used to strengthen the attachments between her fellow guard members, making them unswervingly loyal to the Volturi as well as Aro. (If this were a category on _Jeopardy_, I'd clean up.) The point is that we were as secure in the knowledge that we had done all we could to prepare for this. Whether it would be enough to save lives was something only time would tell.

A week before the Volturi were set to come, I attended school for the last time. (I'd decided that I needed every minute of the last seven days to train. Plus, it was getting harder and harder to be around fresh-faced youths with bright futures ahead of them.) I spent this last day attending classes and trying to keep up the pretext that I was just like my teenage counterparts—usually to strange results. Never was this more obvious than during lunch with Emma and Derek.

"Just think, in mere months, we'll be college freshmen," Emma said.

"Don't remind me," Derek answered with a grimace. "I'm missing you already."

Emma rolled her eyes, but still gave him a wink. "That's why they made cars. You won't be that far away from me." She turned her attention to me. "Did you ever decide which school you're attending?"

It took me completely by surprise—something I should have hid better.

Emma apparently read my face like a book with big print. "Oh. My. God," she exclaimed. "You're pregnant."

"What? No!" I replied, hating the blush heating my cheeks.

As far as Emma was concerned, it was like I hadn't spoken at all. "You do not have to be another statistic, Nessie. You're intelligent, and Jake looks like the type to stand by his woman. Although, what was he thinking not using a condom?" She shook her head in irritation before slapping on an _everything's-just-peachy_ smile. "It doesn't matter. We'll stick by you, too. Don't worry. Nowadays, pregnant women go to college all the time. Some colleges even have day cares available to—"

"Emma!" I grabbed her arms to stop her from talking. "I'm. Not. Pregnant."

This seemed to take a minute to sink in. She looked over at Derek before turning back to me. "Then why haven't you picked a college yet?"

"Actually, I haven't really had time to think about it." (Last I heard Dad had applied to a few schools in my stead, but, as I planned to be dead shortly, college applications weren't exactly on my list of priorities.)

"You better start thinking about it if you're planning to attend in the fall. Last time I checked, lawyers have to have college degrees," Derek said.

"How could you not be thinking about it, Nessie? Besides, you're going to be valedictorian. Don't you have the schools beating your door down?" Emma asked.

"It'll be fine, even if I have to wait and attend in the spring semester," I replied, waving their concerns off. "As far as valedictorian goes, I have some wonderful news to tell you both."

"What?" they chorused.

"It seems my inability to deliver a decent speech means Heidi Tindall has surged ahead of me in the race for valedictorian." I smiled wide.

Emma frowned. "She beat you? Why aren't you more upset?"

"I told you a long time ago that that didn't really matter to me. Salutatorian works just as well."

"Plus the salutatorian doesn't have to make a speech," Derek said.

I sent him a wink. "Exactly. Best news I've heard all week."

They both rolled their eyes at me. Then, Nahuel showed up at the table and the topic changed to more mundane areas. Similarly, Nahuel seemed on edge and added little to the conversation. I knew he was torn between the need to focus unencumbered by schoolwork and the melancholy of losing out on new learning experiences.

Our ride home from school was somber at best.

"When all this is over," I said when I couldn't take the quiet anymore, "will you go back to school? Maybe not here, but somewhere?"

Nahuel's unfathomable eyes leveled me. "What makes you so sure I'll survive this battle any better than you plan to?"

My heart squeezed painfully. "But, if you did," I pushed. "Would you return to school? You loved going. I know you did."

"Why do you ask? Why is it so important to you?"

I opened my mouth to speak, but found no words coming out. I didn't have a ready explanation. The silence rode between us like a third passenger until we less than a mile from the house. It gave me time to formulate a response.

"Nahuel, I've made my peace with the fact that I'm going to die, but I'm not all right with losing my family as well. That family includes you. I want you all to survive. Like those children at school, it's important to have plans for the future, even if you aren't sure you'll be able to achieve them all. It gives you a reason to want to get to tomorrow and the day after. I want you to have that."

He laughed, but it was humorless and biting. "I forget how young you truly are, Nessie. You say you've made your peace with death—and maybe you have—but I have not. I will not. I have survived over 150 years on this planet, and, in the few months I have lived with your family, I realized I have not experienced all that I wish to. But, I cannot focus on such thoughts now. I must only consider the Volturi. To dream of the future might bring you comfort, but such a thing would only do harm to me. It would emphasize all which will be lost to me because of Aro's greed. Then, to consider that your family is in danger because I am here—"

I pulled over on the side of the road and placed a comforting hand on Nahuel's shoulder. "We would be in danger anyway. Our coven is getting too big and too powerful for Aro's comfort. At least this way we can fight together. It gives us a better chance."

Nahuel's hand reached up to cup my jaw, running his thumb over my cheek. "You are a remarkable woman, Renesmee Cullen. And not for the first time do I wish that you had never imprinted on Jacob. I remember when I first saw you, both as a child seven years ago and as a woman in the field that day with Constantine. Both times I was struck with the same thought: That you were there just for me."

I grew ten shades of uncomfortable. "Nahuel," I began.

"Shh . . ." His finger rubbed against my lips for a moment before dropping away from me completely. "I meant no disrespect to you or to Jacob. You love him. You are his. I know this. I've accepted it. I only speak of things I wished to have." He laughed again, small and hollow. "Now do you see the danger in such thinking? Please forgive me. My loneliness has caused me to say things better left unsaid."

"You're not alone. You have the family and Huilen."

"But it is not the same as having a mate. This is something you know firsthand, is it not?"

I nodded, hating myself for even bringing it up, and moved away from him. My heart ached for him, for how alone he felt and how much he longed for companionship. _If there was more time, I would— _I would what? It wasn't like there was a line of hybrids waiting around the corner. Nahuel and I were unique, and as I was firmly with Jacob, who did that leave for Nahuel to be with? There was no ready answer.

Nothing else was said as I restarted the car and pulled back onto the road. We made it home a few minutes later, Nahuel got out of the car, and we never spoke of it again. But, thinking of the future was something that continued to plague me—not just Nahuel's future, but also my own, if I'd had one. _What would that entail? What would it even look like_? It wasn't something I'd ever let myself consider. But, once I did, it stayed on my mind for the rest of the day and even that night while I lay in bed with Jacob. (Yes, my parents knew I was there. Again, it was part of the Don't Ask/Don't Tell policy.)

"What's bothering you?" Jacob asked as I sighed against him. "It's like you haven't been here tonight."

"A lot on my mind."

"The Volturi?" It was a subject we hadn't touched on whenever we'd been alone.

"No," I replied. "Just thinking about the future. But, I suppose that's stupid considering the fact that my life expectancy is six days."

"It's not stupid."

I noticed he hadn't contradicted my life expectancy comment.

I looked up at him. "If we had a future together, what would you want it to be?"

"You."

I smirked at his stereotypical romance novel hero response. "Would you care to elaborate?"

He shrugged. "As long as you're with me, I don't care."

"C'mon. You can't mean that. You've had seven years to really think about this. What did you want?"

He grimaced, and I could feel his unease building. "Why talk about this now?"

I considered that for a moment before I told him of the conversation I'd had with Nahuel earlier.

"So, you want to play matchmaker?" he asked.

"There aren't any more half-vampires that I know about. Who would I match him with? Besides, talking about Nahuel's future plans got me thinking about ours. It's something we've never talked about beyond getting married."

"I see," he said. Feelings swelled between us. His aching despondency and yearn to push away these kinds of thoughts warred with my desperate need to reminisce over what would never be. He pushed an errant lock of hair away from my cheek. "We'd get married, of course. You, beautiful in a long, white dress, and, me, forced into a tuxedo by Alice. We'd get married on the reservation so everyone could be there and then leave for a honeymoon to somewhere exotic. But," he murmured, as he leaned over to give me a slow kiss, "we'd never make it out of the hotel room. Years would pass. You'd go to college, graduate and be a lawyer fighting for people—because you do that anyway. We'd settle down someplace in a small house too close to your family for my mental well-being and have a wonderful life. I'd run my own shop and you'd run your own practice. Later, we'd have a couple of kids of our own to drive us nuts when you're family wasn't doing so. Then, when people were staring to catch on that we weren't aging, we'd just find another place in another state or country and do it all over again, showing our children through example how family is what sees you through the bad times and love is the one thing nobody can ever take away."

He wiped at the tears collecting on my cheek. "Don't cry. I didn't mean to make you cry."

I shook my head. "That was beautiful, so beautiful."

He shrugged. "Yours would have been better, more details."

"Nope," I said, unable to hold back the sob cracking my voice, "that was pretty close to perfect. I want that future with you, Jacob. More than anything. I want—I wish—I …" I rested my head against his chest, unable to stop weeping for all we were going to lose.

Jake, unable to say anything, just held me close. I felt his body shudder against me and knew at once I wasn't the only one mourning and wishing for what would never be. He was too.

Somehow, that only made it all the sadder.


	55. By Dawn's Early Fight

**Chapter Fifty-Five: By Dawn's Early Fight**

Vampire or not, sleep was impossible for everyone the night before the battle.

By unspoken agreement, we all settled into the living room. The television broadcast different shows, but none of us really paid attention. Trivial conversations erupted every once and a while, but little else. We took strength from the serenity of being together, reminisced about old times, laughed at stupid jokes, and tried to not take any moment for granted.

Around midnight, couples started slipping noiselessly away. Emmett and Rosalie were first, followed by Jasper and Alice and Carlisle and Esme. Nahuel and Huilen excused themselves to go outside. The vampire couples wanted time alone to reconnect; Huilen and Nahuel wanted to reconnect to their beloved nature.

Likewise, Jake and I stood, preparing to return to his apartment. I hugged my parents fiercely, uncaring of the fact that I would see them again in mere hours. I also hugged Leah and all the boys. (Even Seth, who was glued to the phone talking to Anna.)

Once this was done, Jacob and I flew from the house to the apartment as though the demons of hell were chasing us. Clothes were scattered, kisses were exchanged, and love was made. Even as we paused between bouts to catch our breaths, we couldn't let go of each other. Words became unimportant now. Instead, we communicated in other ways. I clung desperately to him as we rode our mutual crests of passion like each time was the last. I explored every contour of his body with my tongue, reveling in the salty, earthy taste of him as he begged me never to stop. I didn't stop. I couldn't seem to get enough. I would never get enough. My love for him was the true immortal here. It would live on long after my death. I said all of this and more with every kiss, every caress.

Jake more than answered me in kind. His fingers played my body with the proficiency of Beethoven at the piano and each reverent press of his lips against my skin spoke of how he worshiped me. His fiery gaze declared his blatant need for me, not only in this bed, but also in each gasp of air in his lungs, each beat of his heart. I was his and would always be so.

Long before we wanted it to, the time came for us to rise. We showered together, trading deep kisses as we washed each other. Unwillingly, we left the bathroom to dress (me in jeans and a faded pink t-shirt and Jake in a pair of cut-offs). As we walked to the front door, he stopped and reached out to take my hand. I raised our interlaced fingers to my mouth, brushing my lips over his knuckles. He looped his free hand around my waist and pulled me close.

"I have no regrets about any of it," he said, his wild tone taking me by surprise. "If I had the choice, I'd do it all with you over again. The hurt, the pain, the indecision, the worry—even the Volturi. I'd do it all over again in order to love you, Nessie."

It was all I could do to prevent myself from weeping. I swiped at an escaping tear as I leaned up to kiss him. Pulling back, my voice was thick as I said, "I love you, Jake. I've always loved you. I might not have always known it, but it's true. No woman has ever loved you the way I do. No woman will ever love any man half as much."

Jake's kiss was searing, like he was trying to brand me. Then, without warning, he broke away and took me fully into his arms. My hands fastened around his neck as his locked around my waist. We hugged. My cheek rested against his chest. His chin rested on my head. There were no more kisses, no more passionate embraces leading to sex. This was just two lovers holding each other for dear life. I felt like I could have lived a million years just like that. But, it was not to be. All too soon, his hold on me loosened and he let go. Reluctantly, I did the same. He took my hand again in his and tugged me towards the door.

"Aren't you going to transform first?" I asked.

"I'll do it once we get to the field. I'd rather spend this time with you in human form."

"Why?"

He smiled, almost sheepishly. "So I can hold your hand."

In spite of what today would hold, I grinned like an idiot, my heart warming at this small, but telling gesture, and followed him out the door.

The rest of the family was waiting in front of the garage. Leah, Seth, Embry, and Quil were already in wolf form. Nothing was said as we made it down the stairs and, together, began walking to the field.

Once we were there, Jasper spoke in brief, declarative sentences, reminding all about their parts in the battle plan, ordering Alice to use her speed to her advantage, and telling me to remember I had feet and to kick whoever I needed to. When he seemed to run out of things to say, he wrapped Alice in his arms and fell silent. With one last squeeze of my hand, Jake stepped back into the woods, transformed into a wolf, and hurried over to his pack (to deliver his own orders via the pack plural telepathy, I was sure). Mom and Dad stayed near me. Besides a swift kiss to my forehead, Dad did nothing but stand there. Mom alternated between chiding me for not bringing a sweater, pulling me to her for swift, hard hugs, and reminding me of all the things Jasper had just finished reminding me of. With the innate knowledge only a child can possess, I didn't complain. Instead, I stood there and let her do these things that seemed to bring her some measure of comfort, nodding complacently whenever she spoke.

Emmett wore his usual, sardonic grin and was the only one who seemed enthusiastic. It was like he thought we were about to go to Disney World or something. Jasper scolded him, commanding him to be serious about the battle ahead. "This is life or death we're facing here, not a paintball game."

"Yeah," Emmett retorted, "because paintball would be harder. Don't worry. I got this."

"What makes you so confident?" I said, wanting any excuse for levity.

Emmett's chest puffed up like a blowfish. "I got a lucky charm, remember? If all else fails, it won't."

I remembered him mentioning a lucky charm a while back, but, at the time, it hadn't occurred to me to ask what it was.

"What kind of lucky charm?" I asked, thinking he would mention an old pocket watch from his human years or maybe the stereotypical rabbit's foot keychain. But, it wasn't either of those things. It was—

"_Batman_ underwear."

Even with everything going on, I couldn't help but chuckle at Emmett (especially when he jerked down the side of his pants to show that he'd indeed donned a pair of the superhero underwear I'd given him for Christmas.)

A chorus of laughter swept all around. Even Dad and Mom grinned. (This was mainly because, after showing off his underwear, my uncle proceeded to shake his booty in a ridiculous dance. Rosalie finally had to elbow Emmett into pulling his pants back up. His acquiesce to this reprimand, however, didn't mean he'd lost an ounce of bravado.)

"With the caped crusader on our side," he boasted, "the Volturi are toast."

The laugh was something we'd all needed. Yet, all my mirth ended the second my eyes wandered upward and saw that the sky had begun to lighten. First gray, then steel blue and, at last, a streak of bright pink crisscrossed the heavens.

Dawn was approaching.

Mom and Dad stiffening next to me clued me into the fact that dawn wasn't all that was on its way. Mere seconds later, I heard it too, the haunting sound. I remembered it from seven years ago. The harmonized brush of many feet padding in sync along the forest floor. It wasn't so loud that a human would have been able to detect it from this distance. In fact, I imagined that it would take several more minutes for your average mortal to be able to pick up any sound. No, the first thing they would have noticed—if they had been paying attention—was the distinct lack of ambient noise. Humans might not discern what vampires were right away, but other animals had no such problem. The wildlife surrounding the field had grown silent as we approached and filed out. Now, those who were at least a mile to the east had fallen quiet as well.

The Volturi were here—no more than a minute away.

Mom touched my hair one last time, kissed my cheek, and then took her place at the back of the group. Her movement stimulated everyone else to take their battle positions. The pack (minus Jake) stood in formation in front of her along with Huilen. (Mom would be shielding us all and they would act as her main barrier of support and protection while the rest of us fought.) Jake and I spaced ourselves in front of them. Rosalie, Esme, and Alice took up position a little ways in front of us while Emmett, Nahuel, and Jasper were lined up in front of them. Then, at the very front of the field standing side by side and ready to confront the Volturi were my father and Carlisle.

My heart banged a frantic pace. I felt like I'd swallowed a hot stone, which had settled itself uncomfortably in my stomach. The rustling, almost musical percussion of the Volturi's advance grew louder. All eyes fell on the copse of trees where we knew they would emerge. Then, without ceremony, they did. There was a line of gray that grew darker until changing into a river of black. Rowed like a small battalion, they majestically flowed onto the field like lava sliding down a volcano. Then, collectively, mutely, they stopped. I wondered if they'd practiced that or if there was something I was missing that had told them to halt. The sudden lack of noise was jarring.

"Carlisle," a tenor voice beckoned.

Aro stepped from the depths of black, pushing the hood of his raven-colored robe back so his head was visible. Renata followed, keeping an ever-present hand on his shoulder as they walked as one person. Markus and Caius came too. Markus seemed pained to be here while Caius looked as though he'd stepped in a cow patty at some point and wanted nothing more than to scrape his shoe clean.

Carlisle returned the greeting. "Aro."

"It has been a while," the elder vampire stated, scanning the rest of us.

My grandfather nodded again. "Yes. What brings you here?"

Aro narrowed blazing, red eyes at Carlisle ever so slightly, as though he were weighing his response before he made it. "Surely you know the reason for our . . . visit. The safety of the entire vampirekind is at stake."

"In what way?" Carlisle phrased his query in such an innocent manner that, had I not known better, I would have believed him to be genuinely perplexed.

Aro's chuckle was petty and brief. "You never cease to amaze me, dear friend. Now, enough with the pleasantries. I am afraid you have been harboring a fugitive. I would like to believe you unaware of his fugitive status. However, Huilen's presence here indicates otherwise."

It was Dad's turn to talk. "Fugitive? Who here has broken vampire law?"

Caius interrupted. "Aro, they clearly have him. Get on with it. We agreed."

"Again," my father repeated, "who here has broken vampire law?"

"The half-breed's mere presence is against the law of nature," Caius accused, pointing a pale finger in Nahuel's direction.

Nahuel went rigid, but said nothing.

Carlisle, amazingly enough, laughed.

"You think this is funny?" Caius stiffly inquired.

"Caius, a vampire's very existence goes against the laws of nature. Thus, would you call for an end to all vampires as well?" Carlisle asked.

"Brother, please," Aro urged before Caius could answer. "We decided that I would handle this, remember?" He turned back to the men in front of him with a placid smile in place. "Edward and Carlisle, you must understand that our world continues to survive undisturbed because of our collective adherence to a fundamental law: Our species must never come to the public attention of humans. To do so would mean the end of us all. Therefore, the few who do not follow this law must be dealt with swiftly in order to ensure the safety of the majority. Surely you agree?"

My father nodded. "Yes, however, I am afraid I must pose my question a third time. Who here has broken vampire law?"

Aro brought his hands together and templed them in front of his chest like a priest. "Government is the hallmark of any true society. Not only does government bring order to chaos, it is pivotal to the development and propagation of civilization. In this same manner, the Volturi have kept our society flourishing for centuries. This has been accomplished largely by making sure all adhere to the law—without exception."

Dad opened his mouth—no doubt to repeat his question again—but Aro held up a finger to stall him and continued.

"This primary law encompasses many principles. These principles include not only those within our society whose careless actions bring our species to the attention of humans, but also those whose actions have spawned unforeseeable consequences to bring us to equal harm. In his arrogance, Joham sought to create a new race of people without thought of how his progeny would affect the vampire world at large. This, in itself, is appalling. However, he continued with his experiments, seeking to empower this new race not only with our own immortality and skills, but to make them _more_ powerful than us. Surely you know we cannot stand idly by while this happens? Every day the half-blood exists is a threat to our race. If we continue to allow him to live unfettered, what will stop him from one day destroying all vampires? It is our duty, as the governing force, to act in the best interest of all." He finished his statement with the confidence of someone who believes his logic irrefutable.

"You make an excellent point, Aro," Carlisle agreed. "Yet, you have overlooked something."

"What is that?" Aro asked, seeming sincerely curious.

"Nahuel has lived for more than a century and a half. In all that time, he has proven to be no threat to our species. What would cause him to suddenly become one now?"

The smile slowly spreading across Aro's face made me nauseated. I knew he'd been waiting for someone to pose just this question. No matter how hard we tried, we seemed to be playing right into his hands.

"At first, I thought as you did. As you know, I am not one to destroy for the sake of destruction. However, when we went to . . . speak . . . with Joham about his heedless disregard for our law, I touched him to glean other bits of information he might be withholding from us—after all, he had been keeping his little experiments quiet for quite some time. Once inside his mind, I saw his true aim at producing these half-breeds. It was not merely for curiosity's sake." Aro's voice hardened. "Once he discovered that mating with a singer could yield a creature whose abilities would only advance with age—eventually making them stronger than even a vampire—he knew he had quite a formidable weapon. He immediately sought to make more of this spawn and succeeded in creating a female, Jennifer. Once he had a full understanding of the complete manifestations possible with these beings, he would have made an army of them. He would have been a threat to our way of life. You must see how we could not let this stand."

"You ended Joham, did you not?" Carlisle prodded.

"You already know we did. We also ended the oldest of his spawn, as she had helped him in his heretical undertakings. Then, because I simply could not believe that there could exist a creature who was half-human and could be a threat to me—one of the oldest vampires in existence—we conducted an experiment of our own with the youngest of his brood." Aro's look of smug satisfaction was too much. "Her abilities left _a lot_ to be desired when paired against Felix. Is this not correct, Felix?"

Pushing his light gray hood back, Felix stepped forward with an arrogant grin on his face. "Yes, master. The half-breed was no match for me."

Felix's eyes moved to Nahuel in blatant challenge. But, the half-vampire's attention was fully on Aro. Nahuel's rage was evident as he spoke. "Her name was Jennifer, and she was an innocent child who was no danger to you. You murdered her for no other reason than to see if you could."

Aro wasn't smiling, but he still seemed pleased by Nahuel's outburst. No doubt, the older vampire wanted Nahuel to charge him and give him another reason to order his death.

"I am afraid that simply isn't true, young one," Aro said, dolefully. "It was nothing more than a test on our part—an experiment, if you will—to define her skills. Regrettably, her abilities proved not quite as robust as Joham's hypotheses had promised."

Nahuel surged forward, but Jasper's and Emmett's hands bracketing either side of his shoulders impeded his progress. Aro, watching the whole thing, gave a distinct nod to the Volturi at large. The sea of black lined by a stripe of gray began to file out. Hoods were pushed back and, one by one, pallid faces became visible, faces I recognized. Jane, Alec, Demetri, Chelsea, and many more. Then, there were the two I didn't know, the two newbies.

I noticed Adelaide first. She was a tall, willowy albino woman with white blonde hair tightly crowning her head in a thick braid. Then, there was the second newbie. My eyes found her as she shifted to stand to the outer edge of Aro. Her olive complexion stood out in stark contrast against her paler counterparts. Her dark brown hair was cropped close to her head in a contemporary bob that bespoke of how young a vampire she must be. Like her brethren, she was dressed in a cloak. However, unlike their uniform impassive expressions, her eyes were animated and inquisitive. She seemed to be absorbing everything around her like a dry sponge in water-especially Nahuel. She couldn't seem to stop staring at him. The expression on her face was a muddle of equal parts curiosity, repulsion, and something else I couldn't decipher. I would have wondered about that more if I hadn't been so concerned about the unknown deadly abilities she had up her sleeve. That she was already a member of the Volturi spoke of her supremacy in some area. Aro wouldn't have had her otherwise. I could only pray it was a mental power as my mother's shielding abilities would be able to protect us from. If this new one's power was more of a physical nature, she was a going to be a daunting obstacle between my family and survival.

As abruptly as it had begun, the movement of the Volturi stopped. Just as suddenly, my fear ratcheted up to unexplored heights. It wasn't because the Volturi had done anything overtly menacing. They didn't. It was because I comprehended the enormity of their actions. I understood why the enemy had expanded and fanned out into a semicircle around us. Unlike the last time the Volturi showed up, they weren't expecting us to meekly stand there while they meted out their brand of justice.

No, like us, they were preparing to fight.


	56. The Art of Compromise

**Chapter Fifty-Six: The Art of Compromise**

I wasn't the only one to catch on to the Volturi's battle strategy. Jasper, Dad, Nahuel, and Emmett stiffened and slightly crouched forward into defensive positions. Next to me, Jake let out a subdued growl. Aro's eyes zeroed in on the wolf at my side and stayed there.

Carlisle, however, remained calm. "Aro, you have yet to explain your full purpose here."

"You already know my purpose. Is that not why you brought your furry friends?"

"The wolves are here because they are a part of our family."

"Blasphemous!" Caius cried. "Is it not enough, brother, that this coven has conspired to aid the half-breed, but to openly consort with werewolves and call them 'family'? Enough of this talking. Now is the time for action!"

"Joham broke the law, and he paid for it with his life," my father explained. "That is justice. But, you would have known nothing about Joham's wrongdoings were it not for Nahuel's testimony the last time you sought us out. Nahuel did not choose to be born to this life, but he was. He was raised primarily by his aunt, Huilen, and had little to do with his sire. He certainly had no knowledge of or actively took part in any plots Joham may have devised. Therefore, he should not be held accountable for any sins his father committed.

"Furthermore, Nahuel has lived nearly two centuries without bringing our kind to the attention of man or posing a danger to vampires. He has, even in his time with us, interacted seamlessly with humans and lived in companionable peace with the rest of our family. I see no reason to believe that this would change, no matter what additional strength or abilities he might acquire in the future. To sentence him to death would be tantamount to the murder of an innocent. Surely the Volturi are above such things?"

Aro's thin lips creased with a smile that didn't reach his eyes. "Well said, young Cullen. Yet, you cannot definitively ensure that the half-breed will not be a menace to us. Moreover, we have no way to know what his range of abilities and skills will be, how long he will live, and what the future might hold for him. We cannot possibly allow such a liability to remain free."

"But—" Carlisle argued.

Aro interrupted. "The Volturi are not murderers. We are the law, and we take this role very seriously. We do not seek to kill the half-breed. In fact, I would much prefer it if we were not forced to do so. I believe there is another option."

We all knew what he was referring to, but it was Nahuel who spoke it aloud.

"I have no wish to join you."

Aro's crimson gaze alighted on him. "I would never offer such a thing. Joining the Volturi is an honor bestowed upon vampire only. No, half-breed, I propose that we take you with us and detain you for a while, for study. There is much we could learn from you. I, personally, find myself fascinated. Once it has been conclusively determined that you present no hazard to our kind, you would, of course, be free to go."

The lies rolled off Aro's tongue as easy as water out of a spigot. He might have a lot of plans, but none of them included Nahuel ever being free.

"Never," Nahuel bit out, his jaw locked.

His answer garnered no reaction from Aro. It was obvious this was what he'd expected. The older vampire merely looked over at Carlisle and added, "There is no need for your family to be involved or inconvenienced here. Simply stand aside while we collect this specimen, and we will be on our way." He made this statement with the same aplomb one might use to ask another to pass the butter.

"Nahuel is part of our family. If he doesn't wish to accompany you, then it seems we are at an impasse," Carlisle said.

"Really?" Aro remarked, lightly rubbing his chin. "You mean to fight us? How? We easily outnumber you. Your entire coven would be destroyed. And for what? A half-breed you barely know? Is that what you want? Carlisle, if that was your aim, you planned poorly. I must say, I was surprised to get here and not find all of your friends called to arms as before. Would they not stand by you this time?"

I knew he was talking about Zafrina and all the others who had come to our aid seven years ago. They had born witness to my changes and swore to the Volturi that I was not an immortal child.

"We meet you this morning as friends, Aro. There is no ulterior motive here save securing the safety of our family. The only reason we called upon those people last time was to ensure that you would stop to listen to our side before any lives were lost. As we had no intention of going to war against the Volturi, there was no need to call anyone to arms."

(The truth was that we had discussed early on about involving those others. In the end, we had decided that as this was our issue with the Volturi, it was wrong to implicate others and bring about their deaths in a fight that was not their own. Dad had also argued that we had a better chance of walking away from this unscathed if we didn't have an additional twenty vampires sitting here waiting. That would practically scream "attack." Looking back, I'm kind of wishing we'd changed our minds about that. After all, we could use all the help we could get at this point.)

"So, Carlisle, we're supposed to walk away and leave the little half-breed free to come after us later? I think not. Aro, end this now," Caius pressed.

"Peace, brother," Aro replied. "Unlike Carlisle, I believe in the art of compromise."

"I would certainly prefer to avoid violence," Carlisle said.

The look on the Volturi leader's face was that of a kid on Christmas morning. He'd navigated this conversation exactly where he'd wanted it to be. I had no idea what he had planned, but whatever it was wasn't going to bode well.

"You speak of the safety of your family. I, likewise, believe in family. The Volturi are my family. My wife, my brothers, my children. In all honestly, I would die for each one of them, as they would for me. But, this half-breed is not your family. Not really."

"He is as much my family as the rest of them," Carlisle argued.

"But he is not the only half-breed you count amongst your coven, is he? No, there is another who is dearer to you." Aro swiveled toward me. "The offspring of Edward and his Bella."

"Leave my daughter out of this," Dad ordered.

"That is exactly what I have in mind," Aro replied. "She, like this half-breed, is the child of a singer. As such, she has the potential to become as great a danger to us. By law, we have the right to take her as well. But, I would offer the following compromise: This half-breed comes with us, and we leave the other with you. You will trust that I mean him no harm, and I will trust that you will see to it this child will be no danger to us." He turned his attention back to Carlisle, clapping his hands together pleasantly. "See? Is that not generosity itself?"

_Game. Set. Match._ Aro's thoughts were as clear as crystal.

I won't lie. A huge wave of relief swept through me. We were being offered our lives in exchange for letting them take Nahuel. We wouldn't have to die. Jacob would be spared. I would be spared. Mom, Dad, Carlilse, Esme and the others. They would all live. It was as tantalizing as fresh, hot blood on a cold, midnight hunt. I probably would have felt guilty for feeling this way had my relief and joy not been mirrored and intensified by Jacob.

Carlisle opened his mouth to reply, but Nahuel interrupted him. "I accept."

"Don't, Nahuel!"

"No!"

"Not happening."

"Hell no!"

Various family members chorused their opinions on this, but Nahuel was already walking forward. "It is my choice, Carlisle, and I choose to go with them. I've endangered your family by coming here. I am sorry for that. If I leave, you will all be safe. That is all I could hope for."

"Nahuel, no!" Huilen cried as she raced forward. Alice and Esme grabbed her and held her back.

"You are part of our family, son. You don't have to do this," Carlisle said.

"Yes, I do. Like he said, there is no other way. The sins of the father must be visited on the son. It is time I accepted that. This is what I want."

Aro's smile was wide and bright as Nahuel strode up to him. "Well, half-breed, I am pleased we could come to an accord on this. You are doing the right thing. It would pain me greatly to destroy my dearest friend and his family. Felix!"

Felix stepped forward with his hands full of what looked like shackles, which he quickly placed on Nahuel. Soon, the half-vampire's hands were secured behind his back. I wasn't sure what the shackles were made of or if Aro really believed they would keep Nahuel prisoner if he didn't want to be. No matter that he was now a captive of the Volturi, Nahuel stared Aro down like he was the lowest kind of scum in the world. This continued as the vampire tried to intimidate the half-vampire into submission. Aro proved unsuccessful. Nahuel refused to be cowed.

When he grew tired of the staring contest, Aro changed strategies. "Jane," he softly said.

Jane stepped forward with a toxic grin aimed directly at Nahuel. He, however, continued to stand firm and proud under her scrutiny. Her power had no effect. She sneered, seemingly ready to explode. Aro turned to Dad.

"Edward, your lovely wife should remove her protection from this half-breed now. We need to be underway, and the sooner this creature learns his place, the better off he shall be."

"You promised he would come to no harm," Dad said.

"And he shall not. His pain shall have no lasting effects save him learning some much-needed discipline."

"Nahuel!" Huilen yelled again.

Nahuel faced his aunt, his hardened expression cracking for barely a moment as he looked at her. "Live your life, dear one. I will find you once they set me free." Then, before she could respond, he pivoted away from her.

Huilen sagged in Esme and Alice's arms like a deflating balloon.

"Nahuel," Emmett said, advancing with a feral sound issuing from his throat, "you don't have to do this. It's time we stopped bowing to them. We'll fight."

The entire Volturi rumbled as they hunched forward, ready to take on this blatant challenge to their authority, but Aro held a hand up to halt them. "What's this?" he delicately queried, an eyebrow quirked at Carlisle. "Your people dare speak treason?"

"Emmett, stand down," Carlisle commanded. "I speak for this coven. If Nahuel wishes to go with them, it is his choice. We shall respect it."

Emmett had little alternative but to obey. Aro frowned at the rest of us for a moment before seeming to decide that we would indeed submit to Carlisle's will. At long last, his attention returned to my grandfather. I couldn't tell if he was relieved or disappointed. "Thank you, Carlisle. I am sure we can overlook this _indiscretion_ in favor of peace. Now, as I was saying, Edward, if you would please have your wife release—"

"Bella," Dad bit out.

Mom emitted a snarl of frustration. But, she acquiesced. Like Emmett, she had little choice. And, just that quickly, the stillness in the clearing was overtaken with screams. One minute, Nahuel was standing there arrogantly glaring down Aro. The next, he'd crumbled to his knees in agony. Jane proved merciless. Like a racehorse stabled too long, she expended every ounce of her energy and relished in the effects of her power.

As Nahuel writhed bellowing on the ground, I silently suffered along with him. I was a mess of indecision, relief, fear, anger, and grief. On one hand, I was relieved with the idea of having my family safe. But, that relief was tempered with the knowledge that our safety was coming at a high cost to Nahuel. What would happen once he was alone with them? What additional tortures would they devise? Would he somehow be brainwashed and trained to act for them like a pet? Would he be tortured for sport? What was Aro's endgame for him? Whatever it was, Nahuel would never be released. Just that quickly, I realized that, if we let them walk away with him tonight, this would never truly be over. They would be back. They had to come back, for me if nothing else. What would be the deal be next time? Give me up and the rest can go free? When would it end? How much would we let fear force us into doing things we knew were wrong?

In the same moment, Jane ceased her torture of Nahuel and I came up with a plan. It was risky, complicated, and dangerous as hell. It was also pretty, freaking brilliant. _(Even if I do say so myself.)_ More than likely, I'd be dead before it was all over. But, seeing as how I'd already made my peace with that, it wasn't the obstacle it might have otherwise been.

The only real obstacle in my path wasn't how I would have to verbally tango Aro or what I would later do with Felix. No, it was getting my family (especially Dad and Jake) to stay out of things long enough for me to do what I had to do.

Aro nodded to Felix, who lifted Nahuel to his feet and forced him over to the other Volturi. _It's now or never_, I thought. And with that, I started thinking as loud as I could. Dad stiffened as I mentally poured out what I was going to do. Never in my life had I been more thrilled to have a telepathic parent. My father didn't dare look back at me, not with Aro exchanging ridiculous pleasantries with Carlisle right in front of him. Still, I managed to catch the slight jerk of his head to the side which signaled how much he wasn't on board.

_I'm doing this, Dad. Deal with it. It's a solid plan. It'll work, and, if it doesn't, we can always go back to our original strategy: Fight to the death. Either way, this ends today__._

The slight drop in Dad's shoulders was all I needed to see. But, just as I was celebrating one victory, I felt the wolf at my side tense. Jake had picked up on my intentions. He whined low in his throat and I felt his anger and fear. I reached out to rub a hand over his furry head. My emotions were as twisted as old Christmas lights in a box, but the overwhelming ones were my love for him as well as my determination to see this through. I pushed them at him as well as visualizations of everything I had planned before letting my hand fall away. He'd either accept it or he wouldn't. Time was running out here.

"Well, Carlisle," Aro said, "I am pleased we could end this . . . visit . . . as friends. I hope—"

"Wait!" I cried, zipping past Jake and the rest of my now-startled family to stand beside my father.

"Yes, child?" the ancient vampire asked, obviously surprised to see me. "You have something you wish to say?"

"Y-y-yes," I stammered.

"Really?" he said, condescendingly. "And what might that be?"

My head fell forward like an obedient puppy as I stared at the ground. I swallowed visibly before giving him an answer.

"I have a counter offer."


	57. Turning Tables

**Chapter Fifty-Seven: Turning Tables**

"Nessie, don't—" Nahuel croaked before he broke off into hoarse screams.

Jane was back at it again. My body jerked in response. (I couldn't help it.) It was all I could do not to attack the little, blonde mutant. Instead, I exhaled steadily and turned my attention to Aro. He, of course, had been surveying me all the while.

"Jane," he murmured without taking his attention off me.

Nahuel's shouts ceased, but I could still hear him panting heavily. I didn't spare a glance at him though. That was what Aro wanted. This whole thing was about him scaring me, scaring all of us into folding like wet tissue so he could get what he wanted. I couldn't—I wouldn't—let him intimidate me. Oh no, not if I was going to turn the tables on him.

"Renesmee or Nessie? Which name do you prefer?" he asked.

"Either is fine."

"Nessie, then," he said, clasping his hands in front of him placidly. "The odor of dog clings quite vehemently to you, my dear. You should be careful. Smelling like that, you might find yourself attacked unnecessarily."

Jake and the rest of the pack growled at the blatant insult, but the rest of my family said nothing. I was pretty sure most of them were trying to figure out what the heck I was doing as well as why Dad and Jake weren't trying to stop me. I dumped a healthy dose of irritation into the joint pool of emotion I shared with Jake so he'd back off. The last thing I needed was him letting Aro get his goat. I reassembled my face to look worried and suitably chastened, but kept mute.

"I believe you mentioned a counter offer?" Aro prodded.

"Yes."

"Well, I am intrigued. What could you have to offer that would be so enticing to me that I would be willing to give up this one?" he said, motioning to Nahuel with a wave of his hand.

"Actually, I was hoping to get a few things straight first, if you would be so patient." I smiled graciously.

My overly polite manners seemed to please him. "Ask whatever questions you have. Of course, you will extend me the same courtesy."

"Of course," I agreed timidly. "I'm just trying to get my head wrapped around this whole thing, so you'll have to forgive me if I don't completely comprehend the minutia of it all."

"Indeed. How old are you?"

"Seven." _So, he's just gonna jump in with the questions, huh? Two can play that game_. "Let me see if I grasp the logic here. The reason you're taking Nahuel with you is because him being half-vampire makes him a threat to the Volturi?"

"His existence is a threat to _all_ vampires."

I nodded, my forehead scrunched in obvious confusion. "Then, why not take me too?"

"Nessie!" Carlisle hissed.

Aro chuckled good-naturedly, settling into this conversation like it was a plush recliner. "She is merely curious, Carlisle. That is all. I am sure the offer she spoke of doesn't include me taking her instead of this one."

"No, it doesn't," I interjected.

"See? No need to worry." Aro rounded from Carlisle to me. "There are three important reasons we must take him, Nessie. First, he was created as part of a plot against all vampires for the express purpose of destroying our peaceful society. The circumstances of your creation, as you certainly know, are quite the opposite.

"Two, Joham's spawn was raised a wild, feral creature without any respect for authority such as the Volturi. You, however, have clearly been educated and nurtured by a coven which includes the likes of Carlisle and Edward, two of the most intelligent and highly-regarded vampires I know. And, given your carriage and demeanor today, I see no reason to doubt that you will, once you reach maturity, be a congenial, law-abiding half-vampire."

(His insipid smile made me want to puke.)

"But," I debated, "Nahuel has never tried to harm anyone. He's been around humans many times, and they've never suspected him of being anything out of the ordinary. Carlisle and the others have raised and educated me. If you allowed Nahuel to stay here, they could do the same for him."

"Which brings us to my third reason, child. Even a seemingly-docile dog will bite the hand that feeds it sooner or later." (Aro eyed the pack while he said that.) "And, I am afraid, once that happens, your coven will be ill-equipped to handle him. There are many powerful people in your coven, Nessie, but none able to take on one as strong as this half-breed. So, you see, it is not only for the safety of our civilization that we must take him, it is also for the safety of your family."

He sounded very reasonable and confident. But, I wasn't done yet. "So, if there was a way for you to be assured that he could be kept in line, you would have no reason to take him?"

Aro stared at me for the longest time—so long I was sure he was on to me—but, in the end, he gave a long, slow nod. "Indeed. As you can see, my hands are quite tied on this matter. But, do not worry. Once we have assured ourselves he is no longer a threat, we will set him free."

"And if I told you someone in this coven is strong enough to take on Nahuel if the occasion called for it? What then?"

"Someone strong enough to take on the half-breed? Who?"

"Me."

His dark brow curled upward. "And, pray tell, how might you be able to handle one more than twenty times your age? You would be no match against a vampire at this point, much less a creature as strong as this half-breed."

"Like Nahuel, I'm the child of a singer. Unlike Nahuel, I received a lot of power at any early age. In fact, I can honestly say that I've got more abilities than any vampire here."

The Volturi laughed at me. Turns out, they don't laugh like ordinary people do. No, it's a mix of a harsh clap of thunder and the mew of a dying, arthritic cat. It was also the first time I'd ever seen them do something out of sync. (I tried not to let that freak me out. I mostly succeeded in this endeavor.)

They snickered. I kept talking. "You're a telepath like my father, right, Aro? The only difference is that you need to touch people in order to read their thoughts." I held out a hand. "Go ahead. Read me."

The laughter ended.

_Now, Dad!_ I shouted mentally. The timing on this had to be perfect.

"Nessie, no. Don't!" he yelled, pulling me away from the older vampire. "Let them take Nahuel. I won't have you harmed." He looked to Aro. "She's lying, feebly trying anything to get you to leave Nahuel with us. She fancies herself in love with him because he's the only other half-vampire she's ever met."

Dad grasped me by my shoulders, glared down at me, and gave me a vicious shake. "Nessie, this is not _Romeo and Juliet_. Dying for love might be great in all those books you read, but this is not a book. This is real life." He shoved me behind his back. "Please, take Nahuel and just go, Aro. You've gotten what you've come for."

Aro glanced from me to my father and back again, obviously trying to gauge what was going on here. My father's story was certainly plausible. If Aro were an average person, he might have believed him. But Aro wasn't average by any stretch of the imagination. He was eaten up with curiosity and envy. I waited a few more precious seconds before shoving my arm out to tempt him again.

"I'm telling the truth. Touch me and see."

"Nessie," Dad admonished, pushing me and my arm back behind him.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, curiosity won out. "Release her, Edward. Nessie has proven herself to be an intelligent and polite being. But a liar? I think not. And, while I appreciate you trying to protect your young one, I have a right to judge her abilities for myself."

He stepped towards us, his hand almost brushing mine.

"Brother, it could be a trap," Caius warned.

"If it is, then they all die," Aro promised. He hesitated long enough for his warning to sink in before settling his hand on top of mine and closing his eyes.

This is what I'd been waiting for. The second his glacial skin touched mine, I flooded him with images and hoped it would override his ability to sift through the thoughts in my mind. I bombarded him first with the memories of me training with my family. Next, I showed him me tossing Emmett across the field and slamming Jasper to the ground with nothing more than a shoe to his back. Then, I went further, detailing how I'd trained against the wolves and won. The only thing I left out was Jacob's part in my abilities. As far as Aro was able to discern, I was doing it all on my own. Finally, for the _piece de resistance_, I presented the battle I'd had with Constantine—only I made a few careful changes. I edited out Nahuel's presence there and made his actions my own. I watched Aro's face the whole time, reading his reactions. Shock, dismay, anger, and, the one I'd been watching for, envy.

I jerked my hand back from him. The second I let go, Aro's mauve lids went wide. I kept my gaze locked on him and waited. His eyes slid from me to my father and finally landed on Carlisle. "My dear friend," the older vampire said, "you've been keeping things from me."

Since I didn't want this to turn into something I couldn't control, I said, "I'm ready to make my offer."

Aro turned back to me. "And, what will stop me from taking both of you?"

This time, I didn't back down an inch. "The three reasons you stated earlier for not taking me still stand." I took a breath and released it. "Unless the real reason you didn't want to take me was that you didn't believe me powerful enough to bother with before and now you've changed your mind?"

I'd nailed him. But he quickly recovered. "How is it that a child of seven has developed abilities it has taken this half-breed nearly two centuries to gain?"

I shrugged. "All vampires aren't created equal in terms of powers. Why would you assume all half-vampires to be so?"

"What has happened, Aro? What did you see?" Caius demanded.

Aro ignored him. "And besides the range of abilities this half-breed has, Nessie, what other skills do you possess? Are you a telepath like your father or do you have other . . . talents?"

I wanted to laugh at the frustration on his face. He was trying to figure out how I'd gained the upper hand in this conversation. A telepath who could read his thoughts could certainly explain that.

"Telepathy wouldn't help me throw Emmett across a field or rip Constantine's head off."

"Constantine?" the second newbie vampire fairly wailed the name.

While everyone's attention was temporarily diverted to that member of the Volturi, Aro kept his on me. "You didn't answer my question."

"I'm not a telepath. My talents are best used on a battlefield, and you've already seen them."

It was a lie, but he had no way of knowing that for sure. I only hoped I'd managed to use my visualization ability in place of his mind reading one. If he'd managed to read any of my thoughts during that time, we were all toast. It was the biggest gamble in my plan.

I jumped in again. "I believe we were going to discuss my offer."

"Aro, what is this? I—" Caius began.

Around him, the Volturi were getting restless and uneasy. There were fierce grumblings and anxious glances. Even Renata, still behind Aro, seemed insecure. I thought I heard her whimper, but I couldn't be sure.

Aro disregarded everyone but me. "I'm listening."

"As you now know, I can easily handle Nahuel should the need arise. Therefore, I propose you leave him with us."

There was a beat before he reacted. "And what would be in that for me?"

"Since when was this about you?" I countered. "You said you were only here to ensure the safety of vampirekind from any threat Nahuel may present. I'm offering my family and me as bond to ensure the safety of everyone."

Aro opened his mouth to reply, but shut it just as fast. He was trapped by his own words, and he knew it. The grumblings of the Volturi grew louder as Caius stormed over to us, refusing to be ignored anymore.

"You can't mean to accede to this, Aro. It's insupportable to allow the male half-breed to run loose. And, if this girl has as much power as she boasts, we must take her as well. Our very lives are at stake. You agreed—"

Aro's hand shooting into the air halted Caius' speech. The elder vampire didn't even spare his brother a look as he stared me down. When his expression changed from cornered rat to conniving snake, my stomach clenched. "How do I know for sure that you are strong enough to handle him, Nessie?"

"You read my memories. You know my power."

"My telepathy is a splendid gift to me, but it is not a flawless power. By this, I mean I only see what the person I am touching has seen, heard, and felt. While I can visualize events in their memories, it is not the same as experiencing the event myself. And, as people often season a memory with their own misconceptions, you can see how their remembrances can vary greatly from the truth. For example, when I read through Joham's mind, he believed that all half-breed children of singers wouldn't begin to gain in strength until around the tenth year—and, even then, they would not have the power or dexterity to fend off a vampire. It would take many more decades to be able to do that. Yet, here you stand in front of me, declaring him wrong. Therefore, I am sure you can understand how I cannot believe it based solely on what I saw in your mind."

I tried not to smile. He'd fallen right into my trap. Now, all I had to do was close the lid.

"So, if I can prove it to you, you'll let him go?"

His gotcha grin reminded me of the Grinch. (I should have paid more attention to that.) "Absolutely, Nessie. And I have the perfect test in mind."

"All right."

"We'll match you against Felix. After all, he has experience against half-breeds. If you can best him, I will gladly release this one to you."

I'd been expecting this. I already had my battle strategy in my head. "So, I just have to pin him and—"

His finger shot up. "Oh, no, dear child. We're the Volturi. On the battlefield, we fight to the end. Both of you will enter the match, but only one of you will leave it."

And, just that quickly, the tables had turned again.


	58. Unexpected

**Chapter Fifty-Eight: Unexpected**

"I accept."

The words flew from my mouth before I'd even fully thought them through. My brain was still stumbling over what had happened.

_Did I just agree to a death match against Felix?_

Yes, I did. I'd planned to fight Felix, of course. I knew Aro was the kind of guy who'd need a physical demonstration of my prowess (and whose greed would overrule common sense). Maybe I was naive, but I'd never considered that it would be a death match. (But, this is what you get when you only have five minutes to come up with a full-proof plan.) It didn't matter though. I was still going to do it.

_Am I?_

Yes. I'd come here prepared to die today. If this was how it happened, then so be it. But, I wasn't going out easily. I was going down fighting.

Looking at it from Aro's point of view, I had to admit that it was a brilliant move. If I lost to Felix, I'd be dead and he'd have Nahuel. Two birds with one stone.

I supposed he wasn't considering what would happen if I won. Or, maybe he was counting on me exaggerating my abilities. (After all, Constantine hadn't been a trained fighter, and my family could have been taking it easy on me during training.) Or, perhaps, he had faith in Felix's fighting skills. As I peered over at my colossal, heavily-muscled, snarling opponent, I had to admit he looked pretty formidable—especially against a gangly girl like me.

_Oh, God, what if I lose?_ _What happens to my family? To Nahuel?_ _To Jake? _Then, I remembered long ago when Alice had the vision about me dying. Wasn't it by Felix's hand? _Alice couldn't see a future for me. What does that mean, if not my death? _

My stomach clenched as all these old fears resurfaced. Just as quickly, I shoved them away. I couldn't let myself think that way. I had to win. No matter what Alice saw. I had to. Somehow.

Aro clapped his hands together once and said, "We are all in agreement. Nessie, I will give you some time to confer with your family before we start." He looked to Caius and Markus. "Brothers, a few minutes of your time, please?"

I had about three seconds to watch them crowd around each other in an exchange of furious whispers before I was grabbed and swung around. Mom squeezed me to her, refusing to let go. She said nothing, but the hardness of her embrace relayed the depth of her anxiety all the same.

"Nessie, you can't do this," Rosalie said over Mom's shoulder. Her voice was kept as low as possible to keep the Volturi from overhearing "Let them take Nahuel for now. We'll find another way to free him."

I shook my head. "It's too late, Aunt Rose. I've already agreed. Besides, this is the only way." I struggled against my mother's hold before using my combined strength with Jacob to pry myself away from her. "I need to breathe, Mom."

My parents and Jake flanked me as the rest of my family crowded around, trying to talk me out of this. Even the pack howled their patent disapproval at Jake. (I really didn't want to know what they were saying to him, but one harsh snarl from him quieted them.) Finally, when it was apparent to all that I wasn't going to change my mind, Emmett, Esme, Alice, and Rosalie turned on my parents, who'd remained mute throughout it all.

"How can you guys let her do this?" Rosalie demanded.

"She has a plan. It's a good one. And, as much as I hate to say it, it's her decision," Dad replied. From the way he was clenching and unclenching his jaw, I knew how hard that was for him to admit. But, still, he said it. My heart swelled with love for him. I wasn't going to let him down. I wasn't going to let any of them down. _I couldn't._

"Carlisle, do something to stop this," Esme begged.

Carlisle took her into his arms. "Like Nahuel, Nessie has a right to choose for herself. I don't like it, but I won't stand in her way."

"But she's going to sacrifice herself!" Alice argued. "Bella, you can't want this."

Mom's posture grew more rigid as she stared them all down. "Renesmee's my daughter. She's doing what I would have done in her place, what I _have_ done in the past to safeguard this family. She's the product of everything we've taught her, by our words and by our actions. If any of you were in her position, can you honestly say you wouldn't do the same?"

That shut all but Emmett up. "But she's so young and inexperienced—" he began.

Jasper shoved his way forward. "But nothing. Nessie's been magnificent. Haven't any of you been paying attention? She's had Aro on the run since she first spoke to him. And, unlike all of you, I've been with her every step of the way in training. I've taught her everything I know." He focused on me. "I believe in you. You _can_ do this. You're ready. You know everything you need to know. Felix underestimates you. They all do. Good. _Let them_. Fight smart, fight dirty, and, when the opportunity comes to kill, don't hesitate. Just do it. OK?"

I swallowed hard. "I will. I promise."

After that, my family took turns giving me their own warnings and suggestions and just hugging me—as they have done all my life. But, unlike every other time, I didn't do my usual eye roll and ignore them. I listened and absorbed their words. They each had worked so hard to mold me into the person I was, and it had taken every one of them to get me to this point today. My respect and love for them knew no bounds. I smiled and nodded and accepted and kept quiet. _(I didn't even point out to Mama Esme that she'd repeated her suggestion for me to knee Felix in his "manly parts" a whopping five times.) _

Once they were done, it occurred to me that, with all this time with my family, I hadn't said a thing to Jake. But, just as quickly, I realized that I didn't need to. Through our connection, we were bound, always together. I could feel his heightened panic at the idea of losing me, his anger that I was even going to do this. At times, those feelings overwhelmed me. But, these emotions were delicately balanced with acceptance that this was what must be done, how proud he was of me, and how much he believed me capable of winning. Most of all, I was more than aware of his love for me. It was a tangible, living thing that we shared.

So, in the end, no words were required. Only one, last, long look was shared before I walked out to face my fate. Aro broke away from the apparent argument he was having with his brothers to call Felix to him. After a few minutes of whispered instructions, Aro once again took charge of the field.

"The match ends when one of you is dead. There are no other rules," he proclaimed. "Felix?"

"Yes, master?"

"Do not disappoint me."

The Volturi warrior bowed low to his sovereign. "Never."

Felix was not handsome. His hair was dark, and, with a tub of green body paint, he could have easily played the Incredible Hulk. His lips were razor-thin slashes, and his wide nose had a bump in the middle of it. (_Probably leftover from fighting in his human days, _I thought_.)_ Even though he was a behemoth, his movements were quick and crisp. I took particular note of that. As I faced him on the field, an egotistical grin began to spread across his face like a raging wild fire.

"I'm going to enjoy this," he said.

I didn't bother to reply, remembering what Jasper had told me about being underestimated. I needed every advantage I could get.

Felix's hand shot out, two sausage-like fingers beckoning to me. "Come meet your end, little girl."

I inhaled, and the combined strength and acuity from Jake rolled through my body like an electrical current. The knowledge that I wasn't really alone in this gave me more confidence. Felix wasn't going to know what hit him. My brain raced through different attack strategies. I was stronger than Felix and I was certainly faster, but I was pretty sure he had me in regards to stamina. So, this battle had to end swiftly or I was done for.

"What are you waiting for? Not in a hurry to die?" he taunted. "Too bad."

And, with that, he struck.

I dodged his first blow. (Which I'm sure was meant to take my head off.) As his beefy fist made another beeline for my face, I blocked it and did what I always did in training. I kicked out, hitting him square in the solar plexus. But unlike every other time, this was like kicking a thick, cement wall. Felix staggered back, but didn't go down. My foot, however, felt like it had been crushed upon impact. I winced under the discomfort and looked resignedly up at my opponent. (This was not going to be good.)

He grinned before diving at me. I tried to move out of the way, but he tackled me around the waist. We went down in a crash of dust. Then, he was hovering over me, bracketing my hands to the ground on either side of my head.

"You were much easier than the other one," he said.

"It's not over yet, asshole," I grunted, using my legs to catapult him over my body. He was airborne for all of five seconds before crashing into the dirt near the line of trees in the forest.

As soon as I was free, I shot to my feet and charged back into the fray. I thought I heard a woman screaming like a banshee, but I didn't pay it any mind. I wasn't thinking about pain, dying, or battle strategies anymore. I just attacked. This was survival instinct, pure and simple. It was kill or be killed. Felix's back was to me as he got to his feet. I jumped on him, wrapping my hands like a vice around his neck. I twisted, trying to wrench his head off. (Honestly, the real thing was a lot harder than the wooden dummies we'd used in practice.)

He grabbed at my hands, trying to wrest himself free. But, I was stronger, much stronger. When that didn't work, he reached behind me and grabbed my braid, yanking on it so hard I was positive I was going to be bald before this was over. I ignored the sting this caused and twisted harder at his neck. Then, my breath left me as my body was unceremoniously slammed into a thick tree. I groaned, focusing more on trying to hang on now instead of pulling Felix's head off. Like a green horse, he bucked under me, slamming me again and again into the tree until it snapped like a twig under the continued pummeling.

With a demonic yowl, he rammed us back against the tree once more. But, unlike the other times, my back didn't bang against bark this time. No, it hit the jagged shards of splintered wood now sprouting from the stump. Like a hot knife through butter, the shards stabbed me from behind. I gasped as pain like I'd never felt before exploded inside me. Then, Felix jerked forward again, taking me with him. Suddenly, the large splinters imbedded in my back were yanked out. I screamed against the new wave of agony this caused and fell weakly from his back.

I landed with a thump and somehow managed to stagger to my feet. There was a weird, hot gush of liquid down my side. As I reached around touch the throbbing area of my wound, my hand returned painted red.

I was bleeding. I'd never done that before. The shock of it kept me standing there, staring at my hand. My brain seemed stuck in neutral, unable to even process the idea of it.

Felix roared as he swung around and prepared to charge again. Then, something changed in him as his nose flared against the scent of my blood. And that quickly, I realized Felix wasn't just my opponent anymore. He was a hungry vampire, and I was dinner.

The next few seconds seemed to slow to a crawl. Felix lunged at me. Without thought, I threw myself at him, landing on his chest. He caught me, locking his arms to hold my body prisoner against him. His sharp teeth snapped repeatedly at me, trying to find purchase on my skin. I held him off by putting my hands on his head, using my visualization power to send him nothing but shrouds of black. This blinded him, and he flailed for a bit. I took immediate advantage and, using the last of my waning strength, I viciously twisted and yanked his head. With an oddly satisfying pop, it came off like the lid on a jar of pickles. We toppled to the ground, me landing on his limp torso.

The head was still in my hands.

There was strange tingling sensation in my back as I got to my feet. But, as it was coupled with a wave of something I thought was nausea and the fact that I was being watched by the entire Volturi, I ignored it in favor of keeping my guard up. I was bleeding in a field of vamps. There was nothing more dangerous than that. My only way out of this was to act like a unbeatable badass. (Not that I at all felt like one.) So, with a hefty dose of bravado I didn't have, I swaggered over to Aro holding Felix's head by its dark hair.

"Here," I said, offering my trophy to him. "Release Nahuel."

Aro didn't move to take the head. In fact, he didn't move at all. He seemed to be in shock. The more I considered things, the more that kind of reaction made sense. After all, Dad and Carlisle had said it a million times: Aro never entered a game he wasn't sure to win. (Question: What if the person who has spent their whole existence getting everything he's ever wanted suddenly finds himself in this position? Answer: He becomes a frowning vampire statue.)

As still as we were, there were a myriad of things happening around us. A few of the higher Volturi guard (I could tell they were higher up because of their black robes) were whispering feverishly amongst themselves—looking at me with expressions of anger and, occasionally, naked fear. A few of the lesser Volturi snarled and snapped at me in what I knew were the beginnings of bloodlust. (This and the persistent feeling of lightheadedness that was plaguing me were big reminders of the stab wounds in my back.) The Cullens immediately crowded around me, giving the Volturi a few _come-at-her-and-you're-dead _glares. Jake, Jasper, and Emmett stood guard in front of me as Carlisle ripped away the back of my shirt to examine my injuries.

"I'm fine," I said, trying to get away. "It hardly hurts anymore. Really." This whole ordeal wasn't over yet. The last thing I needed was my family coddling me right now. (After all, it totally detracts from the badass image.)

"The wounds have healed already."

_Huh?_

"What?" Dad exclaimed.

"Are you sure, Carlisle?" Mom asked, pushing him aside to check for herself.

"She's healed." He used the ripped portion of my shirt to wipe off most of the blood from my back and side.

"Really?" I asked, wondering if my quick healing had to do with being a half-vampire or the imprinting with Jake. Then, I remembered how quickly Nahuel had healed that day Constantine attacked. It must be half-vampire thing. That was actually a pretty cool perk. Maybe I was a real badass, after all. I'd taken down the Volturi version of the Incredible Hulk, been stabbed by a tree, and found out that superfast healing was another of my many talents. I felt like I could do anything at this point. (Not that I ever wanted to get stabbed again. That part sucked.)

The icy wind against my skin reminded me of how unclothed I was. "Dad, give me your shirt," I said, giving Felix's head to a startled Alice to hold while I pulled the rest of my blood-spattered top over my head and flung it away from us. As I was standing there in nothing but my bra, Dad was quick to pull off his sweater and give it to me, leaving him in a white undershirt.

Since I wanted to end all of this while I still had the upper hand (and because you can't be a real badass when your grandfather and mother are taking turns babying you), I took the head back, shoved my way through my family and stalked back over to Aro. Wordlessly, I held it back up to him. Dad came with me, but I ignored him.

"Well?" I asked Aro.

The statue finally moved. Aro barely spared a glance at Felix's head. Instead, he made an impatient gesture at Chelsea, who stepped forward to take it from me. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Felix's body jerk slightly. I wondered if he was really dead. (After all, vampires are only truly gone if you rip them to pieces and burn them to ash.) _Was it possible to somehow superglue him back together? How did that work exactly?_

Before I could fully consider the ramifications of that, Chelsea walked toward the body, carrying the head with her. As she reached him and seemed ready to do something about putting Humpty Dumpty back together again, Aro spoke.

"No."

"But, master," Chelsea pleaded, darting anxious glances from me to Felix to Aro and last to Caius and Markus, who were taking it all in with what looked like surprise.

"Dare you defy me?" Aro demanded.

Cauis broke in. "Brother, we haven't voted on this. You are being too reckless in your decisions and I—"

"Silence!" Aro screamed. Then, before anyone could say or do anything else, there was a tornado of movement. Once the wind had settled, an amethyst fire blazed in the spot where Felix's body used to be. Aro tossed his former fighter's head into the fiery pile, watching it burn with an acute madness in his aura that didn't bode well for anyone.

The longer Aro stood there watching the residual ash of what used to be Felix blow away, the more uneasy everyone became. The uniform impassivity of the Volturi was a thing of the past. Now, they freely held expressions of fear, agitation, anger, horror, and confusion. By twos and threes, they broke rank and huddled about each other, muttering furiously as they cast reproachful glances at their dispirited ruler.

Aro sighed, his shoulders falling as if defeat. His caped back was to us, but I could still see a violent shudder wrack his body which I was sure had nothing to do with the temperature.

"Master, please," Chelsea said, reaching out to him. I wasn't sure what she was asking for, but, whatever it was, he didn't seem to like it.

He straightened as tight as a bow string the second her voice sounded. Without a word, Aro whirled on her, striking Chelsea hard enough to knock her to the ground. Then, he turned on me, naked hatred and insanity pouring from his eyes. But, before he could even step in my direction, my family filed in mutely behind me, Dad and Jacob falling in on either side of me. Their message was clear. _Touch her and you're dead._ Aro took in this new development with deliberate slowness, his eyes touched on each member of the family as if he'd never seen us before. Then, his lips moved, eliciting an order that was barely discernible at first. He took a hollow breath and repeated himself, louder this time.

"Kill them."


	59. Mutiny

**Chapter Fifty-Nine: Mutiny**

"Kill them."

Nobody moved.

"Did you hear what I said?" Aro shouted to the Volturi at large. "Kill them! Kill them all!"

"No."

I didn't understand who had spoken at first as I didn't recognize the voice. It was deep, a rich baritone that belonged on Santa Claus or the Jolly Green Giant. There was a slight wheeze to it, like it wasn't used that often, but that didn't take away from the blatant authority in its tone.

"Markus, stay out of this," Aro warned.

Markus stepped around the apparently shell-shocked Caius and approached his other brother. "Enough, Aro. It is time to go home. To linger here puts all of us in danger. Carlisle's coven will take charge of the half-breed."

Aro snarled out a laugh. "And what happens when he comes after us, brother? What then?"

"Nahuel has no reason to come after you," I said, hoping Markus had more sway in the Volturi than we'd previously given him credit for. "Felix killed his sister, and I killed Felix. The way I see it, that makes us even. You leave us be, and we'll leave you the same way." (Technically, Aro killed Felix, but I wasn't about to bring _that_ up now.)

Aro pointed at me as if I hadn't said a word. "And what of her, brother? You wish to leave that kind of power in the hands of our enemies?"

"We have no wish to be your enemy, old friend," Carlisle soothed. "We ask only to live our lives together in peace."

"Peace, Carlisle?" Aro repeated. "You cannot be so naïve. There is no peace to be had in this world! There is only power. Those who have it, and those who do not. Make no mistake. I _will_ have the power—all of it. And, if I don't, no one will."

The once-murmured discontent of the Volturi grew louder with every word Aro said. Chelsea, who had risen from the ground, stood glaring at her leader. The longer she glared, the more restless the other Volturi became. I remembered suddenly that she was the one who was responsible for binding them all together, for making their bonds more powerful and close-knit than those made by love, friendship, or blood. I wondered if she wasn't now loosening those bonds and what would happen when they were completely undone. _Would we have a full mutiny on our hands? What would that even mean?_

Caius seemed to be thinking along similar lines. He bounded forward, talking only to the Volturi with a cheerful smile on his face. (It was actually kind of freaky to see him smiling. It was the sort of thing that would make a baby cry.) "Come. We must away. We shall continue this discussion another time when my brother is feeling better."

"We continue this now!" Aro argued. "I make the decisions here; no one else."

Caius and Markus shared a look that didn't bode well for Aro whenever they got him alone. "We are leaving. We are still a tribunal, and the vote has been taken. You have lost, Aro." Markus rendered this pronouncement. He made a sharp movement with his hands, which caused the Volturi guard to straighten within their ranks.

Aro observed all of this like a two-year-old who just realized he wasn't going to get his way. He watched the battalion of black and gray line up in preparation to go. He tried to catch the eyes of more than one, but those like his beloved Jane and his ever-loyal Renata stood away from him—refusing to look his way, much less come near him.

All, that is, except for one.

Newbie number two broke away from her brethren and approached Aro. The wind flipped her cape back over her shoulders, allowing all to see her hands were fisted at her sides.

"What of Constantine?" she asked her master. "What happened to my sire?"

Like a forgotten $20 in a coat pocket, this perked Aro up. "The abomination," he said, pointing at me. "She killed him. If you bear any allegiance to me, you will kill her. You will kill them all."

She eyed me.

"Constantine attacked me," I said, holding up my hands in the universal I'm-not-interested-in-another-death-match-right-now sign. "I had no choice. But, he didn't know what I was or who my family was. If he had, he wouldn't have bothered me. I fully believe that."

She turned back to Aro. "You said he had to prove his worth if he was going to join the Volturi. You said it was a simple task to demonstrate his loyalty. Why would you send him here?"

When Aro didn't answer, I filled in the blanks for her. "He sent Constantine here hoping he'd kill me. But, whether your sire completed the task or not, Aro knew my family would make sure Constantine never returned." I'd been purely guessing, but Aro's reaction told everyone how on the money I was.

With a snarl, he flew at me, no doubt ready to seize my throat in his hands. Dad and Jake jumped forward to intercept him, but Aro never made it that far. The newbie stopped him. Lightning coursed from her fingertips into him. He landed with a hard crash to the ground, and we watched in surprise as the raw electricity flowed from her into his body, causing it to jump around like a puppet on a string.

"Dawn, you will cease," Markus ordered.

Dawn, as the newbie was apparently called, ended her torture, looking down at the figure on the ground as though it were gum on her shoe. She stepped away from Aro, keeping her hands out in front of her in case they might be needed again. (All I knew was that I was glad I hadn't had to face her in the death match.)

Aro raised his head wearily and croaked, "Dawn, my dear, you don't understand."

"You sent my sire here to die. That's all I need to understand."

Aro pulled himself up from the ground and limped towards her, one hand outstretched. "Constantine wasn't your sire, Dawn. He was merely the vampire who turned you. He didn't even understand the power you hold and all you can do. Not like me._ I_ am your true sire. Only I am fit to hold that title. It was for the best. His hold on you was unnatural. Can you not see this?"

"One more step and you're ash," she said.

Aro halted and peered around him. His brothers were staring at him as though they'd never seen him before, his fearsome guard appeared anxious to run away, and now Dawn, his latest prize, was threatening his very existence. The currents of electricity seemed to have awakened him to how much damage he'd done.

"We shall leave," he rasped. "Cullens, I expect you to keep your end of the bargain with respect to Nahuel."

"Of course," Carlisle said, putting his arm protectively around Nahuel.

Aro turned to Caius and Markus. "Brothers, let us go home. There is much to discuss, much to explain."

They warily nodded before taking places at his side. When all was ready, Aro glanced over at Dawn, who hadn't moved from her position in front of us. He held out a welcoming hand. "Dawn, my dear one, come. We must away to home. I will explain all to you once we get there. You will understand I only did this for your own good. Come now. Let this madness be at an end."

She walked towards him and, for a moment, I thought his charisma and powers of persuasion had worked. But, when she was only steps from him, Dawn reached up to her neck, unclipped her robe, and tossed it at him.

"I'm staying here," she said.

Aro caught it and looked down at the gray fabric in his hands before darting a glance at her. "I can explain—"

"I've received all the explanations I need, _master_. I'm done with the Volturi, and I'm done with you. Now, leave here in peace or I'll help the Cullens destroy all of you," she threatened.

Aro opened his mouth as if to argue, but common sense seemed to win out. With a slow nod, he gave a sad smile and said, "I understand your anger, beloved. I hope, once it has cooled, you will see that we are your family. There will always be a place for you with us."

Dawn turned her back on him, refusing to say a word. Aro looked at us. "Carlisle," he said, "I am glad we are once again able to part as friends. I also hope you will watch over my young one and send her back to us when she has come to her senses."

"If she wishes to leave, I will not stop her," Carlisle answered. "If she wishes to stay, she is more than welcome to join us."

Aro clenched his jaw. This must have been like a nightmare for him. Not only was he not getting anything that he'd come for, he was also going home a lot worse for wear and minus two of his members. He turned to merge into the Volturi ranks, but I stopped him.

"Aro," I called.

He whirled to face me, looking like he wanted nothing more than to tear me limb from limb. "Yes, Nessie?"

I smiled just to be contrary and raised my voice so the Volturi would know I was speaking to all of them, not just Aro. "The Cullens believe a system of government is needed for vampires. We believe the Volturi are a necessary tool to help our society to develop and thrive on into the future. We have no desire to overthrow this government or to rule in its place. We merely wish to live as a family in peace." The smile slipped from my face as I stared Aro down. "However, we will also not stand idly by and allow the Volturi to harm innocents or to take what is not rightfully theirs. We have the power to protect what is ours from danger, and should any of you feel the need to test us on that score, you should know that next time we will not wait for you all to come here. Oh, no. The next time, we will come to you and we will crush the Volturi until there is nothing left in Volterra but an empty castle and a greasy stain."

Nothing was said. Instead, Aro continued to stare at me. He tried to hide it, but I saw the fear spasm across his face. And, in that second, I knew it was over. The bully was exposed for the coward he had always been. He wouldn't dare come after us again. Aro nodded once, turned away, and melted into the black ranks. A signal was given and the battalion started off. And just that quickly, the Volturi were out of our lives.

None of us moved or spoke until the sounds of their marching had dissipated and we knew they were truly well away from us. Then, everyone spoke at once. Mom and Dad took turns hugging each other and me. Jasper patted me on the back, proclaiming to everyone how proud he was even as Emmett patted me on the back and called me an arrogant fool.

"Not that I'm complaining," he said. "It just means I raised you well."

I shook my head and hugged him. Then, I was pulled off of him and into Jake's arms. (He'd changed back from wolf form.) My beloved hugged me to him so hard I thought one of my ribs was going to break.

"You're not allowed to ever do that again, Nessie. You about gave me six heart attacks," he declared, jerking me back from his embrace to glare down at me.

"Allow?" I echoed indignantly, but was cut off from arguing when he kissed me. And, that was how the next ten or so minutes went. He'd break off from kissing me long enough to chew me out. Then, when I'd got my breath back enough to argue with him, he'd kiss me again. When he did it for the fifth time, I didn't even let him get started yelling at me. I just smiled and pulled him back down for another kiss.

I'm not sure how much time passed before Jake and I were interrupted by my family. We were all just so happy to be alive and together that all anyone could seem to do was smile, laugh, and exchange hugs. Even the wolves yipped and romped around in delight.

But, it wasn't long before the euphoria of the moment passed and it became evident that there was much to be talked over. Carlisle suggested that this important discussion take place back at the house, and everyone readily agreed.

Then, of course, we remembered Dawn.

While we'd celebrated, embraced, and joked, she'd been standing on the fringes, taking it all in with a deprivation reminiscent of a dehydrated man wandering the desert.

"Dawn, we would be honored if you would join us as well," Carlisle invited.

"Yes, you are most welcome," Esme added with a smile.

Dawn's hand shook as she reached up to slip some hair behind her ear. It was an oddly human gesture coming from someone who was decidedly unhuman. I noticed she kept shooting furtive glances at Nahuel, and I couldn't help but wonder if her unease had something to do with him. Maybe she worried that he would hurt her? But, even as I considered that, I dismissed it. If Nahuel even took a step towards her, she could have him on his knees in seconds. Besides, with everything that had happened, it made more sense for her to be fearful of me than him.

She kept her head bowed as she responded. "I have no wish to impose further upon your family. If you could but tell me where we are, I am sure I can find my way towards more familiar territory."

"This is South Dakota," Mom answered. "Castlewood, South Dakota to be more precise."

Dawn's fists tightened at her sides.

"Where are you from, honey?" Esme asked, taking a ginger step towards the girl.

"It doesn't matter. I don't belong there anymore." She looked around herself like a lost soul. "I don't belong anywhere anymore."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Dad nudge Nahuel and nod in Dawn's direction. Nahuel seemed startled for a moment, but, nevertheless, stepped forward. Before I could figure out what that was about, Nahuel had gotten close enough to put a hand on the girl's shoulder. "Then, perhaps you should take Carlisle up on his kind invitation. That is, until you know where it is you wish to be."

She stared up at him, her eyes wide and innocent-looking despite their reddish glow. I expected to see a myriad of things in her expression—confusion, fear, anxiety. Instead, I saw relief and … interest. And that's when everything fell into place.

I laughed out loud at my discovery. Everyone stared at me in surprise except for Dad, who frowned me into silence. _Of course he knows,_ I thought. _Mind readers are always the first to know_.

Jake leaned down to whisper in my ear. "What is it?"

I grinned and leaned up to deliver a swift kiss to his startled lips. "Later," I said. "I'll tell you later."

—**D—**

Soon enough, we were all seated around the dining room table. The wolves, who had changed back to their human forms, were also present. All we were missing was Nahuel, Huilen, and Dawn, who had taken off in Jasper's Thunderbird to go hunting as far away as possible. Jake and his pack were hardly thrilled by this development. But, as Dawn was unused to partaking of anything save human blood and Huilen proclaimed herself close to falling off the proverbial wagon, Carlisle thought it best to get them fed and then approach the idea of vampire vegetarianism again once they had full stomachs.

It turns out it was a good thing they left because I was spared the embarrassment of having them witness the interrogation I was put through. I spent the next hour going over everything I'd been thinking and all I'd done, planned and connived to get things to happen the way they had. Some of my family (namely Carlisle, Emmett, Jasper, and Alice) praised my quick thinking and clever planning. But, the rest took turns chewing me out for butting in to begin with.

"But they would have killed Nahuel if I hadn't interfered. I couldn't let that happen!" I argued.

My father disagreed. "Aro had many plans for Nahuel, but none of them included killing him. He would have tested him to see what all he could do. Then, he would have—"

I interrupted. "Made him join the Volturi? That's a fate worse than death."

"No," Dad said. "Didn't you hear Aro out there? They don't see half-vampires as equals. He never even said Nahuel's name. He only ever called him 'half-breed." So, no, Nahuel wouldn't have been a member. He would have been little better than a guard dog."

"Guard dog? How do you mean?" Leah said, obviously offended by the term.

"The last time the Volturi came here, they saw the wolves standing with us. Aro was able to deduce that we had a connection to you all, but not the nature of the connection. He believed we were keeping you around as guard dogs to act as extra protection. Since Aro was unlikely to get werewolves to act in this manner for him, he figured Nahuel would be the next best thing. In fact, the more he discovered about Nahuel's powers, the more he was sure it would be guard dog 2.0."

I shook my head. "Nahuel never would have gone for that. They would have had to end up killing him."

"You're forgetting Chelsea's powers. She can bond anyone to anyone else. Between her and Jane, Nahuel would have been as loyal to Aro as the rest of them," Dad explained.

"Which means by the time we could have gotten to him, he probably wouldn't have come with us," I said, glad to have the argument come around to my way of thinking. "So, it was good I interfered the way I did."

Jake, of course, wasn't giving in that easily. "You interfering nearly got you killed. I don't see anything good about it."

Since I knew that particular argument was one we were going to be having for the next fifty years or so, I decided to change the subject. "The real lynchpin in bringing down Aro wasn't me. It was Chelsea. When Aro killed Felix and hit her, he did more damage to his position in the Volturi than I ever could have."

"But what made him do it? I know he was angry and a little close to insane by that time. But why make it worse? Was it really because he lost against Nessie? That seems a little extreme," Esme said.

"You can probably blame me for that."

We all turned to stare at Jasper after he said that. He shrugged under the power of all the attention. I asked my uncle what he meant.

"I took a page from your book, Nessie. I saw what you did when Aro took your arm to read your mind. He didn't read anything, did he? He only saw what you wanted him to see—just like you did to Jacob and Emmett that day of training."

"Yeah. How did you know?" I asked.

"He had the same stupefied look on his face that they did. Then, when you were fighting Felix, you did it again. I'm not sure what you showed him, but it kept him stunned long enough for you to win."

"I showed him nothing but black. It effectively blinded him."

"Exactly," Jasper said. "It was brilliant and got me thinking. If your power—which up until then hasn't been considered an offensive power—could be used in that way, why couldn't mine? So, I began experimenting, trying to make specific people feel what I wanted them to feel. Except instead of making them feel calm or at ease in order to diffuse a situation, I used fear and anger to ramp it up. I had Aro three steps away from insanity and the Volturi out of their minds with dread and terror. Then, I just let them go after each other."

After that, everyone seemed to talk at once. I'm not sure what was decided or covered. Honestly, I was too tired to care. It felt like I'd been awake for a month and all I wanted to do was crawl into bed with Jake and have him hold me for the rest of my life. I leaned against him until he wrapped an arm around me. We stayed that way as the rest of my family continued to rehash everything. I probably would have fallen asleep just that way if Alice hadn't asked an intriguing question.

"But what about what I saw?"

All conversation ceased. We all knew what she was talking about. It was the last vision she'd had of me. The one where Felix had killed me and was going after Jasper. Silence stretched out as nobody had an easy answer. Finally, Carlisle put the matter to rest.

"You're visions are subjective, Alice, in that they are dependent upon the decisions of those within the vision. For example, you saw Bella becoming a vampire long before she did. But, if at any time along the way of her and Edward's courtship she'd changed her mind, your vision would have changed accordingly. It is my guess that Nessie changed her mind about something."

I considered this. I tried to remember what I was like when she'd had the vision, where I'd been in this incredible journey to figure out what I wanted from my life. Then, of course, I figured it out. "You had the vision before I'd really understood my place with Jake and before you all had truly accepted that I was going to be in that field standing with you. I would have interfered anyway. I wouldn't have been able to stop myself. But, without knowing that I had you all backing me up and having the full understanding of my powers with Jake, I imagine I would have been killed exactly as Alice saw."

Alice shook her head. "But, if that is true, it should have changed what I saw. Instead, it took the vision completely away. Even now, I can't see a future for you. It's like someone erased you. I thought it was because you were going to … die. But, now … I just don't understand."

"I think I can answer that one," Jake said with a smirk.

I frowned, thinking his expression was strangely cocky for this situation.

He waited to see if any of us would guess. When we stayed silent, he laughed. "All the intelligence in this room, all the years of education and book-reading and I am the one who figures it out?"

I elbowed him in the ribs. "Gloat later. Tell us the answer."

He stole a quick kiss. "It's us. You and me. Our connection."

"What about it?"

Carlisle started laughing, joined in by Leah, Seth, Quill, and Embry.

"What?" I asked, looking at them all like they were crazy. "What does the imprinting have to do with this? We've been imprinted since I was born. Yet, Alice has always been able to see me."

Jake hauled me against his side. "When you accepted the imprinting—really accepted it—you effectively became a wolf, darlin'. At least, as far as Alice's visions go. This means, when it comes to seeing your future, Alice is as blind as she would be if she tried to see mine."

I considered this as everyone burst out with their own opinions on this development. Alice was annoyed that she wouldn't be able to envision my wedding before it actually happened. Emmett congratulated me on finally getting free of his "snoop" of a sister. Mom and Dad were worried about what this could mean in terms of avoiding danger for me in the future.

"Well, you can't have everything," I finally said. "I'm a true hybrid. Part human, part vampire, and part wolf—all the best traits of three great species combined in one. It wouldn't be fair if there wasn't a downside or two."

Conversations continued as people debated different subjects and happenings of the day. This time, I didn't bother to join in or keep up. We had the rest of our lives to figure out all the little things. I snuggled against Jake, enjoying just being with him. The last few months had taught me just how precious that is. I looked up at him. He was refereeing an argument between Leah and Seth about the best way to flank an enemy in battle. A wave of the love I have for him welled with in me. In the middle of making his point, he stopped and turned to me. His eyes softened the way they always did when he looked at me. Inside, his love joined mine, bathing us both in a luscious elation only being together could bring.

I smiled.

He smiled back.

_Yeah_,I thought_, we got all the time in the world._


	60. Epilogue

**Chapter Sixty: Epilogue**

In case you were wondering …

After graduation, Jake and I were married in an intimate ceremony that took place on the reservation a month or so after Seth and Anna's wedding. I attended Yale, but, two years later, I realized my passions ran more towards designing websites than arguing law. So, I ended up with a degree in communications. Now, I work flexible hours doing consulting work from a home office. I still hate public speaking. But, I've gotten good enough at it that, when I'm asked to do a presentation for a new client, I can muddle my way through it.

Four years after my graduation from college, we moved again. This time, it was Northern California to a little town very few people have ever heard of. Esme found us a sprawling ranch overlooking 19 acres. We happily settled into a mission-style house that has lots of bedrooms, thick adobe walls, a four-car garage, amazing Sierra views and a charming cottage hidden in the back.

Since we moved to a new town, it was sadly time take a new family name. Thus, the Cullens became the Meyers. This was something Dad and the others seemed to adapt easily to; but it took a little longer for me. We floated the usual adoption story so my parents and aunts and uncles could start high school. Meanwhile, Jake and I were the Morgans, a young married couple who rented the cottage in the back. This gave us the privacy we needed while still letting us be close to the rest of the family.

Carlisle spends his time saving lives at a nearby hospital while Esme works part-time as an architect at a local engineering firm. The sequel to Emmett and Jasper's _Melon Rebellion_ videogame (called _Melon Rebellion II: Rise of the Gourd_) was an even bigger hit than its predecessor. The game's popularity has been widely attributed to the villain they came up with. The writer from _Gamers Today_ called him "the kind of baddie everyone loves to hate. It was immensely satisfying to see his head explode on my computer screen." Designers attributed this to careful research and crafting on the part of my uncles. I say it's because they simply made a guy who looks and acts like Aro. Who wouldn't want to watch his head explode?

Jake finally opened his own garage. He specializes in restoring old muscle cars and only takes the cases he's most interested in. Strangely enough, Rosalie helps him out part-time after school. There's not a lot of amiable conversation between the two while they work, but you'd be amazed at the kind of craftsmanship that comes out of there.

Alice is … well … Alice. If there is someone's life to manage in some way, she's going to be in the middle of it. Currently, she's managing Nahuel's and Dawn's wedding. (I know. I know. I was completely shocked as well. Not!) When Nahuel and Huilen returned to their homeland a few weeks after the Volturi left, Dawn went with them. When they returned for the holidays, she tagged along as well. It was astonishing how much she'd changed in so short a time. Gone was the awkward, unsure former Volturi guard. Now, she was more relaxed and quick to find humor in small things. More to the point, it was obvious how attached she was to Nahuel and how equally devoted he was to her. (Mom and Dad said they're sappier than me and Jake, but I don't think we were ever _this_ bad. Personally, I think they are close to hitting Seth and Anna territory.)

Huilen, of course, treats Dawn like a daughter and is thrilled to have her nephew find his mate at last. Now, nine years and a lot of persuading from Alice later, they're finally tying the knot in a "small" ceremony that, at last count, had over seventy-five vampires attending. (Honestly, I didn't know we knew this many people.) Alice, with her usual wedding organizer goddess flare, has the ceremony planned down to last detail. Nahuel's only request was that it take place during Christmas so the entire family could be there. Dawn asked that it take place outside. Alice said she'd think about it and get back to them. (Don't worry. Dad was able to remind her that it was their wedding and not hers.)

Over at the reservation, the population is fairly booming. Seth and Anna have seven-year-old twin daughters, Maya and Melanie. Quil and Embry are both married, but Embry and his wife are the proud parents of five sons while Quil has been married to his beloved Claire only a few months. Sam and Emily have three children, two boys and a girl. Leah, meanwhile, seems to prefer her loner status and has remained unmarried. I often wonder when or if that'll ever change, but there never seems to be a ready answer. In the meantime, she appears more than content in her life.

Charlie had a heart attack last year and scared the crap out of all of us. But, with a stint and a daily exercise regime, he's almost brand new. Sue's diligence in curbing his junk food and beer consumption helped with this greatly. He's already dropped twenty pounds and swears he's in better shape than when he was in high school. When he isn't working out, he relishes being a grandpa. The birth of Seth's girls means I'm no longer his only grandchild. And as the twins are in his and Sue's house nearly every day, he has already taught them the finer points of baseball as well as how to fish.

Emma and Derek broke up their sophomore year in college. Like me, Derek ended up having a change of heart in terms of his future dreams. Instead of being a veterinarian, he became a respected basketball coach at a high school in Westminster, Maryland. He also teaches biology and sponsors the local Future Farmers of America program at the school. One day, he got a Facebook friend request from Emma, who was an engineer in Baltimore. They met up for a "friendly" coffee and, three months later, eloped in Las Vegas. Their daughter, Gayle, was born last October. I've managed to stay in touch with them both over the years, but only through emails, an occasional letter, and stray phone calls. I haven't seen either of them since high school because they look twenty-seven and I look … nineteen. I know there will come a time when I have to end the friendship, but I'm not looking forward to it.

And, since we're covering things I'd rather not think about, we haven't been bothered by the Volturi. A few months after their "visit," some of the guard left Volterra for good (including Chelsea and Renata). The last we heard, Aro was scrambling trying to get them back. Alice still keeps an "eye" out for any movements on their part, but I'm not really too concerned. Aro is a bully who's been exposed for the coward he is. He won't dare come after us again. But, if he does, we'll be more than ready.

Lastly, as much as I mourned the loss of the Cullen surname, I managed to find a way to keep it in the family. Jacob readily agreed to my plan. Thus, when our son was born, we named him Cullen Joseph. Charlie, while not so pleased to be known as a great-grandfather, was ecstatic to have a namesake for his dearly-departed brother.

Cullen just turned three, and—let me tell you—he's more than a handful. Between his antics and my consulting business, I'm usually dead on my feet by the end of the day. Thankfully, I have a ready supply of capable babysitters close at hand to help when things get to be too much. Mom and Dad are spectacular grandparents—even though it still kind of freaks Mom out to be a grandma at only thirty-six. Dad, meanwhile, is fascinated with this little boy with his own bronze hair, Mom's eyes, my chin, and Jake's dark complexion. He reads to him all the time and, last week, I caught him teaching my son scales on the piano. (God help us all.)

At first, we weren't sure what to expect with Cullen. What exactly would he be? Vampire? Human? Shapeshifter? Some mixture of all three? My pregnancy was the usual nine months, and he's far more interested in Cheerios than blood. But, he also learned how to walk by the time he was seven-months-old and could speak full sentences by age one. Carlisle and Dad have debated the issue back and forth. But, as long as he's healthy, I'm content to wait and see what happens when he gets older. Right now, I'm just enjoying being his mom and watching him grow and develop. Truly, he's my little miracle every day.

I guess that covers everything and anything you might want to know. Well, except for one thing. How are Jake and I doing? Are we still as passionately in love as we were ten years ago? The answer is simple.

No.

If anything, I'm more in love with him today than I was then. Years and life experience have shown me that the story books don't really have a clue what happily ever after looks like. Is it flowers, hearts, sunsets, obedient children, and a problem-free life of mind-blowing sex with my husband every night?

No. It's cleaning mashed sweet potato off your wall because your son decided to finger paint with his dinner instead of eating it. It's sitting around the dining room table playing _Bullshit_ with your family simply because you get a kick out of hearing your grandparents shout expletives. It's movie nights and Chinese food and fixing the washing machine because you got mad and accidentally ripped the sucker's top off. It's staying up until the wee hours of the morning to finish a work project and Cullen's laughter and trying to talk my mom out of spoiling him rotten. It's the nightly walks from the big house to our cottage home and tucking our little guy in when he goes to bed.

_Then_, once everything is done, it's having mind-blowing sex with my husband.

(What? A woman's gotta have her priorities straight, right?)


	61. The Story Behind The Story

**The Story Behind The Story**

It's crap.

If you'd asked me early last year what I thought of fanfiction as well as those who write it, that would have been my reply. I also would have made the following statements about fanfiction as a whole:

■ They are pieces written which unwisely continue stories that are otherwise well and truly finished (and should have, therefore, been left alone). If a story is over, let it be over.

■ They are penned by hack writers who can't firmly grasp the characters, plot, and themes in the original story. Thus, these writers can't continue a plausible tale.

■ They are usually full of inconsistencies, ridiculous melodrama, mindless fluff, and adventures that the original author would have never dreamed up for his/her characters—or even wanted to. (As well as an overabundance of exclamation points. They should be used sparingly, people!)

Hence, as a reader, fanfiction wasn't something I was interested in bothering with.

As a writer, I'd always seen fanfiction as something done by three sorts of people:

■ Newbie writers who needed the training wheels of someone else's story until they could come up with their own.

■ Readers turned writers who just wanted to dwell forever in the afterglow of the tale they were copying.

■ Veteran writers who can't come up with their own stuff.

As I was none of these people, I steered clear of fanfiction.

So how does a person who feels this way end up writing something like _Daylight_? The answer is simple.

It was a dare.

I have two friends, both writers, who I've known for quite some time. We get together at least once a month to have brunch, complain about our manuscripts, and talk about whatever books we're currently obsessing about. One of my friends (we'll call her Jane) is a fanfiction author with 15 stories under her belt and is presently fighting her way through her first "real" novel. The other friend (we'll call her Mary) is a science fiction novelist on hiatus due to a massive case of writer's block. She's not a fanfiction writer, but she has read a couple of fanfiction pieces she's raved about in the past.

Consequently, the three of us were sitting together outside of a little café enjoying the cool breeze on an otherwise hot Saturday afternoon in May of 2011. We were arguing over _Breaking Dawn,_ the movie (mostly because Mary disagreed with the idea of it being split into two films). The conversation eventually turned to _Breaking Dawn__,_ the book, as well as the problems with the _Twilight_ saga as a whole. I expressed my frustration that Stephenie Meyer (even though she wrote a truly compelling story) had left many plot holes that had never been completely filled and loose ends which had never been tied up. I felt this happened because she was still an inexperienced writer when she'd completed her manuscripts and, unfortunately, hadn't had an editor force her to address the copious problems, inconsistencies, and implausibilities in parts of her story.

Jane mentioned that she'd written several books retelling her own version of the _Twilight_ saga, trying to deal with these issues. I scoffed, touting my many bad opinions on fanfiction. As a writer, it bothers me to have people messing with something that innately belongs to someone else. Therefore, I believe what I said was something along the lines of . . .

"Writing fanfiction is like walking into someone else's house, trying on their clothes, and pretending to be them around all their friends. It's creepy, like _Invasion of the Body Snatchers _or something."

Jane argued against me, describing how supportive the fanfiction community was and how she'd grown as a writer just by being a part of it. Mary then pointed out how fanfiction is the original writer's exercise, as it is writing in its purest form. The writer writes. The reader reads. Basic give-and-take. There's no middleman, no monetary concerns, and nobody keeping score. The writer either writes a compelling story encouraging the reader to come back for more, or they don't. Advertising, hype, and all the rest of the things that sometimes encourage readers to buy books they might not have otherwise touched would be out of the way.

"Think of it as the one, true test every writer of merit should pass," Mary declared.

I remember her words exactly because I actually considered it for a moment before sticking out my tongue just to be contrary. Our conversation probably would have turned to problems I was having with my own current manuscript had it not been for what Jane said next.

"You think you could write a realistic sequel to_ Twilight_, Becca?"

I rolled my eyes and said something to the affect that I could do it even if I was in a coma. She upped the ante by bragging that she could write one better than me. As I have many, many years of experience in writing over Jane, I asked her if she sincerely meant what she'd said. She affirmed that she did. Then, she spoke the next nine words and a writer's contest to end all contests was born.

"I dare you to write a fanfiction story better than mine."

Unfortunately, I have a fiercely competitive nature. It's my downfall. So, without further thought or consideration, I accepted her dare.

Mary, ever the voice of reason, stepped in and started laying the ground rules, which consisted of the following:

■ Each author has to write a sequel to _Twilight_ using the characters of Nessie and Jake as the hero and heroine. (We'd both agreed that this was the most logical place to start a sequel.)

■ Authors can write as much or as little as they want, but the contest would last from May 31 and end on September 30, 2011. Whether the story was completed was irrelevant.

■ A complex point system was set up for reviews, views, author alerts, and story alerts, assigning a rising scale of points depending on how many of each (as well as what type) a particular author received. Mary was appointed referee and would have unlimited access to both author accounts in order to accurately tally the points. This final total would decide the winner.

■ No author was able to solicit reviews at the end of their chapters. Reviews had to be given freely by the reader. (We could, however, talk to our readers through reviews, or PM s if we wished.) Neutral reviews would receive no points. Negative reviews would deduct points from the author's overall total. Positive reviews would, of course, add points. (Mary was the final judge on what constituted a "neutral," "good," and/or "negative" review.)

■ Authors were not allowed to read each other's stories before the final deadline. Mary, however, was encouraged to read both tales.

■ Jane, Mary, and I would meet every month to gauge each other's progress. Mary would announce who was currently winning and give a point total for each author.

So, there you have it. A simple, little contest, right? I wasn't worried. I could write circles around Jane. It would be a walk in the park. So, without any finite concept of a plot, I decided to write a sequel which could do the following:

■ Fill in all the gaps and loose ends I felt Stephenie Meyer had left in her story.

■ Be as realistic and true to the series and characters as possible.

■ Give Nessie an authentic, defined personality separate from her parents.

■ Force Jacob to finally step from the shadows of supporting characters into a solid hero role. (In case you're wondering, in terms of Bella, I'm strictly Team Edward.)

In any case, I wrote my first chapter and uploaded it on May 31, 2011. Within the next month, I'd posted two more chapters and was arrogantly confident of my literary superiority as I went into our monthly author brunch.

Unfortunately, my superiority complex didn't last long. Jane was kicking my butt. She wasn't just kicking my butt, she was boxing it up and sending it home to Mama. I'd written and posted three chapters. She'd posted nine. I had eight reviews. She had twenty-two.

Shame and irritation were my companions on the drive home. I sat down at my computer, watching the cursor blink mockingly at me. _Was I really going to just lie down and let her win? Was fanfiction going to be the one hurtle in my writing career I couldn't jump?_

Of course not.

So, I started furiously typing out Chapter Four, and, before I knew it, I was on Chapter Seven. I uploaded each to my site, waiting impatiently to see if anyone was reading these words I was putting out there in the universe.

It was torture.

When I finally got a new review, my stomach clenched. I was so worried that I might be received negatively. Then, as each positive review came in, I found myself addicted to knowing what people thought of my work. Suddenly, I was a fanfiction crack 'ho' in need of a review fix. (Pathetic. I know.)

Just as suddenly, I found that I, as a reader, wanted to know what was going to happen to Jake and Nessie in _Daylight_. This simple, little love story I'd envisioned began to balloon out and become more intricate. (It's good for the reader, but bad for the writer.) I was also freaking out because, once I uploaded the latest chapter, I couldn't make any major changes. What I'd written in the heat of the moment had to be right the first time.

All in all, it was a LOT of pressure. _Believe me._

So, I went into July's brunch on pins and needles, unsure if I'd done enough to even remain in this competition. Turns out, I'd made up a lot of ground in the month since we'd last met, but Jane was still holding her own. (Even though I'd uploaded more chapters, she had more reviews and fans than I did.) Irritated, I asked if she was doing the old tease-n-tickle. (For those of you who don't know, this is when an author has her two main characters set up in a compromising position on purpose without any inclination to have them follow through on their physical desires. Usually this is done too early in the story merely for the sake of generating reader interest rather than furthering the plot, relationship, or character development.) In any case, it's _tacky_. (And, no, I never did it in this story. What kind of writer do you think I am?)

When, Jane blushed under the weight of my accusation, I knew I'd figured out part of her strategy, but I didn't let that stop me. If anything, it only pushed me to write a better story. At this point, I wasn't just interested in winning this contest, I wanted to write as true a sequel to the series as possible. I knew it meant I was going to have a slower build and pace overall, but I also knew—if I could pull it off—it'd be worth it in the end.

Thus, my main strategy became to take the tortoise role in this race and let Jane be the hare. (We all know who wins that one.)

By the end of the following month, I was so deeply involved in my story, I'd nearly forgotten about the contest. Every few days, I was uploading another chapter. I was as much on the edge of my seat in this adventure as I imagine a lot of you were. I was shocked as all get out when Constantine attacked Nessie, and I couldn't believe it when Nahuel showed up. (I know it is hard to understand how things could happen in a book that the author doesn't even know about, but that's how I write.) The biggest issue I faced in writing by the seat of my pants was that—as I said before—once a chapter was uploaded, I couldn't go back and make any large changes. It proved a handicap, but one I managed by trying to plan ahead as much as possible.

The next brunch was there before I knew it. This time, Jane and I were neck-and-neck in this race. I'd outstripped her in chapters, and tied her in points. In addition, I was gaining reviews and subscribers at a more rapid clip. My strategy seemed to be working, but I wasn't pleased. I was worried. You see, I didn't want this experience to end. I'd become hooked on the entire cycle: Writing words I knew people would immediately see and react to. I needed these reactions more than I was ready to admit. And, still, I continued writing.

My full-time job became almost a nuisance to me as all I wanted to do was dive back into this _Twilight _world I had created for myself. This was especially weird in that I hadn't felt that way since I'd first read the original books by Stephenie Meyer. I was pleased at this development, but I was also growing more frightened as the days passed. What if my story started out wonderfully and ended dismally? What if I didn't have a real ending at all? With my other manuscripts, this never bothered me. After all, I had all the time I needed. I could put my writing aside, think about the issues, and come up with an acceptable conclusion. I remembered when I'd neared the end of my first completed manuscript. It took me three weeks of constant fretting to come up with a satisfying ending. And, even then, it wasn't the one I'd originally envisioned when I'd first begun to write. (Actually, it ended up being better.)

But, _Daylight_ was different. I had to work within the parameters set by the canon, I had to keep the elements, descriptions, and characters I had developed in my story, and I had hundreds of people counting on me to weave something more spectacular each week. (Pressure-ville, Population: Me.)

In that moment, I realized my outlook on fanfiction was forever changed. Never again would I glare disdainfully down my nose at these kinds of authors. Fanfiction authors who finish their stories shouldn't be mocked. They should be praised and given medals. (Even those who overuse exclamation points.) After all, they've survived this hell-like torture and come out on the other side.

So, I kept pushing forward in my story even as it grew more complex with every stroke of my finger across the keyboard. I knew it would be finished if I could only keep going.

The deadline for the end of our contest came, and I found I really didn't care who'd won. In fact, I was more frustrated because it was time I'd have to spend away from my computer, time away from _Daylight_. This was shocking to me because, no matter how good this story is, I can never publish it. I'll never get paid for this work or become famous because of it. It is writing in its purest and most basic form. It is writing for no other reason than to write. It was freeing and confining at the same time.

And, I loved every minute of it.

When, at last, I wrote the final words of the epilogue of _Daylight_, I cried out of exhaustion, frustration, and exultation. I was exhausted from the sheer pace I'd managed to keep up in getting this out by myself. (No Beta.) I was frustrated because, as a reader, I had never wanted it to end. (No, there won't be a sequel. Although, if I was going to write one, it would be called _Harvest Moon_ and I'd have . . . Nope, not going there. _That_ is where I get in trouble.) And, I was exalted because I'd finished this project when there were many times I hadn't been sure I could or would.

So, thank you, fair reader. Thank you for sticking by me throughout this. Thank you for making my humble, longwinded narrative _mean_ something in this crazy world of ours. Thank you for opening my eyes to how fanfiction can be a wonderful experience because I see that it can be. And, now that I have completed this important hurtle in every writer's career, I'll go back to my own manuscripts and continue to try to get published. (Believe me, you will see the name Becca Austen again—and probably where you least expect it.)

Until then, my cursor is blinking at me, daring me to delve into another story, this one involving characters entirely of my own design. Thank you for your time in reading my ramblings. Fanfiction, it seems, is not the crap I once believed it to be. In reality, it's wonderful, inspiring, and one of the toughest challenges I've ever experienced.

Thank you so much for sharing it with me. It means more than I could ever type.

All the best,

Becca Austen

PS – In case you're wondering, I won the bet. (C'mon. You knew I was gonna.) Not only did I win, I trounced Jane so thoroughly that she said if I put her real name on here she'd stab my typing hand with an unsharpened pencil. Still, I won, which is something I'll definitely be bragging about for the next few author brunches.

PPS-Check out my author profile page to read the FAQ's about _Daylight_. Hopefully, any burning questions you still might have about this story will be answered there. If not, drop me a line.

PPPS – Hey, what are you still hanging around reading this crap for? Whether you loved it or hated it: Review! Review! Review! If I get over a 1000, I'll beat Jane's all-time record! ; )


End file.
